How To Keep A Relationship Exciting For A Long Time (79 Ways)

We all dream of having that spark in our relationship, the kind that makes our hearts flutter every time we see our partner. But over time, the thrill can fade, making the relationship feel routine. Don’t worry, though! There are plenty of ways to keep that flame burning bright.

In this article, we’ll explore simple and practical strategies to keep your relationship exciting for a long, long time.

Table of Contents

Communication & Emotional Connection

1. Communicate Openly

Don’t bottle up your feelings and thoughts; share them openly with your partner. By sharing your deepest thoughts and emotions, you create an atmosphere of trust.

When you express yourself, you give your partner a chance to understand you better. They get a clearer idea about what makes you happy, what upsets you, and what your expectations are. This can prevent misunderstandings and needless fights.

Tip: Avoid confrontational language. Use phrases like "I feel" or "I think" instead of accusing your partner.

2. Practice Active Listening

Active listening isn’t about simply hearing what your partner says; it involves showing empathy and understanding toward their feelings and thoughts. This means maintaining eye contact, asking follow-up questions, and giving your full attention.

Remember, conversation is a two-way street. Listening is just as important as talking.

Practical example: When your partner talks about a challenging day at work, don't just nod; ask questions about their experience and show that you care.

Related: 13 Signs You’re a Good Listener (Real Life Examples + How to Become One)

3. Have a Regular ‘State of the Union’ Talk

Make it a habit to regularly evaluate and discuss the health of your relationship. This ‘State of the Union’ talk should be an honest and open conversation about what’s working and what’s not in your relationship.

It’s not about blaming or arguing but finding ways to improve and grow together.

4. Ask Thought-Provoking Questions

Initiating deep and meaningful conversations can lead to an intimate emotional connection. Thought-provoking questions that explore your partner’s values, dreams, and experiences can foster understanding and shared insight.

5. Discuss Future Plans

Talking about the future is not just exciting; it helps build shared goals and a shared vision. Be it planning your next vacation, discussing career plans, or dreaming about your ideal home, these discussions can bring you closer.

Example: Discuss where you'd like to be in five years, what kind of place you'd like to live in, or where you see your careers heading.

6. Share Your Dreams and Fears

Sharing your dreams and fears isn’t a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it builds trust and understanding. When you expose your vulnerabilities, your partner gets to know the real you, making your connection stronger and deeper.

7. Show Interest in Each Other’s Day

Asking your partner about their day isn’t just polite; it shows that you care about their experiences. This simple act can foster an emotional connection, make your partner feel valued, and encourage open communication.

Practical Example: Ask questions about their interactions with coworkers, any challenges faced, or any memorable moments of the day.

8. Practice Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is about accepting your partner as they are, flaws and all. It’s about loving them without expecting anything in return. This kind of love fosters a deep and lasting connection that can weather life’s ups and downs.

Romance & Intimacy

9. Try New Things Together

One surefire way to keep a relationship exciting is by trying new things together. This could be anything from cooking a new recipe to trying a new hobby or adventure sport. Shared experiences create shared memories, and they also allow you to see each other from a new perspective.

10. Surprise Each Other

Small, unexpected gestures can have a big impact. They make your partner feel cherished and valued. Surprises need not be grand or expensive; a heartfelt note or their favorite meal can do the trick.

Example: If your partner loves coffee, surprise them one morning with a freshly brewed cup just the way they like it.

11. Reminisce About Happy Memories

Revisiting happy memories can help rekindle positive feelings. Looking back on shared experiences reminds you of why you fell in love and how you’ve grown together. It’s like revisiting the highlights of your relationship journey.

Fact: According to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, couples who reminisce about shared experiences report increased relationship satisfaction.

12. Plan Regular Date Nights

Don’t let the romance fade as the relationship ages. Set aside time for regular date nights, no matter how busy your schedules get. These moments offer a chance to connect, unwind, and keep the flame alive.

Tip: Alternate who plans the date nights to add an element of surprise.

13. Keep Flirting

Flirting isn’t just for the early stages of a relationship. A playful wink, a flirtatious comment, or a coy smile can get the spark back in your relationship, even in long-term relationships. It reminds your partner that you’re still attracted to them.

14. Give Compliments

Acknowledge your partner’s positive traits and efforts. Compliment them regularly, whether it’s about their looks, their intelligence, or how they make you feel. A well-timed compliment can make your partner feel appreciated and loved.

Tip: Make your compliments sincere and specific.

15. Write Love Letters

Expressing your feelings in writing can be deeply meaningful. A heartfelt love letter can evoke emotions like no other. It’s a tangible expression of love that your partner can revisit anytime.

Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them.

– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

16. Stargaze Together

Spending quiet moments together can create a sense of intimacy and connection. Stargazing is one such activity. It’s romantic, peaceful, and gives you a chance to have deep conversations or simply enjoy each other’s presence in silence.

Example: Make it a special night with a blanket, some hot cocoa, and your favorite music playing softly.

17. Designate a “We” Day

Take an entire day to focus on your relationship. Do things you both enjoy, have meaningful conversations, or simply enjoy each other’s company. This dedicated time can strengthen your bond and create beautiful memories.

18. Get Dressed Up For No Reason

Keeping the spark alive involves keeping the attraction alive. Making an effort in your appearance for no particular reason can do just that. It shows your partner that you want to look good for them.

19. Send Romantic Texts

Don’t underestimate the power of a romantic text. Little reminders of your love can brighten your partner’s day and make them feel special. A simple “I love you” or “I’m thinking of you” can go a long way.

Tip: Be spontaneous with your texts; don't wait for special occasions to express your love.

Shared Activities & Interests

20. Cook Together

If you’re searching for a way to bond, there’s nothing quite like cooking a meal together. When you and your partner work together to create something delicious, it’s a beautiful metaphor for how relationships should work: as a team effort. As you chop, mix, and stir, you’re also fostering a sense of teamwork and intimacy.

Tip: Start with simple recipes and gradually try more complex ones. This way, you can grow your culinary skills together.

21. Travel Together

Visiting new places with your partner isn’t just about ticking off destinations from your travel list; it’s about creating memories and shared experiences. There’s something about navigating unfamiliar terrain that brings people closer together.

Example: Plan a weekend getaway to a place neither of you has been before. It could be a small town nearby or a famous tourist spot.

22. Try New Foods Together

If travel is out of reach, bring the world to your dining table instead. Trying new foods together can be just as thrilling as visiting a new place. Not only does it introduce you to different cultures, but it also allows you to expand your culinary horizons together.

23. Read Books Together

Books have the power to transport us to different worlds. Reading together fosters intellectual connection and mutual growth, whether you’re delving into fantasy realms or discussing thought-provoking non-fiction.

Example: Start a mini book club with your partner. Choose a book you both are interested in, and set a time each week to discuss what you've read.

24. Learn About Each Other’s Interests

Understanding your partner’s hobbies and interests can bring you closer together. It shows that you respect their individuality, and it can open your eyes to new experiences you may end up enjoying.

Tip: Spend a day engaging in your partner's favorite hobby, whether it's hiking, painting, or even gaming. 

25. Set Shared Goals

Goals give us something to look forward to and work towards. When you and your partner set shared goals, you’re not just planning for the future; you’re also reinforcing the idea that you’re on this journey together.

26. Develop Shared Rituals

Rituals, whether they’re as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee together every morning or having a movie night every Friday, can provide a sense of belonging and mutual connection. They become “our thing,” something special shared just between the two of you.

27. Go on Double Dates

Double dates add a new dynamic to your relationship. Not only can you enjoy socializing with other couples, but it can also foster a deeper connection between you and your partner.

28. Stay Physically Active Together

Physical activities, like going for a jog or hitting the gym together, can boost endorphins (happy hormones) and bonding. Plus, supporting each other through challenging workouts can make you feel more connected.

Tip: Choose a physical activity that you both enjoy. It could be hiking, cycling, or yoga. Remember, it's not about who's better, but about enjoying the process and supporting each other.

29. Take Photos Together

Photos are a visual diary of your shared memories. Whether it’s a selfie at your favorite café or a photo of a beautiful sunset you witnessed together, these snapshots are a tangible reminder of your shared experiences.

30. Learn to Play a Game Together

Games are fun, and they also foster bonding. Whether it’s a board game, video game, or outdoor sport, learning to play together can inject fun and laughter into your relationship.

31. Pursue a Shared Passion

Having a shared passion is like having a secret language. It’s something that only the two of you can understand and appreciate fully. This shared interest can keep your relationship fresh and exciting.

Example: If you both love music, consider learning to play a musical instrument together. If art is your passion, attend painting classes together.

32. Celebrate Small Wins

In relationships, it’s important to celebrate small wins. Whether it’s a promotion at work or simply sticking to a fitness goal, recognizing and celebrating these moments can keep the positivity flowing in your relationship.

Fact: According to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, reacting positively to your partner's successes is one of the most crucial elements of a strong relationship.

33. Create a Bucket List Together

Creating a bucket list with your partner allows you to dream together and plan for exciting adventures. It can serve as a roadmap to a lifetime of shared experiences that can keep the excitement high in your relationship.

34. Decorate Your Living Space Together

Decorating your shared living space is more than just choosing curtains or picking out furniture. It’s about creating an environment that reflects both of you. It fosters a sense of collaboration and mutual respect for each other’s tastes.

Tip: Involve your partner in decorating decisions, from choosing the color of the walls to selecting the artwork.

35. Sing or Play Music Together

Melodious tunes and sweet harmonies serve as an amazing conduit for cultivating deeper bonds. Whether you’re belting out lyrics to a fast-paced pop song or orchestrating a symphony on practicable musical instruments, these shared experiences not only promote emotional intimacy but also infuse a sense of amusement into your relationship

36. Engage in Charity Work Together

Helping others isn’t just good for the soul; it’s also good for your relationship. Engaging in charity work together can foster mutual empathy and provide a new perspective on life.

Tip: Choose a cause that both of you are passionate about, and dedicate some time each month to volunteer for it.

37. Try Dance Lessons Together

Dance is a language of love. It encourages physical intimacy and injects an element of fun into your relationship. Whether it’s salsa, ballroom, or simply grooving to your favorite tunes, dancing allows you to connect on a different level.

38. Keep Up with Each Other’s Families

Family plays a significant role in your partner’s life. By taking an interest in their family, you show your partner that you value the people who matter to them. This can strengthen your bond and help you understand your partner better.

Tip: Regularly schedule calls or visits to your partner's family. Participate in their family events and traditions.

39. Take Care of a Pet Together

Pets are more than just cute, furry companions; they also teach us valuable lessons about care and responsibility. Taking care of a pet together can foster teamwork and mutual care, strengthening your bond.

40. Have a No-Phone Night

In the digital age, disconnecting from technology can be a real challenge. However, setting aside a no-phone night can encourage deeper connections, uninterrupted conversations, and quality time.

41. Learn a New Language Together

Learning a new language isn’t just a useful skill—it’s also a bonding experience. As you navigate new words and phrases together, you’ll likely share a lot of laughs and high-fives.

42. Try Meditation or Yoga Together

Experiencing the tranquility of meditation or the serene flow of yoga side by side is an effective way to deepen your connection and add an element of thrill to your relationship.

As these practices promote shared relaxation, the focused energy and synchronization they offer can result in a fortified bond and mutual understanding.

43. Explore Nature Together

Exploring the great outdoors offers endless opportunities for shared adventures, from hiking and camping to picnicking and bird watching. Not to mention, the beauty of nature can provide the perfect backdrop for some memorable moments.

Tip: Plan a weekend hike or a camping trip. If you're not into hiking, a simple walk in the park can also do wonders.

44. Try Gardening Together

Gardening is a beautiful blend of patience, teamwork, and the joy of watching something grow—much like a relationship. Tending to a garden together can bring you closer and provide a shared sense of achievement.

45. Host Parties Together

Hosting parties allows you to socialize as a couple, offering lots of fun and bonding opportunities. Whether it’s a dinner party, a game night, or a casual get-together, hosting together can create wonderful shared memories.

Tip: Share the responsibilities of hosting—planning, cooking, and decorating—to make the process less stressful and more enjoyable.

46. Swap Favorite Movies or Books

Sharing your favorite books or movies can help your partner understand you better and vice versa. Plus, it can lead to interesting conversations and shared experiences.

Example: Make a list of your top five movies or books and exchange it with your partner. Take turns watching or reading them.

47. Engage in DIY Projects Together

DIY projects can be both fun and satisfying. Whether you’re building furniture, creating art, or upcycling items, working on something together can boost your teamwork skills and provide a sense of accomplishment.

Tip: Be patient with each other, and remember that the goal is to enjoy the process, not just the end product.

48. Go on Road Trips Together

Long drives can offer an excellent opportunity for deep conversations, sing-alongs, and shared adventures. A change of scenery and an open road can breathe fresh life into your relationship.

Sometimes the most scenic roads in life are the detours you didn’t mean to take.

– Angela N. Blount

49. Take Classes Together

Learning new skills together can be both fun and rewarding. Whether it’s a cooking class, photography course, or painting workshop, learning together fosters a sense of camaraderie and mutual growth.

50. Attend Live Events Together

Bathing in the overwhelming atmosphere of concerts, absorbing the dramatic essence of plays, or cheering your hearts out at sports games, you foster cherished memories that weave an exciting narrative of your shared journey.

These adrenaline-infused outings not only fuel your relationship with thrilling moments but also act as treasured stories to look back on and relive together, thereby keeping the spark of your relationship invigorating over the long haul.

51. Learn About Each Other’s Cultures

Understanding and respecting each other’s cultural backgrounds fosters mutual understanding and respect. It can bring you closer together, and it might even introduce you to new traditions, foods, and perspectives.

Tip: Share stories from your cultural background, cook traditional meals together, or celebrate cultural holidays.

52. Renew Your Vows

If you’re married, renewing your vows is a wonderful way to reaffirm your commitment to each other. It’s a romantic gesture that can help you rekindle the flame and remind you of the reasons why you fell in love.

Example: Plan a small ceremony where you can express your love and commitment to each other. It doesn't need to be extravagant—a simple event with close friends and family can be just as meaningful.

Personal Growth & Independence

53. Keep Personal Hobbies

The thrill of sharing life with someone you love doesn’t mean you should stop pursuing your personal interests. Having hobbies that you love can bring an exciting element to your relationship. Your partner will appreciate seeing the joy and passion your hobbies bring you.

The excitement from your individual interests can spill over into your relationship, keeping the spark alive. Maintaining individual interests ensures personal growth and provides new experiences to share.

54. Give Space When Needed

Just like how plants need space to grow, your relationship also requires room to breathe. It’s crucial to recognize when your partner needs alone time. Giving each other space allows personal growth and ensures a healthy and balanced relationship.

Practical example: If your partner enjoys reading in the evening, give them some uninterrupted time to do so.

55. Work on Personal Growth

Working on personal growth means improving yourself, your mindset, and your skills. It could be as simple as reading a new book or as significant as going back to school. Whatever it is, it allows you to bring more to the table and be a better partner.

56. Encourage Each Other’s Health

A shared health goal can foster mutual support in a relationship. It could be as simple as taking a daily walk together or trying new healthy recipes. Regular exercise and a balanced diet can boost your mood and energy levels, which can positively affect your relationship.

57. Learn Each Other’s Love Languages

Understanding your partner’s love language can help you meet their emotional needs more effectively. Love languages refer to how individuals express and prefer to receive love, and they include words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

Fact: According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of "The Five Love Languages," understanding and speaking your partner's love language can significantly improve your relationship.

58. Practice Patience

Patience fosters understanding and kindness in a relationship. It allows you to be more understanding during disagreements and more supportive during tough times. Patience is a virtue that can lead to a deeper emotional connection with your partner.

Patience is the mark of true love. If you truly love someone, you will be
more patient with that person.

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Respect & Trust

59. Be Forgiving

In any relationship, forgiveness is crucial. Holding onto grudges can create a barrier between you and your partner, hindering communication and intimacy. By choosing to forgive, you foster emotional safety and improve your bond with your partner.

60. Practice Gratitude

Showing appreciation for your partner can strengthen your bond and increase your overall happiness as a couple. A simple ‘thank you’ can go a long way in maintaining a healthy relationship.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping
a present and not giving it.

– William Arthur Ward

61. Celebrate Each Other’s Individuality

Everyone is unique, and these differences make us who we are. Celebrating these differences rather than trying to change them can help foster mutual respect in a relationship.

62. Keep Your Promises

Keeping your promises not only shows that you’re dependable but also creates trust in your relationship. Trust is one of the pillars of a strong relationship, and by keeping your promises, you’re reinforcing that foundation.

Example: If you promise to help your partner with household chores, make sure to follow through.

63. Maintain Mutual Respect

Respect is crucial in any relationship. It means you value each other as individuals and appreciate your differences. When you respect your partner, you’re more likely to be kind, considerate, and supportive.

64. Respect Each Other’s Boundaries

Boundaries are crucial for a healthy relationship. They help each person understand their partner’s needs and expectations, which can prevent misunderstandings and potential conflicts. Respecting your partner’s boundaries fosters mutual respect.

Example: If your partner needs some time alone after work to decompress, respect that boundary by giving them space during that time.

Related: How to Respect Your Partner’s Boundaries (10 Tips)

65. Support Each Other in Tough Times

Being there for your partner during tough times can foster mutual trust and strengthen your bond. Your support can provide them with the strength they need to overcome challenges.

66. Get Creative with Gifts

Gift-giving isn’t just about the materialistic aspect; it’s also about showing your love and appreciation. Getting creative with your gifts, such as personalizing them or making them yourself, can make your partner feel extra special.

67. Prioritize Each Other

Showing your partner that they’re the most important part of your life can make them feel valued and loved. This could mean putting your phone away during dinner, planning special date nights, or just spending quality time together.

68. Encourage Each Other’s Dreams

Encouraging your partner’s dreams can go a long way in creating mutual support in your relationship. It shows that you believe in them and their abilities, which can significantly boost their confidence.

69. Participate in Each Other’s Work Events

Participating in your partner’s work events can show that you respect and support their professional life. It allows you to understand their work environment better and provides an opportunity for you to show your admiration for their work ethic.

Tip: Show genuine interest during these events, and use it as an opportunity to learn more about what your partner does.

70. Avoid Nagging

Instead of nagging, try to have constructive conversations with your partner. Nagging can lead to resentment and frustration, whereas effective communication fosters understanding and problem-solving.

Example: Instead of nagging your partner about their messy habits, express how it makes you feel and suggest possible solutions.

71. Develop Mutual Trust

Trust is a cornerstone of a strong and thriving relationship. Developing mutual trust can lead to better communication, improved problem-solving, and a deeper emotional connection.

Tip: Be honest and transparent with your partner. Little lies, even about trivial things, can erode trust over time.

72. Handle Finances Together

Shared responsibility and transparency in finances can foster trust and understanding in a relationship. It allows both partners to have a clear understanding of their financial situation and reduces the potential for disagreements related to money.

Fact: According to a study by the American Psychological Association, financial disagreements are a significant predictor of divorce (Dew, 2012).

73. Be Supportive During Life Changes

Life is full of changes, and it’s important to be there for each other during these times. Whether it’s a career change, moving to a new city, or dealing with loss, your support can make these transitions easier for your partner.

Tip: Show empathy and offer help where needed. Simple gestures can mean a lot during challenging times.

74. Give and Receive Constructive Criticism

Giving and receiving constructive criticism can foster growth and understanding in a relationship. It allows both partners to learn and grow, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced relationship.

Example: Instead of saying, "You never help with housework," try saying, "I would appreciate it if you could help me with housework sometimes."

75. Celebrate Each Other’s Achievements

Celebrating your partner’s achievements, both big and small, can boost their self-esteem and make them feel valued. It also strengthens your bond and creates shared happiness in your relationship.

Fact: A study by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that how couples react to each other's good news can predict their overall relationship satisfaction (Gable et al., 2004).

77. Never Take Each Other for Granted

Taking each other for granted can lead to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction in a relationship. Instead, show appreciation for your partner regularly. This can make them feel loved and valued.

78. Don’t Compare Your Relationship

Every relationship is unique and has its own strengths and weaknesses. Comparing your relationship to others can lead to unrealistic expectations and discontent. Instead, focus on building and nurturing your unique bond.

Tip: Instead of comparing, learn from other relationships. Take the good and leave the bad.

79. Learn to Apologize

Being able to admit when you’re wrong and apologize sincerely is crucial for a healthy relationship. It shows respect and understanding for your partner’s feelings and fosters mutual respect.

Apologies aren’t meant to change the past, they are meant to change the future.

– Kevin Hancock

Frequently Asked Question

Why is it important to keep a relationship exciting?

Keeping a relationship exciting is crucial for its long-term survival. Excitement brings happiness, satisfaction, and a sense of novelty which can strengthen the bond between you and your partner. Moreover, it also promotes personal growth, trust, and mutual respect in the relationship.

Can these strategies help revitalize a relationship that has become dull or routine?

Absolutely! These strategies can inject new life into a relationship that’s become routine or stagnant. Encouraging personal growth, practicing mutual respect, celebrating each other’s achievements, and never taking each other for granted can all contribute to revitalizing your relationship.

How often should we implement these strategies to keep our relationship exciting?

There’s no set rule as to how often these strategies should be implemented. Every relationship is unique, and what works best will vary. However, the principles of respect, trust, and support should be constant in your relationship.

Regularly showing appreciation, encouraging each other, and maintaining open communication can be practiced daily for the best results.

What if my partner is not willing to implement these strategies?

Communication is key in any relationship. If your partner is hesitant, have an open and honest conversation about your desire to keep the relationship exciting and long-lasting.

Explain the benefits of these strategies. However, remember to respect your partner’s feelings and ideas, as their comfort and consent are crucial.

Conclusion

So there you have it! Just remember, keeping a relationship exciting is all about showing love, respect, and supporting each other through thick and thin. Relationships are unique and special, just like you and your partner.

Embrace the tips shared in this article, and you’re well on your way to enjoying a vibrant, fulfilling, and exciting relationship that stands the test of time. Happy loving!

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Brenda Calisaan is a psychology graduate who strongly desires to impact society positively. She aspires to spread awareness and knowledge about mental health, its importance, and its impact on individuals and society.

She also has a passion for working with children and hopes to dedicate her career to positively impacting their lives.

Outside of work, Brenda is an avid traveler and enjoys exploring new experiences. She is also a music enthusiast and loves to listen to a variety of genres. When she's not on the road or working, Brenda can often be found watching interesting YouTube videos, such as Ted-Ed content.