How to Know if You’re Bisexual (24 Signs & Tips)

Sexuality is a complex and personal aspect of our lives. Sometimes, we may find ourselves attracted to people of different genders, leading us to question our sexual orientation.

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation where a person is attracted to people of their own gender and people of other genders. In other words, bisexual people have the capacity to feel romantic, emotional, and/or sexual attraction to more than one gender.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you might be bisexual, know that you’re not alone in this journey of self-discovery. Many people question their sexual orientation at some point in their lives.

In this article, we’ll explore some of the most common signs that you might be bisexual, as well as some tips for coming to terms with your sexuality. Are you ready to learn more about yourself?

You Have Asked Yourself Questions About Your Sexuality

One of the biggest signs that you might be bisexual is simply that you’re questioning your sexuality in the first place.

You might find yourself asking questions like:

  • Am I attracted to people of multiple genders?
  • Have I ever had crushes on people of the same gender as me?
  • Do I feel like my sexuality is more fluid or flexible than I previously thought?
"Side note, feeling confused about their sexuality is not something most straight people go through."

— Tavi Hawn, LCSW-C | Consultant | Founder, Reclaim & Rise Therapy | Author, "The Gender Identity Guide for Parents"

If you’re spending a lot of time wondering if you might be bi, that’s a pretty good indication that there’s something there worth exploring.

That Warm Feeling in Your Pants Can Tell You a Lot

You know that warm, tingly feeling you get in your pants when you’re around someone you’re attracted to? Pay attention to when and how you experience that sensation.

  • Do you feel it when you’re flirting with someone of the same gender as you?
  • Do you get butterflies in your stomach when you’re watching a steamy scene in a movie with actors of multiple genders?

These physical cues can be a powerful way to tap into your own desire and attraction. Of course, everyone’s body is different, and not everyone experiences attraction in the same way. But if you find yourself consistently getting turned on by people of more than one gender, that’s a pretty strong sign that you might be bisexual.

The “Just a Phase” Phrase Upsets You

If you find yourself getting upset or frustrated when people dismiss bisexuality as “just a phase,” that could be a sign that you have a personal stake in the matter.

"If you find yourself gutted when hearing this phrase, it perhaps may indicate a level of passion you have toward discovering your preference and want the same for anyone else going through the same struggle."

— Brenton Guice | Registered Dental Hygienist | Provisionally Licensed Professional Counselor, The Mental Hug

However, it’s important to note that being upset by biphobia doesn’t necessarily mean you’re bisexual yourself. You could also be a supportive ally who recognizes the harm that this kind of language can cause.

Ultimately, only you can know for sure whether your reaction to this phrase is coming from a place of personal identity or allyship. But either way, it’s a valuable and important perspective to have.

By speaking out against biphobia and defending the validity of bisexuality, you’re helping to create a world where everyone feels safe and free to be themselves.

Know That Your Sexual Orientation Can Be Fluid

Sexuality isn’t just one thing that stays the same forever—and that’s completely normal.

You might find yourself attracted to mostly one gender for a while, but then suddenly, you start noticing people of another gender catching your eye. Or maybe you’ve always been attracted to multiple genders, but the intensity of those attractions shifts and evolves as you grow and experience new things.

That’s the beauty of fluidity—it allows you to explore and discover new aspects of yourself. So, what if your feelings today aren’t the same as they were last year? That’s just part of who you are! Embrace it. No rush, no stress.

Recognize Bisexuality Doesn’t Always Mean a 50/50 Attraction

Now, let’s bust a common myth about bisexuality. Some people think that being bisexual means you’re always equally attracted to men and women, like a perfect 50/50 split.

But guess what? That’s not true at all!

You might find yourself more drawn to one gender over another, or your attraction could fluctuate depending on the person or situation. It’s like having a favorite flavor of ice cream—you might love both chocolate and vanilla, but sometimes you’re just in the mood for one more than the other.

Feeling more one way than the other doesn’t throw your bisexuality out the window. It’s all about what feels right for you—not fitting into a box that someone else has created.

Don’t Rush To Label Yourself

Labels can be helpful for some people, giving them a sense of belonging and identity. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to rush to label yourself right away! It’s okay to take your time and explore your feelings without the pressure of putting a name to them.

If you’re not ready to call yourself bisexual yet, that’s totally fine! You can use other words that feel more comfortable, like “questioning,” “curious,” or even just “queer.”

Remember, even if you do decide on a label, it doesn’t have to be permanent. As we talked about earlier, sexuality can be fluid, so if you find that a different label feels more authentic to you down the line, that’s okay too. 

Or perhaps you decide labels aren’t for you—that’s equally valid, too. At the end of the day, labels are just that… mere terms that people created to define something. And sometimes, concepts as complex as gender cannot be easily defined or confined within those terms.

Understand It’s Okay To Be Unsure

Figuring out your sexual orientation can be a confusing and sometimes overwhelming process. There may be times when you feel unsure about your attractions or question whether you’re “bisexual enough.”

Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s totally okay to be unsure!

It’s like trying a new food—sometimes, you need to take a few bites before you decide if you like it or not. The same goes for exploring your sexuality. It’s okay to take your time, sit with your feelings, and let things unfold at their own pace.

And here’s a little secret: even people who seem to have it all figured out sometimes have moments of uncertainty. So, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to have all the answers right now.

Remember, You’re the One Who Defines Your Identity

Only you can say who you are—and that includes your sexual identity. 

So, if you feel a connection to the label “bisexual,” then embrace it! Own it with pride, and don’t let anyone else’s opinions or assumptions sway you. Your identity is valid, no matter how you choose to express it.

On the flip side, if you don’t feel like the label “bisexual” quite fits, that’s okay too. Maybe you prefer terms like “pansexual,” “queer,” or something else entirely.

The beauty of sexual orientation is that there’s no one-size-fits-all definition. You get to choose the words that feel most authentic to you. At the end of the day, your identity is yours and yours alone.

Understand That Your Bisexuality Doesn’t Define Your Entire Identity

Your bisexuality is just one part of the amazing person you are. You’re also a friend, maybe a sibling, a talent at something cool, or the person who tells the best jokes. You’re made up of so many different things that make you, you.

And your bisexuality? It’s just one of the many colors in the palette of your colorful personality.

Being bisexual doesn’t mean you’re suddenly put into a box where everything about you has to be related to it. It doesn’t have to be the most important thing people know about you—unless you want it to be.

Remember to nurture all aspects of yourself—your hobbies, your relationships, your goals, and your passions. Your bisexuality is a beautiful part of you, but it’s by no means the only part worth celebrating.

You’ve Had Some “Intense Friendships” in the Past

Looking back, have you ever had a friendship that felt a bit, well, extra? Maybe you found yourself thinking about this friend a lot, wanting to hang out with them more than anyone else, or feeling a bit jittery when they were around.

It’s not uncommon for people who are questioning their sexuality to look back on past friendships and realize that there may have been some romantic or sexual feelings mixed in.

Now, if these “intense friendships” sound oh too familiar to you, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re bisexual. But it could be a sign that you’re open to emotional connections with people of different genders, and it’s definitely worth exploring further.

Notice Who You Fantasize About

Who do you picture when you’re daydreaming about a romantic date or a steamy makeout session? Is it always someone of the opposite gender, or do you find yourself fantasizing about people of the same gender too?

Your fantasies can reveal a lot about who you’re attracted to and what kinds of experiences you’re curious about. And the best part? There’s no judgment or expectations in the fantasy world—you’re free to explore and imagine whatever (and whoever) you want!

Take note of those fantasies and see if you notice any patterns or trends.

Reflect on Your History of Crushes

Time to take a trip down memory lane! Think back on all the crushes you’ve had throughout your life—from your first playground infatuation to your most recent office crush. Who were those people, and what drew you to them?

Make a mental list of your top five crushes. Now, look at that list—do you see a pattern? Are they all people of the same gender, or is there some diversity there? 

Of course, having crushes on people of different genders doesn’t necessarily mean you’re bisexual. You might just appreciate beauty in all its forms, or you might be drawn to certain personalities or qualities regardless of gender.

But if you find that your crushes tend to span across gender lines, it could be a sign that your attraction is more fluid than you realized.

"Maybe you've noticed one of your friendships has gotten really intense or involved in a way that feels more like a romantic relationship. Maybe you have childhood memories of friendships feeling that way. For some of us, recognizing these feelings and admitting them to ourselves was one of the first signs we weren't straight." 

— Tavi Hawn, LCSW-C | Consultant | Founder, Reclaim & Rise Therapy | Author, "The Gender Identity Guide for Parents"

Think About the Types of People You Like in Movies or Books

When you’re watching a movie or reading a book, who are the characters that make your heart skip a beat? Is it always the dashing male lead, or do you sometimes find yourself crushing on the quirky female best friend too?

  • Keep an eye on which characters resonate with you.
  • Often connect with characters of different genders? It can be a hint.
  • Your choice of fictional crushes might say something about you, too.

Of course, being attracted to a fictional character doesn’t automatically translate to real-life attraction, but it can be a fun and low-stakes way to explore what kinds of people and qualities capture your interest.

You Just Know It

Sometimes, deep down, there’s a voice that seems to know things before we consciously put the pieces together. And when it comes to your sexuality, you might just have a feeling that you can’t quite shake. You know there’s something there when you think about being bisexual, even if you’re not ready to shout it from the rooftops. That inner conviction, that whisper from your gut saying, “This is me,” is worth listening to.

  • Trust your gut—it’s wiser than you might think.
  • That persistent inner voice? It’s often right on the money.
  • No need for a grand announcement until you’re comfortable.

Just because it’s clear to you doesn’t mean you have to have everything figured out or have answers to every question. Trusting that inner feeling and knowing it’s perfectly fine to take your time to explore what it really means is part of embracing who you are.

What Do Your Dreams Say?

Have you ever woken up from a particularly vivid dream and thought, “What the heck was that about?” Sometimes, our subconscious minds can give us clues about our desires and identities that we might not be fully aware of in our waking lives.

Of course, dreams are notoriously weird and symbolic, so it’s important not to read too much into them. Just because you had a dream about making out with your same-gender best friend doesn’t necessarily mean you’re bisexual (although it might be worth exploring those feelings if they resonate with you).

But if you find yourself consistently having dreams that challenge your assumptions about your sexuality, it could be a sign that there’s more to your attraction than you’ve previously acknowledged.

Pay attention to how those dreams make you feel:

  • Do they excite you?
  • Do they confuse you?
  • Do they scare you?

Consider the Emotional and Physical Aspects of Attraction

When you’re trying to figure out if you’re bisexual, it can be helpful to think about the different ways that attraction can manifest—both emotionally and physically.

On the emotional side, ask yourself:

  • Do I feel a strong sense of connection with people of multiple genders?
  • Do I find myself wanting to get to know them on a deeper level, to share my thoughts and feelings with them, and to support them in their own journeys?

On the physical side, consider:

  • Do I feel a sense of excitement or electricity when I’m around certain people, regardless of their gender?
  • Do I find myself wanting to be close to them, to touch them or be touched by them?
  • Do I feel a sense of desire or longing that goes beyond just aesthetic appreciation?

Of course, everyone experiences attraction differently, and there’s no one “right” way to be bisexual. Some people might feel a strong emotional connection to multiple genders but only feel sexually attracted to one. Others might feel sexually attracted to multiple genders but only want to pursue romantic relationships with one.

The key is to pay attention to your own unique experience of attraction and to honor what feels authentic and true for you.

You Relate To Other Bi or Queer People

One of the most powerful ways to explore your sexuality is to connect with other people who have gone through similar experiences. If you find yourself relating to the stories and experiences of other bi or queer people, it could be a sign that you’re part of that community too.

Maybe it’s about their struggles, the way they talk about attraction, or their journey to self-acceptance—whatever it is, if it feels like they’re reading pages from your own diary, it’s worth noticing.

Of course, everyone’s experience of sexuality is unique, and just because you relate to someone else’s story doesn’t necessarily mean that you share the same identity. But if you find yourself consistently drawn to bi and queer spaces and communities, it could be a sign that you’ve found your people.

Be Open To the Spectrum of Attractions Within Bisexuality

The reality is that bisexuality encompasses a wide range of attractions and experiences that don’t always fit into that narrow definition.

  • Some bisexual people might be attracted to multiple genders but have a preference for one over the others (just like what we’ve talked about above).
  • Others might find that their attraction to different genders feels qualitatively different—for example, they might experience romantic attraction to one gender and sexual attraction to another.

There are also many people who identify as pansexual, which means that they’re attracted to people regardless of gender. And there are people who use labels like “queer” or “fluid” to describe an attraction that feels more expansive and harder to pin down.

The point is, there’s no one “right” way to be bisexual—and it’s okay if your experience of attraction doesn’t fit neatly into a box. The most important thing is to stay open to the full spectrum of your desires and to allow yourself to explore and express your sexuality in ways that feel authentic and true to you.

Give Yourself Permission To Explore Your Identity Safely

It’s totally okay to explore who you are but do it in a way that makes you feel safe. This means giving yourself permission to take things at your own pace and to set boundaries around what you are and aren’t willing to do.

If you’re feeling nervous or unsure about pursuing a same-sex relationship or experience, that’s totally normal. It’s okay to start small, maybe by flirting with someone you’re attracted to or going on a casual date. You don’t have to dive into the deep end right away.

It’s also important to prioritize your physical and emotional safety as you explore. This means getting tested regularly for STIs if you’re sexually active, using protection like condoms and dental dams, and only engaging in activities that feel good and consensual for everyone involved.

Remember: Give yourself permission to take your time, to ask questions, and to change your mind as you learn more about yourself. And if something doesn’t feel right or safe, trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to speak up or walk away.

Connect With the LGBTQ+ Community For Support

Being part of a group where everyone understands can make a big difference. When you’re around people who have been where you are, you can feel supported and get good advice.

Plus, being part of the LGBTQ+ community can be a lot of fun! You’ll have the chance to let loose, be yourself, and celebrate your identity in a space where you know you’ll be accepted and celebrated for who you are.

There are so many ways to get involved with the LGBTQ+ community—you can attend Pride events, join queer social or activist groups, or simply make an effort to befriend other LGBTQ+ people in your daily life.

So don’t be afraid to reach out and get involved.

"Know that if you feel you are bisexual, there is help out there, and you definitely do not have to figure it all out on your own."

— Brenton Guice | Registered Dental Hygienist | Provisionally Licensed Professional Counselor, The Mental Hug

Talk About Your Feelings With Someone You Trust

As you’re exploring your bisexuality, it’s important to have someone you can talk to about your feelings and experiences. This could be a close friend, a family member, a therapist, or anyone else who you trust and feel comfortable opening up to.

Having a supportive ear to turn to can be incredibly valuable as you navigate this new chapter in your life. It’s a chance to process your emotions, ask questions, and get feedback and advice from someone who cares about you and wants to see you thrive.

Of course, coming out to others can be scary—especially if you’re not sure how they’ll react. It’s okay to take your time and to be selective about who you choose to share your identity with. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification for who you are.

Understand That Bisexuality Is Not a Phase

One of the most common misconceptions about bisexuality is that “it’s just a phase”—something that people go through before eventually “picking a side” and identifying as either gay or straight.

The truth is bisexuality is a valid and legitimate sexual orientation in its own right.

For many bi people, their attraction to multiple genders is a core part of who they are—not something that they’ll eventually “grow out of” or leave behind. Just like being gay or straight, being bi is a fundamental aspect of a person’s identity that doesn’t change or go away over time.

And if someone tries to dismiss your sexuality as a phase or a fad, remember that they’re the one with the problem—not you. Your identity is valid and real, no matter what anyone else says or thinks.

You Have Answered Lots of “Am I Bi?” Quizzes Online

You know, the ones where they ask you questions about your attraction, your fantasies, your relationship history, and then give you a label or a score at the end.

For many people, these quizzes can be a fun and low-stakes way to start thinking about their sexuality and exploring whether they might be bi. But it’s important to remember that no online quiz can definitively tell you whether you’re bisexual or not.

So if you’ve taken a bunch of “Am I Bi?” quizzes online, and you’re still not sure where you stand, don’t stress. It’s okay to be uncertain or to still be figuring things out.

And remember—no matter what any quiz or assessment says, your bisexuality is valid and real. You don’t need anyone else’s approval or validation to be who you are.

If the Term Bisexual Feels Like a Good Fit for You

At the end of the day, the only person who can truly know if you’re bisexual is you. No quiz, no assessment, and no external validation can give you the answers you’re looking for—you have to look within yourself and trust your own instincts and experiences.

If you’ve been exploring your sexuality and the term “bisexual” feels like a good fit for you, then congratulations—you’ve taken a big step in claiming your identity and living your truth!

So if the term “bisexual” feels like a good fit for you, wear it with pride. Own your identity, and know that you’re part of a vibrant and beautiful community of people who are changing the world just by being ourselves.

"How do you know if you're bisexual? If saying "I'm bisexual" feels good, then congratulations — you're bisexual! If it doesn't, there are plenty of other identity labels out there for you to explore, but you also don't need to feel pressure to pin it down."

—Ellen Eve Mischinski | Educator and Sexuality Coach

Excerpt From the Expert

At 23, I began questioning my sexuality. Was I a lesbian? The word sounded wrong on my tongue. I had dated men in high school and college, but at this point, the last two people I dated were women.

The struggle with my sexual identity then was thinking I had to choose. This was the early 90s, and “love is love is love” didn’t exist. It wasn’t taboo to be gay, but there was less wiggle room than there is today.

At the time, a friend who identified as bisexual invited me to a bisexual women’s group. There, I heard women sharing their experiences.

A married (to a man) woman with children talked about falling in love with another woman. Some women said they were attracted physically to men but emotionally to females. Hearing their stories alleviated my struggle to think I had to make a choice.

It gave me breathing room and allowed me not to put myself into one box, a box I was never comfortable being in. Not because of the stereotyping of being a lesbian but because I was still attracted to men and thought I would have to give that up.

Even while being in love with a much older woman in the middle of a secret affair, I still didn’t identify as “lesbian.” (I know, I know. If it quacks like a duck…) Deep down, I knew I could still love a man.

Over the years, I’ve had my share of arguments with my partners, both men and women. They didn’t like me calling myself bi. The man said I was straight because I was with him. The woman said I was a lesbian because I was with her. I had to explain myself to them.

Their insistence on my identity felt like they were trying to extinguish who I was. Who I am.

Being bi, at least for me, is not about being on the fence, it’s not about not being able to make a decision, and it’s not about keeping my options open. It’s about how I feel inside.

Felice Cohen | Speaker | Author, “Half In: A Coming-of-Age Memoir of Forbidden Love

Final Thoughts

Coming to terms with your bisexuality is a journey, and it’s okay to take your time. Remember, you don’t have to come out to anyone if you’re not ready or if it doesn’t feel safe. Your sexual orientation is a personal part of your identity, and you get to choose when and how to share it with others.

It’s also worth noting that you don’t have to label yourself as bisexual if it doesn’t resonate with you. Some people find labels empowering, while others prefer to avoid them altogether.

What matters most is that you stay true to yourself and surround yourself with people who love and accept you for who you are. Anyone who doesn’t respect your choices and your identity doesn’t deserve a place in your life.

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Clariza is a passionate writer and editor who firmly believes that words have great power. She has a degree in BS Psychology, which gives her an in-depth understanding of the complexities of human behavior. As a woman of science and art, she fused her love for both fields in crafting insightful articles on lifestyle, mental health, and social justice to inspire others and advocate for change.

In her leisure time, you can find her sitting in the corner of her favorite coffee shop downtown, deeply immersed in her bubble of thoughts. Being an art enthusiast that she is, she finds bliss in exploring the rich world of fiction writing and diverse art forms.