Have you ever wondered about whether or not a man likes you? It might be difficult to know since there are so many mixed signals that could lead to yes or no.
However, experts say the following are tell-tale signs that a guy likes you:
I’ve seen quite a few patients regarding relationship issues. One such question I’ve often received is how to tell if a man is genuinely interested in you and wants to pursue a relationship.
I believe people should look for the following signs to answer this question.
He is consistent
- Is he consistent?
A man who is inconsistent is oftentimes not interested in a relationship or may even have another mental health problem or an avoidant attachment style.
Related: The 4 Different Types of Attachment Styles
It’s important to consider your own mental health while dating, and a man who is inconsistent can cause a lot of anxiety, or worse, induce a trauma bond.
He makes plans for you
- Does he make plans?
This one is pretty self-explanatory. If you are constantly making plans and he does not reach out first, it’s likely he’s not interested.
He wants to get to know you
- Does he ask personal questions?
A man who is interested in you will want to get to know you. You’ll find him asking questions about your day, your family, your friends, and everything in between.
Pay attention to how you feel
- How do you feel?
Lastly, and most importantly, pay attention to how you feel around a man you’re interested in. Do you feel calm and at peace? This is a good sign.
If you’re constantly anxious, worried he might abandon the relationship, or wondering if he will commit within a reasonable time frame, you’re likely with a man who is not interested.
Don’t overthink it
Contrary to what we’ve all come to believe, my number one piece of advice here is: guys generally don’t overcomplicate it, and you shouldn’t either.
If a guy likes you, he’ll find ways to show you he’s thinking of you— whether that’s by initiating conversations, asking to catch up in person, or even sending you things online, he thinks you’ll like or find funny.
Consistency is a major green flag here— so if he’s keeping in regular contact and seems excited to interact with you, take that as a good sign.
If he’s being too cryptic, don’t bother
If he’s not making an effort or is being hot and cold with you— don’t bother. Honest, clear, and reliable communication is so important to healthy relationships.
So if someone is being cryptic and playing games now, what makes you think they’ll suddenly change once you start dating?
At the end of the day, you need to ask yourself: “Do I really want to be pursuing a relationship with someone when I can’t even tell if they like me?” That’s a pretty low bar, and you deserve better than that for your relationships.
Don’t forget to make sure you actually like him
One of the biggest pitfalls I see in dating is that women become so fixated on whether a guy likes them— and totally lose sight of whether they actually like the guy back.
This is especially true for those who’ve had a bad run and are feeling insecure about dating— it’s so easy to get swept up in the ego boost of someone choosing you.
So make sure your dating escapades are a two-way street— him liking you is only one part of the equation, and it’s equally important that you get to know and like him.
When a guy likes you, there will be some obvious signs and others that are more subtle.
He is trying to determine if you are single
One sign is him trying to determine if you are single and available. He may come right out and ask, “Are you single?” or he may ask other questions to try to determine your current relationship status.
He remembers details
Another sign that he will remember details. He may remember details you share with him during conversations and things that are important to you, such as your parents’ names, the type of dog you have, or your favorite band.
He may even pick up a special gift based on something that you said. If you mention your favorite perfume or candy, he may bring some the next time he sees you.
Pay attention to his body language
When a guy likes you, he will make eye contact, turn his body towards you, and may touch your arm as you’re talking.
Related: Why is Body Language Important?
He makes an effort to spend time with you
The biggest sign that a guy likes you is the effort he puts forth to spend time with you.
If he reaches out to you to make plans, texts you to see how your day is going, and calls you to ask you out, he is showing you that spending time with you is important to him.
When a guy is interested, he is not going to play games or leave you wondering about his intentions. He will make it clear that he is into you!
He tells you he likes you
If he is communicating his fondness for you, he definitely likes you. Guys do not say they like a girl if they just want a hookup. When he is telling you how he feels, he is putting himself in a potentially vulnerable position.
If you’re feeling the same way, make it known to him too!
Related: 10+ Undeniable Signs He Likes You More Than a Friend
He makes plans in advance
A man who is not invested in you will only make plans on his terms, typically last minute too. A man who respects you will create plans in advance. If he likes you, he wants to find a time convenient for you.
He does little things to make you smile
Are you catching yourself smiling in the mirror or on the street?
Whether you’re next to him or miles away, his sweet texts and thoughtfulness are having an effect on your mood. He’s opening doors, making you laugh, and putting that extra pep in your step. Though it’s worth noting, actions always speak louder than words!
Even if he’s tired, he makes time for you
Forget the typical “work is so crazy busy” excuse. If your man is invested in you, he will forgo a few hours of sleep or work to spend quality time with you.
When a guy is into you, no matter his chaotic schedule, he will see you. Period.
He talks about himself as a way to impress you
He naturally starts to talk about himself, things he’s proud of, things he does, what he likes, and what he doesn’t like. This is due to his attraction towards you.
He’s attracted to you, so he’ll subconsciously try to find ways to make sure that attraction is mutual. He talks about himself as a way to impress you, to get that “like” back. He’s making sure the attraction is mutual.
He looks where you look
When a guy likes you, he will be very attentive and very affected by your presence. So, if you suddenly look at a particular thing with a particular level of curiosity, he’ll automatically look at where you’re looking at.
This is due to his attention to your presence.
Even if he’s not directly looking at you, he’s very aware that you’re present in the room/space. He’ll notice that something caught your eye, even if nobody else does.
He touches things around him or you
When a guy likes you, he becomes very touchy. This is due to the nervousness he experiences because of your presence or attention to him.
He touches his beard, his cheeks, hair, the tea bag string, table, his knees, anything that’s touchable. If you’re physically closer, he’ll touch your arm, your hair (in a playful way so that he doesn’t seem creepy), etc.
He’s careless of other people’s judgment
Other people have opinions of other people. However, some people just stand out from others, and that can lead to them being exposed to judgment (positive or negative) from the social circle that surrounds that person.
In this case, if he likes you, he won’t mind the outside judgment. Whether that’s positive or negative, he won’t be affected by it.
Christina Steinorth-Powell, LMFT
Licensed Psychotherapist and Author, “Cue Cards for Men: A Man’s Guide to Love and Life“
He makes himself available to you
When you text him, he answers right away. When you make plans to see him, he’s there on time. A guy who likes you will just about move mountains to be sure he’s available when you need him.
If you have to wait more than ten minutes for a response to a text, believe me—he’s not relationship material.
When someone values you, they show it in their actions. If a guy likes you and you make plans to get together, he’ll be there on time, every time. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. He’ll do this because he values you. When someone doesn’t care about you, they don’t value your time.
He will make you look good in front of your friends and family
He’ll never, ever treat you disrespectfully or do anything to embarrass you in front of people who are important to you. He’ll do this because he will want to be a bigger part of your life.
Shawnessa Devonish, MA, LCPC, NCC
National Board Certified Counselor and Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Rejuvenated Minds Therapy
Give yourself an encouraging “pep-talk” to develop the confidence to ask him
Your fear of rejection can trigger you to think of past abandonment traumas. As a result, you may engage in negative self-talk (ex: “I am going to look like a desperate fool”), which will prevent you from asking the question.
Challenge those negative beliefs by speaking positively and saying encouraging words to yourself. Not only will you build your confidence (which is so attractive), you will also improve your self-esteem.
Do not make assumptions
Assumptions can lead to disappointment or even a misunderstanding. Just because he likes going out to eat with you does not mean he likes you…. or does it?
To gain accurate clarification, it is important to be direct and ask.
Assess his action
Some guys can say the most wonderful things and make persuasive promises. However, “actions speak louder than words.”
His “talk” may say that he likes you, but his “actions” may say that he does not value you.
Don’t focus on the things shown in romantic novels or movies
Sure, the basics need to be there. He needs to be paying attention to you, putting in the extra effort— all a given. However, what we don’t focus on are the things not shown in romantic novels or movies— realistic moves, perfect for cliché-hating partnerships.
- How well does he understand the logistics of your relationship?
- Is he able to figure out efficient routes between your homes?
- Is he able to carve out time slots where you’re both available?
- Is he practical with a plan for a future where you both adjust easily?
It’s all in the little things
I know having a guy confess his love through a flash mob in a public place might sound uber-romantic— but I want you to notice the little gestures.
- Does he bring an extra scarf because he knows you get cold?
- Does he remember to carry a mint because you get car sick?
See how well he’s picking up on the little things that make your life even 1% easier, and you’ll learn how invested he is in you.
He is willing to adjust his life plan to suit both of you
Everyone has a rough path they made for their lives. However, we often tend to adjust this when we find somebody we like. It can be with regards to going slower, going faster, choosing where to live, and so much more— after all, relationships are about compromise.
I’m not suggesting that he’s going to uproot his life entirely to fit into yours if he likes you— instead, see if he’s willing to be flexible, and adapt his life plan over time to a combined version for you both.
He walks slower
Weird but true. If a man is romantically interested in you, you won’t be rushing to keep up with his stride. According to a study reported in Time, men who have a romantic interest in a woman will walk slower to match her stride.
The study was done by researchers at Seattle Pacific University and found that men who normally walk two-tenths of a mile per hour faster than women slowed down their stride when walking with a romantic partner. When walking with other men, both men were more likely to speed up.
So next time you’re out and about with your crush— pay attention to their walking speed and even slow down your speed to see if he matches you!
He shows that he’s harmless
A guy who likes you wants to show confidence because it’s a universally attractive trait; however, too much confidence can be seen as intimidating. In order to avoid coming across as overbearing, a guy who likes you will need to show you that he’s harmless.
He wants you to know that “you’re safe” with him.
Anthropologist Dr. David Givens discovered that men show they are harmless using their body language.
“In humans, one such gesture is a palm-up placement of the hand, whether on a table or a knee, a reassuring sign of harmlessness. Another submissive display is the shoulder shrug, which, ethologists suggest, derives from an ancient vertebrate reflex, a posture signifying helplessness.”
Dr. Givens via New York Times.
So next time, keep an eye out to see if he’s trying to make sure you feel safe and “at ease” while in his presence.
He compliments you in small ways
Are you wondering if your crush likes you? Well, the easiest way is to ask him, but if you want to confirm but would not want to end up in an awkward conversation, there are a few signs to let you know if the guy likes you:
- He leans towards you in a conversation. If a guy likes you, they tend to trust their face towards you. That is a good sign.
- He compliments you in small ways. If a guy compliments you in small or big ways, he is looking to have small talk, which means they can be into you.
- He makes eye contact. It is a sign of attraction but be careful. Some people are good at eye contact. If your crush looks directly into your eyes and holds your gaze, that means more.
He is consistent in giving you hints about his admiration
You know a guy likes you when he is consistent in giving you hints about his admiration or even feelings that could be in the form of a text, chat, or even face-to-face gestures such as saying “hi” every time you meet him.
You could tell it and sense it, especially if he repeatedly does this to you. Texting and chatting are small gestures that do mean something.
There’s a saying that “people put effort into something that’s very important to them.” And oftentimes, when someone makes you an important person, it only manifests that he admires you and likes you.
So, if you have experienced these gestures from him constantly, this means you are important to him.
As a dating expert, most of my clients ask questions about knowing if a guy or a girl likes them. In my opinion, determining if someone has a crush on you is quite easy.
He takes care of you
When a person likes you, they take care of you. Their actions are sometimes questionable as they look for you most of the time when in fact, a normal friend does not do that.
Related: 30+ Subtle Signs He Likes You More Than a Friend
When you catch him staring at you with no apparent reason
However, the unique way of knowing if a guy likes you is when you catch them staring at you with no apparent reason.
If you are talking with your group of friends and this certain guy keeps on staring at you even though you are just listening to your friend, they definitely like you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can a guy like me if we have a significant age difference?
Although age differences can sometimes pose challenges in a relationship, they aren’t necessarily a barrier to developing a meaningful connection.
It’s important to consider the legal implications of a potential relationship, especially if there is a significant age difference. However, if you’re both of legal age and consenting adults, it’s important to focus on the qualities you have in common and your connection.
It’s also important that you’re open and honest with each other about your intentions and expectations for the relationship.
If you’re interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with him, be clear about your feelings and your expectations for a relationship. This way, you can ensure you’re both on the same page and avoid any possible misunderstandings or hurt feelings.
The best way to determine if a guy likes you is to communicate directly with him and ask him about his feelings and intentions. Although age differences can sometimes be challenging, they aren’t necessarily a barrier to a meaningful and fulfilling relationship.
How can I tell if a guy just wants to be friends?
Sometimes, it can be difficult to determine if a guy is interested in a romantic relationship or just wants to be friends.
One sign that he may only see you as just a friend is if he talks to you about other girls he’s interested in or introduces you to other guys he thinks you might be interested in. He may also treat you more like “one of the guys” and show no signs of romantic interest.
Another way to determine if he just wants to be friends is to pay attention to his body language. If he keeps a comfortable distance from you, avoids physical contact, or doesn’t seem interested in what you have to say, he may not be interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you.
It’s important to communicate with the guy and ask him directly about his intentions. It may be uncomfortable, but it’s better to know where you stand than to keep wondering. Remember, even if he only sees you as a friend, it doesn’t mean your friendship isn’t valuable and meaningful.
Can a guy like me if we have different interests?
Yes. While shared interests can help bring people together, they aren’t the only factor in developing a meaningful connection.
It’s important that you focus on qualities like kindness, honesty, and respect when evaluating a potential romantic partner. Try to have open and honest conversations with the guy about your interests and values, and be willing to learn more about his interests as well.
Remember that different interests can also be positive, as you can learn from each other and broaden your horizons. It’s important to respect each other’s interests and find common ground on which you can connect and build a meaningful relationship.
Overall, common interests can be a helpful factor in building a connection, but they aren’t the only factor. It’s important to focus on qualities such as respect and kindness and to be open and honest with each other about your interests and values.