What to Do When You Don’t Feel Like Yourself (39 Ways + Expert Insights)

We all have days when we feel disconnected from ourselves and our lives. Whether you’re feeling lost, unsure of your purpose, or just not quite like yourself, know that you’re not alone.

As someone who has gone through my own identity crises, I can tell you it’s a common experience, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

The good news is you can take steps to start feeling like yourself again. With the right tools and mindset, you can rediscover your authentic self and live a life that feels true to who you are. Are you ready to begin?

Acknowledge and Accept Your Feelings

Ever had one of those days where you just can’t pinpoint how you’re feeling? It’s like you’re not quite yourself, but you can’t figure out why. Hey, it happens to the best of us. Giving a nod to those emotions is the first step in understanding yourself better.

When I’ve had a tough day, I don’t rush to ‘fix’ my feelings. Instead, I take a deep breath and tell myself, “This is how I feel, and it’s valid.” No judgments, no trying to push it away.

And why bother with all this? Because sweeping emotions under the rug never really works out. They tend to pop up when you least expect it. So, give yourself the space to feel.

Set up a cozy spot, grab a cup of your favorite drink, and have a little heart-to-heart with yourself. It’s the first step to getting back on track to feeling more like you.

Practice Self-Reflection and Introspection

Self-reflection is my jam. It’s the art of looking inwards, questioning your thoughts and actions – kind of like having a deep conversation with yourself. Why do we need it? It helps us understand the ‘why’ behind what we do and feel. Think of it as your personal check-in moment.

I’ve found that during this little ‘me-time,’ I’ve had some real lightbulb moments. It’s like connecting the dots and suddenly seeing the big picture. And the best part? You start to notice patterns – what ticks you off, what gets you going, and this kind of intel? Priceless.

Identify the Root Cause of Your Emotions

This part can be tricky, especially if there are a few false leads. Maybe you initially think it’s all about being snappy with a friend, but deep down, it’s actually stress from work.

Sometimes, the real reason might surprise you. It could stem from something you hadn’t even considered important. But once you hit that “aha” moment, things start to make more sense.

Finding the root cause gives you the “what” behind your feelings. And with that knowledge, you can start figuring out the “how” to move forward. Maybe it means setting boundaries, having a tough conversation, or rearranging some priorities.

Whatever it is, knowing the cause empowers you to take informed steps to feel more like yourself again. And remember, it’s okay to go through this process at your own pace. You’re doing great just by starting this journey.

Prioritize Self-Care and Relaxation

Self-care means different things to each of us, but at its core, it’s about taking time to do things that recharge your batteries and give you a sense of peace.

• What lights your candle? Whether it’s a hot bath, reading, or dancing in your living room, do something every day that’s just for you.
• Set Boundaries: Say no to things that drain you. It’s not selfish; it’s necessary.
• Unplug to recharge: Disconnect from your devices every now and then. Trust me, your emails can wait.

This isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about small acts that add up. For me, a cup of coffee and a good book work wonders. It’s not fancy, but it’s my personal slice of heaven. Care for yourself like you would a dear friend.

Talk to Someone You Trust

When things get too much inside our heads, it helps to let some of it out into the world – by talking to someone we trust. I mean, have you ever noticed how a problem seems to shrink a little when you share it?

• Find your confidante: It could be a friend, family member, or even a pet (they’re great listeners).
• Sharing is not burdening: Often, we refrain from talking because we don’t want to be a bother. If someone cares about you, they won’t see it that way.

By verbalizing our thoughts and feelings, we hear them from a different perspective, and sometimes, this alone can help us make sense of them.

For example, when I’m overwhelmed, I turn to my best friend. I begin with, “I just need to vent“, and by the end of the conversation, the world seems a little less heavy.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

Let’s get real for a second—sometimes, the weight we carry is more than a chat with a friend can handle. That’s when it’s time to consider reaching out to a pro. And hey, I’m not just spouting advice here; I’ve been there.

Asking for help means you’re brave enough to admit you want to feel better. That’s powerful. A therapist or counselor is there to guide you, offer strategies, and support you. Sometimes, the hardest part is making that first appointment, but once you do, it’s like setting down a bag of rocks you didn’t realize you were carrying.

If you’re not sure where to start, a little online research or a visit to your general practitioner can point you in the right direction.

"While I am clearly partial, I do believe seeing a therapist is one of the best ways to connect with yourself. A therapist will challenge you to notice what is going on inside of you, have you connect with your emotions, and challenge dysfunctional thought patterns."

— Jocelyn Hamsher LPC, CSAT | Professor and Course Creator | Licensed Professional Counselor, Courageous Living AZ

Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Imagine if you had a pause button for life’s non-stop hustle—that’s what mindfulness and meditation can offer. These practices are not one-size-fits-all, but they’re about living in the present and noticing your thoughts without judgment.

Meditation has been my personal escape hatch when I feel overwhelmed. Give it a try, even if it’s just for five minutes a day, and you might be surprised by how much more focused and calm you can feel.

Exercise Regularly and Stay Active

Believe it or not, breaking a sweat can help clear the emotional cobwebs. Exercise isn’t just about physical fitness; it’s a fantastic way to lift your spirits. No need to run a marathon (unless that’s your thing) – the goal is just to get your body moving.

You don’t need to become a gym rat; just find a physical activity that you enjoy. It can be dancing, swimming, cycling—anything that gets your heart rate up. Consistency is key. Even a quick walk each day is better than one marathon gym session a week.

Regular exercise releases endorphins (those feel-good hormones) and can be a natural boost to help you start feeling more like yourself. It’s about moving your body, breaking a sweat, and maybe even cracking a smile in the process.

Get Enough Sleep and Rest

Let’s talk about catching those Zs. Sleep isn’t just a timeout from our busy days; it’s prime time for our bodies and minds to rest up and recharge. Think about your phone – it works best with a full battery, right? The same goes for you.

When you’re not feeling like yourself, making sure you get enough sleep can be a huge help. Try to keep a regular schedule, even if it’s tempting to stay up for ‘just one more episode.’

It’s not just about the hours of sleep either; quality matters too. A comfy mattress, a dark room, maybe some white noise—find what gives you the best sleep environment.

Eat a Balanced and Nutritious Diet

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “You are what you eat,” but it’s not about transforming into a giant celery stick. It’s about fueling your body with the good stuff so you can feel your best.

Swap out that afternoon bag of chips for some crunchy carrots, or try cooking at home instead of ordering out. It’s these little tweaks that add up to a big difference. And hey, an occasional treat is totally fine—we’re going for balance here, not perfection.

Spend Time in Nature

Nature has this amazing way of putting things into perspective. It’s about breathing in fresh air, feeling the sun or the breeze on your face, and just being. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the woods, or just sitting in your backyard, nature has a knack for soothing the soul.

And the beauty of it? It’s right outside your door, and it’s free. So, when the world seems grey, and you’re not quite feeling like yourself, stepping outside might be just the reset button you need.

Nature doesn’t rush, and yet everything is accomplished. It’s a gentle reminder to slow down and focus on the present.

Engage in Activities That Bring You Joy

You know, those activities that make you forget to check your phone. When you’re feeling a bit lost, reconnecting with hobbies or interests that spark joy can be a real game-changer. It doesn’t have to be anything grand.

Maybe it’s drawing, gardening, playing an instrument, or cooking your favorite dish.

The point is these activities are like personal cheerleaders for your mood. They remind you of the simple pleasures in life and can help bring back a sense of self. So, why not pick up that hobby you’ve been neglecting? It might just be the pick-me-up you need.

Cultivate Meaningful Relationships

If life is a garden, then relationships are the flowers that make it beautiful. I’m not just talking about romance here; I mean all kinds of connections – friends, family, community. These bonds are the threads that add color, support and a whole lot of love.

I’ve found that when I invest time and heart into my relationships, they grow stronger. And it’s not just about having people around; it’s about knowing you’re part of something bigger – a community, a circle of support, a shared journey.

Focus on the Present Moment

When you’re caught up in reminiscing about the past or worrying about the future, it’s easy to miss the beauty right in front of you. Focusing on the now can help reduce stress and bring a sense of peace.

Try simple things like noticing the details in your surroundings or listening intently to a friend. It’s about savoring the little moments. This doesn’t mean ignoring the past or future but finding a balance.

Being present helps you appreciate what you have right here, right now. It’s a skill, and like any skill, it gets better with practice. So why not give it a shot? The present moment is waiting for you to embrace it.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

How often do you find yourself caught in a loop of harsh self-criticism? It can be like a pesky background noise that you don’t even notice after a while. But let’s switch it up.

When I catch myself being my own worst enemy, I’ve learned to say, “Wait a minute, let’s look at the facts.” By questioning these thoughts, we can break free from unhelpful patterns and move towards more positive self-awareness, just as we did when exploring new activities that bring joy.

Practice Self-Compassion and Forgiveness

We all flub up now and then—it’s part of the human gig. The trick is to treat ourselves with the same compassion and forgiveness we’d offer others. This means being gentle with yourself when things don’t go as planned or when you slip up.

Let go of perfection. Embrace the perfectly imperfect journey you’re on.

I think about the times I’ve stumbled, and honestly, those moments have taught me more about grace and growth than any of my wins. Like embracing change or adapting, self-compassion is about rolling with the punches and hugging yourself through it. Forgive yourself, learn the lessons, and keep marching to your own beat.

Say it with me: “I’m doing the best I can with what I have right now.”

"Give yourself grace, knowing it's human to go through seasons of feeling lost... To lose ourselves so we can find ourselves again."

— Naama Zusman | Licensed Life and Career Coach

Reframe the Situation, but Don’t Deny It Exists

Reframing isn’t about pretending everything is fine when it isn’t. It’s about looking for the silver lining without denying the cloud exists. Maybe it’s seeing a setback as a learning opportunity or realizing that a tough day doesn’t define your whole life.

It’s shifting from “Why is this happening to me?” to “What can I learn from this?” This mindset isn’t about denying reality but empowering yourself to face challenges head-on with a more balanced outlook.

When I’ve been dealt a rough hand, I remind myself that even challenges are rich with possibilities. It’s not about sugar-coating things; it’s about seeing the potential for growth.

Identify and Challenge Limiting Beliefs

Let’s talk about those negative thoughts we have, like “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t do this.” They’re like invisible fences that keep us in our comfort zones, but not in a good way.

The thing is, most of the time, these beliefs are not facts. They’re just old tapes playing in our heads. So, how about we hit pause and start questioning them? Ask yourself, “Is this really true?” or “What evidence do I have that contradicts this belief?” It’s like detective work, where you’re uncovering the truth about yourself.

Spoiler alert: you’re capable of more than you think. Challenging these beliefs can open up new possibilities and help you step back into feeling more like the real you.

Write in a Journal

Yup, grabbing a pen and paper and just writing down your thoughts. Journaling is a place where you can spill your thoughts without worrying about spell check or what someone else might think.

I encourage you to grab a notebook and start scribbling. No pressure, no rules—just you and your words. And just like talking to someone you trust brings relief, so does pouring your heart into the pages of a journal. It’s like a personal diary that listens without interrupting, offering clarity and a sense of calm.

Establish a Daily Routine

Now, I’m not saying you need to have every minute of your day scheduled – that’s just a fast track to feeling boxed in. But having a few key routines can provide a sense of stability when everything else feels like it’s up in the air.

It could be something as simple as making your bed in the morning, a regular workout, or setting aside time for those hobbies that bring you joy. These routines become like anchors, giving your day structure and a sense of normalcy.

Plus, ticking off these tasks can give you a sense of accomplishment, no matter how small. So, take a look at your day and see where a little routine might just make a big difference in feeling more like your awesome self.

Explore New Hobbies or Interests

Have you ever thought about picking up something new, just for the fun of it? Well, when you’re feeling a bit disconnected from yourself, diving into new hobbies or interests can be like a breath of fresh air. It’s all about curiosity and giving yourself permission to try things without the pressure of being perfect.

When I picked up gardening, I didn’t expect to love it. But there’s something magical about planting a seed and watching it grow – kind of like nurturing new parts of yourself. So, take a chance on that quirky interest you’ve been eyeing. 

Try a Change of Scenery or Environment

Sometimes, a change in our surroundings can work wonders for our state of mind. If you’re feeling stuck or just plain blah, shaking up your environment might be just the ticket.

This doesn’t necessarily mean moving houses or going on a lavish vacation (though if you can, why not?). It can be as simple as rearranging your room, exploring a new park in your city, or even just taking a different route on your walk.

A new environment can stimulate your senses and spark a sense of adventure and exploration. It’s like hitting the refresh button on your perspective, helping you see things in a new light. So go ahead, change up your surroundings, and see how it might change your outlook too.

Learn to Say No and Set Boundaries

Here’s a powerful little word: “No.” Saying it can be tough, especially when you’re worried about disappointing others. But setting boundaries is about respecting your time, energy, and needs. Plus, when done right, it can actually strengthen your relationships, not harm them.

This isn’t about shutting people out; it’s about protecting what’s important to you. Like tending to the different aspects of your life—sleep, diet, activity—saying no is another form of self-care.

You’re acknowledging your limits and trust me, you and everyone around you will be better for it.

Embrace Change and Adaptability

Embracing change is all about adaptability, which means being flexible and open to new situations. I’ve had my fair share of curveballs, and here’s what I’ve learned: change doesn’t have to be a roadblock. It can be a pathway to new possibilities.

• Start viewing change as an adventure – each twist and turn is part of your unique story.
• Stay curious. Asking questions keeps you engaged and helps you adapt more easily.

Whenever I’m faced with change, I try to remind myself that it’s often the beginning of something exciting. Change is a constant companion, and learning to dance with it can lead you to experiences you never expected. Adaptability doesn’t mean losing yourself; it means evolving and finding new ways to shine.

Focus on Your Strengths and Accomplishments

Focusing on your strengths and what you’ve accomplished so far is like giving yourself a pat on the back – it boosts your confidence and reminds you of your capabilities. Start by listing out things you’re proud of, and I mean anything that makes you smile when you think about it.

This little exercise can be a powerful reminder that, even when you’re not feeling it, you’re still the same awesome person who did all those things.

"Every day take a few moments to remind yourself of your worth. Write yourself a letter or make a list of all the things you appreciate about yourself, your accomplishments, and your strengths."

— Dr. Ketan Parmar | Psychiatrist and Mental Health Expert, ClinicSpots

Surround Yourself With Positive Influences

They say we’re the average of the five people we spend the most time with, and there’s a lot of truth to that. When you’re in a funk, being around positive and supportive people can be like sunbeams through clouds.

These are the folks who lift you up, remind you of your worth, and cheer you on through thick and thin. They’re not there to pretend everything’s perfect but to help you find the strength to push through the not-so-great days.

If you’re looking to nurture positivity in your life, start by reaching out to those who make you feel good about yourself. And remember, positivity also means setting boundaries with negative influences. It’s all about creating an environment where you can thrive and feel more like yourself.

Identify Your Feelings and Allow Yourself to Release Emotions

Recognizing how we feel isn’t just about putting a name to our emotions; it’s about giving ourselves permission to express them. Bottled-up feelings are like a shaken soda can—you can only hold the fizz in for so long before it bursts. Here’s a little reminder for you: it’s healthy to let those emotions flow.

• Find a way that works for you to express your feelings. Maybe it’s through music, art, or sports.
• Give yourself a ‘feelings break’ when you sense emotions bubbling up.

Sometimes, just admitting to yourself, “I’m feeling really overwhelmed right now”, can lighten the load. And if tears need to come, let them. It’s okay to have moments of vulnerability; it doesn’t make you any less strong.

In fact, it’s a brave thing to face your emotions head-on. So, take a moment, breathe, and check in with yourself. How are you really feeling?

Reexamine What Matters to You

What’s important to you? What makes you feel fulfilled? This isn’t about societal expectations or keeping up with anyone else’s pace. It’s about what lights up your soul.

For some, it might be family, creativity, adventure, or making a difference in their community. Realigning with your values can guide your actions and decisions, creating a sense of purpose that propels you forward.

It’s like resetting your internal compass to ensure you’re heading in a direction that resonates with your true self.

Pursue a Goal That Brings You Joy

We’re not aiming for just any goal; we’re zeroing in on one that lights you up inside. The pursuit itself should be as enjoyable as the potential outcome.

For me, it was learning a new language. It wasn’t about becoming fluent as much as it was about enjoying conversations with new people and immersing myself in a different culture. So, what’s one thing you’ve been meaning to try or get back into? Now might be the perfect time to take that step.

Remove Yourself From Unrealistic Expectations

There’s a difference between aiming high and piling on the pressure until you’re buried. Unrealistic expectations are like wearing a backpack stuffed with bricks—you won’t get very far.

It’s about knowing your limits and working within them, not straining under the weight of impossible standards.

• Acknowledge the pressure you’re feeling and ask yourself if it’s coming from within or from external sources.
• Adjust your goals to match your actual bandwidth—something challenging but achievable.

Recently, I had to step back and reassess my own expectations when I found myself dreading tasks I used to enjoy. It was a wake-up call that led me to shed some of those metaphorical bricks. Dropping unrealistic expectations frees you to move forward unencumbered.

"You might consider how your propensity for perfectionism, imposter syndrome, or fear of failure hinders you. Talking this through with a therapist can be beneficial, but you can start by reminding yourself that life is imperfect and that your expectations should be reasonable and achievable."

— Sameera Sullivan | Relationship Expert, Sameera Sullivan Matchmakers

Examine Relationships and Let Go of Toxic People

We’re all influenced by the people around us, and sometimes, without realizing it, we may be holding onto relationships that drain rather than enrich us. These could be friendships, romantic relationships, or even professional connections that leave you feeling depleted.

Recognizing and deciding to step back from such relationships is not an act of selfishness but of self-care. Think of it as decluttering your social circle; you’re making room for healthier, more supportive connections. Remember, you deserve to be around people who uplift and support you.

So, take a moment to reflect on your relationships and consider which ones truly bring value to your life.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

The comparison game is one with no winners—instead of motivating; it often leaves us feeling lacking. Each person’s journey is unique, just as each story in a book is different.

I’ve been caught in the comparison trap myself, and it led nowhere good. By putting the spotlight on my own path, I found freedom and a greater sense of self-worth. When you invest energy in your personal growth, the need for comparison starts to fade, replaced by an appreciation of your unique journey.

Find Areas in Your Life to Simplify

Ever feel like your life’s got more tabs open than your browser on a busy day? Yeah, it happens to the best of us. When everything feels a bit too much, it might be a sign to take a step back and look for ways to simplify.

It doesn’t mean you have to give up on goals or ambitions; rather, it’s about focusing on what really matters. Maybe it’s decluttering your space, cutting down on commitments that don’t bring you joy, or just learning to say no a bit more often.

Simplifying can help clear the mental clutter, making room for more peace and clarity. Start small, one area at a time, and you’ll soon find that less often really is more.

Celebrate Your Unique Qualities and Quirks

Your unique qualities and quirks are like your personal signature—they make you distinctly you. Whether you have an infectious laugh or an unusual talent, these characteristics are worth celebrating.

• Make a list of things that make you unique. Reflect on them with pride, not embarrassment or shame.
• Share your talents and quirks with others. You might just inspire someone else to embrace their own.

I think about my own habit of creating silly songs for mundane tasks. It’s odd, but it brings joy to routine chores. Celebrating these personal touches, like making time for hobbies, adds color and texture to the tapestry of your life. It’s about owning and valuing the person you are.

Slow Down From the Busyness of Life

In a world that glorifies being busy, taking a moment to slow down can seem counterintuitive. But here’s the thing – constantly running on overdrive doesn’t do us any favors. Slowing down allows us to catch our breath, refocus, and genuinely enjoy life’s moments.

Try to carve out little pockets of calm in your day, whether it’s savoring your morning coffee, taking a leisurely walk, or simply sitting and doing nothing for a few minutes.

These moments of quiet can be incredibly restorative, helping you to reconnect with yourself and what matters most. Remember, life is not a race. It’s perfectly okay to slow down and just be.

Check in With Your Physical and Mental Health

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day hustle and forget to listen to your body and mind. Regular check-ins are like personal tune-ups; they keep everything running smoothly and catch potential issues early.

• Get in tune with your body. Note any recurring aches or pains and consider what they might be signaling.
• Reflect on your mental state. Are you feeling more anxious or down than usual?

I make it a point to pause every now and then and ask myself, “How are you, really?” It helps me recognize if I’m neglecting some aspect of my health. Checking in with our health is a crucial aspect of it, treating ourselves with the care and attention we deserve.

Recognize Where Your Stress Comes From

Understanding the sources of your stress is like being a detective in your own life. It’s about tracking down clues and figuring out what triggers your worries or overwhelms you.

This strategy has helped me diffuse many stress bombs before they exploded. It’s a proactive way to manage stress levels. By pinpointing where your stress comes from, you can start to make changes or adopt strategies to manage it more effectively. It’s about taking control where you can and finding peace with what you can’t.

"Stress causes so many issues, and one of them can be feeling unlike yourself or that you cannot seem to get back to a state of balance (or baseline as we like to refer to it in the mental health world). Once you can recognize stress patterns — whether from relationships with others, work, or school — you can start to take baby steps toward eliminating stressors or changing circumstances."

— Christina Powell, LPC | Psychotherapist | Owner, Mental Perk Therapy

Turn to Art or Find Your Voice Through Creative Expression

There’s something magical about expressing yourself through creativity. It’s not about being “good” at art, music, writing, or any other form of creative expression. It’s about the process—the way it allows you to explore your feelings, thoughts, and experiences without the need for words.

Whether it’s painting, journaling, playing an instrument, or dancing in your living room, creative outlets provide a unique form of release and reflection. Don’t worry about the end result. Let the act of creating be enough. It’s your voice, your story, your way of processing the world.

So go ahead, pick up that paintbrush, pen, or guitar, and let your inner artist out.

Practice Gratitude and Appreciation

Practicing gratitude brings our attention to the good in our lives, and appreciation amplifies that warmth.

Taking a moment each day to acknowledge these bits of happiness can significantly impact your mood and outlook. You might even start a gratitude journal, jotting down one or two things you’re thankful for each day.

Over time, this practice cultivates a more positive and appreciative perspective, making the bumps along the road a bit easier to handle.

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Frequently Asked Questions

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Final Thoughts

As you work on feeling like yourself again, remember to be gentle with yourself. This process takes time, and it’s okay if you have setbacks along the way. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when it feels hard.

Each small action you take is bringing you closer to the person you want to be. I believe in your ability to overcome this challenge and come out stronger on the other side. You are capable of amazing things, and I know you’ll find your way back to yourself.