How to Get the Spark Back in Your Relationship (80+ Ways)

Is your relationship feeling a bit dull or routine lately? Don’t worry; it’s completely normal. Even the strongest relationships can lose their spark over time. But here’s the good news — it’s possible to reignite that spark!

This guide is going to show you simple yet fun ways to breathe fresh life into your relationship and bring back the excitement.

So, let’s jump right in!

Table of Contents

Communication and Understanding

1. Communicate Openly

Communication forms the backbone of any relationship. Ensure both partners are heard and validated. This doesn’t only mean talking more but talking effectively. Choose your words wisely and avoid accusations.

Remember that it’s not what you say but how you say it.

Example: Instead of saying, "You never listen to me," you could say, "I feel ignored when I'm trying to express my feelings."

Related: How to Communicate Better in Your Relationship: 11 Effective Strategies

2. Practice Active Listening

Active listening is more than just hearing what your partner is saying. Show genuine interest in your partner’s thoughts and feelings. This means not interrupting, providing feedback, and clarifying understanding.

Tip: Make eye contact, nod to show understanding, and repeat what they said in your own words to verify understanding.

3. Compliment Each Other Regularly

Saying nice things to each other is a simple and effective way to show your love and affection. Regularly giving each other compliments can help to boost confidence and make your relationship stronger.

Example: A simple compliment like "I admire your strength" or "Your smile brightens my day" can go a long way.

4. Healthy Conflict Resolution

Every relationship has disagreements. The key is to approach disagreements in a constructive manner. Focus on the issue, not the person. Avoid name-calling and blame games.

Related: What To Say To Your Partner After A Big Argument

5. Discuss Your Desires and Needs Openly

Closeness is built on openness. Be candid about your intimate life, discussing desires and needs freely. This can lead to deeper understanding and connection. Use non-judgmental language and focus on your feelings and needs during these discussions.

Example: Instead of saying, "You're not romantic enough", say, "I would feel loved if we could have more romantic moments together".

6. Share Dreams and Fears

Having honest chats can make your relationship even stronger. Start by talking about your hopes, concerns, and life goals. This helps to create a deep emotional connection between you and leads to a better understanding of each other.

Example: Share about your career aspirations or fears about aging, fostering a deeper connection with your partner.

7. Hold Space for Each Other

To hold space means to provide a safe and non-judgmental space for your partner to express themselves. It promotes emotional sharing and deepens intimacy.

Example: If your partner is upset, sit with them, listen to their concerns, and offer comfort without trying to "fix" the problem immediately.

8. Stay Curious

In a long-term relationship, it’s easy to make assumptions. Keep asking each other questions. Show genuine curiosity about your partner’s experiences and feelings.

9. Respect Each Other’s Boundaries

It’s very important to understand and respect each other’s boundaries, personal space, and limits in a relationship. This means showing mutual respect and appreciating the times when your partner needs some personal time or freedom.

By doing this, you show a high level of respect for your partner and their individual needs, which helps to keep your relationship strong and healthy.

Tip: Discuss each other's comfort zones in various situations and ensure you respect these boundaries.

10. Respectful Disagreements

Disagreements are normal. But how you handle them can either hurt or strengthen your relationship. Aim to resolve issues without hurting each other’s feelings.

11. Avoid Comparisons

Every relationship is different. Trying to compare your relationship with others can create negative feelings or make you unhappy. Instead, cherish and celebrate the unique aspects of your own relationship.

Tip: Instead of comparing, focus on working towards your own relationship goals.

12. Say “I Love You” Regularly

Making sure you regularly tell each other “I love you” can help to strengthen your bond. This simple phrase can make your partner feel loved and appreciated. It’s a little effort that can make a big difference in your relationship.

Example: Say "I love you" at unexpected times, not just when saying goodbye or goodnight.

Shared Experiences

13. Spend Quality Time Together

Spending quality time together is a pivotal aspect of keeping the spark alive in your relationship. Devoting a specific portion of your routine to dates, engaging in activities that have a special significance to both of you or simply taking time to unwind together can do wonders.

This can help solidify your bond and emotional connection, thereby gradually bringing back the lost spark in your relationship.

Tip: Try to have at least one "date night" every week where you focus on each other without distractions.

14. Try New Things Together

In your journey to revive the spark in your relationship, one essential step is to venture out and try new things together. The infusion of fresh and thrilling experiences, like picking up a new hobby, learning a new mutual skill, or journeying to an unfamiliar place, can significantly rekindle the passion.

Sharing these new adventures fosters both excitement and a shared sense of discovery, thereby enhancing intimacy and connection in the relationship.

Example: Learn a new language together, take a cooking class, or start a garden.

15. Travel Together

The experience of discovering new places together not only generates shared memories but also serves as a bonding opportunity that strengthens your connection.

Keep in mind that the essence of these shared journeys is about spending quality time with each other, and the novelty of these experiences can help rekindle romance and stimulation in your relationship.

Example: Plan a surprise weekend getaway to a place your partner has always wanted to visit.

16. Balance Time Together and Apart

It’s important to strike a balance between shared activities and personal time. Encourage activities that you can do together and also ones that give you personal space.

17. Spend Time in Nature Together

Engaging in outdoor activities together is an excellent way to rejuvenate your relationship. These activities encourage open communication and decrease stress levels, acting as a beneficial therapeutic exercise.

In addition, the serene and beautiful surroundings nature provides could help you view your relationship through a renewed lens, adding a fresh and uplifting perspective to it.

18. Cook Together

Making meal preparation a group activity is a fun and interactive way to breathe some vitality back into your relationship. When cooking together, you have the opportunity to work as a team, which not only enhances your communication but also allows you to engage in a tangible shared goal.

This simple act of togetherness in the kitchen can ignite conversation, evoke laughter, and bring a stronger sense of connection and satisfaction in your relationship.

Example: Pick a new recipe to try every weekend and enjoy the process of cooking and eating together.

19. Volunteer Together

Participating in volunteer work together can significantly strengthen your relationship by allowing you to contribute positively to the community while ensuring your bond deepens.

Engaging in community service collectively can precipitate mutual cooperation and inspire a sense of solidarity, helping you rediscover shared values. Thus, it serves as a unique avenue to reignite the spark in your relationship.

20. Spend Time with Other Couples

Spending time with other couples affords a unique opportunity to gain new insights and perspectives into your relationship.

Engaging in double dates or group outings not only serves as a fun and recreational activity but also enlightens you about different ways couples communicate, resolve conflicts, and keep their relationship vibrant, which in turn can spark new energy in your own relationship.

21. Engage in Personal Development Activities

Nurture joint personal growth. This could be through self-improvement books, workshops, or online courses. Learning together promotes understanding and togetherness.

Example: Attend a relationship workshop or read a self-improvement book together.

22. Accept a Shared Physical Challenge

Engaging in shared physical challenges is a great way to reignite the spark in your relationship. It can be anything from setting and meeting fitness goals, preparing together for a marathon, or even embarking on an adventure like mountain climbing.

Participating in such activities not only encourages mutual growth but also improves companionship and builds a stronger connection between partners.

23. Share Inspirational Content

Exchanging inspirational content such as motivational books, videos, or articles can stimulate healthy debates and discussions, fostering greater understanding and mutual respect. This practice can also serve as a source of motivation, sparking creative ideas that can rejuvenate your relationship.

Tip: Create a shared digital folder where you can save and discuss inspirational content.

24. Care for a Pet Together

Pets not only bring unconditional love into our homes, but they also foster a sense of teamwork and compassion, essential ingredients for a strong relationship.

By getting a pet and looking after it together, you and your partner can experience shared joy and responsibility, ultimately strengthening the bond between you.

Fact: Pets can reduce stress and promote happiness, benefiting not only individuals but also their relationships.

25. Do Chores Together

Making ordinary tasks like doing the dishes or laundry a shared activity can intersperse a mundane daily routine with quality time together. Doing chores collectively not only makes these tasks less monotonous but also provides more opportunities to interact, communicate, and strengthen your relationship.

Expressing Affection

26. Show Appreciation

Regularly expressing gratitude to your partner is a fundamental way to show love and affection. Whether it’s their cooking, their thoughtfulness, or simply their presence, make sure to acknowledge it. This act can make your partner feel valued and respected.

Tip: Aim for at least one expression of gratitude each day.

27. Surprise Each Other

Maintaining an element of surprise and unpredictability in your relationship can make it more exciting. Whether it’s a surprise date, gift, or a simple act that your partner didn’t expect, it can add an element of fun and delight to your relationship.

“Surprises are the joy of living. Surprises are what make the present moment so delightful.”

– Susan Beth Pfeffer

28. Show Small Gestures of Love

Small acts of love can significantly contribute to strengthening your relationship. These don’t have to be grand gestures; even simple actions that show you care can make your partner feel loved.

Fact: According to a study published in "The Journal of Social Psychology," small acts of kindness in a relationship can boost satisfaction.

29. Encourage Physical Connection

Physical affection is an important part of a romantic relationship. Holding hands, hugging, or kissing can bring you closer and enhance feelings of love and intimacy.

Fact: Physical affection can reduce stress and increase relationship satisfaction according to a study published in "The American Journal of Family Therapy."

30. Understand Love Languages

The Five Love Languages, as described by Dr. Gary Chapman, are:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch

Knowing each other’s preferred love language can help you express love in a way that your partner most appreciates.

31. Celebrate Milestones

Recognizing and celebrating each other’s achievements, big or small, can show your support and respect for your partner. It can also bring joy and positivity to your relationship.

32. Leave Cute Messages

Writing sweet little messages or notes for your partner can make them smile and brighten their day. It’s an easy way to remind your partner of your love even when you are not around.

Tip: Leave a note in a place your partner will find it, like in their lunch box or in the bathroom mirror.

33. Write Love Letters

Writing love letters may sound old-fashioned, but it’s a heartfelt way to express your feelings. It’s a keepsake that your partner can hold onto and read whenever they want to feel your love.

34. Dance Together

Learning new dance moves together can be a fun and intimate experience. It allows for physical closeness, collaboration, and can also be a great way to reduce stress.

35. Create a Unique Gesture

A special gesture or symbol just for the two of you can enhance your bond. This could be a unique handshake, a special greeting, or anything that is significant only to you two.

36. Praise Each Other Publicly

Expressing your love and admiration for your partner openly in front of others can make them feel cherished. It shows that you’re proud of them and your relationship.

37. Gift Experiences

Instead of giving physical gifts, try gifting experiences that you can both enjoy. This could be attending a music concert, learning to cook a new dish, or relaxing at a spa. These experiences can create unforgettable memories in your relationship.

38. Maintain Eye Contact

While talking to your partner, try to maintain eye contact. This shows that you are genuinely interested and attentive to what your partner is saying. It helps create a stronger connection and understanding between you both.

39. Show Interest in Each Other’s Hobbies

Showing curiosity toward your partner’s hobbies or interests can show that you care. It can also provide an opportunity to learn more about each other and spend quality time together.

Tip: Join your partner in their hobby once in a while or ask them about it.

40. Be Kind

Being kind to your partner is very important in a relationship. Even simple acts of kindness can make a big difference. Doing something nice for your partner can show them that you love and appreciate them.

Example: Prepare breakfast for your partner or offer to do their chores when they're tired.

41. Use Pet Names

Using pet names for your partner can make your relationship feel closer and more special. It’s a personal and fun way to show your love. Plus, it makes your interactions with each other more affectionate.

Fact: Research suggests that using pet names can increase satisfaction in romantic relationships.

Future Planning and Goals

42. Set Future Goals Together

Setting future goals together can give you something to look forward to and work towards as a couple. Whether it’s a shared financial goal, a travel destination, or a personal development goal, planning it together can make the process enjoyable and rewarding.

Fact: According to a study by the "Journal of Social and Personal Relationships," setting and working towards shared goals can increase relationship satisfaction.

43. Create a Relationship Vision Board

A relationship vision board is a visual representation of your shared dreams and goals. It can serve as a daily reminder and motivation to work towards your shared vision.

44. Create a Shared Bucket List

Creating a shared bucket list of experiences you want to have together can make your relationship more exciting. It can also provide a sense of anticipation and excitement for future adventures.

Example: Include adventures like skydiving, going on a safari, or learning to cook a new cuisine.

45. Establish Relationship Goals

Setting shared relationship goals can help you focus on improving your relationship. Whether it’s improving communication, spending more quality time together, or finding new ways to express love, having these goals can inspire you to invest more in your relationship.

46. Share Future Dreams

Sharing your future dreams with each other can bring you closer and strengthen your partnership. Whether these dreams are personal or shared, discussing them can provide insight into each other’s hopes and aspirations.

47. Establish Mutual Respect

Having respect for each other is about knowing that you both are important and valued. It also creates a feeling of equality, where you appreciate and respect the thoughts and feelings of your partner the same as your own. This helps make your relationship stronger and keeps the spark alive.

Example: Show respect by listening attentively when your partner is speaking and by being considerate of their feelings.

48. Plan for a Shared Future While Living in the Present

Striking a balance between future plans and living in the moment can keep your relationship exciting and grounded. While it’s important to plan for the future, enjoying the present can keep your relationship fresh and vibrant.

“Forever is composed of nows.”

– Emily Dickinson.

Reminiscence and Shared History

49. Revisit Memories

Reflecting on your journey together and why you fell in love can keep the spark alive in your relationship. It can also remind you of the reasons why you chose each other.

50. Refresh Your Environment

Making regular changes to your surroundings can make things feel new and fresh. Whether it’s rearranging the furniture, painting the walls a new color, or adding some new decor, it can bring a breath of fresh air into your shared space and your relationship.

51. Recreate First Experiences

Revisiting your first date location or recreating another memorable experience from the early days of your relationship can bring back feelings and memories of when you first fell in love.

Example: Go to the restaurant where you had your first date or watch the first movie you saw together.

52. Engage in a Joint DIY Project

Engaging in a joint DIY project can provide a sense of satisfaction and joint accomplishment. Whether it’s building a piece of furniture, creating a piece of art, or gardening, it can be a fun and rewarding experience.

53. Talk About Memories Often

Talking about your shared memories can keep the spark alive in your relationship. Whether it’s funny incidents, shared successes, or challenges you’ve overcome together, reminiscing can reinforce your bond.

Rituals and Traditions

54. Create Rituals

Developing shared rituals, like Sunday brunch or evening walks, can strengthen your bond. These regular activities can become cherished parts of your routine, bringing you closer together.

55. Practice Mindfulness Together

Practicing mindfulness together can improve focus, reduce anxiety, and promote mental health. This shared practice can also help you feel more connected to each other.

Fact: Research shows that mindfulness can improve relationship satisfaction.

56. Develop New Traditions

Creating unique traditions just for the two of you can deepen your unity and add excitement to your relationship. It can be as simple as cooking a specific meal on your anniversary or taking a yearly trip to your favorite place.

57. Start a Garden Together

Try embarking on the gardening journey with your partner. This joint venture can boost feelings of success and exploration in your relationship, as well as teach you both about patience.

Moreover, gardening is an enjoyable and relaxing activity you can both engage in together, bringing a tranquil and satisfying shared experience to your relationship.

Shared Creative Activities

58. Exchange Knowledge

Choose a topic that interests you and take turns teaching each other about it. This can enhance mutual respect and increase your understanding of each other’s interests and passions.

Example: If you love photography and your partner is into cooking, you could teach each other about these topics.

59. Cultivate Mutual Friendships

Having shared friendships can add to your relationship growth. It can also provide opportunities for social activities and group discussions that can deepen your bond.

60. Create Art Together

Engaging in artistic activities together can be a therapeutic bonding experience. Whether it’s painting, sculpture, or crafts, creating art can open avenues for expressing emotions and ideas.

61. Build Something Together

Working on a DIY project together can improve your communication and problem-solving skills. The shared sense of accomplishment can also strengthen your bond.

Example: Build a piece of furniture for your home or create a birdhouse for your garden.

62. Write Poems or Songs for Each Other

Expressing your love for each other through creative writing can be a unique and heartfelt gesture. Whether it’s a poem or a song, this personal expression of love can be deeply touching and memorable.

Tip: Write from the heart. It doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be sincere.

Physical Health and Wellness

63. Take Care of Your Physical Health

Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is important not just for you but also for your relationship. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and enough sleep can contribute to your emotional well-being, making you a happier and more fulfilled partner.

64. Give Each Other Massages

Sharing relaxing moments like giving each other massages can help strengthen your connection. This action is a great way to bring back feelings of closeness and ease any tension or stress.

It’s also a fun and enjoyable activity you can both look forward to, helping to rekindle the spark in your relationship.

Nurturing the Bond

65. Support Each Other

Being there for each other during both good and bad times is crucial in a relationship. Whether it’s cheering each other on during successes or offering comfort during challenges, your support can strengthen your bond.

66. Support Each Other’s Goals Enthusiastically

Being supportive and encouraging of each other’s goals can foster a positive environment in your relationship. Whether it’s career aspirations or personal goals, show your partner that you’re there for them and you believe in them.

67. Focus on Positive Traits

Celebrating each other’s positive qualities can create a positive atmosphere in your relationship. Recognize your partner’s strengths and express your appreciation for them.

68. Consider Counseling or Therapy

Seeking professional help when necessary can be beneficial for your relationship. Whether it’s couple’s therapy or individual counseling, professional guidance can provide tools and techniques to help improve your relationship.

69. Rediscover Shared Values

Revisiting your common beliefs and values can help solidify your bond. Discuss your shared values and how they influence your relationship.

Example: If you both value honesty and communication, discuss how these values play out in your relationship and how they can help strengthen your bond.

70. Laugh Together

Incorporating humor into your relationship can keep things fun and light-hearted. Shared laughter can also strengthen your bond and boost relationship satisfaction.

Fact: A study in the journal Personal Relationships found that couples who laugh together are more satisfied in their relationship.

71. Keep Your Promises

Keeping your promises can build trust and reliability in your relationship. Whether it’s small promises like doing a chore or larger commitments, following through shows your partner that they can depend on you.

72. Engage in Shared Photography

Capturing precious moments together can be a fun and memorable activity. Whether it’s a beautiful sunset or a funny moment, photographs can help you reminisce and cherish your shared experiences.

73. Reflect Together Nightly

Taking some time to reflect on the day’s events before going to bed can help you stay connected and informed about each other’s lives. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences from the day.

74. Develop Personal Jokes

Having shared humor in the form of personal jokes can add joy and uniqueness to your relationship. These inside jokes can bring smiles and laughter, keeping your bond strong and lively.

Example: If something funny happens during a shared experience, turn it into an inside joke that only the two of you understand.

75. Spend Time Cuddling

Spending time cuddling can foster intimacy and connection in your relationship. Whether it’s while watching a movie or before sleeping, physical closeness can make you feel loved and secure.

76. Watch Sunrise or Sunset Together

Watching the sunrise or sunset together can provide tranquil moments for deep conversations and connection. These peaceful moments can help you slow down and appreciate each other’s company.

Example: Wake up early to watch the sunrise together or make time to watch the sunset from a beautiful location.

77. Surround Yourself with Positive People

The people you surround yourself with can influence your relationship. Positive influences can reflect positively on your relationship, while negative influences can have the opposite effect.

78. Stargaze Together

Stargazing can be a peaceful and romantic bonding experience. Whether it’s from your backyard or a special location, shared tranquility while observing the stars can bring you closer together.

79. Schedule Device-Free Time

Dedicating time to focus fully on each other without distractions from devices can improve your connection. Whether it’s during meals or before bed, this dedicated time can help you engage in meaningful conversations and shared activities.

80. Support Each Other in Public

Showing support for each other in public can be comforting and reaffirming. Whether it’s holding hands, expressing appreciation, or standing up for each other, these small gestures can make your partner feel loved and secure.

Tip: Show your support through words and actions, but ensure that your partner is comfortable with public displays of affection.

81. Look for the Best in Each Other

Focusing on the traits you love about your partner, rather than dwelling on their flaws, can improve your perspective of your relationship. Appreciating your partner’s positive qualities can make you feel more satisfied and happy in your relationship.

82. Practice Forgiveness and Patience

Forgiving each other for mistakes and being patient with each other’s flaws can foster deep trust and connection. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and having the capacity to forgive can make your relationship stronger.

83. Share the Load During Tough Times

Being supportive and present during crises can show your partner that you’re there for them, no matter what. Sharing the load during tough times can make the burden lighter and your bond stronger.

84. Plan Surprise Vacations

Planning surprise trips can foster exciting memories and break the monotony. Whether it’s a weekend getaway or a week-long vacation, these unexpected trips can add an element of surprise and excitement to your relationship.

Tip: Keep in mind your partner's likes and preferences when planning the trip.

85. Give Each Other Freedom to Grow

Allowing each other the freedom to grow and develop as individuals can contribute to relationship enhancement. Understand that your partner is their own person with their own needs and aspirations, and support their journey of personal growth.

Example: If your partner wants to go back to school or pursue a new hobby, support their decision and encourage their growth.

86. Celebrate Small Victories

Celebrating small victories, like reaching a fitness goal or getting a positive review at work, can build connection and positivity in your relationship. Show your partner that you’re proud of their achievements, big or small.

87. Write in a Shared Journal

Writing down your feelings, thoughts, and experiences in a shared journal can foster openness and connection. Whether it’s expressing love, sharing a memory, or discussing a challenge, this written communication can enhance your understanding of each other.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why might the spark in my relationship be fading?

A variety of factors can cause the initial excitement in a relationship to fade. This can include:

– Daily routine
– Stress
– Lack of quality time spent together
– Personal issues

Remember, it’s a common issue and can be worked on with mutual understanding and effort.

Is it necessary to consider counseling or therapy to get the spark back in a relationship?

Not always, but it can be helpful in some situations. If you’re finding it difficult to resolve issues or communicate effectively, professional help such as counseling or therapy can be beneficial. It’s a proactive step towards improving your relationship.

How can we maintain spontaneity in our relationship?

Keeping spontaneity alive involves breaking routines with unplanned, exciting activities. Surprise dates, unexpected gifts, or spontaneous trips are just a few ways to inject unpredictability and excitement into your relationship.


There you have it! With these easy and enjoyable tips, getting the spark back in your relationship is not just possible but can also be a whole lot of fun. Remember, every relationship has its ups and downs. But with patience, effort, and a whole lot of love, you can keep the flame alive.

So, go ahead, start implementing these tips, and make every day with your partner feel as exciting as the first!

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

As you found this post useful...

Share it on social media!

We are sorry that this post was not useful for you!

Let us improve this post!

Tell us how we can improve this post?

Brenda Calisaan

Brenda Calisaan is a psychology graduate who strongly desires to impact society positively. She aspires to spread awareness and knowledge about mental health, its importance, and its impact on individuals and society.

She also has a passion for working with children and hopes to dedicate her career to positively impacting their lives.

Outside of work, Brenda is an avid traveler and enjoys exploring new experiences. She is also a music enthusiast and loves to listen to a variety of genres. When she's not on the road or working, Brenda can often be found watching interesting YouTube videos, such as Ted-Ed content.