We know that there are different kinds and levels of attraction and that it can shift or transform in an instant.
The crazy part is, you can be attracted to multiple people but in totally different ways. So, how do you know if you genuinely like someone in a romantic way?
Let’s find out:
Michelle Fraley, MA, WPCC
Certified Life Coach | Relationship and Dating Expert | Professional Matchmaker |
Founder, Spark Matchmaking & Relationship Coaching, LLC
Here are some of my thoughts on ways you know that you like someone romantically.
If you find yourself inching closer, leaning your body towards them while in a conversation and placing your possessions (like your drink or phone) in their physical space you may be catching feelings. Craving and creating physical closeness is a good indication of romantic interest.
Of course, one step close in proximity is the actual touch. Do you make an effort to touch them? Do you brush up against them or go out of your way to touch their arm or hand when talking? If you answered yes, you are probably having romantic feelings.
Eye contact can say a lot about how someone is feeling. Eye contact is an intimate and vulnerable act, so intense eye contact can be very meaningful. Deep eye contact or holding someone’s gaze for at least 4 seconds may indicate romantic feelings.
Love often brings with it tunnel vision. Do you ignore other stimuli and focus exclusively on them when you’re together? Do you avoid multitasking, scanning the room or checking your phone in their company?
When someone has your full and undivided attention, that can certainly indicate that you are having romantic feelings.
Founder, Dating Scout
Their words attract you
You know you’re romantically attracted to someone when they’re opinions and ideas matter to you. Not only that, but you also laugh out loud to the corniest of jokes they may crack. You’re not sure why, but hanging on to their every word, joke, and passing comment is effortless.
You feel happy even when you are not doing anything
You know you have something special when you aren’t doing anything special yet you find yourself enjoying the heck out of their company. You just are inexplicably happy when you are with them. Even without the fireworks, you are looking forward to spending your time together.
You find yourself smiling whenever he/she comes across your mind
Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming about that person? You unconsciously smile because of the nice thoughts you have about him or her, or perhaps a scenario of the two of you together. Well, deny no more, because you surely like that person.
You acknowledge their flaws, but choose to accept it anyway
You will know that your feelings of love and romance are genuine if you are not blinded by their flaws. Instead, you choose to understand and accept these as a part of their individuality.
If you can tolerate their flaws, understand and accept that you can’t force change to that person immediately, it’s a telltale sign that you like someone romantically.
Meredith Prescott, LCSW
Psychotherapist, Alyson Cohen Therapy
In my practice, dating and relationships are hot topics that clients often discuss and want to work through. It is beneficial to understand my clients’ views of intimacy and sexuality in their relationship in order to help them determine if this relationship can be romantic.
In therapy, we work together to help clients better understand their romantic feelings around an individual, such as, “do I like him/her or just the idea of them?”
It is important to grasp what each individual is looking for in a romantic relationship, so they have the opportunity to grow and implement meaningful change.
Sometimes I ask these questions below to my clients to get a sense of how they are feeling about the person they are seeing.
- Do you feel a physical attraction to this person?
- Do you want to see them again and/or are you look forward to making plans?
- Do you feel like you want to get to know them better and develop a deeper connection?
- How do you connect with him/her emotionally?
- Do you feel safe enough to share intimate feelings?
If an individual says yes to these questions, it is probable that he/she likes this person on a romantic level.
It is also promising if you feel like you can be yourself with someone and be comfortable being vulnerable. Furthermore, if you enjoy spending time with someone despite your feelings around their appearance- that can also be a great sign! Attraction can build with time and this is key as a relationship develops.
Relationship Coach, The Big Fling
There are many things that may demonstrate romantic feelings towards another person. In my professional opinion, the following are the most important. My answers are brief, but I’d be more than happy to expand on anything if necessary!
You feel ‘high’ around the person
When we develop romantic feelings for someone, their very presence can cause our body to physiologically respond. People also describe the feeling as ‘having butterflies.’ These butterflies are actually a combination of dopamine, sexual arousal, and norepinephrine.
Dopamine occurs when something desirable is in view and activates the pleasure center, sexual arousal causes feelings of lust as well as an accelerated heart-rate, and norepinephrine causes intense focus or obsession.
You want a physical connection in a non-sexual way too
When people experience feelings of romance, they often feel as if they can’t get enough of the other person. Physical closeness (sexual or otherwise) is a way of allowing someone’s romantic interest to fill them up as much as possible. Desire for that beyond the bedroom indicates a strong emotional bond.
You can’t stop showing the person off or talking about him/her
Not only does this indicate that you can’t stop thinking of your romantic interest, but it also alludes to the fact that you want him/her to enter into all realms of your life.
It simultaneously indicates the desired ownership of that person in a romantic way, as if you are seeking family/friend’s approval for what is already a part of you and your future.
You fantasize about a future with that person
If you find yourself fantasizing about someone in future hypothetical situations as you’re significant other, you can guarantee that you have romantic feelings. This is not a sexual fantasy, but rather one of having a family or getting married.
The fantasies can also be as simple as snuggling or bringing that person to a family dinner. It’s your mind’s way of testing or preparing yourself for the future you want with that person. It also feels nice to imagine!
A healthy attraction is when thinking of someone literally lifts your spirits and being with them fills you with the breath of life
Every other area of your life is enhanced because you are more you. They see the best in you and you see the best in them.
An unhealthy romantic attraction is when you get obsessed with someone. Other areas of your life suffer, you stop hanging out with your friends or going to the gym. You may stalk them on social media. You get jealous if they talk to other people. You need their approval in order to feel enough.
Relationship Expert | Blogger, Truth Finder
It’s in the eyes
There’s a reason we call the eyes ‘a window to the soul.’ When we like someone, we can disguise our body language but our eyes automatically react to physical attraction by dilating.
The “love hormones”, oxytocin and dopamine, are involuntarily released when we’re attracted to someone and this causes the pupils to dilate. These are also the hormones that are released when someone takes recreational drugs, which explains why we feel “addicted” to some people.
Do you feel nervous and “tingly” around someone? The attraction also stimulates adrenaline and norepinephrine, which is why you can feel anxious when in the company of someone you’re romantically interested in.
Are you friends or something more? If you’re unsure how you feel about someone, pay attention to how you feel about the idea of them dating someone else. Feeling anxious or jealous is a clear indicator that you’re harboring romantic feelings about them.
You just know
If you like someone romantically, you’ll feel it. From the butterflies in your stomach to sweaty palms — there are both chemical and emotional responses in the brain and the body that make it pretty easy to tell if you’re interested.
If you have to hunt for signs that you want to pursue someone romantically, you probably aren’t that interested.
Related: Physiological Signs of a Crush
Writer, Expert Insurance Reviews
A sure sign that your friendship may be turning romantic is physical desires
Do you want to hold their hand? Do you want to lean your head on their shoulders when you sit together? Do you want to kiss them? Those physical desires are a sure sign that your relationship may not be platonic.
There is more to it than only physical, though. If that person is the first one you think about when something funny happens if they’re the one you want to spend all your time with, if they’re filling all your thoughts, it’s time to face the reality that it might be more than just a typical friendship.
If you’re still on the fence, here’s a way to know for sure. Do you feel “butterflies” when you know you’ll see them?? If so, you are romantically interested – for sure!