When people see someone else doing something they are interested in, they often have the belief that it is something they could not do.
I have said to my children, students, friends, and clients on many occasions, that if it is something you have never done, you are right to believe you cannot do it, or at least, not do it well.
Expertise comes with experience. So why do we believe we are not good enough to even try? Just because you have never tried, or only tried to do it once, doesn’t mean you cannot ever do it well. The challenge is, are you willing to try to actually become good at it or is it just something you say?
Being “good enough” is the worthiness only you can give to yourself
There are many experts that research or speak on worthiness. One of my favorites is Brené Brown Ph.D. Her research has shown us that we cannot show up powerfully in our day-to-day hustle without it.
She has said about ‘loving ourselves’, “You better be able to tell the truth about who you are and where you come from and what you’re up against and like yourself in the process of telling that truth because our sense of worthiness lives inside that story.”
I saw my friends speaking on stages where they could share stories that brought inspiration, motivation, and learning to their audiences. It also was a great way for them to get more clients.
I had already been a teacher and helping others learn was something I was good at, but sharing a story… well that was something different. I didn’t feel I knew how to tell a good story.
I thought people would not want to listen to my stories. Because of this, I didn’t work to be that type of speaker.
1. Decide you want it
First, you have to actually decide it is something you really want. Sometimes I see someone accomplishing something I find very cool or interesting.
I may even think, that is something I wouldn’t mind trying someday. I may even try it. But until I actually say to myself, this is something I have to have in my life, I will never be excellent at it.
If you want to be excellent at something, even something you think you cannot do, first you have to decide you want to do it. If the answer is yes, then you are well on your way to being more than ‘good enough’.
2. Change your language
Once you have decided that you want to take on this new ability you have to start by believing you can do it. In fact, it is the only way you will be able to.
I am constantly reminding my kids and students that if they say, “I can’t do that“, they are right and nothing they try to do will overcome that mindset.
No successful business owner, athlete, speaker, politician, etc. got to where they are with a belief that they were not good enough. The transition to ‘good enough’ comes when you believe you can become better.
So, you want to do it and you believe it is possible, now comes the work. You must practice, practice, practice. The only way to get better at something is to do it more than once.
It is believed to become an expert at anything you must have at least 10,000 hours of time doing the work (practicing). It must be part of what you do all the time, not just on occasion.
T. Harv Eker, in his book “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” gives credit to his successful business from the years of being an employee in the same industry. He said that he was grateful to have been paid to learn how to become a great business owner.
My story continued
One day, my friend was listening to me tell a story about my class and other things. I went on to complain that I couldn’t tell stories. She said to me, “You are constantly telling stories. You need to stop telling yourself that lie. You will never get good at telling stories if you keep saying you cannot tell stories.”
Wow, does this mean I could tell stories on stage? Could I be a different type of speaker? Yes, it did.
I decided I could be that speaker and signed up to speak locally in a small venue. I shared my stories, got feedback, made changes. I worked with a speaking coach to hone my practice, I did lots of speaking for free and told stories where I could.
The biggest thing I did for me was to stop telling myself the story that I couldn’t do it. I changed my language and now I get paid to tell stories that inspire, motivate and teach others.
Your true value is that you can do it if you decide you want to. Tell yourself you can and then practice to become great at what you do. You will not only be good enough, but you could also be great!