Personal Growth | Self-Esteem

How to Carry Yourself With Confidence (31 Tips + Expert Insights)

By Jahrine Okutsu
Updated on

Confidence shapes how others see us and how we see ourselves. It influences our success in personal and professional life. But showing confidence doesn’t come naturally to everyone.

Here, I’ll walk you through easy tips to help you carry yourself with more confidence. These straightforward steps can boost your self-esteem and change how others see you. Curious to see how small changes can make a big impact? Keep reading to find out!

Believe in Yourself

Believing in yourself is the foundation of confidence. I mean, if you don’t believe in your abilities, who will, right?

This belief isn’t just about feeling you can do well; it’s about trusting your gut when making decisions, standing up for your beliefs, and pushing through fear and failure without losing your spark.

Here’s what this looks like in everyday life:

  • By setting and achieving small goals, you reinforce your belief in your capabilities.
  • Take feedback constructively, not personally, to grow and affirm your self-worth.

When you truly believe in yourself, this inner confidence naturally influences how you carry yourself—your posture straightens, your eyes sparkle with purpose, and your voice carries a firm, convincing tone. Remember, confidence starts from within!

Cultivate a Positive Mindset

To me, cultivating a positive mindset is all about focusing on the good in every situation—yes, even when things don’t go as planned. It involves replacing negative thoughts with more encouraging and affirming ones.

For instance, instead of thinking, “I can’t handle this,” tell yourself, “I’ll do the best I can.” This mindset helps maintain a high level of self-confidence by fostering a resilient spirit that faces challenges head-on.

A positive mindset not only builds your confidence but also attracts positivity from others. People are naturally drawn to those who emit a hopeful, spirited energy.

Practice Self-Care

Practicing self-care is my personal favorite because it’s about nurturing yourself both physically and mentally. Remember, a well-cared-for you can face challenges with more grit and grace.

Here are key aspects of self-care:

  • Get enough rest and eat healthily: Your physical health significantly affects your energy and mood.
  • Take breaks as needed, and don’t be afraid to say no to avoid overcommitting.

By investing in your well-being, you’re setting up a firm foundation for confidence. When you feel good, it’s easier to maintain a confident stance in all areas of life, making you ready to tackle any obstacles with a clear, focused mind.

Adopt a Growth Mindset

Embrace the belief that you can develop your skills and intelligence through effort and learning. When you make mistakes, see them as opportunities to grow rather than failures.

This attitude shifts your focus from worrying about how others see you to concentrating on your personal development.

A growth mindset encourages you to take on new challenges. Instead of avoiding tasks that seem difficult, you’ll feel inspired to tackle them head-on. This proactive approach not only builds your skills but also boosts your self-confidence as you see your progress over time.

Engage in Regular Exercise

Regular exercise isn’t just about keeping fit—it’s a powerful confidence builder. Seriously, have you ever noticed how good you feel after a workout? That’s not just the endorphins talking. Exercise improves your physical health, yes, but it also enhances your mental stamina.

Here’s what regular physical activity can do for you:

  • Boosts Energy Levels: More energy means tackling daily tasks with more vigor.
  • Improves Mood: A happier disposition can significantly bolster your social and professional interactions.

By making exercise a regular part of your life, you’re not just nurturing your body. You’re also sculpting a self-assured demeanor that says, “I am capable,” which others will notice and respond to positively.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

I mean, we all have that little voice in our heads that sometimes whispers, “you can’t do this” or “you’re not good enough.” But here’s the kicker – when you consciously challenge these negative thoughts, you take back control and boost your self-confidence.

This doesn’t mean rejecting any self-doubt outright but rather assessing and reframing these thoughts constructively.

Here’s what you might do:

  • Identify Triggers: Recognize situations in which negative thoughts usually occur and prepare rational responses.
  • Replace With Positive Narratives: For every negative thought, counter it with two positive affirmations related to your abilities and achievements.

Challenging negative thoughts stops them from undermining your confidence and helps cultivate an attitude that you are capable and worthy. This shifts not only how you see yourself but also influences how others perceive you.

Confidence, after all, starts from within, but its effects are seen outwardly.

Be Mindful of Body Language

Your body can communicate a lot about your feelings and attitudes. Stand tall with your shoulders back and keep your head up. This posture not only makes you appear more confident but also helps you feel more self-assured.

Additionally, use open gestures and avoid crossing your arms, which can seem defensive or closed off. Make sure to maintain comfortable eye contact when talking to others; this shows you are engaged and confident in the conversation.

These simple adjustments in body language can make a big difference in how you come across.

Keep a Calm and Composed Demeanor

Maintaining a calm and composed demeanor can sometimes be a real challenge, especially when the pressure is on. However, showing that you can remain unruffled in stressful situations is a key sign of confidence.

Here’s how I manage to keep my cool:

  • Taking deep, steady breaths not only helps calm the mind but also reduces physical symptoms of stress.
  • Avoid getting caught up in what might go wrong. Concentrate on what you can control right now.

By staying calm and composed, you not only feel more confident internally, but you also appear more authoritative and reliable to those around you.

Practice Mindfulness Techniques

Mindfulness is about staying present in the moment and being aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Regular practice of mindfulness can help reduce anxiety and increase your self-awareness, making you feel more in control.

Take a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness. Find a quiet spot, sit comfortably, and focus on your breathing. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring your focus back to your breath.

Over time, this practice can help you stay grounded and calm in various situations, making you carry yourself with more confidence.

Use Positive Affirmations

Using positive affirmations is like giving your mind a pep-talk. It might sound a bit silly at first, but trust me, regularly reinforcing your self-worth with affirmations can significantly impact your confidence levels.

Here’s how you can make them work for you:

Morning Motivation: Begin each day by affirming your intentions. Stand in front of the mirror and speak to yourself with conviction.

Here are a few affirmations you could use:

  • “I am confident and capable in all that I do.”
  • “I bring value with my ideas and my work.”
  • “Every day, I am improving in every way.”

Combat Self-Doubt: Each time a negative thought about your abilities surfaces, respond with a relevant positive affirmation.

For instance:

  • When you think, “I’m not good enough,” tell yourself, “I am more than enough and constantly growing.”
  • Feeling overwhelmed? Repeat, “I handle challenges with grace and ease.”

Nighttime Reflection: End your day with affirmations that focus on gratitude and success, such as:

  • “I am grateful for the progress I made today.”
  • “I am proud of myself for the efforts I put in and the resilience I showed.”

Positive affirmations help rewire your thought patterns, slowly replacing the ‘I can’t’ with ‘I can and I will.’ It’s a powerful tool to boost your internal dialogue, which is crucial for carrying yourself with unshakable confidence.

Prepare Thoroughly for Challenges

Whether it’s a big presentation at work, a social event, or a personal goal, being well-prepared helps you approach the situation with confidence. Make a checklist of things you need to do or know beforehand, and give yourself ample time to prepare.

When you’re well-prepared, it reduces uncertainty and allows you to focus on performing your best. This preparedness also shows in your demeanor; you’ll appear more composed and self-assured, which others will notice.

Stay Informed and Educated

Knowledge is empowering—it gives you the tools to contribute to conversations, make informed decisions, and handle various situations effectively. Take time to read, learn new skills, and stay updated on topics that interest you.

Engage in activities that expand your knowledge, such as attending workshops, reading books, or taking online courses.

When you are well-informed, you’re more likely to speak with confidence and assertiveness because you know what you’re talking about. This not only boosts your self-confidence but also earns you respect from others.

Be Genuine and Authentic

Being genuine and authentic is vital for building true confidence. When you are honest about who you are and what you believe, you naturally exude confidence.

People can sense when someone is being real versus putting on a facade. Authenticity builds trust and helps you form meaningful connections with others.

Don’t be afraid to share your true thoughts and feelings. Embrace your unique qualities and let them shine through in your interactions. By staying true to yourself, you’ll feel more comfortable and confident, and others will appreciate your sincerity.

Learn the Art of Conversation

Mastering conversation is a key skill in displaying confidence. Engaging effectively with others not only makes you more likable but also shows you’re comfortable in your own skin.

Here are a few pointers:

  • Ask Open-Ended Questions: This encourages a deeper dialogue and shows genuine interest in others’ thoughts and feelings.
  • Listen Actively: Sometimes, we forget that listening is as important as speaking. Show that you value others’ input by really listening to what they have to say.

Becoming a skilled conversationalist involves practice and mindfulness. It’s about finding a balance between expressing your thoughts and being receptive to others. This balance is crucial in fostering both personal and professional relationships.

Speak Clearly and Confidently

When you speak, take your time to articulate your words and think about what you want to say. Avoid mumbling or speaking too quickly, as this can make you appear unsure of yourself.

Practice makes perfect. Try speaking in front of a mirror or recording yourself to identify areas for improvement. Pay attention to your volume and tone, ensuring your voice is strong but not overpowering.

Clear and confident speech shows that you are self-assured and competent, making a positive impression on others.

Practice Strategic Communications

Strategic communication is more than just talking; it’s about conveying your message in the most effective way possible. This means being deliberate about what you say and how you say it to match your goals and the situation.

Here’s what this could look like:

  • Before any important conversation or meeting, outline the key messages you want to convey. This helps keep your communication clear and purpose-driven.
  • Consider the listener’s perspective and tailor your message accordingly. This shows empathy and enhances understanding.

Effective strategic communication boosts your confidence by ensuring you are understood and respected in your interactions. It’s a skill that, once honed, can significantly influence your personal and professional success.

Develop a Strong Handshake

Developing a strong handshake can make a lasting first impression. A good handshake is firm but not too strong and lasts for about two to three seconds. It’s a simple gesture but says a lot about your confidence and professionalism.

Practice your handshake with friends or family to ensure it feels natural and confident. Pair it with a warm smile and good eye contact to leave a positive impression. A strong handshake can set the tone for a confident and successful interaction.

Maintain Eye Contact

When you look someone in the eye, it shows that you are engaged and secure in what you are saying. It also helps you establish a connection with the person you’re speaking to.

Try to maintain eye contact for about 60-70% of the conversation. Too little can make you seem unsure, while too much can be intimidating.

Balance is key. If direct eye contact feels challenging, try looking at the person’s forehead or between their eyes—it has the same effect but can feel less intense.

Listen Actively

Active listening is essential in showing respect and confidence in interactions. It’s easy to get distracted and think about your response while someone is talking, but true confidence comes from being able to focus on others, understand their perspective, and respond thoughtfully.

Here’s how to hone this skill:

  • Nod your head, make small verbal confirmations like “I see,” or “Interesting,” and reflect back what you’ve heard to show you are engaged and understand.
  • Wait for the other person to finish their thoughts before responding. This shows respect and allows you to form better responses.

Practicing active listening not only helps in building stronger connections but also boosts your confidence by making you a better communicator. When people feel heard, they are more likely to respect and listen to you in return.

Set and Achieve Personal Goals

Start by identifying what you want to accomplish. Break these goals down into smaller, manageable steps and create a plan to achieve them. Make sure your goals are realistic and specific.

As you complete each step, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment that boosts your confidence. Keep track of your progress and celebrate your successes, no matter how small.

This process of setting and reaching goals helps you realize your potential and carry yourself with greater assurance in future endeavors.

Celebrate Your Achievements

Take the time to acknowledge your hard work and successes. Whether it’s completing a project, reaching a personal milestone, or overcoming a challenge, recognizing your accomplishments reinforces your self-worth.

You don’t need to throw a big party; simple gestures like treating yourself to something you enjoy or sharing your achievement with a friend can be enough. Celebrating your achievements helps you stay motivated and reminds you of what you’re capable of, further boosting your confidence.

Embrace Your Unique Qualities

Embracing your unique qualities is about recognizing and valuing the things that make you different. Often, these are the attributes that give you an edge in various aspects of life.

Here’s how you can start appreciating and using your uniqueness to boost your confidence:

  • Identify Your Strengths: Take time to reflect on what you do best and what sets you apart from others. Maybe it’s your creative thinking, your sense of humor, or your ability to connect with people.
  • Leverage Your Traits: Use your unique traits as assets. If you’re a great listener, use that skill to build deeper relationships, or if your creativity is a strength, apply it to solve problems at work or at home.

When you start seeing your unique traits as strengths rather than differences to be hidden, you naturally carry yourself with more confidence. It allows you to be authentic and assertive in expressing who you are.

Learn to Say No

Learning to say no is a powerful aspect of developing confidence. It shows you value your time and priorities, and it’s crucial for maintaining your mental health and productivity. 

You don’t have to agree to everything people ask of you. It’s okay to say no when something doesn’t align with your values or when you feel overwhelmed. This helps you protect your time and energy for things that truly matter to you.

Practice saying no in a clear and respectful way. For example, “I appreciate the offer, but I’m unable to commit to that right now.” By saying no when necessary, you show others that you value your time and well-being, which reinforces your confidence.

Let Go of Concern for Others’ Opinions

Worrying less about what others think is integral to carrying yourself with confidence. It’s about trusting your judgment and making decisions based on what’s best for you, not based on how others might perceive you.

Here’s how to ease the weight of external opinions:

  • Identify Whose Opinions Matter: It’s normal to care about the perspectives of those close to you, but not every opinion should weigh the same.
  • Trust Your Instincts: More often than not, your gut will guide you correctly. When making decisions, consider advice but rely on your judgment and comfort.

Letting go isn’t about disregarding all external input, but about not letting fear of judgment control your actions. This shift can liberate and empower you to live more authentically and confidently, ensuring that you’re living for yourself, not for the approval of others.

Focus on Your Strengths and Acknowledge Your Weaknesses

Focusing on your strengths while acknowledging your weaknesses is a balanced approach to building confidence. Start by making a list of your strengths—skills, qualities, and talents that make you feel proud.

Use these strengths to your advantage in different situations to showcase your competence.

At the same time, be honest about your weaknesses. Knowing your areas for improvement allows you to work on them without letting them undermine your confidence.

Everyone has weaknesses, and accepting them as part of who you are shows maturity and self-awareness. This self-acceptance leads to a stronger, more confident presence.

Embrace and Learn from Failures

No one likes to fail, but embracing failures as learning opportunities is a profound step toward building lasting confidence.

When you learn to view setbacks as essential parts of the learning process, you mitigate the fear of failure, which often holds us back from trying new things.

Reflect on Lessons Learned: After a setback, ask yourself, “What can this teach me?” Such reflections can transform perceived failures into stepping stones.

Share Your Experience: Sometimes, discussing your failures with others can provide insights and emotional relief. It shows resilience and courage, traits that naturally enhance confidence.

Remember, every successful person has a history of failures behind them. It’s not the mistakes that define us, but how we respond to them.

Practice Good Posture

Practicing good posture can significantly impact how confident you feel and appear. Stand tall with your shoulders back and your head held high. Good posture not only helps prevent physical discomfort but also sends a strong, confident message to those around you.

When you sit, keep your back straight and avoid slouching. Whether standing or sitting, good posture can help you feel more alert and engaged, which boosts your self-confidence. Making a habit of maintaining good posture ensures that you always present yourself in the best light.

Dress to Impress Yourself

The clothes you wear and how you present yourself can dramatically affect your self-perception and, consequently, your confidence.

Dressing to impress yourself isn’t about vanity; it’s about choosing outfits that make you feel good and convey the image you want to project to the world.

Take time to pick out clothes that reflect your personal style and are appropriate for your daily activities. Invest in pieces that fit well, as comfort can significantly boost your confidence levels.

When you dress in a way that feels authentically you, it boosts your self-esteem and empowers you to navigate your day with confidence. It’s not just about looking good for others but feeling good in your own skin.

Walk with Purpose

When you walk, keep your head up, shoulders back, and take steady, deliberate steps. This kind of walk shows you know where you’re going and that you’re confident in getting there.

Practicing this habit in your daily life can help you feel more determined and assertive. Whether you’re heading to a meeting or just walking down the street, moving with purpose makes you stand out as someone who is self-assured and confident.

Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

 Spend time with people who uplift and encourage you. Positive relationships can boost your self-esteem and give you the support needed to pursue your goals confidently.

On the other hand, try to minimize interactions with those who constantly bring negativity. Their influence can undermine your confidence. Creating a supportive, positive social circle helps reinforce your self-belief and makes it easier to carry yourself with assurance.

Be Proactive and Prepared

Take the initiative to plan ahead and anticipate challenges. Whether it’s preparing for a meeting, a social event, or a personal project, being ready helps you feel more in control and less anxious.

Create a checklist or set up a schedule to organize your tasks. This way, you won’t be caught off guard, and you’ll be able to handle situations more smoothly. Proactivity ensures you are always a step ahead, contributing to a more confident you.

Excerpts From the Experts

To build confidence in interacting with other people, such as social events, focus on building skills such as setting boundaries and managing relationships.  

Here are four tips for setting boundaries:

  • Define your boundaries and stick to them.
  • Know your limits and values— what are you willing to compromise or not compromise on?
  • Be assertive — ask for what you want.
  • Learn to say “no” (Hint, it’s okay to say no! Saying no means you are saying yes to you). 

Here are four tips for a good and healthy relationship with anyone:

  • Know what you want and ask for it.
  • Observe or find out what the other person wants.
  • Negotiate and compromise so you can both get some of what each of you wants.

Give what you can regarding what the other person wants, but remember your boundaries and stay true to yourself.

— Christine Errico, PhD | Confidence and Transformation Coach

If all else fails, it’s okay to fake it till you make it.

Even if you don’t feel particularly confident in a situation, try your best to act as you do. Put on a brave face and focus on the positives; this will help boost your actual confidence over time until it becomes something that comes naturally.

Remember, having confidence doesn’t mean being perfect; it simply means having faith in yourself and believing that you can handle whatever life throws at you.

— Ketan Parmar, MD, MBBS, DPM | Counseling Psychologist | Psychiatrist and Mental Health Expert, ClinicSpots

Confident people know their boundaries. They don’t over-promise, under-deliver, or allow guilt to lead. They understand life has nuances. They are all in on their commitments and cannot be swayed by FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) in regards to their no. Because of this, they are proactively communicative if plans have changed.

— Kyme Dang | Certified Health, Life, and Spiritual Coach | Founder, Collective Healing San Diego

Here are a few speaking solutions that will easily build confident communication and a confident stride and stance:

  • Identify and write out your talking points for the upcoming meeting. Let’s say that it will be an interview.
  • Next, rank orders your talking points in order of importance.
  • Edit talking points to just the essential words. This should be no more than three sentences.
  • Speak your talking points out loud and listen to the tone of your voice. How does it sound? Confident or uncertain? If confident, great.

If uncertain, try this:

  • Stand up, and reach out your arm while holding your talking points (on a piece of paper, not on your phone).
  • Next, lift your arm up about five inches.
  • Now, repeat your talking points while standing.
  • Practice several times.

When we have to ‘reach’ a bit with our voices, we automatically sound more confident. When we are looking down at a piece of paper, the energy in our voice is usually not as dynamic. Practice again and listen for a confident tone.

— Nola Beldegreen | Executive Coach

Confidence is eight parts body language and two parts communication. Humans are ultimately social creatures. We all learn conscious and subconscious strategies for reading other people from a young age. 

Confidence is purely about expression and assertion and comes naturally to some of us while requiring practice from others. 

To appear more confident:

  • Take up space.
  • Make a giant ‘X’ with your body before an important meeting or presentation.
  • Pose like Wonder Woman.

We must embody confidence physically to both feel and appear confident. Keep your chin up, watch your spinal posture, and be mindful of where your hands go when you’re talking to someone. 

— Jason Panzer | President, HexClad

Frequently Asked Questions 

Why am I unconfident?

There are various reasons why you might be feeling unconfident.

Some of the common factors include:

• Past experiences: Negative experiences, such as failure or rejection, can negatively impact your self-esteem and make it difficult to feel confident in similar situations moving forward.

• Fear of judgment: Worrying about what others think of you can hold you back from expressing yourself and taking risks, leading to feelings of insecurity.

• Perfectionism: Setting unrealistic standards for yourself can lead to a constant sense of inadequacy, as you may feel like you’re never good enough.

• Lack of self-awareness: Not fully understanding your strengths and weaknesses can make it difficult to build self-confidence, as you may not know where to focus your efforts for improvement.

• Social comparison: Constantly comparing yourself to others can erode your self-confidence, especially if you perceive them as more successful, attractive, or talented than you.

Is confidence attractive?

Yes, confidence is indeed attractive. When you display confidence, it signals to others that you believe in your abilities, value yourself, and can handle various situations effectively.

This magnetic quality draws people towards you, as they tend to feel more at ease in your presence. Furthermore, confident individuals often radiate positive energy, naturally appealing to others.

What sets confidence and arrogance apart?

Confidence and arrogance may seem similar at times, but they are quite different.

Confidence is characterized by healthy self-esteem and a belief in one’s abilities without undermining others. It is often accompanied by humility and openness to learning. 

On the other hand, arrogance is an exaggerated sense of self-importance, often manifesting as a belief that one is superior to others.

Arrogant individuals tend to be dismissive, condescending and lack empathy, which can hinder the development of genuine connections.

What are some common misconceptions about confidence?

There are several misconceptions about confidence, including:

• Confidence is innate: While some individuals may be naturally more confident, confidence can be cultivated and developed over time through practice and self-improvement.

• Confidence means never feeling fear or doubt: In reality, confident people also experience fear and self-doubt. The difference is that they acknowledge these feelings and choose to act despite them, relying on their abilities to handle challenges.

• Confidence equates to extroversion: Confidence can be displayed by both introverts and extroverts. While extroverts might express their confidence in more outgoing ways, introverts can also demonstrate quiet confidence through their demeanor and actions.

• Confident people never fail: Everyone experiences failure at some point. Confident individuals understand that failure is a part of growth and learning, and they use these experiences to build resilience and improve themselves.

• Confidence is synonymous with arrogance: As discussed earlier, confidence is rooted in self-belief and humility, while arrogance is an overinflated sense of self-worth and superiority. These qualities are distinct and should not be confused with one another.

Final Thoughts

I hope these strategies inspire you to start making those small, meaningful changes in your daily life. Confidence is a skill that you can develop with practice and persistence. Why not start today and see where a more confident you can take you?

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

As you found this post useful...

Share it on social media!

We are sorry that this post was not useful for you!

Let us improve this post!

Tell us how we can improve this post?

Share this article
CopyPinterestFlipboardLinkedInPrint
Photo of author

Jahrine Okutsu

Jahrine Okutsu believes that words are powerful tools for connecting people. Driven by this conviction, she earned a degree in Communication and now applies this principle daily in her role as a committed writer and editor.

In her downtime, she finds delight in the simple pleasures of life—watching movies, playing horror games, and sipping on a warm cup of coffee. She sometimes gets lost in daydreams, letting her imagination wander, while at other times, she finds focus and peace through spiritual practices. Her dog, Zoey, brings an extra layer of joy and fulfillment to her life.