Why Do I Attract Narcissists? (+ 25 Ways to Stop It)

Most people feel drawn to others with similar personalities and interests. However, it can be incredibly frustrating and confusing when you repeatedly attract narcissists into your life.

You seem to be falling for their charms constantly, even though they can be downright destructive and damaging.

So, why is this happening? More importantly, how can you protect yourself from them?

According to experts, here are several reasons why you attract narcissists, along with possible ways to stop it:

John F. Tholen, PhD

John F. Tholen

Retired Psychologist | Author, “Focused Positivity

It may be due to a “subconscious” desire to compensate for repressed low self-esteem

If you have found yourself in a relationship with a narcissist — especially if more than once — you have:

  • been fooled by illusion,
  • overlooked warning signs, and
  • gratified unreasonable expectations.

A degree of narcissism (self-love) is an essential ingredient for any healthy personality. Narcissists (individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder), on the other hand, display a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy.

They believe they are vastly superior to (and far more important than) others and that their ideas represent a divine perspective.

To them, other people are merely objects to either:

  1. be manipulated and taken advantage of, or
  2. admire and revere their superiority.

Although narcissists are sometimes financially successful people who superficially appear perfect, they are incapable of placing trust in an equal partnership — and, therefore, forming a healthy interpersonal relationship.

You have signaled agreement with their distorted perspective

If you have found yourself attracting narcissists, you have, at least at the start of the relationship:

  • signaled agreement with their distorted perspective, possibly by belittling others,
  • flattered the narcissist,
  • aggrandized yourself (to seem “worthy”), or
  • tolerated what most would consider unreasonable behavior and treatment.

How to stop attracting narcissists

Narcissistic Personality Disorder results from low self-esteem that has been denied, repressed, and unconsciously compensated for with self-aggrandizement.

In a similar manner, a tendency to attract narcissists can result from a similar reaction formation.

In other words, you may “attract” narcissists due to a subconscious desire to compensate for repressed low self-esteem by associating yourself with the power and perfection the narcissist — at least initially — presents.

Record a list of narcissists’ undesirable and desirable tendencies

Changing a subconscious process can be a daunting task. Likely to work better would be a search for behaviors like those that eventually caused you to reject narcissists.

Related: How Does a Narcissist Handle Rejection and No Contact

The first step would be to record a list of narcissists’ undesirable tendencies and a list of the opposite desirable tendencies.

For example, your lists might include the following:

Undesirable TendenciesDesirable Tendencies
Belittles people who don’t agree with himTolerates and shows respect for people who disagree with him
Insists on doing things his wayCompromises when there is disagreement
Shows equal respect for my feelings and wishes when we disagree
Cheats or liesHonest and truthful
Makes excuses to do what he wantsFollows through on promises and commitments

When first meeting a potential relationship partner, begin grading the person on these tendencies. It should quickly become apparent whether they have narcissistic traits or not.

Maintain motivation to change

We can better manage our motivation by collecting — and repeatedly shifting our attention to — balanced and reasonable (functional) alternative ideas that reassure, inspire hope, or motivate constructive action.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the psychological treatment approach that can be considered “evidence-based.”

A review of 325 different research studies involving more than 9000 subjects found CBT effective in treating depression, anxiety, and related conditions.

CBT works because it is one of the most efficient methods of challenging our dysfunctional thoughts.

The most efficient form of CBT is focused positivity strategy:

  1. Becoming mindful of our thoughts by recording and examining the ideas that inhibit us by occupying our attention,
  2. Identifying the dysfunctional thoughts that are inhibiting self-assertion because they have become the focus of our attention,
  3. Collecting more reasonable, balanced, and functional alternatives, and
  4. Systematically refocusing our attention away from the dysfunctional thoughts and toward the functional alternatives.

Our best response to inhibition about continuing constructive changes is to employ the closest thing we have to a “superpower”: Our ability at any moment to shift the focus of our attention to a more functional thought.

When we find our motivation lagging, we are likely to benefit from reviewing thoughts such as “Attracting better relationship candidates will depend on paying more attention to their behavioral tendencies.”

Teresa Lodato, CPCC, CRTC, CNTC, PCC

Teresa Lodato

Professional Certified Coach | Certified Neuroscience Coaching & Relational Trauma

You don’t attract narcissists; you ‘choose’ narcissists


People who are most attractive to narcissists have experienced trauma in their lives but learned empathy, agreeableness, and conscientiousness to manage that trauma.

These qualities are like honey to a narcissist because you will supply them with a steady flow of energy feeding their insecurity.


  • Those same qualities are what make you an exceptional person for healthy relationships!
  • You don’t attract narcissists; you are choosing narcissists.

Here’s a secret narcissists don’t want you to know: You don’t attract narcissists. You choose narcissists.

Related: Who is Attracted to Narcissists and Why?

Yeah, that can be a hard pill to swallow, and I can hear you now saying, “I don’t do that! Why would I put myself through all that pain?”

What makes you honey to narcissists is what makes you a wonderful partner

Remember what I said about the trauma you’ve gone through and how it’s provided you with really good relationship skills?

Well, that same trauma has created neural pathways in your brain that have conditioned you to recognize narcissistic behavior as something that makes you feel good.

The release of dopamine and other chemicals flood your body when a narcissist waxes on about:

  • how great you are,
  • how they can see a life with you, and
  • how no one else will do.

And they’re not lying!

You really are great, they would love to have a steady supply of your loving, compassionate energy, and no one else (at that moment) will provide them the same source of “food” as you are right now.

How to make them stop getting attracted to you

So instead of blaming the narcissist for doing what they do and playing a victim, and to keep them at bay:

  • Own your gifts,
  • Recognize your patterns for choosing narcissists, and
  • Develop healthy boundaries.

The more you recognize that your gifts will land you a great relationship with the right person (another healthy, relationship-minded adult), the more you’ll realize that the addictive behavior a narcissist pours upon through love bombing is a temporary drug addiction.

It’s like a “fix” that lacks sustenance for the long term.

How to help a narcissist and their insecurities

Narcissists are indeed insecure, but when you’ve experienced trauma, you can feel a bit insecure as well. If you find you have a pattern of choosing narcissists, take the steps necessary to heal your trauma and rebuild your sense of self-worth.

Seek the help of a trauma-informed coach

If you feel you are struggling to do this on your own, seek the help of a trauma-informed coach or therapist with advanced training in relational trauma.

They can support you as you build skills and learn tools to navigate relationships in your life, so you stop choosing toxic relationships and choose loving, healthy ones instead!

Related: Who Do Narcissists Target and Why? 


  • What makes you honey to narcissists is what makes you a wonderful partner for healthy relationships.
  • You don’t attract narcissists; you are choosing narcissists.
  • If your trauma remains unhealed, you will continue to feel insecure and choose partners who will provide you with a quick fix rather than long-term sustenance.

Laurie Hollman, PhD

Laurie Hollman

Psychoanalyst, Choosing Therapy | Author, Are You Living with a Narcissist?

You seek to be connected with someone who appears brilliant, exciting, or powerful

Unintentionally attracting a narcissist may result from the following reasons:

  1. You are friendly and easily approachable
  2. You are a great listener
  3. You tend to give recognition and admiration easily
  4. You are very empathic, so others want you to be with them
  5. You are nonjudgmental and accepting
  6. You are funny and enjoy other’s amusements
  7. You welcome charming company
  8. You seek being attached to someone who seems gregarious
  9. You seek being attached to someone who, by association, raises your self-esteem
  10. You seek to be connected with someone who appears brilliant, exciting, or powerful
  11. You want your connection with someone who seems special, so your self-esteem is raised (though this may be illusionary)
  12. You easily perceive greatness in an outgoing personality and want to be in that person’s circle

As you can see, numbers 1 to 6 are delightful qualities. When you slip into 7 to 12, you may be vulnerable because you imagine that a connection with the narcissist will elevate how you feel about yourself.

You may too easily give too much credit to someone who likes to be grandiose when, in fact, this is an illusion. It is also an illusion to think your self-esteem will be boosted by association with another person rather than by finding positive aspects of yourself to work on and enjoy within your own mind and life.

Reflect on your own attributes, goals, and ambitions

If you are too easily persuaded that connections with others will increase your value, it would be helpful to reconsider this notion and begin self-reflecting on your own attributes, goals, and ambitions.

Self-esteem can be understood as the difference between what you have as ideal goals and what are realistic goals. Ideal goals are something to guide you and shoot for but not expect to attain. Realistic goals are reachable.

When the ideal is too high and unrealistic, then you may find your self-esteem dropping.

Reconsider ideals as guides for the future

Reconsider ideals as guides for the future; actions or beliefs to move toward even if they are unreachable. Then ideals will, in fact, guide but not be ‘misperceived’ as something you must reach or you are of less value.

If your self-esteem is shaky, remember this is an internal state of mind that cannot suddenly change by associating with another you perceive or likely misperceive as a greater value than yourself.

If you reconsider this notion and do not act on it by choosing associations with people who appear but cannot come through with what they promise, you will feel much better about yourself.

Through this, you will stop attracting narcissists who need a vulnerable empath to aggrandize them.

Related: How to Deal With Being an Empath

Sameera Sullivan

Sameera Sullivan

Relationship Expert, Sameera Sullivan Matchmakers

You are an empathetic person

You might be attracted to narcissists because you’re an empath and are frequently driven to help others heal. You have a propensity to notice the positive qualities in others. 

Unfortunately, this is not good for you because you often tend to put your own needs, goals, and desires on hold while focusing on loving and healing others, i.e., narcissists.

You are the only person who will be able to halt this cycle of narcissistic abuse if you are an empath. You need to start practicing setting boundaries. 

Related: What Happens When an Empath Leaves a Narcissist

Stop covering up their bad behavior

You should enter relationships with no preconceived notions, and it’s time you stop covering up bad behavior and start focusing on yourself.

Your self-esteem is low

Everybody has self-esteem problems, but narcissists often exploit them because of their “ego-centric” personalities. 

Narcissists are drawn to those who have self-esteem problems, such as those who have experienced abuse, trauma, or identity issues

Narcissists frequently start a relationship by love bombing you, giving the impression that they are coming to your aid and are prepared to hoist you up. However, narcissists actually exploit your vulnerabilities to bolster their ego and keep you under their thumb.

Assert your self-worth and recover from your prior traumas

Start asserting your self-worth, establishing healthy boundaries, and recovering from your prior traumas. You need to start building your self-esteem and know that you deserve nothing but the best.

You have a history with a narcissist

Human minds are driven to repeat relationship patterns because they crave familiarity. Although not inherently romantic, parents represent our first romantic relationships. 

We are therefore inclined to repeat these learned dynamics or patterns in our love relationships as adults. Even if you don’t have a narcissistic parent, you might have toxic relatives or a narcissistic ex who had a profoundly negative impact on you. 

In either a favorable or unfavorable circumstance, familiarity is inviting.

Identify red flags and work on developing confidence

To stop attracting the same kind of narcissistic people in your life, you need to start identifying red flags and get out of a toxic relationship asap. So you need to work on developing confidence and run away at first sight of someone trying to control you.

Related: Why Do People Stay In Toxic Relationships?

Jenine Lori

Jenine Lori

Masters in Psychology and Education | Author | Founder, The Secret to Life Institute

Unresolved trauma from being raised in a narcissistic household

While there is a multitude of reasons why narcissists are attracted to certain types of people, the main reason why people attract narcissists is due to unresolved trauma from childhood.

When a child grows up with a narcissistic parent or any difficult situation from childhood, they will inevitably attract similar dynamics later in adulthood.

When we are young, our early childhood environment shapes how we perceive the world, from our beliefs to the types of people and situations we will attract.

If we are raised in an environment where certain dynamics such as narcissism are prevalent, this becomes the norm and ultimately what we will go on to model our lives around.

Due to this sense of familiarity, a child raised in a narcissistic household will continue to gravitate towards relationships with people who share similar characteristics as their caretakers. Essentially it’s all the child knew when growing up, so that familiarity, even if dysfunctional, feels safe to them.

Another reason why people who were raised around narcissism will continue to attract these types of people into adulthood is to finally work through their unprocessed trauma.

As children, we cannot make our own choices and decisions, especially when it comes to living in an environment with emotional and perhaps even physical abuse. Children raised in such an environment usually react by adopting a trauma response, both for protection and survival.

Related: How to Deal With a Narcissistic Parent

However, when the child gets older, those original wounds from the trauma will remain dormant within their system. The adult will attract similar circumstances, usually unconsciously, as a way to heal and release that unresolved trauma.

The key to shifting this dynamic is to:

  • Become aware that this is occurring.
  • Take action by working through the childhood trauma being triggered by the current narcissistic relationship.

In doing so, one can finally move past the attraction to these types of relationships and finally release the emotions associated with those early childhood wounds.

Dr. Renetta Weaver, LCSW

Renetta Weaver

Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Neuroscience Coach

“My worth and value are measured by my ability to save others”

You are a smart, strong, confident person and have a pattern of attracting a person who started out being the most charming, confident, perfect person who matched every item on your checklist.

Then, out of nowhere, they became arrogant, entitled, vain, and lacked empathy and boundaries, aka a narcissist. Please know there is hope for you to change your experiences, and I’ll share how.

But first, let’s talk about why and then we’ll learn how to do something different.

There is a theory called Internal Family Systems, also known as IFS, that explores the core beliefs at the root of our choices.

I’m not suggesting that we purposely go out and choose the experience of being with a narcissist. I’m explaining that we all have these protective parts that choose experiences that try to prevent or respond to situations that remind us of our unconscious fears.

The underlying goal of that part is to protect a deeply held belief about ourselves.

Having these beliefs stems from inconsistent love from our parents

Three core beliefs of someone who attracts narcissistic people into their life might be:

  • “My worth and value are measured by my ability to save/rescue others,”
  • “I have to perform for approval,” or
  • “I’m only lovable or worthy if this person stays with me.”

These beliefs often stem from very early life experiences with our parents or primary caregivers who were inconsistent in their love towards us, often due to addiction or other mental health challenges.

Some ways to interrupt the cycle of attracting a narcissist:

  • Work with an IFS-trained therapist to help you understand your unconscious beliefs and rewire your mind: IFS therapy will take you through a process that will help you:
    • Understand why that part of you exists and how it got there.
    • Understand what that part is trying to do for you.
    • Give that part permission to relax and manifest in a new way.
  • Get clear on your values by defining what’s important to you in your relationships.
  • Strengthen your boundaries, ensuring that the experiences in your relationships reflect your values.

James Marrugo, MA, NCC, LPCC

James Marrugo

Mental Health Therapist, Morning Coffee Counseling LLC

You might be a people-pleaser

Narcissists are looking to fulfill a self-absorbed goal.

Motivations of a narcissist:

  • money
  • sex
  • power
  • admiration

You have something a narcissist wants.

If you consider yourself a people-pleaser, meaning you put others before yourself, you are the perfect target. Narcissists target people-pleasers because getting what they want out of you is easier.

People pleasers have a habit of being givers instead of takers. Narcissists have a habit of being takers instead of givers. For a narcissistic person, this is the perfect relationship.

The more you give, the more they take, and the happier they are.

People pleasers usually give to others unconditionally. This makes it easy for narcissistic people to get what they want. As a people pleaser, you are the path of least resistance to a narcissistic person.

Narcissists are the norm for you

It is common for people who often attract narcissistic people to have narcissistic parents. It is familiar to you to be around narcissists. You grew up with a narcissist in the family, most likely a parent.

People being normal is not normal to you. We as humans have a habit of gravitating towards what we think is normal. Narcissists are inside your comfort zone.

You do not know how to handle people not being narcissistic. It makes you uneasy. So when a narcissistic person engages with you, you feel normal and engage in behavior that makes the narcissistic person want to be around you.

People-pleasing, doing as you’re told, and believing you deserve the punishment are just some examples of why a narcissist would want to be around you.

Ways to stop it:

Set boundaries and put yourself first

People pleasers often lack boundaries. There is a habit of saying yes more often than saying no.

Standing by your boundaries is how you protect yourself from emotional pain. Start saying no, put yourself first, and set boundaries.

This will make it more challenging for the narcissistic person to deal with you:

  • To take advantage of you,
  • abuse you, and
  • control you.

Related: How to Take Control Away From a Narcissist

If you’re no longer on the path of least resistance, there is little reason to engage with you. Self-assured, confident individuals are not attractive to narcissists.

Create a new norm

Nothing is more dangerous than normalizing narcissistic behavior.

  • Do you attract a narcissist at the same bar or club?
    • Start going to new places to socialize then.
  • Has your criterion for allowing people into your social circle not changed in a long time?
    • Start being more selective about who you let in your life.

Change up your clothes, how you view yourself, increase your self-confidence, anything to create change in your life to make narcissistic people not the current norm in your life.

Dr. Michele Leno, Ph.D., LP

Michele Leno

Licensed Psychologist | Owner, DML Psychological Services, PLLC

You’re okay with suppressing your own needs for the not-so-greater good

Some attract kindred spirits, while others attract those looking to steal their spirit. If the latter applies to you, you probably have encountered a narcissist. But don’t be too hard on yourself.

Narcissists, at a glance, are very appealing and impressive, and short-term relationships are just fine. On the other hand, narcissists are not ideal for the long haul unless you’re okay with suppressing your own needs for the not-so-greater good.

Unfortunately, no amount of sacrifice will satisfy a narcissist.

How do you stop attracting narcissists?

First, you must recognize what you find appealing about this personality type.

  • Is it the entitlement?
  • Is it the appearance of high self-confidence?

You possess real confidence, which they lack

Believe it or not, they may be attracted to you because you possess real confidence, which they lack, but instead of expressing their appreciation for you, they employ gaslighting to make you question your sense of self.

Exit relationships that leave you frustrated and insignificant

Although you may be unable to avoid attracting narcissists, you can give yourself permission to exit relationships that leave you feeling frustrated and insignificant.

Katie Ziskind, BS, MA, MFT, LMFT

Katie Ziskind

Licensed Holistic Marriage and Family Therapist | Owner, Wisdom Within Counseling

You might have loose boundaries

If you find yourself attracting narcissists, this is typically because:

  • You are being too nice.
  • You might have loose boundaries, or when you try to set a boundary, you don’t actually mean it.
  • You might be a really forgiving, very compassionate, or highly empathetic person.
  • You may be sensitive to other people’s emotions, and narcissists are very aware of people who may be more submissive or passive in relationships.

Counseling can help you develop healthy self-esteem

If you find yourself being too nice, learning about healthy boundaries and assertiveness in counseling will help you shift your romantic relationships.

A few simple skills that promote self-value, self-respect, boundaries, and healthy emotional expression can be very helpful if you find yourself too caring even after a narcissist has hurt you.

If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist, you might feel:

  • taken advantage of,
  • used,
  • sad,
  • anxious, or
  • afraid that someone will hurt your feelings again.

Counseling can help you develop healthy self-esteem if you have been in a series of relationships with narcissists.

Learning to set healthy boundaries with a narcissist can help you have a healthy relationship in the future. You can learn to value your needs and better understand when you feel taken advantage of emotionally or when you are too caring.

Counseling can be a great way to learn more about yourself and create a healthier way of interacting in your romantic relationship.

Paul DePompo, PsyD, ABPP

Paul DePompo

Psychologist and Researcher | Founder, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Institute of Southern California | Author, “The Other Woman’s affair

You think if you give it all, you’ll “earn his love”

If you believe giving it all will help them or make them see “you are the one,” you are stuck in a Ponzi scheme. They may have led you to believe true love or the “right person” is what they have been waiting for. 

Sadly, this is the sales pitch that eventually depletes your emotional bank.

Related: Will a Narcissist Ever Find True Love?

Develop the right boundaries to stop this

Stop this by developing the right boundaries.

If the way in which you are behaving in this relationship is different than the way you’d want your future child to behave, then behave as if you would want them to. 

Just because your past has led you to a high tolerance for poor treatment doesn’t mean you have to cope with what you can handle. Set boundaries to what you deserve.

You believe if it’s not a challenge, it’s “settling”

Often when you have a parent that was not great at showing their unconditional acceptance, one minimizes the love that comes easy. It is a way a child is able to not dislike their parents. 

They tell themselves this it is normal to have to earn praise. So now, when you meet someone who is ready for love in the long-term sense and just wants to love you, you want to run!

Decide what type of person you should be with and how you’d expect them to love you

You can fix this by deciding what type of person you should be with and how you would expect them to love you. 

As you date the “nice one,” you will feel that something is missing — guess what that is — the struggle. So, you should date both individuals side by side so you can do a fair comparison. 

Hang on with Mr./Miss Nice and see how you end up moving toward what you need, not what you want!

Monica Miner, LMHC

monica miner 1

Lead Therapist, Future Now Detox

They know you always give them what they want without noticing

Narcissism is a personality trait. It is the result of people feeling entitled to the best and being self-centered.

The reasons why we attract narcissists are not completely understood, but it is believed that narcissists:

  • have high self-esteem,
  • lack empathy,
  • are generally charming,
  • have an inflated idea of their own importance,
  • often feel entitled to special treatment, and
  • are often flirtatious with people they find attractive.

You don’t really attract narcissists; maybe they know:

  • They can manipulate you, and it is fine for you, and
  • You always give them what they want without noticing.

Narcissists search for a person they can easily approach and talk to. And when they start talking, they realize that you are easy to control. That is why they chose you.

Related: How Does a Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You

Raise your standards and know your worth

However, to stop attracting them, maybe you should need a little change. Raise your standards and know your worth; you are the master of your own life and don’t let strangers easily talk to you or make you laugh.

Learn to ignore senseless topics and don’t get easy ones. You don’t attract them; you are taking the bait.

Hasmik Karapetyan, PMHNP, MSN, RN

Hasmik Karapetyan

Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, Gloria Detox and Rehab Center

You are the type who wants to be manipulated and a giver

Narcissists are often found in romantic relationships or friendships with other narcissists, so breaking free from the cycle of attracting the same type of person can be challenging.

It is important to understand the reasons for attracting narcissists to identify and manage your own behavior towards them more effectively.

Attracting narcissists can be easy if you are the type of person who wants to be manipulated and a giver. The issue here is not the narcissist themselves but you also. You have behaviors that you are not aware of.

Maybe you like how they treated you at the start, but at the breaking point, when you feel struggling, you start to refuse and give up the relationship.

Be self-aware and stop giving them what they want

To stop attracting narcissists, you need to have self-awareness. Be aware of what narcissists like in you and stop giving them what they want.

Graham Byers

Graham Byers

Founder, Best Choice for Seniors

You have self-depreciation or low self-esteem

While narcissists are hell-like personalities in life, some people tend to attract them.

Generally, people with low self-esteem or self-depreciation, especially those who have suffered from abuse, bullying, or trauma and have identity crises, move towards narcissistic traits.

For them, narcissists seem like a safe place, someone to make them feel secure and rise in standards, as they show that they care about their emotions in the initial phases.

You get happy if someone appreciates you even a little and you let them dominate

Co-dependent, people-pleasing people are also at the top of the list. These people take comfort and joy in:

  • caring for others,
  • doing things for others,
  • going out of their way for others, and
  • putting others before themselves and deny their own needs.

Narcissists see them as a target. People with such tendencies get happy if someone appreciates them even a little, and they let them dominate. This is exactly what a narcissist looks for.

Having narcissistic parents gives you a sense of familiarity and comfort

Also, people with narcissistic parents, abusive childhood, or traumatic upbringing are attracted to narcissists.

They sense familiarity in the traits of a narcissistic personality, and, no matter how toxic that is, it gives them some sort of comfort. It is how they perceive the world and relationships.

You have weak boundaries and inferior traits

You are naïve enough to attract a narcissist if you are someone who has:

  • weak boundaries,
  • a shaky character, and
  • inferior traits.

Such people show way too much empathy towards others and get strangled in their needs. And narcissists take advantage of that.

You have to become aware that being like this will only harm you.

The narcissist will:

  • make you feel bad,
  • become dominant, and
  • make your life a living hell.

These traits are toxic for your own personality as well.

What to do:

Accept that you have traits that attract narcissists

Firstly, accept that you have traits that attract narcissists and then try to find out why you have them in the first place.

Recognize why you don’t have a healthy state of mind

Recognize why you don’t have a healthy state of mind. Dig deep and treat them delicately. You can consider going to therapy and talk about it comfortably.

Build confidence, and appreciate and respect yourself

Build confidence, appreciate yourself, and respect yourself. Put yourself before others and consider your needs. Set physical as well as emotional boundaries around yourself and try not to cross them.

Establish values and ethics of your own

Sure, listen to others, but do what you want to. Make decisions yourself. Establish values and ethics of your own. It will help you stay away from narcissists.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I change a narcissist?

Unfortunately, you cannot change a narcissist. While it’s important to be compassionate and empathetic towards those struggling with narcissism, protecting yourself from their manipulative behaviors is also important. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being.

What is the difference between a narcissist and someone with a big ego?

While a big ego and narcissism may seem similar, the two have some important differences. A big ego is a feeling of self-importance often driven by external factors such as accomplishments or success.

In contrast, narcissism is characterized by excessive self-importance, a deep need for admiration and attention, and a lack of empathy for others. Some key differences between the two include the following:

Narcissists lack empathy: Unlike someone with a big ego, a narcissist has difficulty understanding or caring about other people’s feelings.
Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance: While someone with a big ego may have confidence in their abilities, narcissists often believe they are superior to others and have a sense of entitlement.
Narcissists manipulate others: Narcissists often take advantage of others to get what they want and do not feel guilty about it. This is different from someone with a big ego, who may simply enjoy the attention and admiration they receive.

How do I handle conflict with a narcissistic person?

When managing conflict with a narcissistic person, it is important to keep your emotions in check and view them as objectively as possible. Use “I” statements to avoid blaming them directly and calmly explain the issue without accusing them of anything. Make sure you state clear boundaries when discussing problems, so both parties understand what needs to happen for things to improve.

If you feel constantly threatened or invalidated, it may be best to withdraw from the situation until things become emotionally safer for you.

Can a narcissist have healthy relationships with others?

It can be difficult for a narcissist to have healthy relationships with others because their behavior can be manipulative and damaging. However, a narcissist can make progress with therapy and develop healthier relationships over time.

In order for a narcissist to have healthy relationships, they must be willing to take responsibility for their behavior, develop empathy for others, and learn to communicate and resolve conflict in healthy ways.

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