Have you ever wondered if narcissists truly enjoy kissing or any form of intimacy? Do they kiss with the same passion and intensity that most people do? Or, do they engage in all of these things just because they have to?
To help us better understand this subject, we asked experts to share their insights.
Founder and President, Control and Power Strategy LLC | Child Protective Investigator
Narcissists kiss because it’s part of what they have to do to keep their significant other in their lives
Narcissists just aren’t into kissing. Narcissists only think of themselves and their needs. They lack empathy, and they need others to recognize and admire them. So, when they kiss, it’s because they’re filling a need that they get and because kissing is part of what they have to do to keep the significant other in their lives.
The narcissist will do a lot of things because being together with the partner probably gives them status, money, or some other self-satisfying need. But, they don’t really feel or get any pleasure from kissing, as most people do.
You and I would feel a feeling for even things like holding hands or any form of touch, let alone kissing or any form of intimacy. Meanwhile, narcissists view the world like a game, where each person is like a tool that they use to help achieve whatever their specific goals are.
Then there’s the issue of love bombing.
This might seem strange that narcissists are often the ones who shower their partner or spouse with a lot of gifts, attention, promises, and constantly painting a great picture of how the future will be since they are the ones that really don’t care about anyone else but themselves. And yet, they are focused on others.
Related: 35+ Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist
The issue with this is not what you see is what you get. The issue is to understand that, like an iceberg, the underlying conditions are often more important. It’s what drives a person to do what they do. And in this case, the narcissists are driven to do whatever they have to, including saying and doing things that would seem counterintuitive.
So, they’ll be extravagant and pour on thick words, acts, or anything else just so they can have their self-fulling needs met.
Also, along these lines, they may (likely) additionally give lavish gifts, promise a better future, and even give lots of attention to the partner or spouse’s family and friends. It could go one step even further with these acts and words for the partner’s work colleagues, the neighborhood where they live, and more.
All of this is because they will pour a lot into whoever or whatever they need because they must get a return on that investment. Even something as simple as just a kiss.
They don’t particularly enjoy the act of kissing like how a loving empathic person does
To kiss a narcissist is a careful dance of emotion, but it’s not what you think. For them, anyway.
Nothing a narcissist does is void of intention. At the beginning of a courtship, when they are idealizing and love-bombing, kissing them can feel like something you have been craving. The narcissist has been laying a foundation of pretending to be your perfect person while acting like they may not be good enough for you.
They have carefully thought out this kiss; they are both deeply insecure as to whether you’ll be hooked by this display of emotion while simultaneously putting in a concerted effort to make this the best kiss you have ever experienced.
As long as you are being idealized, they will kiss you with intention both publicly and privately. Narcissists love the power this gives them while proving to you and to the world that they are experts at intimacy—until they are bored.
When the narcissist feels satisfied with their position in your life, they will begin devaluing you.
What does this look like in a kiss, specifically? You can feel their passion fade. The kiss will feel aloof or like a chore. They will accuse you of not kissing them the “same way you used to” in an attempt to gaslight you. Again, this kiss holds intention and control.
Still deeply insecure, they will displace all of the blame for the changes in the act of kissing onto you; they may even accuse you of cheating on them as a reason that your affect has changed.
So, in short, do narcissists enjoy kissing? They don’t particularly enjoy the act of kissing how a loving, empathic person does. They do enjoy the power it gives them.
Pareen Sehat MC, RCC
Registered Clinical Counselor, Well Beings Counselling
Narcissists are people that have an inflated sense of self-importance and an ego that requires consistent admiration and attention. Considering that fact, kissing may just be a means to an end. They will get something out of kissing as they need unconventional things in a relationship.
We want love, companionship, and loyalty, while they just want to stroke their ego.
They will manipulate and pave the way for the relationship as signs of affection are just a part of their seductive process. They can show that they are enjoying kissing to solidify their partners’ interest in them. They are bound to make shallow, unmeaningful relationships, so showing any interest in kissing is fake and meaningless.
They like to be in control, and every action they take is measured and monitored, regardless of how small.
So, their sexual intimacy is just a product of their inflated sense of self. They can show intensity in kissing and show that they enjoy it, but they just view it as an achievement. So be wary. Narcissists will not allow their feelings to overwhelm them.
Certified Life Transformation Coach, OnlineDivorce
Narcissists do not love the process itself but they love the effect this kiss will have on you
The relationship with narcissists is like a roller coaster. This raises many questions from the partner, one of which is, “Do narcissists enjoy kissing?” There is no definite answer to this question since narcissists do not love the process itself but the effect that a kiss has on a partner or others.
Narcissists lack empathy. This is a consequence of the experiences and psychological trauma they gained as children. Without understanding their own feelings, they will never be able to understand their partner’s feelings.
They are also masters of manipulation. All this makes narcissists a hell of a cocktail.
All actions of the narcissist are aimed at obtaining their own benefit. And they even enter into a relationship not out of sincere feelings but out of their own selfish motives.
They will skillfully manipulate you, get you hooked, and make emotional swings to achieve what they want. Kisses are also a type of manipulation from narcissists. Usually, it’s something on the verge of drama. You will definitely remember such a kiss.
So, do narcissists like kissing? Remember about their lack of empathy. Therefore, the answer is “rather no.” But they definitely love the effect this kiss will have on you.
Simply put, when kissing, narcissists do not experience the same emotional responses that other people do. Moreover, some narcissists may, on the contrary, have an aversion to kissing due to their lack of empathy and the ability to genuinely feel.
We are sorry that this post was not useful for you!
Let us improve this post!
Tell us how we can improve this post?