It’s not easy to say, but we all wonder if we’re boring sometimes, especially when we’re around others. We start to ask ourselves, “Am I really that dull?”
Well, it’s not weird to have these thoughts. But here’s the thing: knowing that we might be boring is the first step to making a change.
In this article, I’ll discuss some signs that you might be a boring person. Some might be very true for you, while others may surprise you.
But don’t worry, we’ve all been there. By the end, you’ll better understand what makes someone boring and how to be more interesting. Trust me, it’s not as complicated as you think!
Table of Contents
- You Struggle to Find Conversation Topics
- People Don’t React to Your Jokes or Stories
- You Repeatedly Discuss the Same Topics
- Your Speaking Tone Is Monotone
- Others Often Get Distracted During Your Conversations
- Rarely Do People Laugh or Smile With You
- You Focus on Routine Details in Conversations
- Your Body Language Lacks Enthusiasm
- You Seldom Share Personal Stories
- You Ask Few Questions in Conversations
- Your Conversations Are Usually Short
- People Appear Relieved When Conversations With You End
- You Receive Fewer Social Invitations
- You Echo Others’ Previously Stated Points
- You Use Minimal Facial Expressions
- Your Discussions Center on Complaints or Negativity
- You Avoid Open-Ended Questions
- People Frequently Excuse Themselves From Talking With You
- Your Stories Lack a Clear Conclusion
- Eye Contact With You Is Infrequent
- You Find It Difficult to Shift Conversation Topics
- It’s Hard for You to Make Conversations Interesting
- You’re Uncomfortable With Humor or Dynamic Talks
- People Rarely Respond to Your Stories or Facts
- You Forget Details About Others
- You Fail to Relate Your Experiences to Others
- Your Conversations Lack Spontaneity
- You Steer Clear of Deep or Emotional Subjects
- You Are Uneasy With Conversational Pauses
- Your Topics Are Often Seen as Outdated
- You’re Seldom Asked for Your Opinion in Groups
- You Refrain From Expressing Your Feelings
- More Takeaways From the Experts
- Frequently Asked Questions
- Final Thoughts
You Struggle to Find Conversation Topics
Some people find it tricky to come up with stuff to chat about. They might feel their mind goes blank when they try to join in on the talk.
It’s not about being mega-smart or knowing a bunch of facts. It’s more about noticing what’s happening around you and bringing that into the convo. You could also ask about the other person’s likes to get the ball rolling.
People Don’t React to Your Jokes or Stories
Sometimes, no one laughs or listens when you tell a joke or story. It could be you’re not hitting the mark with the people you’re talking to.
Laughter isn’t about being super funny all the time. It’s about sharing something that connects with them and fits the mood. If you notice people aren’t laughing, it’s okay to switch the subject.
Example: You crack a joke about your dog, but your friends are cat people. Next time, maybe try a cute cat video you saw online.
You Repeatedly Discuss the Same Topics
Chatting about the same old stuff can make you sound like a broken record. It’s easy to end up there if you stick to what you know. But fresh topics keep conversations interesting.
Imagine you’re sharing snacks; you wouldn’t bring the same chips every time. In the same way, coming to the convo with something new makes things better for everyone.
Your Speaking Tone Is Monotone
If the way you talk doesn’t go up or down much, it’s called a monotone. This can make even exciting news sound boring.
You might not notice it, but others can hear it loud and clear. It’s like listening to a robot sometimes. Changing your pitch makes it more fun to listen to you!
Others Often Get Distracted During Your Conversations
When people look around or check their phones while you’re talking, it’s a sign they’re not into the conversation. They might be finding it hard to stay focused on what you’re saying.
It’s not all on you, but think about how to keep your chat interesting. Keep your stories short and to the point. And hey, sometimes it’s just time to wrap it up.
Example: While you’re telling a work story and notice a friend zoning out, switch it up. Ask them, “Got any work stories? I bet you do!”
Rarely Do People Laugh or Smile With You
When others don’t really laugh or give a warm smile when you’re around, it can feel off.
You want to bring good vibes to the conversation. Keep things light-hearted. It’s important that you enjoy the moment, too — joy is contagious! If you’re having a good time, chances are they will, too.
You Focus on Routine Details in Conversations
Chatting about daily stuff like the weather or doing laundry is okay, but it can get dull fast. Sometimes, it’s the little unique details that make stories stick.
Try to spice things up by talking about different things, not just the usual:
- Skip the typical “I’m fine” and add a fun fact about your day.
- Look for one interesting thing that happened to you this week and share it.
- Bring up topics like a new movie you want to see or a book you’re reading.
"Tedious repetition, dull experiences, and lack of growth lead us to become bored and boring."
— Susanne M. Alexander | Relationship and Marriage Coach, Marriage Transformation | Co-Author, “Couple Vitality: Connecting with Character”
Your Body Language Lacks Enthusiasm
If you’re not using your hands when you talk, or if your face doesn’t really show what you’re feeling, people might think you’re not interested.
Your body can say a lot even when you’re quiet. Just like music needs more than one note to be a tune, conversations need more than words to come alive. If you look bored, they might feel bored, too.
For instance, when you talk about a game you love, don’t just sit still. Sit up straight, use your hands, and let your face light up — like you’re in the game
Not sharing personal stories can make it hard for people to feel connected to you. Stories about yourself can make conversations more interesting and help build stronger connections.
When you talk about your own experiences, it lets others see who you are and what you care about. This makes the conversation more meaningful and lively.
You Ask Few Questions in Conversations
Not asking questions in a chat can make it seem like you’re not really into the chat. It’s like you’re just ticking a box that says, “Yep, I talked to somebody today.”
But chatting’s a two-way street. Questions are the fuel that keeps the chit-chat car driving. Showing interest in the other person makes them feel pretty good, and they’ll want to keep talking to you.
Your Conversations Are Usually Short
When your chats don’t last long, people might think you’re not too keen on talking. You open your mouth, say a few words, and then… that’s it. It’s like when a TV show you like ends too quickly; you’re left wanting more.
If you usually wrap up quick, people might not get the chance to really connect. And let’s be real, it’s those good long talks that can turn into cool friendships.
"Boring people often have trouble carrying on a conversation. They might not have anything interesting to say, or they might just drone on and on about topics that no one else cares about."
— Linda Shaffer | Chief People and Operations Officer, Checkr, Inc.
People Appear Relieved When Conversations With You End
If people often seem to make a quick exit when you stop talking, it could be a hint. It’s as if they’ve been holding their breath and can finally let it out.
No one wants to be the person everyone else can’t wait to get away from.
You might just need to tweak your approach a bit. A good conversation should feel like a fun game of catch — both people happily throwing back and forth, not one person dodging the ball.
You Receive Fewer Social Invitations
Noticing that you’re not getting invited out as much as you used to can mean people think you don’t enjoy social activities. It feels bad to be left out.
Remember, people like to be around others who are fun and engaged. You can change this by being more involved when you do go out. A little change in your interaction can make a big difference.
"If your loved ones no longer invite you to do things together because they are tired of being turned down... If you are the kind of person who is hard to please and often turns down such invitations, you can become very boring in your friends' eyes."
— Dr. Rosmy Barrios | MD and Medical Advisor, Health Reporter
You Echo Others’ Previously Stated Points
Just saying what other people have already mentioned might make it seem like you don’t have original thoughts. It’s much more interesting to add your perspective.
Your unique viewpoint can spark new conversations and ideas, making things more exciting for everyone involved.
For instance, the group is talking about a show, and you’re just agreeing with what’s been said. Instead, share your thoughts like, “I thought the acting was top-notch, didn’t you?”
You Use Minimal Facial Expressions
A lack of facial expressions can make it difficult for people to connect with you during a conversation.
A visible smile can make people feel welcome, while natural reactions to the conversation can make the interaction more lively. Being more expressive helps others to understand and relate to you.
Your Discussions Center on Complaints or Negativity
If most of what you talk about is what’s wrong with things, people might not enjoy chatting with you. It can bring down the mood. Think about it: who likes to listen to someone go on about bad stuff all the time?
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But if you balance it with some positive or fun stuff, people will probably like talking to you more. Everybody has problems, but it shouldn’t be all you talk about.
"If you have low self-confidence, you tend to focus on the negative of life rather than what you do have. Because of this, others may see you as someone who doesn't enjoy life and is uninteresting."
— Colleen Wenner-Foy, MA. LCMHC-S, LPC, MCAP | Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor | Founder and Clinical Director, New Heights Counseling and Consulting LLC
You Avoid Open-Ended Questions
Sticking to yes-or-no questions can shut down a conversation fast. It doesn’t give the other person much to work with.
Open-ended questions let the person talk more and share more about their thoughts and feelings. It keeps the conversation going and shows that you’re interested in what they have to say.
Example: Rather than asking a co-worker, “Was the meeting okay?” you could go for, “What do you think we could improve for next time?”
People Frequently Excuse Themselves From Talking With You
When people often find reasons to leave the conversation early, it’s a sign they’re not enjoying it. You may feel a bit brushed off when this happens.
If it’s happening often, it’s a clue that you might need to make some changes in how you’re interacting. Being someone people really want to talk to means engaging in a way that’s enjoyable for them, too.
"Have you noticed that when you’re talking to someone, they’re trying to walk away from you? They’re nodding their head, but they’re walking toward a door. That’s the kind of body language you need to pick up on."
— Trevor Ford | Head of Growth, Yotta
Your Stories Lack a Clear Conclusion
Telling a story that sort of just trails off without a real ending can leave people confused. It’s like you’re left wondering what the point was.
To keep people hooked, your tales need a good finish. Otherwise, people might not be super excited the next time you start a story.
A few things to consider:
- Think about the point of your story before you start telling it.
- Try to end with something memorable or interesting.
- If you’re telling a long story, sometimes it helps to sum it up at the end.
Eye Contact With You Is Infrequent
If people aren’t looking you in the eyes much, it can mean they’re not that into the convo. Eye contact is a big part of connecting with someone. It’s like if you’re not looking at the road when driving, how can you stay on track?
If they aren’t meeting your gaze much, it could be a sign that you need to work on being more engaging.
You Find It Difficult to Shift Conversation Topics
Talking about one subject for too long can become boring. If you’re not able to bring up new topics, the conversation might not be very engaging. Being able to introduce new things to talk about keeps the conversation lively and interesting for everyone involved.
For instance, you notice you’ve been talking about work a lot, and the person looks a little tired. So, you say, “Hey, that reminds me, did you go to that concert last week?”
"You fear failure. Failure can be scary, but if you're afraid of failing, you might avoid trying new things and activities."
— Colleen Wenner-Foy, MA. LCMHC-S, LPC, MCAP | Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor | Founder and Clinical Director, New Heights Counseling and Consulting LLC
It’s Hard for You to Make Conversations Interesting
Sometimes, you might feel like what you’re talking about isn’t grabbing people’s attention. Maybe they nod but don’t seem hooked by what you’re saying.
To keep things lively, it helps to bring up stuff that gets people thinking or sharing their own experiences:
- Bring up topics that are currently popular or that you know the other person likes.
- Share interesting tidbits from what you’ve read or watched recently.
- Make sure there’s a mix of talking and listening on both sides.
You’re Uncomfortable With Humor or Dynamic Talks
If you feel uneasy when conversations take a lighter or more energetic turn, it can make social situations a bit awkward. You might prefer serious topics and get a bit tense when humor comes into play.
Remember, most people enjoy a good laugh, and spirited discussions often strengthen bonds between friends. It’s okay to step outside of your comfort zone and join in on the fun.
For instance, someone makes a joke, and you’re not sure how to react. Try smiling and throwing in a light-hearted comment yourself, like, “That’s a good one!”
"Humor is a great connector between people... While we may not laugh at the same things, there is always a discussion about humor. If you are not the funny type, you can have a chat about which films you found funny until you find the mutual interests that you share and can connect with."
— Hephzibah Kaplan, RATh, B.Ed | Director, London Art Therapy Centre | Author, "Almost Happy: Pushing Your Buttons with Reverse Psychology"
People Rarely Respond to Your Stories or Facts
When you share a story or fact and get little to no reaction, it can feel like you’re talking to a wall. It’s important to look at what you’re sharing and see if it’s really something that would interest your audience.
Maybe the story is too long, or the facts are too specific to your own interests. To get a response from people, aim to make what you’re saying relevant and engaging to them.
"A boring person does not always realize they are boring because they are so deeply interested in their own subjects and often themselves too. Therefore they assume that what is of interest to them is obviously and intrinsically of interest to others."
— Hephzibah Kaplan, RATh, B.Ed | Director, London Art Therapy Centre | Author, "Almost Happy: Pushing Your Buttons with Reverse Psychology"
You Forget Details About Others
Not remembering things people tell you can make them think you don’t care. It might be:
- Their birthday
- Their kid’s name
- What they did yesterday
When you forget, it’s like you’re not really in the talk. Try to hold on to those little things. It makes people feel good when you remember, and it can make your conversations better.
You Fail to Relate Your Experiences to Others
When you talk about something you’ve been through, and it doesn’t click with the person, they might check out. You want your stories to make sense to them, to feel relevant.
Make it about the feelings or the bigger picture, not just the event. They’ll be more into the chat if what you’re saying feels personal to them, too.
Your Conversations Lack Spontaneity
If your talks feel rehearsed or always go the same way, they might not be that fun. Letting conversations take unexpected turns can add excitement.
Surprises can make a talk enjoyable. Try not to control where it’s going too much. Let things flow naturally, and it’ll keep both of you more engaged.
You Steer Clear of Deep or Emotional Subjects
Talking only about light or surface-level topics can make your conversations seem a bit shallow.
Sometimes, deeper or more emotional topics can really tie people together. It shows you trust them and are open to more than small talk.
But if you always avoid getting real, it might come off like you’re holding back. Bringing some heart to your talks can actually make them more memorable.
"When you choose not to connect with others on a deeper level of connection, you will be seen by others as being superficial and emotionally unavailable. This makes you appear cold and distant, which leads to people avoiding you."
— Colleen Wenner-Foy, MA. LCMHC-S, LPC, MCAP | Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor | Founder and Clinical Director, New Heights Counseling and Consulting LLC
You Are Uneasy With Conversational Pauses
If every silence in a chat makes you jumpy, it can make things a bit awkward. Silence can feel intense, but it’s also a normal part of any conversation. It gives everyone a chance to think and react.
If you rush to fill every quiet moment with chatter, it doesn’t give anyone space to process what’s been said. Learning to be cool with pauses can actually make the conversation better.
Your Topics Are Often Seen as Outdated
Bringing up stuff that’s old news can make people tune out. If you’re always the one talking about past events or tech that’s not used anymore, it might not click with people who are into current stuff. It’s like missing out on what’s happening right now.
Try to freshen up what you talk about with more up-to-date subjects, and you might see people get more interested.
You’re Seldom Asked for Your Opinion in Groups
If people in a group don’t often ask what you think, it could mean they’re not used to hearing your views:
- Maybe they think you don’t have much to say.
- Maybe they’re not sure if you’re interested.
But your thoughts and opinions count, too. It’s important to join in and share your perspective. It shows you’re engaged and part of the group.
You Refrain From Expressing Your Feelings
Holding back on sharing how you feel can make conversations feel a bit empty. People relate to emotions; it makes everything more real and personal. By not expressing feelings, you might seem detached or uninterested.
But when you open up, even just a little, it can make your talks with people richer. Try letting people know what’s going on inside sometimes.
Example: Your friend made a joke, and you only smiled. But what if you said, “That’s hilarious. It totally made my day!” It lets them know you really found it funny.
"You may find it difficult to express yourself and struggle to ask questions and engage in conversation."
— Colleen Wenner-Foy, MA. LCMHC-S, LPC, MCAP | Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor | Founder and Clinical Director, New Heights Counseling and Consulting LLC
More Takeaways From the Experts
“If we are uninterested and uninspired with what we are doing and experiencing, it is highly likely that others would find us quite boring to be around.”
— Susanne M. Alexander | Relationship and Marriage Coach, Marriage Transformation | Co-Author, “Couple Vitality: Connecting with Character“
“It’s easy to foresee boring individuals. They overuse outdated clichés. They tend to agree too quickly and frequently and hardly ever voice their strong opinions. Bores can occasionally be overly concerned; they come out as too pleasant, continually praising others.”
— Tiffany Homan | Relationship Expert, Texas Divorce Laws
“Boring people are often afraid of trying new things. They stick to what they know and are uncomfortable with change. This limited perspective can make them seem closed-minded and dull.”
— Linda Shaffer | Chief People and Operations Officer, Checkr, Inc.
Frequently Asked Questions
What can I do if I realize I’m a boring person?
Don’t worry; it’s fixable! Start by showing more interest in others, bringing new topics into conversations, and sharing your feelings and opinions more openly. Practice these in your daily interactions, and you’ll see improvement.
How can I become more spontaneous in conversations?
Practice being open to where the conversation naturally wants to go, even if it’s off-topic. Also, don’t shy away from sharing a sudden thought or asking a unique question — it could lead to an interesting discussion.
Why is it important to remember details about others?
Remembering details shows that you pay attention and care. This gives people a good feeling about their interactions with you, and they’re more likely to enjoy your company and seek you out for conversation.
What if I run out of things to say?
This is a common concern, but having a few fallback topics related to current events, hobbies, or even asking about the other person’s plans can keep a conversation going. Being observant about your surroundings or recent experiences can also provide quick topics to bring up.
Final Thoughts
Being boring isn’t forever. It’s just a temporary thing that we can all work on. By looking out for the signs and making a few small changes, we can turn ourselves into interesting people to talk to.
Really, being interesting is about being genuine, curious, and open to trying new things. It’s about listening to what others have to say, sharing your own stories, and finding things you have in common.
With a bit of practice and effort, anyone can become a more interesting person and make a good impression on those they meet!
