How to Deal With Know It Alls (18 Ways + Expert Insights)

Dealing with a know-it-all can be tricky. They seem to have an answer for everything, often leaving little room for others to speak up.

But here’s the thing: dealing with a know-it-all doesn’t have to be a battle of wits. This article is going to give you simple strategies to handle these situations with grace.

So, what’s the secret to keeping your cool and the conversation on track when you’re up against the endless stream of “did-you-knows”? Stick around, and we’ll crack the code together.

Maintain Respectful Dialogue

When you’re talking with someone who seems to know it all, it’s easy to feel a bit overwhelmed. But here’s what works: keep things respectful; it smooths things out and makes both of you feel valued.

Think of it this way—you’re passing the conversation ball back and forth, not trying to score a point. It’s all about exchanging ideas without stepping on each other’s toes.

Keeping it respectful doesn’t mean you agree with everything they say. It means you value healthy conversations where everyone gets a chance to speak. It makes interactions more pleasant and productive.

"Being a pretentious 'Know It All' is a very narrow-minded place to exist, and it demonstrates their inflexibility and sheltered world. This is THEIR problem, not yours, so treat them respectfully, despite how they approach you, and as you listen to their perspective, work their view of the world and limitations into your conversation."

— Anne Corley Baum | President, Vision Accomplished

Think First Before Responding

It’s tempting to immediately counter a know-it-all to prove your point, but taking a moment to think before responding can be more effective. This pause allows you to gather your thoughts and deliver a well-considered reply.

This habit does more than temper the flow of the conversation. It communicates that you value thoughtful dialogue and are considering all aspects carefully.

"I quickly run the following flowchart in my mind to determine how I should proceed. Start with me: Do I have a blind spot this person is pointing out, and I'm reacting emotionally by thinking they are a know-it-all when in fact, I should be listening and absorbing their advice?"

— Matthew Turner | Founder, Boston Turner Group

Stay Calm and Composed

Meeting a know-it-all can really test your patience. But trust me, staying calm is your best move. When they expect you to jump into debate mode, remaining cool can be quite the curveball.

Here are some ways how:

If you’re getting wound up, stop.
Take those deep breaths. No rush.
Then, when it’s your turn, speak your mind without the steam.

So, if things heat up, just think of chilling on a calm beach. Keep your cool to handle your emotions and keep the talk on track.

Show Genuine Interest

Believe it or not, showing real interest in what a person has to say can make things smoother. When someone’s used to dominating the conversation, genuinely asking them to explain their thoughts can make them slow down a bit.

You can drop a simple “Wow, that’s interesting. Can you tell me more?” and watch their eyes light up! It’s like giving them the stage, and often, they’ll start to speak more thoughtfully.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

When someone knows a lot, or at least thinks they do, tossing yes or no questions won’t do much. You want to ask questions that get them thinking and sharing more than just facts.

Try asking things like:

“How did you come across that idea?”
“What got you interested in this topic?”
“How did you come to that conclusion?”

This way, you’re not just getting a lecture but turning it into a real conversation. It shows you’re interested and also gently challenges them to explain their thoughts.

"Insecure people often take comments as criticism and become even more defensive, but open questions allow a less threatening way of exploring options. I'll ask them to provide alternate solutions or explanations to open the conversation up without making it seem like I'm criticizing them or ignoring their input."

— Matthew Turner | Founder, Boston Turner Group

Practice Active Listening

Active listening is an art, especially when talking to someone who could speak for hours. It’s about making them feel heard and understood without sacrificing a two-way dialogue.

Give them your full attention—nod, react, and maybe even take notes if it’s serious stuff. You can even keep the questions rolling to show interest and take the conversation deeper. This can make them more receptive to listening when it’s your turn to speak, paving the way for a more balanced conversation.

"When faced with someone who is arrogant and pretentious, someone who uses their 'Know IT All' behavior to talk down to you, listen carefully to what they are saying, and do your best not to be offended by their pompous attitude."

— Anne Corley Baum | President, Vision Accomplished

Provide Constructive Feedback

Now, this one needs a touch of finesse. If there’s a need to correct a know-it-all or add your own idea, frame it in a way that’s helpful, not dismissive.

Keep these in mind:

Be clear and say what’s working and what could be better.
Sandwich the tough stuff with positives. “You’ve made a good point about…”
Wrap up with a bit more good stuff. “It’s always interesting to hear your take on things.”

Remember, feedback isn’t just about pointing out what’s wrong. It’s about suggesting ways to make ideas even better. Everyone, even know-it-alls, can appreciate good, clear suggestions when kindly offered.

Seek Common Ground

When you’re chatting with someone who seems to have an answer for everything, finding common ground can really turn down the heat. Look for areas where your opinions overlap. Maybe you both agree on the outcome, just not on how to get there.

You can say, “It sounds like we both want the best result, let’s see how we can get there together.”

This is about recognizing that you both share some similar values or goals, and that can be the foundation for a more cooperative interaction. It makes the conversation less about winning and more about finding a solution together.

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Redirect the Conversation

If you find yourself stuck in a conversation loop or drifting into irrelevant areas with a know-it-all, it’s helpful to skillfully steer things back to the main issues. This simple technique isn’t about cutting them off; it’s about keeping the discussion focused and relevant.

Here’s what you can do:

If they’ve been on one subject for a while, bring up a fresh one.
If you’re both into a hobby or a TV series, use that.
You can also toss in something you need advice on.

It’s more like suggesting a new route when the conversation hits a dead end.

Set Clear Boundaries

It’s important to know when to draw the line in discussions. If the conversation is spinning its wheels or becoming more argumentative than informative, it’s okay to set limits. You might calmly assert, “Let’s pause here for now. We can think more about it and talk again later.”

Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining a healthy interaction. Think of it as pressing the “reset” button to refresh the discussion at a later time when both sides might see things more clearly.

Choose Your Battles Wisely

Sometimes, it’s wiser to let some things slide. If a topic isn’t crucial, why not just nod and move on? This way, you keep the peace where possible and save your energy for more important issues where you really need to make your stand.

Here’s a way to figure it out:

If it’s a big deal and really matters, it’s worth speaking up.
If it’s a small thing, maybe let it slide. Save your energy.
Ask yourself: “Will this matter next week? Next month?”

"As counterintuitive as it might seem, letting a 'know it all' have the last word is the easiest way to deal with them. You aren't going to convince them that they are wrong (remember it is unconscious). Instead, most people will benefit from letting it go and minimizing their interaction with this type of individual."

— Dr. Hans Watson | Psychiatrist, University Elite PLLC

Be Armed with Your Facts

When you’re up against someone who’s all about facts, facts, and more facts, it helps to have your own toolkit ready. Having your own set of facts ready builds your credibility and politely challenges the accuracy of the know-it-all’s assertions.

Here’s what to pack in your conversational toolbox:

Review key topics beforehand to strengthen your confidence in the discussion.
Cite specific sources to substantiate your claims—facts carry more weight with reference.
Be updated with recent developments to ensure your points are fresh and relevant.

It helps level the playing field and can even lead to more balanced and fact-driven discussions.

Stay Confident in Your Knowledge

It’s crucial to hold onto your confidence—believe in what you know. This means you value your own knowledge just as much. When you present your ideas confidently, even the most assertive personalities might take a moment to listen.

Reflect on what you know and why it matters. Stand by your points with clarity and confidence when you contribute to the conversation. This confidence doesn’t mean you shove your ideas forward, but rather, you calmly share your views when they are relevant.

Highlight Others’ Expertise

When a know-it-all dominates the conversation, it’s important to bring in other voices. A simple method to balance the dialogue is to point out the expertise around the room.

Here’s what that might look like:

Give credit where it’s due: “You made a great point there, and I think [another person’s name] also has some expertise in this field.”
Encourage sharing: “I remember you mentioned something related last week. Would you mind elaborating?”
Celebrate all contributions: “Each of us seems to have a piece of the puzzle. It’s impressive how we each bring something unique to the table.”

These small actions serve as subtle reminders that everyone in the room has valuable insights to offer. It supports a more inclusive and collaborative environment.

"With people who are more closed off and dislike ambiguity, I thank them for their input and make it clear that I will be seeking a lot of input from others on the team as well."

— Matthew Turner | Founder, Boston Turner Group

Lead by Example

Leading by example is like being the captain of a ship. When a know-it-all is in full swing, how you respond can set the tone for the whole group. It’s about modeling the behavior you’d like to see, guiding the energy of the conversation toward something positive and inclusive.

Here’s how you can sail that ship:

Show respect. This means listening intently, acknowledging good points, and responding with courtesy.
Value everyone’s time. Make sure to share the spotlight and encourage others to give their input.
Stay composed. Even if others get heated, a cool head can turn the tide.

Seek Support When Needed

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a know-it-all can continue to disrupt harmony. If it feels like you’re not making headway and their behavior starts affecting the group’s vibe or work progress, it might be time to call in some backup.

Consider reaching out to supervisors or HR at work, teachers or counselors at school, and professional coaches or counselors if needed.

Reaching out for support not only assists in managing the situation but also brings a level of neutrality and authority that might be necessary for resolution.

Understand Their Perspective and Motivations

Getting to know why a know-it-all acts the way they do can really change the game in how you deal with them. Often, their behavior is driven by a need for validation or insecurity. With this perspective, your approach can be more empathetic and strategic.

You might handle interactions with a soft touch, acknowledging their knowledge while subtly guiding the conversation toward inclusivity. For example, “Wow, you’ve really done your homework on this! I’m impressed. What do you think about getting some other perspectives, too?”

Focusing on their strengths and gently integrating other viewpoints can help create a more balanced and respectful dialogue.

"Seek to understand them. When we understand them, we put ourselves in a position to intentionally respond to them as opposed to our natural inclination, which is to instinctively react."

— Ryan Gottfredson, PhD| Mental Success Coach | Author, "Success Mindsets: Your Keys To Unlocking Greater Success In Your Life, Work, & Leadership"

Stand Your Ground

When interacting with a know-it-all, it’s crucial to stand your ground and not let them completely dominate the conversation. Maintain your confidence and firmly stand by your insights or decisions.

Here’s a friendly reminder of what to do:

Keep steady. If what you know holds up, say it like it is: “Based on what I’ve learned…”
Be clear, not pushy. “My understanding is different, and here’s why…”
Stay polite. Even when you’re firm, you can be friendly.

Your knowledge has weight, too, so let it anchor the conversation where needed.

More Expert Insights

“Help them understand that there are two limitations to this assumption:

1. Having all the answers does not always lead to a positive image (particularly if it leads somebody to be close-minded and less than humble).

2. Believing one does not have all the answers generally leads to one developing a more positive image. This is because when we believe that we do not have all the answers, we seek to find the truth and think optimally. In the process of doing so, we invite the perspective and feedback of others. And, when we invite the perspective and feedback of others, they respect us more because we value them more.”

— Ryan Gottfredson, PhD| Mental Success Coach | Author, “Success Mindsets: Your Keys To Unlocking Greater Success In Your Life, Work, & Leadership“

“People who are emotionally fragile generally have such a poor opinion of themselves that they unconsciously fear that others will see their flaws and form a negative opinion that is consistent with their own. So their unconscious defense is to become a know-it-all or one upper.”

— Dr. Hans Watson | Psychiatrist, University Elite PLLC

“Keep in mind that this ‘I’m Better Than You’ attitude did not develop because of you; it developed over many years in the environment in which the person was raised and lives.”

— Anne Corley Baum | President, Vision Accomplished

“The raw energy the KIA will put into making you wrong will exhaust your physical and mental energy. The only thing one can do is to quietly ask questions of the KIA’s opinions or actions of both the KIA and those around the KIA.”

— L. Burke Files, CACM DDP | President, Financial Examinations & Evaluations, Inc.

“It is very important not to allow any form of threat to be deduced from your response because that may just encourage them to argue their point further. You can respond without inciting them by speaking from your own experience. This works because they can’t outrightly deny what you’ve heard or what you think even if they don’t agree with it.”

— Manny Hernandez | CEO and Co-Founder, Wealth Growth Wisdom

Frequently Asked Questions

Can a know-it-all change their behavior?

While you can’t force change, you can influence it by setting a good example. Foster an environment that values humility and learning from one another. When know-it-alls see that others appreciate open-mindedness, they may start to reflect on their own behavior.

What if I am accused of being a know-it-all?

– Reflect on the feedback thoughtfully.

– Consider if there are elements of truth to the accusations and seek to understand how others might perceive your behavior.

– Engage in conversations with an open mind and be willing to learn from others.

Are there any benefits to having a know-it-all on a team?

Yes, know-it-alls often have a wealth of knowledge and can be highly driven. When their energy is channeled appropriately, they can contribute significantly to a team’s success.

How do I prepare myself mentally before interacting with a know-it-all?

Preparing mentally before engaging with a know-it-all can help you handle the interaction with composure and effectiveness. Here are some ways to gear up internally:

Reflect on previous interactions: Consider what has been effective in past discussions.

Set goals: Determine the desired outcome of the conversation.
Rehearse responses: Think about how to address potential points of contention calmly.

Practice patience: Remind yourself to approach the conversation with understanding.

Affirm your knowledge: Acknowledge that your own expertise and perspectives are valuable.

How can cultural differences impact dealing with a know-it-all?

Cultural backgrounds can influence how people perceive authority and assertiveness. Being sensitive to these differences can help tailor your approach, ensuring that it is respectful and effective given the cultural context.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with a know-it-all isn’t just about keeping the peace. It’s also an opportunity for us to grow in patience and understanding.

Using the techniques we’ve explored, try to see each encounter as a chance to sharpen your communication skills and possibly help a know-it-all see the value in others’ viewpoints.

Remember, staying calm, listening actively, and choosing your battles wisely can transform challenging interactions into learning moments for everyone involved. Who knows? You might just be the influence a know-it-all needs to start appreciating the wisdom around them.

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