Are you trying to change things about yourself but feel that something is holding you back? Maybe your job or career? Perhaps, your weight or physical appearance?
The first rule of flying is to start from the ground level.
Things that don’t allow you to change, keep you under your ground level. Most times that happens when you have unfinished business with your past (actions, behaviors, who you were, dreams you gave up on, mistakes you made, and so on.)
Here you have five steps to take to Forgive Yourself and then start flying and create the life you want:
How to Forgive Yourself: 5 Steps to Self Forgiveness
Step 1. Acknowledge your mistakes
You want to be right each time when you take a decision or an action. Is it not?
We all do. However, it happens to make mistakes because you are human. As long as you don’t recognize your mistakes, you are fighting a losing war.
Acknowledge your mistakes, not with the aim to beat up or punish yourself, but to know what you must face.
Stay focused on what is important, your purpose and put aside your vanity.
Step 2. Be compassionate
Once you acknowledge your mistakes, have compassion for yourself. Know that you have done the best you knew how at the time.
Judging your former self with the insights and knowledge you have today is unfair.
Offering yourself compassion is not giving you excuses. It’s clearing your mind and soul of negative emotions toward self so that you can, once again start with a clean (blank) canvas.
Give yourself a moment of peace and understanding.
Step 3. Accept yourself as you are
Discover who you are and accept yourself as you are.
Low self-esteem is unnatural because you’ve been put on Earth to like and appreciate yourself; and by doing so, accomplish many amazing things for the benefit of others and yours.
There are many reasons why you might not like yourself. However, know that most of those reasons are “mind-made” and not “action-made”.
Feel that you’re enough because that helps you discover and then explore new horizons, conquer old fears, overcome obstacles and become the very best you.
Step 4. Make a plan for correcting your mistake
Look forward not backward. What is done, it’s done. Stop blaming yourself; there is no problem in this world that has no solution.
Self-forgiveness needs to be substantiated by action. Before forgiving yourself, you need to know that:
- You have apologized (to yourself or others) and presented how you intend to correct your mistakes
- You have learned from the past
- You will be wiser next time
- You have a clear path to take to solve the situation or issue
- You have given your best to put right your mistakes (to yourself or others)
Step 5. Put your action plan into practice
You see? It is hard, if not impossible, to forgive yourself if you hold the fear that you haven’t changed; that you are not willing to keep your word and follow through with your promise to be/ do better.
Yes, you’ll make mistakes again because that is life: you try, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but today you win! It is like cleaning your shoes on a rainy day; maybe they get dirty again, but you started this day clean and proud.
Now, do you see that’s the right time to forgive yourself? Forgive yourself for the things you have lost. Don’t keep yourself a prisoner of the past.
Society today tends to ask you to criticize and punish yourself. Yet, Your Future asks you to treat yourself with compassion, forgiveness, and respect. Why? Because that is the way you’ll ever see and live that future you dream; that is the way you’ll lead that life you want.
Listen, self-forgiveness is something that You Give Yourself. It’s not a gift from someone else. It’s not a gift that you must deserve by being perfect. You’ll never be perfect. None of us are! But, forgiving yourself is the perfect way to move forward.
Forgive yourself for the opportunities you have missed and create new opportunities. Forgive yourself for letting yourself down and give a hug to your soul. Forgive yourself for not being in the right place at the right time, you have taken what it seemed to be the best decision at the time. Forgive yourself even for things you haven’t done yet, but you know might happen, and you can’t control.
Forgive yourself and move forward from the ground level. Nothing is holding you back, and nothing stays in your way. Unlock the shackles of the past and build the life you want and desire.
Your life belongs to you, and it is in your hands to make it special, happy, enjoyable and fulfilled.