How to Fix a Relationship That’s Falling Apart (With Expert Insights)

I’ve been in the relationship game for a while now, and let me tell you, it’s not always a walk in the park. When things start to go south with your partner, it can be really tough to figure out how to get back on track.

But don’t give up yet. With a little bit of effort, a lot of love, and some effective strategies, you can totally turn things around.

If you’re willing to try, then keep reading. Your relationship is worth fighting for, and I’m here to help you do just that!

Attend Couples Therapy Together

Going to couples therapy means getting help from an expert to fix your relationship issues. It’s where you both can talk freely about what’s bothering you, with a therapist there to guide you.

They can spot problems you might not see and show you how to deal with them as a team. It’s not about blaming each other but about learning to work together better. Even if things aren’t super bad, therapy can prevent small issues from becoming big ones.

"Most of the time, though, couples therapy needs to be part of the equation for a relationship standing at the edge... Couples therapy can help you identify problems in your dynamic and help you learn how to communicate more respectfully so that you can focus on enjoying each other's company rather than ongoing hurtful destructiveness."

— Dr. Patricia Celan | Psychiatry Resident, Dalhousie University

Listen Carefully To Each Other

Listening carefully to each other is key in a shaky relationship. It means paying full attention and understanding what your partner says, not just planning your next words.

Real listening shows them that what they’re saying matters to you a lot.

You have to focus — like no texting or thinking about other things while they’re talking. When you listen well, it shows you care and helps sort out misunderstandings.

Focus on One Problem at a Time

Tackling one problem at a time stops things from getting too overwhelming. It’s like dealing with what’s most important right now and not getting lost in too many issues. This way, you can find a fix or a middle ground without the stress of everything else.

It’s important to keep things simple and not try to sort out everything at once. By fixing one thing before moving on to the next, you avoid a big mess.

Say “Thank You” Every Day

Saying “thank you” every day is about noticing the small, good things your partner does. It’s an easy way to show you don’t take them for granted.

Feeling appreciated can make a huge difference in how you both feel about each other. These two words can make your partner’s day brighter.

"I would recommend that each morning for 10 days they share with each other what they are grateful for about their partner."

— Madeleine Mason Roantree | Dating Coach | Director of Relationship Psychology Services, The Vida Consultancy

Make Time for Date Nights

Date nights are a must-do to keep the spark alive. It’s hard to remember you’re a couple when life’s hustle and bustle get in the way.

Date nights remind you why you fell for each other in the first place. It’s a break from the routine, a time just for you two. Investing time in your relationship shows you care about keeping it healthy.

Talk About Your Day Every Evening

Chatting about your day is a chance to connect and share the little details of your lives. It helps you stay in sync and understand what each other is going through.

Whether it’s a tough day at work or a funny moment, sharing it makes you feel closer. It’s also a time to wind down together and just be with each other. This daily catch-up can become something you both cherish in your routine.

Set Clear Personal Limits

Setting clear personal limits is about knowing where you draw the line. It tells your partner what’s okay and what’s not for you.

When both people know these limits, it stops a lot of arguments before they start. It’s a way to respect each other and protect your own peace of mind. Being honest about your limits helps everyone feel secure.

Say “Sorry” When You Mess Up

Saying sorry when you mess up is about taking responsibility for your actions. It’s not just the words — you’ve got to mean it.

An apology can start to fix things when you’ve hurt your partner. It shows you care about their feelings and are willing to make things right.

Let’s say you forgot to attend an important event your partner was looking forward to. A simple, “I’m really sorry for missing your event, I know it was important to you, and I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again,” shows that you care.

Let Go of Grudges

Letting go of grudges is like cleaning out all the old junk that’s cluttering your heart. Holding on to anger just keeps the bad feelings alive.

When you let go, you’re not saying what happened is okay; you’re saying you’re not going to let it control you anymore. It’s freeing for both of you. It’s tough, but it’s like a weight lifting off your shoulders.

Talk About Your Hopes and Dreams

Talking about your hopes and dreams is sharing the big picture of what you want in life. It helps you both understand each other’s wishes and directions.

When you talk about dreams, you grow together and help each other aim higher. It’s like opening a book of possibilities for you both.

• Share even the wild dreams — they count, too!
• Listen to their dreams with an open heart and mind.
• Dreaming together can be a lot of fun, and who knows, some dreams might come true.

Cheer On Each Other’s Goals

Cheering on each other’s goals means being your partner’s biggest fan. It’s showing them you believe in their abilities and their plans. When you’re supportive, it’s like you’re on the same team, scoring points together.

For instance, your partner just got a promotion, and you organize a small party to celebrate this milestone. You toast, “Here’s to your hard work and what’s yet to come!”

Be Polite, Even When You Don’t Agree

Being polite even when you don’t see eye to eye is all about respect. It keeps things cool instead of letting them heat up into a full-blown argument.

Even during tough talks, using kind words can take the edge off. It’s not about who’s right or wrong; it’s about discussing it respectfully. And you’d be surprised how much easier it is to sort things out when you’re both calm.

Understand What Makes Each Other Feel Loved

Understanding what makes each other feel loved is about knowing what actions make your partner happy. It could be doing little things for them, spending quality time, or just being there to chat.

Knowing this means you can show love in a way that they really get. When you use that knowledge, it makes the love between you both just click.

Example: You learn that your partner feels loved with words of affirmation, so you start leaving little notes of appreciation for them to find. They love it, and you can tell because each note gets its own special spot on the fridge.

"I would encourage each person to write a note to the other, letting them know what it is about them they really like, what made them feel attracted to them in the first place, and how they knew that they wanted to be in a relationship."

— Madeleine Mason Roantree | Dating Coach | Director of Relationship Psychology Services, The Vida Consultancy

Be Warm and Cuddly Often

Being warm and cuddly often is like giving your relationship a cozy blanket. A hug, a gentle touch, or just sitting close can speak volumes. It’s a silent way of saying, “I’m here for you,” without any words needed.

This kind of physical closeness can make you both feel secure and connected. It’s a small gesture that can warm up the whole day for both of you.

Fix Problems When They Pop Up

Addressing problems as soon as they arise prevents them from growing into bigger issues that are harder to solve. It’s about not letting the sun set on your anger, so to speak.

This proactive approach keeps your relationship healthy and resilient, as both partners learn to tackle challenges head-on without festering resentment.

"Action is what really turns relationships around and grows them into something that brings joy. Action is what shows we are serious about our words."

— Trevor Dahle | Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist | Clinical Director, Zion Hills Academy

Own Up to Your Blunders

Owning up to your blunders means admitting when you’ve made a mistake. It’s not easy to say, “I messed up,” but it’s honest and shows you’re responsible.

When you take blame for your own slip-ups, it can help heal any hurt you’ve caused. It also sets a good example and encourages your partner to do the same. This kind of honesty builds trust and shows that you care about the relationship’s health.

"Acknowledge that there are issues that are bigger than the problem at hand... This step is about learning to take responsibility for our behavior and owning our reactions to things."

— Laura Glenney, MSc, RP, RMFT | Registered Psychotherapist | Marriage and Family Therapist, Journey Well

Try to See Things Their Way

Trying to see things their way is about stepping into your partner’s shoes. It helps you to understand their point of view, even if it’s different from yours.

This doesn’t mean you have to agree, but it does mean you’re trying to get where they’re coming from. It can reduce fights and make your partner feel respected and heard.

"It is possible to understand someone without agreeing with them. Some people seem to think understanding means agreement so they almost actively avoid understanding. It is good to keep in mind that you can understand your partner’s perspective even if you disagree with it or it doesn’t fit for you."

— Mark E Sharp, Ph.D. | Clinical Psychologist, Aiki Relationships

Make Each Other’s Feelings a Priority

Making each other’s feelings a priority is about putting your partner’s emotions first sometimes. It means showing them that how they feel is important to you.

Doing this helps them feel valued and loved, which is the core of any good relationship. It’s not just about your own needs and wants; it’s about both of you.

"The way to fix a relationship that is falling apart is for each person to learn how to value themselves and take responsibility for their own feelings... It’s the sharing of love that creates a loving relationship."

— Dr. Margaret Paul | Psychologist | Author | Relationship Expert | Co-creator, Inner Bonding

Pick Up a Shared Hobby

Starting a shared hobby means doing something fun together that you both enjoy. It can be anything from cooking to hiking — whatever makes you both happy.

When you spend time doing a hobby together, it can make your bond stronger. It’s like having an inside joke that only you two get.

Do Something New Together

Doing something new together shakes up the routine and adds a bit of adventure. It could be as simple as trying a new restaurant or as crazy as skydiving. This kind of change sparks excitement and creates new memories.

It’s like pressing the refresh button on your relationship. Plus, it gives you something cool to talk about.

"Show your partner your feelings through long walks, over intimate dinners, handwritten notes, new activities that interest you."

— Leslie Montanile | Divorce Attorney

Take a Short Trip on the Weekend

Taking a short trip on the weekend is like a mini-vacation for your relationship. It can be as simple as a staycation in a nearby city or a campout in the woods.

Getting away from everyday life helps you both relax and reconnect. It’s like hitting pause on your chores and to-do lists. When you’re back, you both have that refreshed, post-vacation glow.

Celebrate the Little Wins as a Team

It’s about appreciating the effort, no matter how minor the success might seem. This practice helps build a culture of support and mutual respect between partners.

When you celebrate together, it reinforces the idea that you’re in this as a team, facing ups and downs side by side. Moreover, it shifts your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right, which is crucial in times of relationship trouble.

Example: Your partner finally completes a small personal project they’ve been putting off. You pop a little confetti and say, “Look at you, knocking things off your list like a champ!”

Help Out on Projects You Both Like

Working together on projects you both enjoy can deepen your bond and provide a sense of shared purpose. It’s a productive way to spend time together while achieving something that improves your shared life.

Example: You decide to repaint your living room together. As you both choose colors and paint, you find yourselves laughing over the occasional paint splatter and sharing ideas on the new look.

Keep a Diary of the Good Stuff

Maintaining a diary filled with positive experiences in your relationship can serve as a wonderful reminder of the good times you’ve shared. This diary can be particularly valuable during rough patches when it’s all too easy to focus only on the negatives.

Logging the joyful moments is a great way to keep the morale up and remind each other of the lovely journey you’re on together.

Sometimes, Check If You’re Both Still Happy

Checking if you’re both still happy is like taking your relationship’s temperature. It involves sitting down and having an honest chat about how things are going.

Doing this every now and then helps you catch and fix problems early. It stops you from just going through the motions and reminds you to focus on being a happy couple. And hey, if one of you isn’t happy, it’s the first step to making things better.

Keep Promising to Stick Together

Promising to stick together is like renewing your vow to be teammates in life. It’s about reassuring each other that you’re in this for the long haul.

This promise is a reminder that no matter what comes your way, you won’t give up on each other. It creates a sense of security and shows commitment.

Keep Going, Especially When It’s Tough

Keeping going, especially when it’s tough, means facing those rough patches together and not walking away.

Pushing through hard times can sometimes make your relationship stronger. It’s proof that you both have what it takes to last. And when you come out the other side, you can be proud of what you’ve overcome together.

Example: You’re both stressed and snapping at each other, but instead of calling it quits, you take a walk, hold hands, and talk it out. You end up understanding each other better and feeling ready to tackle the next challenge together.

Do Routine Relationship Check-Ins

Doing routine relationship check-ins is like giving your car a regular oil change — it keeps things running smoothly.

Set aside time to sit down and talk about what’s working and what’s not. This isn’t about pointing fingers but about finding ways to improve your partnership.

Build a Dream Board for Your Future Together

Building a dream board for your future together allows you to visualize your shared goals and dreams. It’s a creative and fun way to get excited about your life together.

Seeing your dreams in pictures and words can be inspiring. It gives you something to aim for as a team. A dream board keeps you both motivated and working toward common goals.

Learn About Being a Great Partner

Learning about being a great partner is like picking up new skills for your most important job. It doesn’t mean you’re not already good; it’s about wanting to be even better. You can:

• Read books.
• Listen to podcasts.
• Even take workshops on relationships.

It shows you’re willing to invest time and effort into being the best you can be for each other. And the more you learn, the stronger your relationship can become.

Work Through Money Matters Together

Working through money matters together means tackling finances as a team. It’s about being open with each other about money, which can be a tricky topic.

When you both know what’s going on with your cash, it’s easier to plan and avoid stress. Making decisions together on spending and saving can actually bring you closer. And hey, no more surprises when the credit card bill hits the mailbox!

Hang Out with Common Friends

Hanging out with common friends is a great way to mix up your social life together. It’s about enjoying time with people who get both of you. These shared friendships can strengthen your bond and add some laughter to your life.

Example: You invite a few friends over for a game night, and everyone has a blast. It reminds you of how much fun you can have just chilling with the crew and your better half.

Balance Time Together and Apart

Balancing time together and apart means enjoying each other’s company but also doing your own thing.

Having some me-time is healthy for you and the relationship. It’s like taking a little breather, so you’re not stepping on each other’s toes all the time. When you come back together, you have more to share, and the time feels special.

"You should make sure you have time for you, your partner has time for them, and that you have your time together. When you have weak boundaries and your partner has strong ones, that is when conflict arises."

— Tom Marino | Certified Life Coach and Founder, Monarch Life Coaching, LLC

Talk and Agree on What’s Okay in the Bedroom

Talking and agreeing on what’s okay in the bedroom is about feeling comfortable with each other. It means having honest chats about what you both like and don’t like.

Getting on the same page can make your time together more enjoyable and special. It shows you care about each other’s comfort and happiness.

Lift Each Other Up With Kind Words

Lifting each other up with kind words is like giving your partner a boost when they need it. It’s about saying nice things that make them feel good about themselves.

Your partner feels nervous about a new job, and you tell them how smart and capable they are. Hearing your supportive words helps to ease their nerves and boost their confidence.

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Frequently Asked Questions

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Final Thoughts

Now, you can see that fixing a relationship that’s falling apart is definitely possible. The strategies we’ve talked about in this article are a great starting point, but remember that every relationship is unique. What works for one couple might not work for another, and that’s okay. It’s up to you to apply them in a way that makes sense for your relationship.

The most important thing is to keep showing up for each other. Communicate honestly, make time for one another, and choose your relationship every day. It may not be easy, but believe me, it’s worth it. You can do this!