Do you ever feel like you’re not good at anything? It’s a common feeling, and it can be really frustrating. You’re not alone, though—many people go through this at some point in their lives.
The good news is that there are many ways to find and develop your skills. It’s about trying new things, setting small goals, and giving yourself a chance.
So, are you ready to take the first step in discovering what you’re great at? Let’s explore this together!
Table of Contents
- Consider What You’re Passionate About
- Adopt a Growth Mindset
- Set Achievable Goals
- Practice Mindfulness and Reflection
- Celebrate Small Wins
- Seek Guidance from a Mentor
- Join Skill-Based Workshops
- Network with Diverse Groups
- Volunteer in Various Roles
- Journal Your Thoughts and Feelings
- Practice Positive Affirmations
- Surround Yourself with Supportive People
- Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
- Experiment with Creative Outlets
- Develop an Old Skill
- Engage in Self-Care Activities
- Limit Social Media Usage
- Practice Gratitude Daily
- Learn to Accept Compliments
- Attend Career Counseling Sessions
- Seek Professional Help if Needed
- Remain Persistent and Patient
- More Expert Insights
- Frequently Asked Questions
- Final Thoughts
Consider What You’re Passionate About
When you feel like you’re not good at anything, it might just mean you haven’t found what you’re passionate about yet. Think about what truly excites you—whether it’s writing, cooking, sports, or helping others. Your passions often align with your strengths.
Take a moment to reflect on activities that make you feel happy and engaged. What were you doing during those times? These moments can give you clues about your true interests.
Finding your passion can be incredibly motivating and can give you a sense of direction. And when you do something you’re passionate about, it doesn’t feel like a chore; it’s more enjoyable and fulfilling.
"If you feel like you're not good at anything, chances are, you've never followed your passion. Spending a bit of time following the path of your greatest enthusiasm can help you see what you are passionate about and where to focus your energy."
— Natalie Stoner, M.Ed., CLC | Life Coach | Writer | Entrepreneur | Founder, Bloom Where You Are Academy
Adopt a Growth Mindset
I get it, adopting a growth mindset sounds like something a coach would say, but it simply means believing you can improve.
Here’s how to embrace this mindset practically:
- Change your self-talk: Every time you catch yourself saying “I can’t,” switch it to “I’m getting better at it.”
- Track your progress: Even small improvements are worth celebrating!
- Challenge yourself with new goals: Once you’re comfortable with one thing, add a little twist or a new challenge.
When you mess up, and hey, we all do, try to see it as a chance to learn something new. Ask yourself what went wrong and how you can do better next time. It helps you become more confident and resilient over time.
Set Achievable Goals
Setting goals helps you see progress and keeps you motivated, even when things seem tough. You can start with tiny steps. List what you want to achieve and break it into short-term and long-term goals.
The short-term goal could be something like learning a new hobby, while the long-term goal might be more about your career or personal growth.
For example, if you dream of writing a book, aim to write just one page a day. It makes the goal feel less daunting and gives you a little win every day. Remember, each small step counts, and soon you’ll see bigger progress.
"It can be very helpful to really consider why we are interested in a particular thing. Is it all about external recognition, or is it more about internal goals? By breaking these goals down, we can start to figure out what's really important to us and then direct our efforts accordingly."
— Jonathan Schnapp, LCSW | Psychotherapist
Practice Mindfulness and Reflection
Slowing down to reflect on your actions and feelings can help you realize you’re better at things than you thought. Mindfulness is not just meditation; it’s about being aware of the present moment and giving yourself space to grow.
Here are some practical ways to incorporate it into your daily routine:
- Take five minutes daily to sit quietly and focus on your breathing.
- Keep a reflection journal to note down daily thoughts and feelings.
- Listen and adjust your inner dialogue to be more positive.
This practice helps you better understand yourself, making it easier to see areas where you excel and where you might need some work. It’s like getting to know a friend, but that friend is you!
Celebrate Small Wins
Sometimes, we get so focused on big goals that we forget to acknowledge the small wins. Did you complete a challenging task? High five! Did you manage to stick to your goals for the week? That’s awesome!
Celebrating these small victories can boost your morale and keep you motivated. You don’t need to throw a party whenever you achieve something small, even simple things like treating yourself to your favorite snack or taking a relaxing break can be enough. The idea is to recognize your efforts and give yourself a pat on the back.
Seek Guidance from a Mentor
Having a mentor can be a game-changer. A mentor is someone you can turn to for advice and support. They’ve probably been through similar struggles and can share their experiences with you. They can guide you through tricky situations and provide insights you might not have considered.
To effectively find and engage with a mentor, consider these steps:
- Identify a skilled individual you admire and seek their guidance.
- Ask for specific advice or feedback to improve your skills.
- Set up regular check-ins for ongoing motivation and advice.
Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for their guidance. Most people are more than happy to help.
Join Skill-Based Workshops
Skill-based workshops are a great way to learn something new in a fun, hands-on environment. Whether you’re interested in cooking, coding, painting, or photography, there’s likely a workshop for you.
These workshops are designed to give you practical experience, so you’ll learn by doing, which can be engaging. And you don’t have to commit much time; many workshops are single-day events or short series. Plus, you’ll meet other people who share your interests, which is always a bonus.
"If you love something but aren't yet good at it; take a class, join a club, start your practice. They say 10,000 hours of practice at anything leads to mastery."
— Natalie Stoner, M.Ed., CLC | Life Coach | Writer | Entrepreneur | Founder, Bloom Where You Are Academy
Network with Diverse Groups
Meeting new people from different backgrounds can open up a whole new world of ideas, perspectives, and opportunities. Who says networking isn’t just for career advancement? It’s also a gold mine for personal growth.
Here’s how to make the most of it:
- Join diverse community groups or clubs that align with both your personal and professional interests.
- Attend events and meetups where you can meet people from different industries and backgrounds.
- Stay curious and ask questions. Show genuine interest in others’ experiences and stories.
Expanding your circle and stepping into new social environments can surprisingly lead you to discover what you’re good at or introduce you to people who can guide and inspire you.
Volunteer in Various Roles
Volunteering is a heartwarming and eye-opening way to develop new skills and figure out what you’re good at. Whether you help at a local shelter, organize community events, tutor students, or participate in environmental clean-ups, each role can teach you something valuable.
The sense of purpose and fulfillment you get from helping others can likewise boost your confidence and make you feel valued.
Journal Your Thoughts and Feelings
Journaling can be a wonderful way to get in touch with your emotions and thoughts. It’s like having a conversation with yourself. It helps clear your mind and can offer insights into how you truly feel about various aspects of your life.
Grab a notebook or open a document on your computer and just start writing. You can jot down what happened during your day, how you felt about certain events or even random thoughts that pop into your head.
Here’s how you can get started:
- Make it a daily routine: Find a quiet moment each day to jot down what’s on your mind.
- Write honestly: Don’t hold back. This journal is your private space to be completely open.
- Review regularly: Look back at your entries once in a while to reflect on your progress and patterns.
Practice Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are simple but powerful phrases that help reprogram your mind to think more positively. You might feel a bit silly at first, but repeating statements like “I am capable,” “I deserve good things,” or “I am improving every day” can boost your confidence over time. I mean, it’s like being your own cheerleader!
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You can write these affirmations on sticky notes and place them where you’ll see them daily, like on your mirror or workspace. Or, say them out loud each morning. The more you repeat them, the more you’ll believe them, and they’ll become part of your thought process.
"You must change your narrative (the story you tell yourself about yourself) to replace those old, negative limiting beliefs with words and actions that empower you."
— Stephen and Sonji Millet | Motivational Speakers | Life Coaches | Founders, My Blisstopia
Surround Yourself with Supportive People
It’s true, the company you keep can shape who you are and how you feel about yourself. Having a squad that cheers you on and supports your growth is priceless.
Here’s how to cultivate such a circle:
- Choose friends who uplift you. Stick with people who build you up and believe in your potential.
- Connect with those who share your passions. Clubs or online groups related to your interests can be great places to meet like-minded allies.
- Limit time with negative influences. Keep a healthy distance from those who dampen your spirits or discourage you.
With the right crowd around you, you’ll find that gaining confidence and thriving becomes a whole lot easier. They’re like your personal fan club!
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to others can mess with your confidence. It’s so easy to see someone else’s success and feel like you’re not doing enough. But remember, everyone is on their own unique path. What you see is just a snapshot of their life, and you don’t know the whole story.
Instead, focus on your own journey. It’s okay to move at your own pace. Everyone’s timeline is different, and that’s totally okay. By focusing on your growth, you’ll likely feel more satisfied and confident in your abilities.
"When people say they're not good at anything, it's usually because they're comparing themselves to others. There will always be someone better than you—even if you're an Olympian, you won't win gold every year. So stop comparing yourself to others, instead, compare yourself to who you were yesterday.."
— Tamsin Nicholson | Founder, Yekize
Experiment with Creative Outlets
Tapping into your creative side can uncover hidden talents and give you a fresh perspective. It’s all about trying different ways to express yourself and seeing what sticks.
Consider these tips to make diving into creativity fun and insightful:
- Pick up varied creative hobbies: painting, writing, DIY crafts, or digital design, whichever interests you.
- Join community classes or workshops: This can provide a structured way to learn and meet others who are exploring like you.
- Notice what captivates you: Pay attention to which activities you look forward to and which make you feel the most accomplished.
"Get a coloring book, a cross stitch pattern or a pen and a piece of paper and just spend time with them. This is not because you're an artist or crafter, and please don't feel like you need to get caught up in the making, just make, with your hands. The outcome doesn't matter and just have fun while making it."
— MartinJon Garcia | Recovery Coach
Develop an Old Skill
Sometimes, you don’t need to start from scratch. Think about those skills you’ve dabbled in before. Maybe you used to sketch or play an instrument a bit. Why not revisit it? Dust off those old skills and see if you can reignite that spark.
Going back to something familiar can be comforting and remind you of what you’re capable of. It’s a nice way to rekindle your passion and increase your confidence, showing you that you are indeed good at more things than you might think.
"We have to go back further. What did you enjoy when you were in high school? Can you tell me about a time you enjoyed a job or volunteer position? If we can tease out the common threads of things they've enjoyed in the past, then they can think about how these things might come together in a job."
— Emily Kikue Frank, M.A. | Career Counselor | Founder, Denver Career Catalyst
Engage in Self-Care Activities
Taking care of yourself is crucial, especially when feelings of inadequacy creep in. It isn’t just about pampering; it’s about nurturing your body and mind.
You can integrate self-care into your routine by:
- Planning relaxation periods, such as reading or yoga.
- Incorporating exercise into your daily schedule.
- Ensuring you get sufficient sleep each night.
Regular self-care activities can help you feel more balanced and ready to tackle new challenges. It’s okay to take time for yourself—you’re worth it!
Limit Social Media Usage
Social media can be great for staying connected but can also be a slippery slope into constant comparison. Scrolling through the highlights of other people’s lives might make you feel like you’re not measuring up. It’s important to remember that social media often shows the good moments and not the struggles everyone faces.
Try setting some boundaries. Limit your social media time and focus on real-life connections and activities. You could even take social media breaks occasionally to clear your mind. Plus, it frees up your time to explore those new passions and interests.
Practice Gratitude Daily
Gratitude can transform your outlook, recognizing small victories and strengths that go unnoticed. Establishing a daily gratitude practice helps shift focus from what you believe you lack to what you can achieve.
Here’s what you can do:
- Write three things you are grateful for every day.
- Express appreciation to others routinely.
- Look back on each week’s highlights.
It’s a great way to remind yourself of the good things in your life, especially when you’re feeling down or inadequate. Over time, you’ll start to notice more and more things to be thankful for.
Learn to Accept Compliments
Think of compliments as little nuggets of positivity that others are giving you. They see something good in you, so take it to heart. The next time someone gives you a compliment, try to simply say “thank you” without downplaying it.
It’s not about being arrogant but acknowledging and appreciating the kind words. Growing comfortable with accepting compliments can reinforce your self-esteem and highlight your capabilities, making it easier to see your own value.
Attend Career Counseling Sessions
Feeling unsure about what you’re good at can also extend to uncertainty in your career. It might be handy to chat with a career counselor. They can often see things from a different perspective and help you uncover your strengths.
Career counseling can be a game-changer:
- They use tools and tests to help identify your skills and interests.
- They can guide you in setting career goals that align with your abilities.
- They offer advice on education and training opportunities.
Career counseling sessions can direct you to paths and possibilities that resonate with your skillset, sometimes revealing talents and careers you might not have considered before.
"If you feel at a loss without direction, consider working with a career or life coach for guidance. Certified coaches have many resources and tools to help you identify not only your professional goals but also identify a plan of action... Know that it is not that you are not good at anything, but rather that you simply need support uncovering your abilities and building your confidence in them."
— Brittany Salsman | Founder, Yekize
Seek Professional Help if Needed
Sometimes, you might feel really stuck, like you’re going in circles with these feelings of “I’m not good at anything.” If that happens, it’s perfectly okay to seek help from a mental health professional.
Talking to a therapist or counselor can provide you with tools to manage these feelings and work through any underlying issues. They can offer perspectives and strategies that you might not have thought about.
Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Everyone needs support from time to time, and mental health professionals are there to guide you.
Remain Persistent and Patient
Building confidence and uncovering your strengths doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey, and like any journey, it comes with its own set of challenges and bumps in the road. The key is to stay persistent and patient with yourself.
Persistence means not giving up, even when it feels like you’re not making progress. Keep trying new things, learning, and growing. Patience, on the other hand, is about giving yourself the grace to develop at your own pace. Understand that everyone grows differently, and that’s okay.
Remember, trust the process and be kind to yourself along the way.
More Expert Insights
“Find a direction that really makes sense to you, whether it be a career path or personal exploration. The closer you are to identifying what is right for you, the more likely you are to find something that you are really good at and that you truly enjoy.”
— Jonathan Schnapp, LCSW | Psychotherapist
“You may be a multipotentialite. A multipotentialite is a bit of a “jack of all trades.” They’re great all-rounders, but without a particular strength, they can feel they’re not really good at anything compared to their more specialist colleagues and friends. If you’re a multipotentialite, your strength is the variety of your abilities.”
— Tamsin Nicholson | Founder, Yekize
“Our lives are shaped by the actions we have taken or not taken, the experiences we have lived through, and those we chose to skip. We think, act, react, challenge, accept, and live by our own needs and norms formed through our experiences, but they are not written in stone. They don’t dictate the “what,” “how,” and “why.” And they don’t define “who” or “what” we can and will become. That part is all on you to define.”
— Joseph Braithwaite | Author, Not Your Average Cup of Joe
“Brene Browns, to me, puts it perfectly, on which the concept of being ‘good’ is closely linked to wanting to be perfect before doing it.
“Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.“
My point is that you do not need to do what you are good at, hell you can do something you are bad at!… I believe the stress should be placed on what makes life good for you, then go on from whatever facilitates that, you’ll very quickly see what you are good at and what you should do.”
— Phoebe Howlett | Travel Blogger | Founder, The Chance of Choice
“The truth is that everyone is good at many things, but too often people who are feeling confused about jobs haven’t identified what they like and need. For instance, some of them may be really good at organizing files but really hate doing it, so it doesn’t feel at all like a skill.
So we start with what they like doing or what they’ve liked in the past, with the understanding that if they enjoy something, they are much more likely to be willing to put the time and effort into getting good at it.
Nobody starts life as a good dental hygienist, for instance, but people who find that work fulfilling have been willing to learn what they need in order to become skilled…
As a culture, we over-focus on skills and abilities, but each of us is a person first, so we really ought to teach people to start by thinking about their values and the things they really care about.
I find that, most often, when clients can identify things they enjoy or find worthwhile, the skill part follows—not necessarily natural, but at least the effort feels good… Skill more often follows interest than the other way around.”
— Emily Kikue Frank, M.A. | Career Counselor | Founder, Denver Career Catalyst
Frequently Asked Questions
Why am I not good at anything at all?
This feeling can be attributed to a few factors:
Lack of exploration: You may not have had the opportunity to explore different interests and activities. Experimenting with new things can help you discover your strengths.
Unrealistic expectations: Sometimes, we set our expectations too high and feel discouraged when we don’t meet them immediately. Remember, skills take time to develop.
Negative self-talk: If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re not good at anything, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Try to be kinder to yourself and focus on your efforts and progress.
Limited opportunities: Lack of access to resources, education, or supportive environments can limit your chances to develop and recognize your skills.
Fear of failure: Fear can prevent you from trying new things or putting effort into something. Embrace failure as a part of learning and growth.
Comparisons: Constantly comparing yourself to others can make you feel inadequate. Focus on your own journey and progress instead.
Understanding these factors can help you take steps to discover and build your skills.
What if I get overwhelmed while developing new skills or following my passions?
Take breaks when needed, and don’t hesitate to adjust your approach. Engaging in self-care is essential for maintaining balance while you’re exploring new areas of growth.
Is it too late to discover what I’m good at if I’m older?
It’s never too late to discover new talents or interests. Many people find new passions and develop new skills well into adulthood and beyond.
What if I don’t have much free time to explore new things?
Even small-time investments can lead to personal growth. Start by dedicating 10-15 minutes daily to try something new. Look for activities that easily fit into your daily life, like reading, cooking a new recipe, or short creative exercises.
Why is it important not to rush the process of discovering what I’m good at?
Rushing may lead to frustration and burnout. Taking the time to explore and develop your skills at a comfortable pace increases the likelihood of finding genuine joy and success in your endeavors.
Final Thoughts
Finding your strengths might not happen overnight, and that’s okay. Be patient and kind to yourself as you explore different interests and skills. Each small step you take brings you closer to discovering what you love.
And remember, everyone’s journey is unique. Focus on your own progress, no matter how small it seems. Keep trying, stay positive, and soon enough, you’ll find your path. Trust yourself, and keep striving forward!