330 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Relationship

Are you curious about the health of your relationship? Don’t wait for the perfect moment; dive in now! Asking the right questions can be like holding a mirror up to your love life.

Whether it’s intimacy, trust, or future plans, these questions will help you understand not just your partner but also yourself.

Regarding Intimacy and Connection

  1. Do I feel close to my partner emotionally?
  2. Can we share our deepest feelings with each other?
  3. Do we understand each other without always using words?
  4. How often do we share affectionate moments?
  5. Can I be my true self around my partner?
  6. Do we both feel seen and valued?
  7. How important is physical touch to us?
  8. Do we make time for deep conversations?
  9. Can I trust my partner with my secrets?
  10. Do we feel more connected after spending time together?
  11. Is it easy for us to reconnect after being apart?
  12. Do we have shared activities or hobbies that bring us closer?
  13. Are there moments when I feel distant from my partner? Why?
  14. How do we handle it when one of us needs space?
  15. Are we both satisfied with our physical intimacy?
  16. Do we both feel safe expressing our desires?
  17. How do we react when one of us feels vulnerable?
  18. Are there barriers that keep us from connecting deeper?
  19. Do I ever feel lonely even when I’m with my partner?
  20. How do we nurture our emotional bond?
  21. Is our intimacy different now than when we first started dating? How?
  22. Do we prioritize creating special moments together?
  23. How important are rituals, like date nights, to our connection?
  24. Can we both be open about our fears and dreams?
  25. Do I feel heard when I share my feelings?
  26. Are we both present during our time together, or are we often distracted?
  27. How do we celebrate each other’s successes?
  28. Do we laugh together often?
  29. Are there unresolved issues that might be blocking our intimacy?
  30. Do we both feel that our connection is getting stronger over time?

Regarding Communication

  1. Do we talk every day?
  2. Can we talk openly about our feelings?
  3. Do we both listen well?
  4. How often do we argue?
  5. Are our arguments productive or harmful?
  6. Do I feel respected when we talk?
  7. Can we talk about money without fighting?
  8. Are we able to discuss our future plans easily?
  9. Can I share my worries without judgment?
  10. Do we both apologize when we’re wrong?
  11. Do we say “I love you” often?
  12. Are we honest about what bothers us?
  13. Do I hide things to avoid conflict?
  14. Do we speak the same “love language“?
  15. Do we talk more than we text?
  16. Can we discuss our families openly?
  17. How well do we handle disagreements?
  18. Do we understand each other’s sense of humor?
  19. Are there topics that are off-limits?
  20. Can I talk about my work stress easily?
  21. How well do we communicate in a crisis?
  22. Do we check in on each other during the day?
  23. Are we both okay with silence sometimes?
  24. Can we talk about our insecurities?
  25. Do I feel heard in this relationship?
  26. Can we have difficult conversations without yelling?
  27. Do we make decisions together?
  28. Can we talk about our fears?
  29. Are we both good at compromising?
  30. How well do we talk about our needs in the relationship?
  31. Do we encourage each other to speak up?
  32. Can I express my opinions freely?
  33. Are we able to communicate well under stress?
  34. Do we both say what we mean?
  35. How often do we compliment each other?
  36. Are there misunderstandings that happen often?
  37. Do I feel I have to censor myself?
  38. Are we both clear about our expectations?
  39. Can we discuss our pasts openly?
  40. Do I feel free when we talk?

Regarding Trust

  1. Do I trust my partner completely?
  2. Has trust ever been broken between us?
  3. Can I rely on my partner’s words?
  4. Do I ever doubt what my partner tells me?
  5. Can I trust my partner with money?
  6. Do we keep secrets from each other?
  7. How does my partner react when I express doubt?
  8. Am I comfortable with my partner’s friends?
  9. Can I trust my partner around other people?
  10. Do I worry when my partner is out without me?
  11. Are there actions from the past still affecting our trust?
  12. Can we talk about past relationships without issues?
  13. Do I ever check my partner’s phone or messages?
  14. How does my partner react to my insecurities?
  15. Do I trust my partner’s decisions for our future?
  16. Are there things I don’t tell because I’m afraid of the reaction?
  17. Does my partner trust me as I trust them?
  18. Can I trust my partner’s promises?
  19. Do we have clear boundaries set with others?
  20. Do I ever feel the need to lie or hide the truth?
  21. Can I rely on my partner during tough times?
  22. Do we both feel safe in this relationship?
  23. How does my partner handle situations that test trust?
  24. Can I trust my partner with my feelings?
  25. Are there unresolved issues that shake our trust?
  26. How well do we rebuild trust after arguments?
  27. Do we trust each other’s family and friends?
  28. Can I rely on my partner to support my dreams?
  29. Do I ever fear my partner might cheat?
  30. Can I trust my partner with personal information?
  31. Are we open about our individual plans and whereabouts?
  32. Do I ever feel anxious about what my partner is doing?
  33. Can I trust my partner’s commitment to us?
  34. Do I second-guess things said in the relationship?
  35. Are there any red flags that affect our trust?
  36. Can I trust my partner to care for me if I’m ill?
  37. Do I trust that our relationship is a priority?
  38. How well do we handle jealousy?
  39. Can I trust my partner’s intentions towards me?
  40. Do I feel that trust has grown over time in our relationship?

Regarding Conflict Resolution

  1. How do we usually resolve our fights?
  2. Do I feel heard during arguments?
  3. Can we disagree without shouting?
  4. Do small disagreements turn into big fights?
  5. How quickly do we make up after an argument?
  6. Do we hold grudges?
  7. Can I express my frustrations calmly?
  8. Do we find solutions or just blame each other?
  9. Do past issues come up in new arguments?
  10. Can we both admit when we’re wrong?
  11. Do I avoid conflicts in fear of the outcome?
  12. Are our fights fair or below the belt?
  13. How do we handle it when we’re both upset?
  14. Do I often feel defensive?
  15. Do we give each other space when needed?
  16. Are there topics we avoid due to potential conflict?
  17. Can we discuss problems without personal attacks?
  18. Do I feel respected even during disagreements?
  19. Do we take time to understand each other’s perspectives?
  20. Are there recurring issues we never resolve?
  21. Do I feel safe expressing my concerns?
  22. Do we use silent treatment as a weapon?
  23. Are there things I’ve given up on discussing?
  24. How do we handle external conflicts (with others)?
  25. Do we support each other during disagreements with others?
  26. Can we discuss sensitive topics like money without fighting?
  27. Are we both willing to compromise?
  28. Do I suppress feelings to keep the peace?
  29. Are our arguments productive or repetitive?
  30. Do we apologize genuinely to each other?
  31. Can we pick our battles wisely?
  32. Do I feel like the blame is often shifted onto me?
  33. Are we able to laugh and lighten the mood after a disagreement?
  34. Can I express my needs without fear of backlash?
  35. Do we work together to avoid future conflicts?
  36. Are we both invested in resolving our issues?
  37. Do I often feel overwhelmed after our arguments?
  38. Can we reflect and learn from past conflicts?
  39. Do we seek outside help (like counseling) if needed?
  40. After resolving a conflict, do I feel closer or further from my partner?

Fulfillment and Happiness

  1. Am I happy in this relationship?
  2. Do I feel fulfilled with my partner by my side?
  3. Are my emotional needs met?
  4. Do we share moments of joy together?
  5. Can I be my genuine self without fear?
  6. Do we celebrate each other’s achievements?
  7. Do I feel supported in my personal goals?
  8. Are there more good days than bad ones?
  9. Do we share laughter often?
  10. Am I content with our daily routines?
  11. Do I feel energized or drained around my partner?
  12. Are we both invested in each other’s happiness?
  13. Do I feel a sense of peace in this relationship?
  14. Are we growing together in positive ways?
  15. Do I feel loved and cherished?
  16. Are we excited about our future together?
  17. Can I count on my partner to lift me up?
  18. Do I feel valued and important in this relationship?
  19. Are my opinions and feelings respected?
  20. Do we create happy memories together?
  21. Do I feel a sense of freedom and individuality?
  22. Are we able to find joy even in challenges?
  23. Do I feel a sense of purpose with my partner?
  24. Do our shared experiences enrich our lives?
  25. Can I share my worries and find comfort?
  26. Do I feel a strong bond and connection?
  27. Are we both committed to our mutual happiness?
  28. Can I envision more happy years together?
  29. Do we prioritize spending quality time together?
  30. Are we both equally satisfied in the relationship?

Regarding Shared Values and Goals

  1. Do we share the same life goals?
  2. Are our values aligned?
  3. Do we agree on major decisions?
  4. How do we handle differences in beliefs?
  5. Do we have similar financial goals?
  6. Are we on the same page about starting a family?
  7. Do we respect each other’s personal ambitions?
  8. Can we compromise on things we disagree about?
  9. Are our career goals in harmony?
  10. Do we share a common vision for our future?
  11. How do we handle cultural or religious differences?
  12. Do we agree on the roles we play in our relationship?
  13. Do we both prioritize our relationship’s growth?
  14. Are our lifestyle choices compatible?
  15. How do we feel about each other’s friendships?
  16. Do we have shared interests or hobbies?
  17. How important is it for us to align our goals?
  18. Can we both adapt if our goals change?
  19. Do we support each other’s personal growth?
  20. How do we handle disagreements about values?
  21. Are we open to discussing our individual dreams?
  22. Do we plan our future together?
  23. Can we celebrate our differences?
  24. Are our parenting styles (or potential styles) aligned?
  25. How do we handle extended family values and traditions?
  26. Do we discuss and set mutual goals regularly?
  27. Are we both committed to our shared goals?
  28. Do we understand the reasons behind each other’s values?
  29. How do we integrate our individual goals?
  30. Do we encourage each other to pursue personal passions?

Regarding Commitment and the Future

  1. Do I see a future with my partner?
  2. Are we both committed to making this work?
  3. How do we handle discussions about the future?
  4. Do I trust my partner’s commitment to me?
  5. Are we clear about our relationship status?
  6. How do we feel about marriage?
  7. Do we discuss long-term plans together?
  8. Am I confident about our path forward?
  9. Can we handle challenges as a united front?
  10. Do we both invest in our relationship’s growth?
  11. How do we handle uncertainties about the future?
  12. Are we both ready to make sacrifices for each other?
  13. Do I feel secure about where we’re headed?
  14. Can we discuss sensitive topics like children or relocation?
  15. Do we check in about our relationship’s health regularly?
  16. How do we plan for our shared goals?
  17. Are we both equally involved in major decisions?
  18. Do we envision the same kind of future?
  19. Can I rely on my partner for the long run?
  20. Do we both prioritize our relationship’s longevity?
  21. How do we handle external pressures about our future?
  22. Are we open to seeking help if needed, like couples counseling?
  23. Do we both take steps to nurture our bond?
  24. Can we discuss fears or doubts about the future openly?
  25. Do we have a plan for our shared financial future?
  26. Are we both ready to face potential challenges together?
  27. How do we handle discussions about potential life changes?
  28. Do I feel my partner is in this for the long haul?
  29. Can we celebrate each other’s growth and changes over time?
  30. Are we both excited about the next stages in our relationship?

Regarding Growth and Change

  1. Have we grown together since we met?
  2. How do we handle changes in our lives?
  3. Can I embrace my partner’s personal growth?
  4. Are we adaptable to each other’s changes?
  5. Do we encourage self-improvement in each other?
  6. How have our feelings evolved over time?
  7. Do we face challenges as opportunities for growth?
  8. Are we both willing to learn and change?
  9. How do we handle changes in our career paths?
  10. Do we support each other’s new interests or hobbies?
  11. Can I acknowledge my own areas of needed growth?
  12. Do we seek external resources, like books or counseling, for growth?
  13. Are we both open to feedback from each other?
  14. How have our goals shifted since being together?
  15. Do we regularly reflect on our relationship’s evolution?
  16. Can we navigate personal changes without growing apart?
  17. Do we celebrate our shared milestones and achievements?
  18. How do we support each other during individual challenges?
  19. Are our communication patterns evolving positively?
  20. Do I feel that we’ve matured together?
  21. How do we ensure our relationship remains fresh and not stagnant?
  22. Are we open to new experiences as a couple?
  23. Can we discuss our evolving needs and desires?
  24. Do we take time to appreciate our journey together?
  25. How do we handle evolving family dynamics?
  26. Are we both proactive about our relationship’s growth?
  27. Can we face unexpected life events as a team?
  28. Do we both acknowledge and adapt to each other’s changing priorities?
  29. How do we approach new phases in our relationship?
  30. Do we empower each other to be our best selves?

Regarding Boundaries

  1. Have we clearly defined our personal boundaries?
  2. Do I feel respected when I set a boundary?
  3. Are there lines we’ve agreed never to cross?
  4. Can I comfortably express my limits?
  5. How do we handle it when a boundary is crossed?
  6. Do I ever feel pressured to compromise my boundaries?
  7. Are our boundaries flexible as our relationship evolves?
  8. Do I understand and respect my partner’s boundaries?
  9. Can we talk openly about what makes us uncomfortable?
  10. Do I ever feel taken advantage of?
  11. Are there topics or situations we’ve set as off-limits?
  12. How do we ensure our boundaries with external people (friends, family)?
  13. Do we have boundaries regarding social media and our relationship?
  14. Do I ever feel obligated to do things I’m not comfortable with?
  15. Can we set boundaries without feeling guilty?
  16. Are there boundaries regarding our time and personal space?
  17. How do we handle boundaries about our pasts?
  18. Do I feel safe and protected in this relationship?
  19. Can we discuss and revise boundaries if needed?
  20. Do we respect each other’s need for alone time?
  21. How do we handle financial boundaries?
  22. Do we have clear boundaries regarding our intimate life?
  23. Can I trust my partner to uphold our mutual boundaries?
  24. Do I feel listened to when discussing boundary concerns?
  25. Are our boundaries built on mutual respect?
  26. How do we handle boundaries when one of us is upset?
  27. Do we have shared values about setting boundaries?
  28. Can we set boundaries without fear of backlash?
  29. Do I feel the freedom to be myself within our set boundaries?
  30. Are we consistent in respecting and upholding our boundaries?

Regarding External Pressures

  1. How do we handle societal expectations as a couple?
  2. Do our families influence our relationship decisions?
  3. Are we pressured by friends’ opinions or comparisons?
  4. How do we deal with cultural or religious differences?
  5. Do external commitments (like work) strain our relationship?
  6. How do we handle financial pressures together?
  7. Do we feel pressured to meet certain milestones (like marriage or kids)?
  8. How do we navigate relationship advice from outsiders?
  9. Are we influenced by portrayals of relationships in media?
  10. How do we prioritize our bond amidst external stress?
  11. Do societal norms impact how we view our roles?
  12. How do we handle unsolicited advice or interference?
  13. Are we affected by the successes or challenges of other couples we know?
  14. Do we feel pressure to showcase our relationship online?
  15. How do we handle differences in our social circles?
  16. Are we swayed by others’ expectations about our lifestyle choices?
  17. Do we feel the need to fit a certain “relationship image”?
  18. How do we stand united during external conflicts?
  19. Are external commitments balanced with our relationship needs?
  20. How do we protect our relationship from negative external influences?
  21. Do we discuss and confront pressures together?
  22. Are we impacted by societal views on age or timelines?
  23. How do external events (like politics or world events) affect our bond?
  24. Do we set boundaries with those who pressurize our relationship?
  25. How do we maintain our identity as a couple amidst external voices?
  26. Are we influenced by others’ views on intimacy or relationship roles?
  27. How do we support each other during external challenges?
  28. Are we united in our decisions, regardless of outside opinions?
  29. Do we let go of external pressures and focus on our happiness?
  30. How regularly do we check in to ensure external pressures aren’t driving our choices?

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I do if reflecting on these questions brings up concerns or issues?

  • Talk to your partner: Open and honest dialogue is crucial.
  • Seek guidance: Sometimes, professional counseling or therapy can provide neutral ground and strategies.
  • Prioritize your well-being: If these questions highlight any red flags, consider what’s best for your mental and emotional health.

Can singles benefit from these questions?

Yes! Even if you’re not currently in a relationship, these questions can:

  • Prepare you for future partnerships.
  • Offer insights into past relationships.
  • Help you understand what you truly want from a partner.

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Bea Mariel Saulo

Bea is an editor and writer with a passion for literature and self-improvement. Her ability to combine these two interests enables her to write informative and thought-provoking articles that positively impact society. She enjoys reading stories and listening to music in her spare time.