Most of us can easily recall the initial days of our romantic relationship.
Those early days are super exciting for most couples. Unfortunately, as day to day life takes over, we forget what brought us together in the first place. We get busy and neglect to take care of our relationship. We even start focusing on the negative things rather than what we appreciate about our partner.
After kids, jobs, a house to take care of, and tons of daily responsibilities on your ”to do” list, a lot of us lose the motivation to even plan a date night. Even if we do plan something, conversations tend to steer towards kids, money stress, things that need to be done around the house etc.
Time with our significant other should be a time to re-connect and re-kindle those exciting early days as much as possible.
Date night is something my husband and I have always done. We do it at least once a week. We make it a priority because we love this time and look forward to it. What’s important is that you do it on a regular basis and enjoy it. I believe it is so important to have time just for you as a couple.
There are tons of ideas out there on what to do for a date night. Search Google and you can find hundreds of ideas. Stay in, go out, get away for a few days… but one easy way to re-connect is by taking time to focus on the past, present and the future of your relationship.
Focusing on these time frames is a sure fire way to really connect. Remember it doesn’t matter what you do or how big/expensive it is. What’s truly important is feeling excited about one another again. So get a sitter and/or put away the electronics.
Here are a few ideas to make date nights a time to renew that ‘new relationship excitement‘:
1. Date Night “Blast From the Past”
Do something that allows you to reminisce about the past. Get out old photos and re-live funny stories or favorite moments. Listen to the songs you loved when you first met or your wedding songs and remember the good ol’ days.
Watch the first movie you saw together or go to the same restaurant you went to on your first date. My husband and I love to listen to music because music has been such a big part of our past. We love to light some candles, pour a glass of wine and the music brings back the memories for us.
Remembering the things that brought you together and the feelings that led you to one another, in the beginning, is a powerful relationship tool.
2. “No Better Time Than the Present” Date
This one is to help you remember to feel thankful for the things you have. Tell each other about things they do now that you appreciate. Just enjoy being in the moment. Be mindful and notice the amazing things in your lives.
Revive a hobby or activity that you both love. Do something you both enjoy but maybe never get a chance to do. My husband and I love to try new restaurants. We love to enjoy a new atmosphere and try new food.
Ask each other thought-provoking questions about your current life. Not just yes or no questions about your day, but open-ended questions that show you are interested in each other’s lives.
Whatever it is, make sure you talk about what you are happy with now and save any negativity for another time (or try to nix it altogether). Remember this is a chance to create some new memories!
3. “The Best Is Yet to Come” Date
Do something new! Talk about your bucket lists and future goals. Plan a trip! Do a vision board together. Talk about how you can consistently make time for one another from here on. Schedule your times together as a couple on the calendar.
I know your schedule is busy but this is so good for your future! Marriage experts recommend couples hold regular meetings to check-in with one another to keep communication flowing freely and to check in on family goals.
Related: How to Be a Better Husband
If you keep your relationship a high priority and focus on your past, present, and future I promise you will re-connect. This will help your marriage grow, and you and your partner will each discover your best relationship yet!
- Get professional counseling from a licensed therapist.
- Individual and couples counseling. Anytime, anywhere.