How to Be Happy and Enjoy Being Single (According to 9 Experts)

Are you happy being single? Or do you feel like you’re missing out on something? If you’re not sure how to answer those questions, don’t worry – you’re not alone.

It can be difficult to figure out how to be happy and appreciate being single, especially if all your close friends are in relationships. But it is possible!

According to experts, the following are ways to be happy and enjoy being single.

Colleen Wenner-Foy​, MA. LCMHC-S, LPC, MCAP​

Colleen Wenner-Foy

Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor | Founder and Clinical Director, New Heights Counseling and Consulting LLC

Immerse yourself in meaningful activities

Being single doesn’t imply being alone; you should involve yourself in meaningful activities. In doing so, you avoid feeling lonely or bored, which can lead to an unhealthy outlook on life.

Activities like volunteering, joining a club, or taking up a hobby are great ways of meeting new people and having fun simultaneously. Giving back to others is also an excellent way to feel fulfilled.

Related: How To Find A Hobby As An Adult (40+ Interesting Ideas)

Make self-care a priority

In a partnership, it’s easy to fall into old patterns, like eating poorly, exercising less, or neglecting your mental health. As a single person, you can focus more on these areas, which will help you be happier overall.

Make sure you care for yourself by getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising.

You’ll find that when you do this regularly, you won’t have as much energy to worry about those thoughts and situations that make you unhappy.

Set goals and pursue them with focus and determination

When you are single, there aren’t many things to hold you back from achieving your goals. Now may be the time to start thinking about what you want.

Related: What Are the Benefits of Being Single?

Identify what you want and where you want to go, and then go after it. Happiness comes when we have a clear vision of our future and know exactly how to get there.

Be willing to take risks

If you don’t try new things now, you’ll never know if they work for you.

Taking risks; while you’re single allows you to explore different options without worrying about commitments. It will enable you to experiment and see what works best for you.

Don’t let fear stop you from living your life

When you’re single, you have no one to answer to but yourself. This means you can live your life however you choose, even if it isn’t always the most conventional path.

Don’t let fear stop you. Being unconventional is often what makes us happiest.

Related: 40+ Top Fears That Hold People Back in Life (And What to Do About It)

Treena Orchard, Ph.D.

Treena Orchard

Associate Professor | Sexuality and Dating Researcher

Be yourself and engage in the self-care labor

How to be single and happy, when phrased as a question, gives the impression that it’s something that is challenging to do or to be.

For decades among women, in particular, our social validation and happiness were tied to our marital status. To be single past a certain age meant that we had somehow failed or were ‘over the hill’ or a ‘spinster.’

Related: How to Stop Seeking Validation From Others (60+ Expert Ways)

These associations often had a sexual characterization to them, and being single past 30, back in the day, meant we were asexual or, even worse, a dried-up crone. Thankfully these stigmatizing labels are being lifted in our more fluid, inclusive society where women of all ages are finding joy and freedom in their singlehood.

Does this mean that we’ve stopped being obsessed with single women, especially those of a particular age? Sadly, no.

This was painfully evident in a recent interview Howard Stern did with Drew Barrymore, in which he highlighted her lack of what he called a successful relationship and pressed her, while shaking his head from side to side, about why she struggles in this area.

This is a distasteful example of the lingering stigma associated with being single among women, but the backlash against Stern was fierce and empowered.

That response exemplified the shifts currently taking place in our society, where women are resisting these outdated and sexist categories.

How to be single and be happy? Be yourself and engage in the self-care labors and loves that are required to know who you are and how you want to live your life.

Life is too short for old-fashioned labels and the tiny boxes society is used to putting us in. Live big, embrace your weirdness, and find out who you are!

Ravit Rose

Ravit Rose

Divorce Coach and Mentor, Divorce by Rose

Your attention should be future-focused

When a person is in a post-divorce situation, it is very hard to find happiness and understanding, realizing that what you had is “lost.”

The common thought is that it’ll be “hard or impossible” to reproduce what they had. This is a reality that scares many people. But it’s a false reality and a misleading thought.

As a Divorce Coach and Mentor, I remind parents that even though they know divorce is never going to give them the same kind of life or lifestyle that they had before, divorce does provide you with a once-in-a-lifetime golden opportunity to rebuild and restructure your life the way you want it to be.

The reason you got divorced is that things were broken. Things were not working, and things had to change. So now you must take this time to focus more on what you do want rather than fixate on the negative of what you lost.

When you do that, you start to get excited about your life. You start to feel invigorated and find yourself saying, “OK, I’m going to start dancing again,” or “I used to do yoga, I used to play guitar, but I stopped because I didn’t have time and now I’m looking forward to getting back into it.”

You start to get excited about your hobbies and desires— and that makes you happy, joyful, and smiling again as you reignite that old part of yourself that got lost along the way that you want to bring back into your life.

So rather than focusing on yesterday and on what happened or what should have or could have happened differently, your attention should be future-focused. This way, you get more and more excited about what could be — this is what invigorates the good feelings!

Another common reason why divorcees cannot find happiness is that many of them fixate on the “stories” between the two of them.

Such that every time something uncomfortable happens, people have the tendency to repeat the story with the theme of “do you know what he did?” or “you can’t believe what she said.” This forces the person to relive the past and always think about it. Therefore, it does not open the doorway for happiness to enter.

Furthermore, this reshare of the same story turns into a gossip column where all this person is looking to do, is get as much empathy as they can from everyone around whose willing to listen and provide the level of sympathy and commentaries that support a common negative thought like:

  • “He’s such a schmuck!”
  • “She is such a loser.”
  • “I can’t believe he did this to you!”

On a deeper level, this unhealthy conversation clearly demonstrates that this person will not be able to find happiness as they find comfort in living in yesterday’s reality.

From my experience, the only way to get out of this unhappy and unhealthy mess is to change the old narrative and rely on your loved ones to help you think positively while you reframe your negative thoughts and actions with the help of a neutral professional.

Related: How to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts?

That would be the ideal starting point on how to actually enjoy being single to the point where you get to be the best version of yourself in your new life regardless of the circumstances that cross your path daily.

Dr. Lanae St. John, DHS, CSC, ACS

Lanae St. John

Board-certified Sexologist | Founder, The MamaSutra | Author, “Read Me: A Parental Primer for ‘The Talk

Being happy and enjoying single life is possible. It just takes a bit of a mindset shift and intention on your part.

Here are some tips to get you started:

Embrace your single status

Don’t see being single as a negative thing. Instead, see it as an opportunity to focus on yourself and do what you want without having to consider someone else.

Spend time with family and friends

One of the great things about being single is that you have more time to spend with the people you love. Make sure to take advantage of this and spend time with family and friends doing things you enjoy.

Get out and do things

When you’re single, it’s an excellent opportunity to try new things and explore new hobbies or interests.

Get out there and go to a lecture, a museum, a play, a concert, etc. Google search to see what’s available in your area. You might be surprised at what you enjoy.

Stay positive

No one is happy all the time, but it’s essential to stay positive when you’re single. Don’t let minor setbacks or disappointments get you down, and focus on the good things in your life.

Be happy with who you are

One of the most important things when it comes to being happy and enjoying single life is being happy with who you are.

Don’t try to be someone you’re not — take note when you have an impulse to do this — do your best just to be yourself and enjoy your own company.

Aditya Kashyap Mishra

Aditya Kashyap Mishra

Relationship Expert, MoodFresher

There are many benefits to being single. For starters, you have more time for yourself. When you’re in a relationship, you have to juggle your partner’s needs and wants with your own. But when you’re single, you can focus on your own happiness.

You can also learn to be more independent. When you’re in a relationship, you often rely on your partner for emotional support. But when you’re single, you learn to rely on yourself. This can be a great strength.

Being single gives you the opportunity to meet new people and expand your social circle. When you’re in a relationship, you tend to socialize with the same group of people.

But when you’re single, you can meet new people and make new friends.

Here are some tips for how to be happy and enjoy being single:

Make time for yourself

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in the other person and neglect your own needs and interests. But when you’re single, you have all the time in the world to focus on yourself.

So make sure to schedule some “me time” into your week. Whether it’s taking a yoga class, going for a long walk, or simply taking a few minutes to read your favorite book, make time for activities that make you happy and help you relax.

Don’t compare yourself to others

It’s easy to look at other couples and think, “Why can’t I find someone?” But comparing yourself to others is a recipe for unhappiness.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, focus on what you do have. Appreciate the fact that you’re free to do whatever you want when you want.

And remember, just because someone is in a relationship doesn’t mean they’re happy. In fact, studies show that single people are actually happier than those who are married.

Surround yourself with positive people

One of the best things you can do for your happiness is to surround yourself with positive people.

Spend time with friends and family who make you laugh and make you feel good about yourself. Avoid people who are negative or who always seem to bring you down.

Do things that make you happy

Don’t wait for someone else to make you happy. Do things that make you happy, whether it’s taking a dance class, going on a trip, or simply indulging in your favorite guilty pleasure.

When you do things that make you happy, you’ll feel better about yourself and your life.

Be grateful for what you have

It’s easy to take things for granted when you have them. But when you’re single, you have the opportunity to appreciate all the good things in your life.

Be grateful for your friends, your family, your health, your job, and anything else that’s positive in your life. The more you focus on the positive, the happier you’ll be.

Sameera Sullivan

Sameera Sullivan

Relationship Expert, Sameera Sullivan Matchmakers

Put your self-care first

While there are many different methods to practice self-care, paying close attention to your diet, exercise, and meditation are all very valuable practices.

It’s also important to schedule daily time for oral and skin care as well as other enjoyable and calming pursuits.

Recognize your worth

Keep in mind that happiness doesn’t have to be based on other people or things. Good and healthy relationships are fantastic and enrich our lives, but this does not imply that our lives are incomplete in their absence of them.

Gaining perspective and navigating situations will be made easier when you recognize that you are a whole person whose self-esteem is derived from the things you do in life and how you help to make a difference for the greater good, not from any specific relationship in your life.

Daniel Conn

Daniel Conn

Founder, Relationship Advisers

Find something to keep yourself busy

If you’re sitting idle all day long, then it’s obvious that you’ll feel lonely and sad. In my experience of working as a relationship and lifestyle coach, this is perhaps the biggest reason why people are not able to enjoy and feel happy being single.

Go out and chill with your friends, meet new people, go to the gym and workout, join a class for something you always wanted to learn( dance, musical instruments, cooking, or anything else you like), travel, and see the world.

The point is you should not be sitting at home all day long thinking how being in a relationship will magically make you happy instead, do things that you actually enjoy doing and see that it’s possible to be happy without being in a relationship.

Your happiness shouldn’t be dependent on anyone else but you, you should learn to enjoy your own company and the best time to do that is when you are single.

This will not only keep you happy during the singlehood phase but will also help you grow as a person, which will certainly help you with your future relationships too.

Romita Bulchandani

Romita Bulchandani

Spiritual Life Coach | Founder, Glitter For The Soul

Take the time to get to know yourself and create your own identity

True love begins within you. Happiness can not exist without love. You can only love others as much as you love yourself. I taught myself how to master my soul. This meant taking the time to get to know myself and create my own identity.

This took time for me to figure out and navigate. Loving yourself isn’t a skill many of us are taught. We are taught to love, respect, and serve others. I grew up in a traditional Indian home.

Related: How to Love Yourself When You Don’t Know How

Getting married and having kids were in my life plan, according to my parents. I wanted true love, not an arranged marriage. I eventually married my work. My work was never loyal to me, but I kept going back.

I took the time I needed to heal my relationship with me. It was a lot of hard work, and I’m a whole person now because of it.

I’m 41, single, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I found love, and it lives within me. I’m intuned with how I want to be loved, and I know how to love the world around me. Love lives within me, and it feels like glitter running through my veins. I feel free and in love with life.

I love myself holistically. Nothing feels like a burden, or I’m up against a clock. I’m living my best life rooted in love and joy, and it’s amazing.

Being single is just a label society gives me. I’m not defined by this label anymore.

Klaus Gonche

Klaus Gonche

Real Estate Advisor, Compass

Focus on things to personally work on

After becoming single after such a long relationship, I naturally went through a period of not feeling too great until I decided it was time to correct that.

I quickly realized that it was time to become extremely self-aware and focus on the things that would lead me to where I would like to go with my life.

This changed my outlook from not feeling great about the breakup into an opportunity to better myself and work on the things that would make me a better person.

This gave me some things to work on personally (writing them down and actively working on them every day helps).

As progress started happening, it became awesome how quickly you become happier with yourself.

Fill the downtime where loneliness could creep in

Another thing that helped this process a lot was finding hobbies that you truly enjoy, getting around positive people, and filling the “downtime” where loneliness could quickly creep in.

For me, it became cycling, running with my dog, and making an effort to better relationships with friends and family.

The confidence from becoming better at physical activities was invigorating, and the better social part of bettering the relationships made for a super enjoyable couple of years.

Become comfortable with taking time on your own

The last and possibly most important thing I found was to become comfortable with taking time on your own and learning to enjoy the time with yourself.

Once you are able to do that, you will see how much better your social interactions become with others are. I took that time to work on and focus on all of these things actively.

In time I was able to meet someone with nothing holding me back from the past, being much more comfortable and confident with myself, which made for an amazing and healthy relationship which is evident wherever we are without even having to say anything.

Being single can be a time for awesome growth, which can lead to an amazing relationship. It just takes some active work on your own part.

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