How to Politely Remind Someone to Pay You

There may come a time when someone who owes you money fails to pay on the due date. When this happens, how do you approach the situation?

If you’re someone who finds it challenging to remind people of their unpaid dues, then these tips are for you.

According to experts, here are ways to politely remind someone to pay you:

It can feel really awkward when someone should have paid you but hasn’t gotten around to it yet. You know the money is rightfully yours, but you don’t want to risk coming across as rude.

Thankfully, there are ways that you can ask for the payment you deserve without coming across as rude.

Keep in mind that there’s nothing particularly rude about asking for money they owe you

Unless you’re particularly aggressive or impolite when you reach out to someone, there is nothing particularly rude about asking for money they owe you.

In fact, it’s far ruder to not pay someone without an explanation as to why than it is to ask for payment to be made. So don’t feel shy about reaching out.

Related: How to Politely Ask for Money Owed

Don’t start by being aggressive or demanding

Try and start as politely as possible. You can be direct but phrase your request nicely. Don’t start by being aggressive or demanding.

Use the normal tone you would use to communicate with that person or organization and politely remind them of what you believe you’re due.

Use some empathy in your approach

If you’re worried about seeming rude, try being a bit empathetic in your approach.

Have a clear plan in place

One of the most frustrating things about late payment is the feeling of it being totally out of your control. You can reduce this frustration by having a clear plan in place.

For example, you might want to decide you will reach out three times, waiting a week in between each. After that, you’ll either pursue the matter through legal action or let go of the matter entirely.

Start requiring upfront payment and auto-debit for your services

Impressions matter, and when you make this slight shift in how you take payments, you’ll see big changes in customer satisfaction, sales, and retention.

Are you still involving your clients? This common mistake will cost you time and money and possibly your business.

I’ll give you an example.

Our house was about to go on the market about a month ago. We scheduled movers, and the date was set. If the movers didn’t arrive on time, the house stagers, photographers, and the real estate agent would have to be pushed back.

My stomach was in knots the week leading up to the move, wondering if the movers would show up on time. Even my spouse was questioning the validity of the moving company and repeatedly asked if I’d confirmed the date and time. The company required no upfront payment.

The next month I need to hire movers again. The window is short, and there is no room for error. I pick up my phone to call the first moving company and hesitate. Instead, I dial another company.

I am confident and at ease knowing this second company has my information, credit card, address, and phone number. No stomach aches! The first company did not get my repeat business because consumers don’t want to work with a nice company, and they want a professional to get the job done!

This is true for all industries; yours is no exception. As a consultant to small businesses, clients’ number one struggle is taking payment upfront and over the phone.

Small business owners have every excuse not to accept credit cards and charge the client in full or partially before delivering their services. Excuses range from discomfort in giving credit card info to a suspicion that clients will feel uneasy.

The reasons vary, but most come from assumptions that aren’t true.

Many small businesses even hire staff and pay for tracking systems to chase down unpaid invoices as they host meetings after meeting to discuss the best way to collect overdue payments. This practice is outdated and drains the company of financial and personal resources.

If you’re still invoicing clients, it’s not too late. Simply reach out to clients and let them know you’ve updated your terms and policies as a company and now require payment upfront for and auto-debit for your services.

Impressions matter, and when you make this slight shift in how you take payment, you’ll see big changes in customer satisfaction, sales, and retention.

With the numerous credit card processing options available, there is no excuse not to take payment upfront from your client. Stop the headache, the time loss, and the future business loss due to not operating as the in-demand professional that you are.

Add the word “friendly” in your headline or as an opener

The best way to remind people to pay you is to add the word “friendly” in your headline or as an opener. This makes the other party more eager to engage with you because they would see you as someone being ‘nice’ to them.

In many instances, I’ve used this technique as well, as my clients are doing this. I can count on one hand the times this didn’t work. And when it didn’t, the other party normally comes back to you with another date they can commit to.

It’s never easy to follow up on payment.

When someone doesn’t fulfill an invoice, you often have to chase them down and firmly remind them. But there are good ways to do this that don’t provoke conflict.

Assume that there’s likely no malicious intent

First, always go in with the assumption that payment slipped through the cracks. There’s likely no malicious intent.

Be confident; you deserved to be paid

Second, be confident. You delivered something and deserve to be paid.

Ask if there are any extenuating circumstances that will prevent them from fulfilling the invoice by a specific date.

Nicely explain to the person you are asking; try not to beat around the bush

As a business professional with 25+ years of experience, I have had my fair share of needing to remind people to pay me—both for personal and professional reasons.

Reminding someone to pay you is a task that can be done in various ways. Though some tactics are better than others, there isn’t really one right or wrong way to get this done.

Here are some tips to use when you want to politely remind someone to pay you.

Be understanding; we all forget a few things on occasion

Sometimes, when a person owes you money, they honestly have just forgotten to pay you back. It isn’t that they don’t have the funds or don’t want to pay, but merely that they forgot. We all forget a few things on occasion, so remember to cut the person some slack from the onset.

“Kill them with kindness” instead of being aggressive in your request

Even if you are in the right and they are in the wrong, they might get defensive should you attack them or be rude when you ask for the money you are owed. So instead of being aggressive in your request, kill them with kindness.

Related: 30+ Reasons Why Kindness Is Important

If you use a friendly tone and demeanor when you ask someone to pay you, they are more likely to want to oblige.

Be direct but don’t be aggressive

Being direct doesn’t necessarily mean aggressive. But if someone owes you money, you are entitled to ask for it back. Nicely explain this to the person you are asking, and try not to beat around the bush.

Being direct will also help ensure that they know your expectations of them.

Be willing not to get paid back

Though this isn’t a scenario that many want to hear, it should be explored. Many years ago, I was taught, “Never lend out money that you can’t afford to lose.” Of course, if I loan someone money, I expect to be paid back out of principal.

However, I never give out money that I can’t afford to part from. Before you lend money to anyone, first consider if you can afford not to get paid back. Of course, you want to help your friends, but you first need to help yourself.

If you’ve tried the tactics above, and the person you are asking for the money from is an employer who is refusing to pay you, it might be time to get the authorities involved.

This step most likely won’t be fun, but you have the right to get paid for your work.

Whatever you do, believe that you will get the money owed to you, and hopefully, the power of positive thinking will help you do just that.

Just point out that you need to pay your bills too

Chances are you don’t actually need the repaid moment to cover your expenses, but just pointing out that you have bills too can be enough to remind them this repayment matters.

Keep your reminder short and to the point

When you are owed money, it can be frustrating to have to continually remind someone to pay up. You may feel like you’re nagging or rude, but it’s important to get paid for your work.

So, what is the best way to politely remind someone to pay you?

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to this problem, as different situations require different tactics. But here are some general guidelines that may help you hopefully get paid in a respectful and professional way.

Here are a few steps on how to politely remind someone to pay you:

Send a gentle reminder via email or text message

If you have the person’s contact information, it may be helpful to send a reminder via email or text message. Keep your message short and sweet, and avoid sounding demanding or threatening.

Follow up with a phone call if necessary

If you do not receive a response to your initial message, it may be necessary to follow up with a phone call. Again, be polite and respectful when speaking to the person.

Discuss payment options and deadlines with the person

If you are unable to resolve the issue of repayment by phone or email, it may be helpful to sit down with the person and discuss his or her payment options.

This might include discussing potential deadlines for making a payment or alternate methods of payment (e.g., cash, check, credit card, etc.).

Seek legal assistance if necessary

If you have exhausted all other methods of reminder and the person still refuses to pay, you may need to seek legal assistance.

This is typically a last resort option and should only be considered if you are confident that the debt is valid and you are certain that the person can pay.

Related: What Happens When You Sue Someone With No Money

With these steps, you should be able to remind someone to pay you politely and professionally.

Remember, it is important to be respectful and keep your cool when dealing with this type of situation. Getting angry or acting aggressively will only make the situation worse.

Simply ask when you can expect payment and thank them for their time

If you run your own business, chances are you’ve had to issue a reminder or two to clients who still haven’t paid their bills.

There’s no need to get fussy or let the situation stress you out; just follow these tips from our expert business consultants on how to politely remind someone that it’s time to pay up!

It’s important to always be professional

When you’re sending a reminder, it’s important to always be professional. Start off by addressing the person by their full name and ensure that any spelling or grammar in the email is correct.

You also don’t want to be too pushy or demanding; simply ask when you can expect payment and thank them for their time.

Be clear with what you’re asking for

It’s important to be clear about what you ask in your email. Make sure to state exactly what payments are outstanding and when they were originally due.

You should also indicate how long you will be willing to wait before taking further action, such as referring the issue to a collections agency.

Remain calm and act with grace

No matter how professional and clear you are in your reminders, there will inevitably be some people who simply don’t respond. This can be frustrating, but it’s important to remain calm and act with grace.

Try not to take the issue personally; just send one more reminder and move on.

People tend to forget; don’t be rude

First of all, remember that there’s no need to be rude about it! Most people appreciate a gentle reminder if they forget to pay you. It’s true; people tend to forget what they owe more than what they’re owed, but don’t say that’s never happened to you either. It’s perfectly normal.

However, you do want to get your money back eventually. Here are a few ways to remind someone:

Send a quick text or discuss payment arrangements

In general, sending a quick email or text message reminding them of the payment that is still due is always a good idea and place to start.

If they owe you a large sum of money, consider speaking with them in person or over the phone to discuss repayment arrangements. Sometimes life gets at you, and you have the chance to make it easier for everyone.

Lending money always comes with stakes. You never really know when you will get it back. But there is no need to shy away from asking for your money after a certain time.

Here are some of the most polite ways to subtly give hints to someone to pay you back.

Slip during a conversation

While having a random conversation, try to randomly mention the fact that you are running low on cash and need any extra cash you can get your hands on. This way, hopefully, the other person will read between the lines and pay you back.

Send them a meme

At the risk of sounding immature, you could always try and send them a meme related to giving/returning loans. Saves you the conversation and also puts your thoughts across the other person.

Ask how much more time they need until they pay you back

If a good amount of time has passed since they borrowed money, it is advisable to be straight and ask how much more time they need until they pay you back.

Do it virtually and not in person

This is never a fun conversation, and you should try and get a read on the situation before addressing it.

For example, do you think they completely forget about owing you money, are they avoiding it because they might be a little short, or are they trying to brush it off for their own selfish reasons?

If you know the person—even a little bit—you might be able to understand the situation a little bit better.

My biggest piece of advice that can apply to most situations is to do it virtually and not in person.

This might sound cowardly or silly, but nobody likes being confronted, and it’s much worse in person than via a text, message, or email. Or even a phone call.

Save them the possible embarrassment—and it might even make it easier on yourself—by just doing it via message. Especially if it’s the first time you’re reminding them of the money they owe you, it’s not wrong to do it virtually.

If you’ve done this and some time has passed, you might want to do it in person because it will have more effect, but there’s nothing wrong with doing it through your phone.

Make a little joke to accompany your request

Another thing you can do is make a little joke to accompany your request. It might sound like a ‘dad joke,’ but if someone owed me money, I’d add in “The interest is really growing” with a laughing emoji or something like that.

Lighten the mood, don’t make them feel like it’s a major issue between the two of you, and add in a little fun. You’ll still get your point across, won’t make things too intense, and shouldn’t damage any relationship if you can do it in a light, polite way.

Ask about their well-being

Sometimes people don’t pay debts because they have some personal challenges. Asking about their personal well-being could be a good way to start a reminder. That way, you’d know if that is a good time to ask.

Be direct and respectful; make sure your tone is calm and polite

It works well to directly ask someone when they plan to pay you the money they owe.

Sometimes people just forget, so give a little “Hello, how are you? I just called to ask if you would be able to pay it back soon?” You must understand that tone sets the stage for any conversation, so always make sure your tone is calm and polite.

Offer them different payment options

Informing them that you have various means through which you can receive the money they borrowed when they are ready to pay makes a really good, polite reminder.

Let them know that some options will be better than others when they want to repay the loan, then politely ask when that would be.

Ask for their help

Asking them for assistance is also a polite way to remind them they are supposed to pay you back some money.

You could make it look like returning a favor and then don’t have to go through the awkward moment of just asking for your money back.

It’s best to do it face to face; be direct

The fact is that we are only recently starting to talk about money in a frank way comparatively because it has been considered a taboo subject in the past. Still, there are etiquettes, nuances, and a code of behavior you need to consider and follow when asking for money, so it’s done in a nice and polite manner.

Below we discuss two examples for reminding someone to pay you politely, one in a professional setting and the other in a personal setting.

How to politely remind someone to pay you (when it is a friend):

Your tone can be misconstrued if you do it over text or email

When asking a friend to pay you money owed, it’s best to do it face to face and be direct. Doing it over text or email is not a good idea because your tone can be misconstrued, and when it comes to friends, it’s best not to take that risk.

Try to be empathetic and consider your friend’s financial situation

Try to be empathetic and consider your friend’s financial situation if you are aware of any difficulties they might be in. Give them time to repay you and try to be as civil as possible.

Try to keep track of who paid last time you went out together

If it’s a norm for you and your friends to go out together, try to keep track of who paid last time, and maybe your friend will pay the next time without you having to remind them.

Try to let it go; remember to lend only that amount of money you can afford to lose

Finally, if you know that it would be hard for your friend to pay you for any reason, try to let it go and remember to lend only that amount of money you can afford to lose next time, be it friends or acquaintances.

How to politely remind someone to pay you (in a professional setting):

When it comes to professional settings, say it’s a vendor who was sent an invoice, but they haven’t made the payment.

Send a gentle reminder through email

You should start with a gentle reminder through email. Let them know that an invoice is due for them to be paid. Include the invoice number and any relevant reference that must be included.

If they still don’t make the payment, get more direct with them, send an email or a message that is to the point but still polite.

If it still doesn’t work, it’s better to get on a phone call with them to get your payment.

Set a date each month to ask for the money back

It can be difficult to ask someone to pay you back as it can damage the relationship or make the situation awkward.

However, if you treat this like a monthly statement of accounts, where all outstanding amounts are paid at a certain time, it feels more like a routine than a relationship or emotional problem.

Take me as an example. I would like to set the date for the 20th of every month. On that day, I would send a message in the morning to everyone who owed me money that month.

Ninety percent of the time, people would transfer the money back within a day. And the best part is that you can always follow up on the conversation by planning the next meeting or trip with this guy.

Provide an “out” for why that payment was not received

Reminding someone to pay you can always be a touchy subject. However, if you remember to always provide an “out” for why that payment was not received, you can lighten your approach and have a better chance at success.

Sending an email with a simple “Past Due” or “Request for Payment” subject line or message can sound accusatory, even though that was not your intent.

By starting your email with “We know it probably slipped your mind”, or “We know things have been busy,” you immediately provide the person an out, lessening any embarrassment they may have felt for not taking care of this matter.

In providing your customer an out at the beginning, you send the message that you understand why there may have been a delay while at the same time reminding them that payment is due.

Don’t be afraid to give a discount

Want to try something new to get someone to pay you? Try to offer a discount for immediate payment.

Yes, it sounds counter-intuitive since most people try to add a penalty. But I’ve found that even if you try to add a penalty for late payment, customers will just pay the original amount, and that’s it.

I’ve never found trying to add a penalty to be effective anyway, and nobody will try to go after the small penalty if the original amount is paid.

A more effective technique than trying to add a penalty is offering a small discount to settle the invoice immediately.

Yes, it may seem silly to give a discount on the money you deserve, but it’s quicker and easier than chasing him with small claims or tying up money with lawyers. Try it; it works!

Change your communication tactics and take a psychologically sound approach

I’ve never once had to remind someone to give me my money back. But if it happens, I’m going to be straightforward. When dealing with people, you have to act without unnecessary emotions and be specific in your communication; then, there won’t be a problem with payment.

How to gently remind someone to pay back a debt:

Let me tell you a real-life story. One day my husband’s former employer did not pay him all the money for a job he had done. My husband contacted his boss via messenger twice, asking for the rest of the money back. The boss responded that the money would be paid soon, but it never happened.

Then, about a month later, my husband decided to change his communication tactics with the boss and take a psychologically sound approach.

My husband proposed an attractive project to his ex-boss; that is, he acted as an intermediary between the boss and the boss’s potential client. My husband did not offer the boss anything specific but only asked if he would take on the project or not.

His ex-boss got interested in a promising project and paid my husband his entire salary debt on the same day.

In the end, my husband used a clever tactic: instead of extorting his salary, he raised the chief’s importance in his own eyes. In fact, there was no project at all, but the approach was effective.

Make sure that they are not struggling financially

It is intimidating to ask for the money you have given back to someone because no one wants to seem like a burden.

But, there are ways through which one can ask for the money without triggering the lender, and here are some of them:

Try to check if their current financial situation is manageable

Sometimes, people merely forget that they owe you some money. Here, a gentle reminder would suffice. Before doing so, try to check if their current financial situation is manageable.

Or else, if you are kind enough, you can ask them to pay later. Here, you are not demanding the money you owe, but rather you gently remind them of it.

Seek help from your family members

If the borrowers are constantly ignoring your reminders, there might be something very serious going on with their lives. In such cases, seek help from your family members.

They would understand the situation and tell you when and how to ask for the money.

Turn the tables around; make them pay for you

Turn the tables around. If they are not facing any such issues, but are reluctant to pay the money they owe, the best way to overcome this is to make them pay for you.

You may ask them to pay for you in return when you are in a restaurant or a mall. But make sure that they are not struggling financially.

Be direct when you ask to be paid back

Asking someone to pay you back isn’t fun, but it’s sometimes vital to be direct and ask face to face. Just inquire if you haven’t seen any movement on their behalf to repay you.

While reaching out to someone to let them know you’re still waiting to be paid can be awkward, there are methods to keep the conversation from becoming tense for both parties. And, in many cases, the person to whom you lent money just forgot about it.

Don’t think the individual is ignoring you because everyone gets busy, and if they fail to repay you, don’t go on the offensive straight away. Give them a chance and call to respectfully request that the money be returned.

Lay everything down if you need the money for something specific

It’s fine to give your side of the story if you encounter resistance or if your friend appears dismissive about when or if they’ll be able to pay you back soon.

You’re effectively appealing to their better nature by expressing why you’re bringing up the subject of the loan by continuing to act as a friend and being calm.

Lay everything down if you need the money for something specific. Perhaps an unexpected huge expense caught you off guard, or you have a holiday or other large purchase on the horizon for which you require funds.

Make it obvious that they would be assisting you in the same way that you were assisting them by having the loan partially paid off.

Request repayment in a different format

I would like to say that you must return your valuable coin immediately. You don’t know how to ask for what is owed to you without appearing suspicious or impolite, and you don’t want to rock the boat for a few dollars. Some people have legitimate financial difficulties.

If your friend falls into this category, you can devise a more effective way to request your money back.

Give them a chance to offer you their services to make things even if they are skilled at something.

For example, if they are designers, you can ask them to create a logo for you. However, you should inform them beforehand, and they should only accept the offer if they are satisfied with it.

Schedule a meeting; it lets you accurately convey your emotions and thoughts

It’s a lot easier for emails, phone calls, and text messages to slide by unnoticed, but the same can’t be said for meetings.

For starters, they’re a lot more personal and let you accurately convey your emotions and thoughts, which can often get lost in translation when it comes to written text.

Secondly, you’re more likely to be taken seriously during a meeting because what you’re saying simply can’t be ignored or brushed aside in real-time.

Regardless of whether a virtual or face-to-face meeting makes more sense, reach out to them and schedule a meeting for a time that’s most convenient for both of you.

Going the extra mile and preparing a list of notes beforehand can really help drive the point home.

Ask them to update you on the thing they spent the money on

One effective method has been to ask them to update me on the thing they spent the money on. So if someone borrowed some money from you to pay for their tuition, just ask them if everything went well during the payment.

Say you hope they didn’t face some issue during the payment. That is one way to remind them that the payment to you is due.

Based on my experiences, people usually add how they intend to pay you back.

Let them pay for things for you

Another method could be to let them pay for things for you. For example, if you are planning a certain outing with them and the amount they borrowed from you was not a lot, letting them pay for dinner can make it even.

Make it more of a reminder than an order; be empathetic and understanding

I have lent money to some friends over the years, and I could say that the collection process was not always smooth sailing or successful.

It helps to get to the bottom of the issue and be as empathetic and understanding as possible.

Whenever I need to remind someone to pay up, I do so in the gentlest way possible. I make it more of a reminder than an order. I explain how I will be needing the funds and ask when they would be able to settle the remaining balance.

This method might not work for everyone, but I would rather go through the reminding process with kindness rather than force.

Frequently Asked Questions