100 Questions to Ask Before Moving in Together

Before packing those boxes and deciding on decor, it’s essential to have deep, meaningful conversations covering all aspects of cohabitation.

From financial arrangements to handling squabbles over unwashed dishes, asking the right questions can ensure you and your partner are on the same page.

Financial Considerations

  1. How will we manage our joint expenses?
  2. Have we set a budget for our household costs?
  3. Will we have a joint bank account for shared expenses?
  4. How do we plan to divide the costs of rent/mortgage and utilities?
  5. What is our plan for saving towards common goals?
  6. How will we handle personal spending and savings?
  7. Do we have a plan in case of financial emergencies?
  8. Are we clear about each other’s debts and financial obligations?
  9. How will we decide on major purchases?
  10. What is our strategy for managing day-to-day expenses?
  11. Will we contribute equally or proportionally based on income?
  12. How do we feel about lending money to each other or family?
  13. Do we have plans for investment and future security?
  14. How will we handle financial disagreements?
  15. What are our long-term financial goals as a couple?
  16. Are we comfortable discussing each other’s salaries and income?
  17. How will we manage holidays, gifts, and entertainment costs?
  18. Should we consider financial counseling or advice?
  19. Will we need to update our wills or insurance policies?
  20. How do we feel about financial independence within our relationship?

Household Responsibilities

  1. How will we divide daily chores and responsibilities?
  2. What are our expectations about cleanliness and organization?
  3. How do we plan to manage grocery shopping and meal preparations?
  4. Who will be responsible for paying bills and managing accounts?
  5. Do we have a plan for home maintenance and repairs?
  6. How will we decide on decorating and making changes to our home?
  7. What is our policy on hosting friends and family?
  8. How will we manage time spent working from home?
  9. Do we have preferences for quiet hours or work schedules?
  10. Are we prepared to compromise on shared spaces?
  11. How will we handle responsibilities towards pets, if any?
  12. What are our laundry and cleaning routines?
  13. How do we feel about hiring help for household tasks?
  14. Will we allocate certain areas as personal space?
  15. How do we plan to tackle unexpected household challenges?
  16. Are we willing to adjust our habits for the other person?
  17. How will we communicate our needs and discomforts regarding household responsibilities?
  18. What are our expectations for energy use and sustainability practices at home?
  19. How will we manage the use of shared items and appliances?
  20. Are we okay with creating a schedule or routine for household chores?

Personal Space and Boundaries

  1. How much personal time and space do we need individually?
  2. How will we respect each other’s need for privacy?
  3. Do we have clear boundaries around personal belongings?
  4. How will we manage time with friends separately and together?
  5. Are we okay with having personal hobbies and activities?
  6. How do we plan to communicate when we need space?
  7. What are our thoughts on personal routines or rituals?
  8. How will we ensure quality time together and apart?
  9. What are our expectations regarding work-life balance while living together?
  10. How do we feel about digital privacy and sharing passwords?
  11. How will we handle disagreements regarding personal space?
  12. Are we prepared to compromise on personal preferences?
  13. How will we maintain individuality within our relationship?
  14. What are the non-negotiables in terms of personal boundaries?
  15. How will we manage expectations around time spent with external relationships?
  16. Do we have a plan for self-care and mental health?
  17. Are we clear about boundaries regarding family involvement in our lives?
  18. How will we support each other’s growth and changes over time?
  19. What steps will we take if boundaries are crossed?
  20. How do we plan to keep the romance alive without encroaching on personal space?

Future Plans and Expectations

  1. Where do we see ourselves as a couple in the next 5 years?
  2. How do we feel about marriage and long-term commitment?
  3. What are our plans regarding children and parenting?
  4. How will we support each other’s career ambitions?
  5. Do we have a plan for where we want to live in the future?
  6. What are our expectations regarding work, travel, and lifestyle?
  7. How will we handle changes to our plans or unexpected challenges?
  8. Have we discussed our health and wellness goals?
  9. Are we aligned on our values and life goals?
  10. How do we plan to navigate differences in our visions for the future?
  11. What steps will we take to work towards our shared goals?
  12. How do we feel about flexibility and adapting to new opportunities?
  13. What is our approach to personal and professional development as a couple?
  14. Have we discussed our expectations regarding aging and elder care?
  15. How will we ensure that our relationship grows and evolves?
  16. Are we prepared to prioritize our relationship during difficult times?
  17. How will we celebrate achievements and milestones together?
  18. Do we have strategies for keeping our relationship healthy and vibrant?
  19. How do we plan to integrate our families and traditions?
  20. What are our hopes and dreams as a couple, and how will we pursue them?

Conflict Resolution and Communication

  1. How do we plan to communicate effectively about sensitive topics?
  2. What is our strategy for resolving disagreements?
  3. How will we ensure open and honest communication in our relationship?
  4. What are our feelings about seeking relationship counseling if needed?
  5. How do we plan to manage stress and external pressures as a couple?
  6. Are we willing to compromise and find a middle ground?
  7. How do we handle criticism and feedback from each other?
  8. How will we support each other during conflicts with external parties?
  9. What are our expectations regarding apologies and making amends?
  10. How do we feel about expressing needs and desires openly?
  11. What is our approach to discussing future plans and uncertainties?
  12. How will we manage differences in communication styles?
  13. How do we ensure we’re listening actively and empathetically?
  14. What steps will we take if communication breaks down?
  15. How do we plan to maintain respect and understanding during conflicts?
  16. Are we open to learning and growing from our disagreements?
  17. How will we celebrate our successes in communication and conflict resolution?
  18. What are our feelings about keeping secrets or withholding information?
  19. How do we ensure fairness and equality in decision-making?
  20. Are we prepared to forgive and move forward after a conflict?

Frequently Asked Questions

What if we disagree on some topics?

Disagreements are natural. They provide an opportunity to negotiate and find compromise. If some topics are challenging to agree upon, consider seeking a third-party perspective, like relationship counseling. What’s important is that you both are willing to work together to find a solution.

How do we deal with external pressures like family expectations or societal norms?

While external pressures can be influential, it’s crucial to remember that you’re the one who will be living together. Make sure to prioritize your feelings and needs over what you think you “should” do.


Final Thoughts

Moving in together is a big step with lots of new challenges, but it’s also a chance to make some amazing memories with your partner. So, take the time to ask these important questions and get excited about this new adventure together.

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Bea is an editor and writer with a passion for literature and self-improvement. Her ability to combine these two interests enables her to write informative and thought-provoking articles that positively impact society. She enjoys reading stories and listening to music in her spare time.