How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out (29 Ways)

You look around, noticing couples everywhere, and there’s this thought, “Why not me?” Well, it’s your turn now, and it’s not as tough as it looks. I’m talking about those small things you can do to make a huge difference in landing that date with your crush.

So, are you curious? Keep reading because I’ve got the low-down on making him realize that his next coffee or smoothie date should definitely be with you!

Be Yourself Around Him

Getting a guy to ask you out starts with being real. He should like you for who you are, not someone you’re pretending to be.

So, don’t be shy about your love for comic books or your knack for baking the best cookies in town. It’s the real you that will catch his interest. When you’re yourself, both of you can relax and see if there’s a true spark.

"Don’t flirt. A girl may look nice if she doesn't flirt. Showing some signs of interest is okay but flirting is different. Flirting may lead to disappointment and the guy might ignore you. Act normal and just be natural."

Stephan Jacob | Founder and Editor, BestForAndroid

Smile and Make Eye Contact

When you want to get a guy’s attention, a smile goes a long way. It’s like a silent hello and shows you’re friendly and open to talking.

Eye contact is the same; it’s a signal that says you’re interested. Both are simple but powerful ways to show you’re into him.

Strike Up a Conversation

Okay, you’ve got this. Let’s talk about starting a convo. Just find something simple to chat about, like “How’s your day going?” or “This weather, right?” You’re not giving a speech, just sparking a light and fun exchange. Keep it cool and the convo will grow from there.

Example: Say, “I can never decide what to order here. What’s your go-to snack?” A simple question like this can kick off a nice chat.

Show Interest in His Hobbies

Hobbies are a big deal; they’re things we love doing. When you chat with him about what he enjoys, it shows you care about who he is.

It’s also a great way to find out what you both like — maybe you both love old-school video games!

Try this: Next time you see him, just say, “I saw that photo of the model plane you built; that’s pretty cool. How’d you get into that?”

Ask for His Help or Opinion

Everyone likes to feel needed, and asking a guy for help is a smart way to show you value his knowledge.

No need to play damsel in distress, just a simple request for advice on something he’s good at will do the trick. It’s a great way to make him feel good and show that you trust his judgment.

Example: “Hey, you’re really good with tech. My laptop’s been acting up, any idea why?” He’ll appreciate being your go-to guy.

Compliment Him Genuinely

A real compliment can make someone’s day. It’s about noticing the small things, like his new haircut or how he always remembers people’s names.

Point out what you admire in him, but keep it truthful and simple.

For instance, the next time he tells a joke, laugh and mention, “You always know how to make people smile, huh?”

Remember Small Details About Him

When you remember something small about him, like his favorite band or how he takes his coffee, it shows you’re really listening. It’s about making him feel special and valued.

Let’s face it: we all like to know someone’s paying attention to us. Plus, bringing up those little details later can be a super sweet surprise for him.

When you next meet up, casually mention, “Didn’t you say you love mint chocolate chip ice cream? Let’s grab some!”

Have Engaging Conversations

Talking is the key to getting to know each other better. You want to talk about stuff that keeps both of you interested — maybe it’s a movie you both saw or funny things that happened at school or work.

  • Don’t panic if there’s a silent moment; it happens, and it’s okay.
  • Toss in fun questions that get him thinking and sharing.
  • Stay in the moment — don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

Find Shared Interests

Finding things you both like can turn “just friends” into “let’s hang out” pretty quick. It’s about connecting over the things you both enjoy. And when you find those shared interests, making plans together becomes a piece of cake.

If you both love hiking, just say, “I heard about this great trail. Want to check it out together sometime?”

Make Plans to Hang Out as Friends

Starting off as friends is a low-key way to hang out without the pressure of a date. Suggest doing something chill, like grabbing a coffee or checking out a local event. It’s about having fun and getting to know each other.

When you hang out as pals, there’s no stress — just good times. And during these hangouts, he can see how awesome you are.

Share Your Passions With Him

When you talk about things you love, your face lights up, and it’s contagious. You might love painting, playing guitar, or running marathons — whatever it is, share that with him. Your excitement about your passions can spark his interest in you.

You can try saying, “I spent my weekend at a pottery class and made this cool vase. I’ll bring it next time to show you.”

Show That You’re Supportive

Everyone wants to feel supported, especially by someone they might date. If he’s got a big game or a work presentation, wish him luck or ask how it went. This shows that what’s important to him is important to you, too.

Being supportive also means being a good listener, giving him a high-five when he succeeds, and just being there.

Give Him Your Full Attention

When you’re talking to him, show him he’s got your full attention. This means:

  • Putting away your phone.
  • Listening closely.
  • Engaging with what he’s saying.

It’s about being in the here and now with him, not half-listening while your mind is elsewhere. When someone feels heard and seen, it’s a big deal, and it makes them feel important.

Offer Sincere Praise for His Achievements

Everyone likes a little applause now and then. When he does something cool or achieves something, let him know you’re impressed. This isn’t about going over the top but giving him a thumbs up for his hard work.

Your praise should be real and about things you genuinely think are awesome. It’s a way to connect and show him you’re on his side.

Create Inside Jokes Together

Laughter brings people together like nothing else.

If you two find something funny and it becomes your little joke, that’s special. It’s an inside joke just for the two of you, a small shared secret that can make even the driest moment a bit of fun. It’s a sign you’re both on the same wavelength.

Show Interest in His Opinion on Various Topics

Guys like it when you ask what they think about stuff — it could be music, news, or even space travel. It shows you value their thoughts and makes them feel respected.

When you’re both sharing opinions, it feels like a real two-way street. Next time there’s a buzzing news topic, just ask, “I’m curious, what’s your take on all this?”

Open Up About Your Thoughts and Feelings

It’s cool to share your own mind, too. Let him in on how you’re feeling about things, whether it’s your big dreams or how you felt about the last episode of your favorite show.

This is sharing a piece of your life — it’s personal, and it’s real. When you open up, it invites him to do the same, and that’s the stuff solid connections are made of. It’s like saying, “I trust you with these parts of me.”

Flirt Subtly Through Body Language

A wink, a playful nudge, or a lingering glance — these little moves can say a lot. Body language is like your secret code for flirting. It’s the unspoken stuff that gives away those “more than friends” vibes.

Keep it gentle, nothing too in-your-face; the subtle stuff is often the most powerful. It’s like leaving breadcrumbs that lead him your way.

Tease Him Playfully

Teasing is a fun way to stir up a little fun banter. Keep it light-hearted, and make sure he knows you’re just joking. It’s a great way to keep things energetic and playful between you two.

The key is to tease about stuff that’s not too serious so nobody’s feelings get hurt. If he’s good-natured about his never-ending coffee habit, you could say, “Planning to turn into a coffee bean anytime soon?”

Dress in a Way That Showcases Your Style

Wearing clothes that you feel good in matters a lot. It’s not about the latest trends; it’s about what makes you feel like the best version of yourself.

When you dress in a way that shows off who you are, it boosts your confidence. Plus, it’s like a visual clue to him about the kind of person you are. It’s a silent introduction before you even speak.

Be Confident in Your Own Skin

Confidence is super attractive. It’s not about being loud or the center of attention. It’s about walking into a room and being okay with who you are.

When you’re confident, it’s easier for you to connect with others, including the guy you want to ask you out. Smiling, standing up straight, and tackling your day with a positive outlook can go a long way.

Invite Him to a Fun Event

Is there a concert coming up or a food festival? Inviting him to something that’s happening is a fun way to spend time together. You both get to experience something cool, and it’s a chance to make memories.

Events are great because they take the pressure off. You can say, “There’s a jazz band playing downtown this Friday, and I think you’d really dig their music. Want to go with me?”

Mention a New Place You’d Like to Try

Telling him about a new place you’d like to check out is an easy way to suggest hanging out. It can be anything — a new restaurant, a cool park, or a hidden gem in town.

This is a simple move that shows you’re open to new experiences and you’d like him to join in. For example, “I heard about this amazing taco place that just opened, and I’m dying to go. You in?”

Show Your Vulnerable Side

Letting your guard down a bit can help him see the real you. It’s okay to share if you’re feeling a bit unsure about something or if something’s got you down.

Being vulnerable means being honest about your feelings. It shows you trust him enough to be open, and trust is huge in any relationship. Everybody has their ups and downs, and sharing them can bring you closer.

Give Him a Thoughtful Gift

A small, thoughtful gift can show you really get him. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive or flashy — just something you know he’ll appreciate.

Maybe it’s as simple as his favorite snack or a book from an author he loves. It’s the thought that counts here, and a little surprise out of nowhere can make anyone’s day.

Ask About His Day or Week

Taking an interest in how his day or week went is a kind thing to do. It’s a simple way to show you care about what’s happening in his life. Plus, it’s an easy conversation starter.

You’re not just being polite; you’re showing you’re interested in the little details of his every day. It makes him feel valued and important when someone takes the time to ask.

Send a Flirty Text

Texts can be a fun way to flirt a little without it feeling too serious. A playful message can make him smile and think of you.

Keep it light and breezy — you don’t want to overwhelm him. Just a little nudge to let him know he’s on your mind. And a flirty text might just prompt him to ask you out.

Try something like:

  • “Is it just me, or did our last chat end way too soon? 😊 Next time, let’s fix that.”
  • “Hey, I was just thinking about that hilarious story you told me. You always seem to put a smile on my face 😊.”

Tell Him You Enjoy His Company

Everyone likes knowing they’re fun to be around. Telling him directly that you like hanging out is straightforward and sweet. It’s a genuine compliment that can make him feel good. Saying you enjoy his company is as easy as it is effective.

Example: After a day out together, you could say, “I really enjoy spending time with you; today was just perfect.” This not only ends the day on a high note but also makes him feel special and appreciated.

Encourage His Goals and Dreams

Cheering him on as he follows his dreams is a big win. It shows you believe in him and his future. Encouragement can be a powerful motivator, and it’s a sign of true friendship and care.

When you back up his ambitions, it builds a strong connection. And who knows? Down the line, he may want to take you out to celebrate his successes.

Excerpts From the Experts

“Here’s an oversimplified list of words and/or behaviors women can do to get a man to ask you out.

  • If you’re unsure how to be feminine, try to create the possibility of bringing him to his masculine. Just listen to him with eye contact.
  • Let him know casually, ‘If you ask me out, I would probably say yes.’
  • Drop a credit card or something of value as you walk out of a store, right near him. I did not think this would work until I had about a 90% success rate. If men have a chance to be the hero with no effort, they will pick up your item and deliver it to you. (I wish I could say that he would get the hint, but steps #1 and #2 are still necessary sometimes.)
  • Shy guys might be good guys. Scared guys might be good guys. Women need to give them direct guidance. ‘I’m doing a survey on what men say to ask women out. What’s a line that’s worked for you?’ If you’re not both going through the awkwardness and then coming out smiling, it wasn’t meant to be.
  • Humor. ‘I just read an article on how to get men to ask women out. There was no good information in it. What would you suggest to me?'”

Derek Hart | Life Coach | Founder, Understand Each Other

“Becoming very involved in activities, clubs, and places that share your interests massively increases the chances of meeting the right guy for you in the first place.

This is called propinquity, which is the likelihood of interacting with someone. Maximize your chances of the guy you want asking you out by being in situations and locales where he is likely to be and where you’re likely to interact with him.”

Justin Brown | Co-founder and CEO, Ideapod

Don’t let the guy know that you have a huge crush on him. Sometimes, a guy feels like he is too proud of himself, knowing that someone has a huge crush on him. Making him feel like you are interested in him is enough.

Stephan Jacob | Founder and Editor, BestForAndroid

Her body language and her communication with me would provide enough information to know if she is interested or not. For me, dropping hints was a big indicator that made me confident enough to ask. Hints from her such as:

  • “They are such a nice couple. Maybe we should all go out on a double date sometime.”
  • “If we were to go on a date, where would you want to go?”
  • “If you and I were dating, I would like to go see that movie.”

If one of these hints were dropped, I would immediately say, “Let’s do it,” or “I would like to see this movie; what do you think?”

Steve Groom | Certified Realty Investor | CEO, Maryland Home Buyers

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if a guy is interested in asking me out?

Look for signs like sustained eye contact, lots of smiles, and him taking the time to chat with you. If he’s making an effort to be around you and seems genuinely interested in what you have to say, those are good indicators.

What should I do if I’m too shy to initiate a conversation?

Start with non-verbal cues like smiling and making eye contact. When you feel ready, try asking a simple question or making a comment about something around you to break the ice.

What if I show interest and he doesn’t ask me out?

He might not be ready, or he’s not looking for a relationship right now. It’s important not to take it personally. It’s okay to be friends and enjoy getting to know each other without the pressure of dating.

Is it okay for me to ask him out instead?

Absolutely! It’s the 21st century, and there’s no rule that says you can’t make the first move. If you feel like he might be hesitant or unsure, taking the initiative could be a great move.

Final Thoughts

I know it can be scary to put yourself out there, but trust me, it’s worth it. The most important thing is to go at a speed that feels good for you. There’s no need to hurry or push anything, okay?

Remember, you’re amazing, and any guy would be happy to have you by his side. So, keep being yourself, and don’t be afraid to take a chance when it feels right. You never know where one small moment might lead! Now, go out there and show them what you’ve got!

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Jessa Claire is a registered healthcare provider. Music lover. Daydreamer. Thalassophile. Foodie. A hardworking Capricorn. Most days, an incurable empath. An old soul. Down-to-earth. Vibrant.

When she's not writing, she can be seen relaxing with headphones on or engrossed in her favorite fan fiction book.