140 Questions to Ask Before Moving in Together

Moving in together is a big step in any relationship. It’s exciting to think about sharing a space, splitting responsibilities, and spending more time with your partner.

But let’s face it—living together isn’t just about cozy nights on the couch. It’s also about navigating real-life stuff like bills, chores, and personal space.

Before you make the leap, it’s smart to sit down and have some honest conversations. These help you both set expectations, avoid misunderstandings, and ensure you’re truly ready for this next step.

Lifestyle Alignment

1. What does your daily routine look like, and how do you prefer to start and end your day?
2. How do you typically spend your weekends or free time?
3. What are your habits regarding cleanliness and tidiness?
4. Do you prefer a quiet home environment, or are you okay with background noise (like music or TV)?
5. How do you feel about pets in the home?
6. Are there specific habits or routines you’re not willing to compromise on?
7. Do you prefer to keep the house minimalistic or filled with decorations and items?
8. How often do you need personal downtime, and what does that look like for you?
9. Are you an early bird or a night owl?
10. How do you feel about overnight guests staying at our place?
11. What are your expectations for meals—shared cooking or separate?
12. Do you like to plan activities together, or do you prefer more spontaneity?
13. How do you like to celebrate holidays or special occasions?
14. Are you comfortable sharing items like toiletries or keeping them separate?
15. Do you prefer a structured environment or a more flexible living space?
16. What kind of temperature settings do you prefer for the home?
17. Do you see the home as a private retreat or a social hub?
18. What’s your stance on having TVs, gadgets, or workspaces in shared areas?
19. How do you envision downtime at home—reading, watching TV, or being online?
20. How should we balance spending time together versus maintaining personal space?

Practical and Logistical Considerations

1. Where do you see us living, and what are your top priorities for location?
2. How do you feel about signing a joint lease versus one person taking the lease?
3. Do you have any specific furniture or items you want to bring to our shared space?
4. How will we handle moving costs and logistics?
5. Should we get renter’s insurance, and how would we split the cost?
6. Are there any rules about subletting or letting others stay in the home?
7. What’s your preferred process for splitting bills and rent?
8. Do we agree on how utilities like Wi-Fi, water, and electricity will be handled?
9. How do we handle mail and deliveries?
10. Who will oversee setting up services like electricity, gas, or internet?
11. How do you feel about owning versus renting in the long term?
12. Do you have any concerns about moving into an area with specific commuting challenges?
13. How do we prioritize parking arrangements if needed?
14. What’s the plan if one of us wants to move out earlier than expected?
15. How do we handle emergency repairs or maintenance calls?
16. What’s the process if we want to redecorate or make changes to the home?
17. Do you have preferences for grocery shopping and meal planning logistics?
18. Are there particular house rules you’d like to address before moving in?
19. How will we divide storage space?
20. What’s the backup plan if either of us faces unexpected housing challenges?

Personal Space and Boundaries

1. How much alone time do you need each day or week?
2. Are there spaces in the home you’d like to designate as yours (e.g., a work area)?
3. How do you feel about locking doors for privacy?
4. What’s your stance on sharing closets, drawers, or other storage spaces?
5. How do you handle situations where you feel your boundaries are being crossed?
6. Are there certain activities or topics you prefer not to discuss at home?
7. How often do you need time away from the house to recharge?
8. How should we handle disagreements about personal space?
9. What are your boundaries regarding phone or device use in shared spaces?
10. Do you have specific preferences for maintaining personal hygiene spaces (like the bathroom)?
11. How do you feel about having designated quiet hours?
12. What are your boundaries regarding physical affection in shared spaces?
13. How should we address instances where one of us feels overwhelmed?
14. How do you handle visitors infringing on personal space?
15. Do you prefer shared or separate laundry schedules?
16. Are there items of yours you’d prefer not to share?
17. How do you feel about keeping our bedrooms as a private retreat versus a shared space?
18. What’s your stance on how close we should be physically during work-from-home situations?
19. How do you want to address the balance between shared and individual decorations?
20. Are there “me time” rituals we should respect for each other?

Financial Considerations

1. How will we split rent and utility bills?
2. Do we need a joint savings account for household expenses?
3. How do we handle unexpected expenses, like appliance repairs?
4. What’s your monthly budget for groceries and household supplies?
5. How do you feel about contributing to shared savings for emergencies?
6. Do you have any debts or financial obligations that might impact our budget?
7. How transparent are you willing to be about your financial situation?
8. Should we agree on a maximum amount for shared purchases without consulting each other?
9. How do we plan for fun expenses, like vacations or outings?
10. Are you comfortable discussing salary or income?
11. How should we handle situations where one person temporarily can’t contribute as much?
12. What’s your stance on credit card usage for shared expenses?
13. Should we agree on shared or individual insurance costs (health, renters)?
14. How will we split the cost of buying new furniture or appliances?
15. How do you feel about using apps to track shared expenses?
16. What’s your financial goal for the next year, and how can we support each other?
17. Are there any subscriptions or shared services we should budget for?
18. How should we handle gifts for each other or others during holidays?
19. Do we need a buffer fund for unexpected bills?
20. How do we manage shared grocery budgets if dietary needs differ?

Household Roles and Chores

1. How do you feel about creating a chore schedule?
2. Which chores do you prefer, and which ones do you dislike?
3. Should we clean as we go or set designated cleaning days?
4. How do you feel about hiring a cleaner for bigger tasks?
5. What’s your approach to doing dishes—immediately or after meals?
6. How often do you prefer to do laundry?
7. Who will handle grocery shopping, and how should we divide it?
8. How often should we deep-clean the house?
9. How do we handle garbage and recycling duties?
10. What’s your stance on having shared versus individual cleaning products?
11. Should we rotate tasks regularly or stick to preferred roles?
12. Who’s responsible for maintaining plants or pets (if any)?
13. How do we keep track of household maintenance (like changing filters)?
14. What’s your expectation for handling cooking and meal prep?
15. How do we decide on the frequency of vacuuming and dusting?
16. Should we alternate paying for shared household supplies?
17. How do we resolve disputes over unfinished chores?
18. What’s your stance on dividing outdoor maintenance tasks (if applicable)?
19. Should we set rules for shared appliance usage (e.g., dishwasher, washer)?
20. How do we address last-minute changes in chore commitments?

Household Rules

1. What are your expectations regarding noise levels at different times of the day?
2. Should we have a curfew for guests?
3. How do you feel about hosting parties or gatherings?
4. What’s your stance on overnight guests?
5. Should we have specific guidelines for kitchen cleanliness?
6. Are there any rules for the use of shared items like TVs or computers?
7. How should we handle disagreements about house rules?
8. Do you want to establish rules for outdoor areas (balconies, porches)?
9. What’s your stance on smoking or vaping in the home?
10. Should we limit certain activities, like loud music or gaming, to specific hours?
11. How do we handle shared storage spaces like closets or cabinets?
12. Should we agree on meal-sharing rules?
13. Are there specific rules for how laundry is done or stored?
14. How do we divide bathroom schedules in the morning?
15. Should we set rules about borrowing each other’s personal items?
16. How do we agree on thermostat settings during summer or winter?
17. Are there limits on how many guests we can have at one time?
18. Should we create guidelines for keeping the front entrance or hallway clutter-free?
19. How do we handle requests for last-minute changes to house rules?
20. Are there any household habits you want to enforce (like no shoes indoors)?

Conflict Resolution and Communication

1. How do you prefer to approach tough conversations?
2. What’s your method for resolving disagreements quickly?
3. Should we have regular check-ins to discuss how things are going?
4. What’s your reaction when feeling stressed or overwhelmed?
5. How do we decide who handles disputes over shared spaces?
6. What’s your preferred way of expressing dissatisfaction?
7. How can I best support you during stressful times?
8. Should we set a “cool-down” rule before addressing conflicts?
9. How do we handle situations where one of us feels unheard?
10. What’s your approach to apologizing after an argument?
11. How do you handle constructive criticism?
12. Should we agree on a mediator (friend or family) for major disagreements?
13. What’s your stance on leaving notes for reminders or complaints?
14. How should we communicate frustrations about unfinished chores?
15. Are you open to seeking outside help (e.g., counseling) if conflicts persist?
16. How do we avoid miscommunication when texting or calling about urgent issues?
17. What’s your preferred tone and approach when discussing sensitive topics?
18. How do we handle disagreements about visitors or guests?
19. Should we create rules for when arguments happen late at night?
20. How do we ensure both of us feel respected and valued during discussions?

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Final Thoughts

Moving in together is an exciting milestone, but it’s not something to rush into without a little planning. Taking the time to ask thoughtful questions and have open conversations helps you understand each other better and avoid unnecessary conflicts.

Remember, no one has it all figured out right away. You’ll probably hit a few bumps along the way, and that’s okay! The key is to keep communicating, be patient with each other, and stay flexible as you adjust to living together.