Relationships are like plants—neglect them, and they’ll wilt. Water them too much, and, well, they’ll drown. Somewhere in between, there’s a balance: communication, trust, and the occasional Netflix marathon with pizza.
Relationships take work, self-awareness, and the right questions to figure out what’s really going on.
These lists of questions will help you reflect on where your relationship stands and where it’s headed. From trust and goals to conflict and intimacy, these questions are here to help you dig a little deeper.
Ready? Let’s take a closer look at your relationship.
Table of Contents
Relationship Dynamics
- How do I feel about the balance of power and decision-making in my relationship?
- Do I communicate well with my partner, or do I struggle to express my needs and feelings?
- How do I handle disagreements—do I stay calm, or do I become defensive?
- Are our communication styles compatible, or do we often misunderstand each other?
- Do I feel like we’re both putting equal effort into the relationship?
- How do we spend quality time together, and does it feel fulfilling to me?
- Do I feel like I can be my authentic self when I’m with my partner?
- Are there any habits or behaviors my partner has that I find difficult to accept?
- Do I notice any recurring patterns—both healthy and unhealthy—in how we interact?
- How do I feel about the way we resolve conflicts?
- Are we good at sharing responsibilities, or do I feel burdened?
- Does my partner understand and support my personal boundaries?
- Do I feel heard and validated when I share my concerns?
- Are there moments where I feel disconnected from my partner, and why might that be?
- How do I show love and appreciation to my partner, and do I feel the same in return?
Relationship Goals and Future Plans
- Do my partner and I share the same vision for the future?
- Have we discussed where we want to live or settle down long-term?
- How do I feel about our views on marriage or commitment?
- Do we agree on whether or not we want to have children, and if so, how we would raise them?
- Have we talked about financial goals, like saving for a house or planning for retirement?
- How do I feel about our career priorities and how they align with our relationship?
- Are we clear on what “success” in our relationship looks like for both of us?
- Do we make time to set goals and plan things together—like trips, hobbies, or future milestones?
- How do I feel about our progress in working toward shared goals?
- Are there any significant life choices I’m afraid to bring up?
- How do I feel about our ability to adapt to changes in our plans?
- Do we have the same timeline for major steps like moving in together, marriage, or starting a family?
- Have we talked about supporting each other’s personal goals and dreams?
- Do I feel confident that we’re on the same page about long-term stability and security?
- Are there unresolved goals or plans I’m nervous about confronting in the relationship?
Trust, Security, and Emotional Safety
- Do I feel safe being vulnerable with my partner?
- Does my partner consistently keep their promises and commitments to me?
- How do I feel about the level of trust in our relationship?
- Are there any behaviors or situations that make me question my partner’s honesty?
- Do I feel emotionally secure, knowing my feelings and needs are respected?
- How does my partner respond when I share something deeply personal or sensitive?
- Do I worry about being judged or criticized when I open up about my thoughts?
- Have there been breaches of trust that I still struggle to forgive or move past?
- Do I feel that I can rely on my partner in difficult situations?
- Does my partner respect my privacy and personal boundaries?
- How confident am I that my partner will support me during tough times?
- Do I feel safe expressing my fears, insecurities, or doubts without causing a conflict?
- Are there things I feel I must hide or keep secret to maintain peace?
- Do I feel emotionally and physically secure in this relationship?
- How do I feel about the way we’ve built trust over time—has it grown, stayed the same, or weakened?
Personal Growth Within the Relationship
- How has being in this relationship helped me grow as a person?
- Do I feel supported in pursuing my personal goals and interests?
- Are there habits or behaviors I’ve improved since entering this relationship?
- Does my partner encourage me to be the best version of myself?
- Am I able to maintain my individuality while being in this relationship?
- How do I feel about the way my partner handles their personal growth?
- Are there areas of personal improvement I’ve neglected because of this relationship?
- Do we inspire each other to learn and try new things?
- How do I feel about the way we handle constructive criticism?
- Am I proud of the person I’m becoming as I navigate this relationship?
- Are there times I feel held back or limited by my partner?
- Do I feel like we are growing together at a similar pace?
- How do I balance my personal needs with my partner’s expectations?
- Have I developed any unhealthy patterns I need to address?
- Do I feel confident that my personal growth aligns with the growth of this relationship?
Fulfillment and Happiness Within the Relationship
- Do I feel happy and fulfilled when I think about my relationship?
- What moments bring me the most joy in my relationship?
- Do I feel genuinely appreciated and valued by my partner?
- How satisfied am I with the way we spend time together?
- Are my emotional needs being met in this relationship?
- Do I feel like my partner brings out the best in me?
- Is there a balance between giving and receiving happiness in the relationship?
- What specific things could we do to make the relationship more fulfilling?
- Do I feel excited about the future when I think about my partner?
- Are there aspects of the relationship that leave me feeling unfulfilled?
- How do I feel about the effort we put into keeping each other happy?
- Do I still experience joy and fun with my partner like I did early on?
- How do I feel about the emotional connection I share with my partner?
- Am I proud of the relationship we’ve built so far?
- Does the relationship add to my overall sense of purpose and contentment?
Emotional and Physical Intimacy
- Do I feel emotionally connected to my partner on a deep level?
- How satisfied am I with the physical intimacy in our relationship?
- Are there moments when I feel distant or disconnected from my partner?
- How do I express affection, and does my partner understand my love language?
- Do I feel comfortable discussing my needs for intimacy with my partner?
- Are there areas of intimacy I feel nervous or hesitant about?
- How do I feel about the balance of emotional and physical closeness?
- Do I feel appreciated and desired by my partner?
- Are there barriers keeping us from being more emotionally intimate?
- Do I feel supported when I’m emotionally vulnerable with my partner?
- How often do I feel the need for physical closeness, and is it being met?
- Do I and my partner maintain physical intimacy even during challenging times?
- How do we build emotional intimacy beyond physical affection?
- Are there changes I’d like to see in how we express love and closeness?
- Do I feel confident that our emotional and physical needs are both prioritized?
Red Flags or Patterns of Conflict
- Are there recurring arguments that never seem to get resolved?
- Do I feel like I’m always compromising more than I should?
- Are there unhealthy behaviors in my partner that I’m ignoring?
- Do we tend to avoid conflicts instead of addressing them?
- How do I feel about my partner’s way of handling anger or stress?
- Are there trust issues that remain unaddressed?
- Do I feel emotionally drained after arguments with my partner?
- Have I noticed patterns of controlling behavior?
- Are there unresolved conflicts that keep resurfacing?
- How do I feel about the way we handle apologies and forgiveness?
- Are there outside influences (family, friends, work) that fuel our conflicts?
- Do I sometimes feel like I’m walking on eggshells around my partner?
- Are there moments when I feel disrespected or unimportant?
- Do we escalate minor disagreements into major arguments?
- Do I sense a lack of willingness to improve or change destructive patterns?
Managing Life Challenges Together
- How do we handle financial stress as a couple?
- Are we able to support each other during personal hardships?
- How do I feel about the way we approach big decisions?
- Do we rely on each other when faced with unexpected challenges?
- How do I feel about our teamwork when solving problems?
- Are there external stresses, like family or work, that affect our relationship?
- Do I feel supported when I share my struggles with my partner?
- How do we handle changes or setbacks in life plans?
- Do we have clear communication during challenging times?
- How do I feel about my partner’s ability to manage stress?
- Are there challenges we tend to avoid rather than face head-on?
- Do we help each other find solutions, or does blame take over?
- Are we resilient and able to bounce back as a couple after tough situations?
- Do we show patience and understanding when life gets hard?
- How confident am I that we can handle any challenges life throws at us together?
Final Thoughts
Remember, no relationship is perfect. There will be good days, tough days, and days where you’re just figuring it out as you go. What matters most is that you’re willing to check in, be honest with yourself, and put in the effort.
Relationships are a journey, and asking the right questions helps you enjoy the ride—even with a few bumps along the way.
