Friendship is always more profound and more intimate than mere acquaintance.
While many of the people you meet will remain acquaintances, some will eventually become your friends. But how do you know the difference?
Let’s find out:
Table of Contents
- Friends have a relationship with you that is deeper and broader than an acquaintance
- Depth of sharing
- A friend is a person on whom you can confide for almost anything and everything
- An acquaintance is someone who is not a close friend and you do not see him or her much
- A friend is someone who’s there with you through thick and thin
- An acquaintance is someone you just met through an introduction
- Friends share a deeper connection
- An acquaintance is someone that you know of
- Depth of interactions
- Physical contact
- Their behavior around you
- Frequently Asked Questions
Erica McCurdy, CMC, YPF, PCC
Family Coach | Founder, McCurdy Solutions Group, LLC
Friends have a relationship with you that is deeper and broader than an acquaintance
Social media and the amount of time we spend at work can sometimes blur the lines, but there are some questions we can ask ourselves that can help us tell the difference:
- Do you think of your relationship in terms of keeping score? Acquaintances often have an imbalance in the relationship
- Would you apologize for or be worried about calling them on a weekend or late at night? Our friends are the ones we know we can call anytime when things go wrong and we need help.
- Do they reach out to you for the same kinds of things you reach out to them for? Acquaintances may be the result of a working relationship, proximity, or need creating an uneven relationship.
- Do they know the names of your family members, pets, etc.? While you may know a lot about the other person, in a friendship, the relationship is reciprocal and both of you are invested in each other’s lives.
- Would you be comfortable asking to borrow their car? Friendships are often defined by a willingness to share resources in times of need.
A lot of people end up getting their feelings hurt, have major falling outs in interpersonal situations, or even have employment problems because of problems over the difference between a friend and an acquaintance.
Sometimes this actually can be hard because the other party may be giving off mixed signals to you at various times in the relationship and you may not be sure of the status of the relationship.
It is important to gauge the nature of the relationship is based on a few important factors:
Depth of sharing
How much does each person share about their personal lives? Does the relationship remain fairly surface level or does it go deeper and you both share about your families, your childhood, and your feelings?
The other critical point here is that it should go both ways.
If only one person shares, this an unequal relationship, and one person is holding back and likely does not see you as a friend.
The relationship should be reciprocal. This means that there is a give and take. It may not always be equal. Nothing really is equal, even though we may want it to be.
But there is a degree of balance; such that one friend may treat the other to lunch or dinner and then the other will do so. A friend may surprise a friend with flowers one day and the other friend will do the same.
Whatever it may be, the point here is that no one in the relationship should feel they are being taken for granted.
Friendships take time to develop. There is a saying that friendships are like nice old trees that get watered. They get nurtured over time because friendship is founded upon respect, understanding, and communication.
Friendship does not happen overnight.
Whereas with an acquaintance, usually, you meet them a few times and since the relationship is not that deep, you can call someone an acquaintance fairly quickly and this relationship does not have to be tended to with as much care as a friend.
Dr. Chris Norris
Chartered Physiotherapist | Neurologist | Founder, Sleep Standards
There is a lot of difference between a friend and an acquaintance.
A friend is your buddy whom you can look up to in the time of difficulty but acquaintance is any person whom you just know or have met but do not know well.
An acquaintance differs from a friend in that the encounters are generally meaningless to one’s life and neither person may feel a sense of mutual affection.
One more important thing to note is that an acquaintance may hold qualities of a true friend but those qualities may not be appreciated by the person who labels them as an acquaintance.
A friend is a person on whom you can confide for almost anything and everything
These are the people with whom you share a strong bond of trust, mutual affection, selfless love, companionship typically one exclusive of family or sexual relations.
Friends often meet, speak to each other, and hang out with each other. They are available in times of crisis and help each other. They may be the people in your friend list on social media, people whom you talk to, and meet with frequently.
An acquaintance is someone who is not a close friend and you do not see him or her much
You do not share any strong bond or mutual affection with an acquaintance. People who are just an acquaintance do not meet, call, or interact frequently. They are not well known and hence are not obliged to help. They may be people at work or school and, friends of your friends
Certified Psychologist | Sleep Coach, Pillow Insider
A friend is someone who’s there with you through thick and thin
A friend would always respect and love you no matter what phase of life you are going through. Friends are sacred.
A friendship is a feeling; it’s a human experience, between two human beings and there is friendship when you both feel it. It’s not a parasocial relationship that celebrities experience, where one party knows more about the other.
An acquaintance is someone you just met through an introduction
An acquaintance doesn’t necessarily care about how you feel. It is just someone who you might have heard, met them, shaken their hand, or had a cup of coffee with. You don’t really have a connection where you can tell how trustworthy they are.
We call a lot of people friends who aren’t really our friends. If you have thousands of friends on Facebook, it doesn’t mean they are actually your friends. They might be nice people, you like them and you clearly share common interests but they are not your friends.
Trust is the number one thing that defines a genuine friendship.
It’s really hard to find good friends like that but when you do, make sure you value the friendship and be there for them whenever they need you.
When both people have the same feeling, then there is a real friendship. It’s gotta be mutual and it’s a feeling. And that’s why it’s hard because it requires two people.
Your friends are the people who will be there for you at the time of need no matter what. These are the people who you can be weak around.
Your friends are people who you can cry around and they won’t think any less of you. Your friends are the people who when they need something, you are always willing to go the extra mile to make sure they get what they want.
Your friends are people who you can trust implicitly with all your secrets, who know everything about you and you’re just fine with that and you don’t need to sign a confidentiality agreement no matter what you tell them, show them or share with them. Those are your friends where the trust is deep and implicit.
Certified Mental Health Consultant | Relationship Expert, Treeological
There is a familiarity, comfort, trust, and bond that comes with a friendship that is not expected with an acquaintance.
An acquaintance is one that you may see in a certain context, whether it’s at work or school, and have a friendly rapport with. However, you may not share the intimate details of your life with this person nor socialize with them outside of the particular context.
A friend is one you want to make an effort to see and interact with and to share feelings, activities, and opinions.
There are also different levels of friendships. Some friends you can share your most private thoughts, while others are more superficial. Both can be friendships, as they simply fulfill different needs and roles.
As human beings, we’re designed to be social creatures and we do that through the relationships we create whether they are with friends or acquaintances.
Lauran Hahn, LMHC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Mindful Living Counseling Services
What is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance?
An acquaintance is someone that you know of
You may share a similar common ground, as you went to the same high school, live in the same neighborhood, or both your kids play on the same soccer team. Some commonality has linked the two of you together and now you know of each other.
What has to change in order for the relationship to level up from acquaintance status to the friend zone?
There needs to be a bit more driving the relationship than the commonality that brought you together. Believe it or not, sparks need to fly. Yes, you heard me right. There needs to be something that sparks a connection and has you interested in getting to know the person a bit more.
This usually happens by realizing additional commonalities whether it is a complementary sense of humor, similar parenting styles, or a shared interest in Italian food, something propels your relationship to the next level.
In order to truly level up from acquaintance to friend, there needs to be a mutual interest in continuing this connection.
The relationship doesn’t really meet the definition of “friends” if one person continues to hold the other person in the acquaintance zone, while the other considers it a friendship. That just makes for an uncomfortable social encounter that has everyone feeling cringy.
Just because a person moves from acquaintance to friends, doesn’t mean it will last. There are a few more ingredients this relationship needs in order for it to be enduring.
Sustainability depends on mutual respect for the relationship which comes in the form of caring for each other.
This is cultivated through leaning on and being leaned upon in the relationship. This leads to trust and a sense of knowing the other will be there.
With continued nurturing, this relationship will likely level up again and move into the best friend zone.
Relationship Expert | Editor, Mantelligence
We spend our time with the same group of people. We spend time in the same shops, the same places. It would just make sense that everyone we spend every day is considered our friends. But, that is not the case.
Friendships are unique relationships.
Not everybody we spend time with is someone we’re comfortable being around. This is why it’s important to know the difference between a friend and an acquaintance.
A friend and an acquaintance differ from each other when it comes to the following:
A friend is a person that you may not be related to, but have a strong bond and deep trust with.
A friend is someone you have mutual affection with. An acquaintance, on the other hand, is someone you know. They are not close friends, but you know them. This means you have been introduced to each other in some way.
Depth of interactions
An acquaintance can be someone you spend every day with, but your interactions with them are shallow and superficial. A friend, however, is someone with whom you share a deeper level of communication.
They feel comfortable enough around you to have a deep level of interaction. They may even dare you to different things that acquaintances will not be able to do.
Your friends will be able to hug, or even kiss you. There’s more physical contact between you and your friends. Meanwhile, an acquaintance will act more distantly, physically speaking, because there is not enough comfort between the two of you.
Their behavior around you
This is especially true when they come to your place. When visiting you, an acquaintance will more likely be reserved and composed. They will follow all the “rules” you have set.
On the other hand, a friend will feel right at home with you. They will help themselves to whatever it is they need, but will still respect you as their friend.
It is not that hard to identify a friend from an acquaintance. You just need to look at who you have a more comfortable and deeper connection with.
Founder & CEO, Mavens & Moguls
A friend is someone you genuinely care about, share common interests with, and feel an emotional connection to.
There is a level of trust and familiarity and they have your best interest at heart. Friends want to spend time together and share emotions there is not a sense of obligation. There is physical contact among friends whereas acquaintances usually stay at a distance.
An acquaintance is more of a contextual relationship through work or having been introduced (formally or through mutual contacts).
The attitude is more polite and reserved than between friends who share a common past, bond, and level of intimacy.
Acquaintances can become a friend if you get to know each other better and discover shared interests and friends can become an acquaintance if the relationship sours.
Founder, Chipper Birds
We meet many people in our daily lives but there is only a handful that we get to choose and call friends.
I know a lot of people from work, school, and community but I only have a few to call as friends. Aside from my family, these people in my small circle are people I trust with my life.
An acquaintance is someone you know, name face and all but has yet to have a meaningful connection with you.
A friend, on the other hand, is someone you’ve shared different experiences with; good, bad, and everything in between. They’re the people you’ve celebrated milestones with and suffered losses with. They have always been there for you and stood by you even if you’ve made mistakes.
Friends are the people who encourage you to live a good life and become the best version of yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I make new friends as an adult?
Making new friends as an adult can be challenging, but with a little effort and initiative, it’s definitely possible. Start by seeking out activities and groups that align with your interests and values, whether that’s:
• joining a book club
• volunteering in your community
• taking a fitness class
This will help you meet new people who share your passions and values and give you the opportunity to share experiences and socialize.
It’s also important to be open and receptive to new connections, even if they’re outside your usual social circle. Make an effort to strike up conversations with the people you meet, and take the initiative to follow up and schedule a hangout or activity.
Finally, don’t be afraid to seek out professional support or resources if you’re struggling with loneliness or social anxiety. Therapists and counselors can provide guidance and strategies on how to make new friends and overcome social barriers.
Is it normal to have more acquaintances than friends?
Yes. Some people may have a large circle of close friends, while others may have only a few close friends and many more acquaintances.
There is no right or wrong number of friends to have as long as the relationships you have are positive and fulfilling. It’s also worth noting that the distinction between an acquaintance and a friend can be somewhat fluid and that the degree of closeness can vary depending on the situation.
How do I know if I’m being a good friend?
Being a good friend involves a variety of skills and qualities, including empathy, honesty, reliability, and good communication.
Some signs that you’re a good friend may include:
• Being there for your friends during difficult times
• Offering emotional support and a listening ear
• Being honest and upfront with your friends, even when things are difficult
• Keeping your commitments and being reliable
• Celebrating your friends’ successes and accomplishments
• Respecting your friends’ boundaries and preferences
• Showing appreciation and gratitude for your friends
Remember, being a good friend is an ongoing process that requires effort and commitment. It’s also important to be understanding and forgiving when your friends fall short, as we all make mistakes from time to time.
Can a friendship become toxic?
Yes, friendships can become toxic if they involve unhealthy patterns of behavior, such as manipulation, control, or emotional abuse. Signs of a toxic friendship may include:
• Feeling drained or exhausted after spending time with the person
• Feeling like you’re constantly walking on eggshells or being criticized
• Feeling that you aren’t being heard or understood
• Being pressured to engage in activities or behaviors that make you feel uncomfortable
• Feeling that you can’t express your true feelings or opinions
• Feeling that the relationship is one-sided or unbalanced
If you’re experiencing any of these signs in a friendship, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship and think about setting boundaries or ending the friendship altogether.
Remember that it’s important to prioritize your own well-being and mental health, even if that means letting go of a friendship that no longer serves you.
Can a friendship survive the distance?
Yes, friendships can definitely survive the distance. It may be more challenging to maintain a close relationship when you aren’t in close proximity, but with some effort and commitment, it’s certainly possible.
Technology has made it easier than ever to stay in touch with friends from afar, whether it’s through video chats, messaging apps, or social media. Make sure you meet up with your long-distance friends regularly and find creative ways to create shared experiences and memories despite the physical distance.
It’s also important that you’re understanding and flexible when it comes to maintaining long-distance friendships. Life circumstances and time zone differences may make it difficult to stay in touch as frequently as you’d like.
That’s why it’s important to be patient and understanding when your friend can’t answer or schedule a call right away. Appreciation and gratitude for your friendship and your friend’s efforts to stay in touch can go a long way toward maintaining a positive and fulfilling long-distance friendship.
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