“Breaking up is hard to do.” – Neil Sedaka
Writers have used breaking up as inspiration for their material for centuries. A breakup encompasses so many human emotions that there is plenty of material to create with.
But we don’t have to live in a sad story. We can break free of those emotions and move on to be the inspiration behind the next great adventure story. Or even the next romantic story.
To shake off that last sad story we sometimes need to get an entirely new view. Not just in the way we think, but literally through travel.
A breakup vacation is a perfect way to heal your wounds, get in touch with your emotions and start anew.
Why travel helps after a breakup
Here are some ways that travel helps you get over your ex and move on.
1. Travel stops constant reminders of your ex
This one is especially beneficial the earlier into a breakup you are. When you go to the same restaurant, the same movie theater, or simply stay at home. It reminds you of all the times you were there with your ex and the life events that went with them.
Traveling gets you out of town and exploring new locations with no memories attached to them. This reduces your exposure to the past and allows you to focus on the present moment and the future instead.
2. Travel increases your self-esteem
In any breakup, your self-esteem can take a hit, even if you were the one doing the leaving. By going on a solo trip or doing something you would not do you can give yourself a much-needed boost of confidence.
Every small victory increases your self-esteem. So even the planning of the trip will give your confidence a boost. What you do does not have to be extreme to get the self-esteem boost. It is about doing not necessarily what you are doing.
3. Travel gives you a chance to focus on you
Self-love and some quality self-care time is always beneficial in helping you get over the pain. At home, you still have responsibilities that will nag at you for attention, even if it is just laundry.
Going on vacation allows you to not worry about day to day tasks. Especially if you go on an all-inclusive, where you have no responsibilities. You don’t even need to make sure you have your wallet on you!
Related: Why Is Self Love Important?
4. Travel helps you rediscover yourself
Hands down, this is the most beneficial part of traveling after a breakup. When you are in a relationship it is easy to lose sight of who you are. You make compromises for the relationship to work.
But once the relationship is over, you don’t need to continue making the same compromises. Yet we don’t even realize that we are not doing what we want to do.
As you start to do things for you, you realize exactly what you love and what you did for your ex. This not only reintroduces you to you. But allows you to stop doing activities that may be draining on you.
5. Travel gives you the space to create plans for your new future
When you lose a relationship, you also lose the dreams attached to it. Your goals and life plans were tied to this person. You have to mourn that those plans will not come to fruition.
But most importantly you need to create a new vision for your future. Having a path forward in your life will help you accept and move on from the breakup.
How to pick out where to go
You are on board and ready to travel. Now you need to figure out where you are going to go and plan the trip. Here are some things you need to decide and do to make your breakup vacation happen.
What is the goal of the trip
We know it is to get over your ex, but there are many ways to do that. Here are four tips to consider:
Self-care or nurture
This trip is all about mothering yourself. Taking care of your basic needs, restoring yourself spiritually and letting yourself feel all your emotions. As painful as it is to feel, it is one of the best ways to move through the pain and get to the other side. If you want to do this type of trip you need to decide what type of nurturing is best for you.
Do you want to be in nature? Do you want an all-inclusive make zero decisions trip or do you want a dedicated spa/healing retreat? Decide what relaxes or soothes you the most and pick that trip.
Examples might be a resort in Mexico or the Caribbean. A retreat at a place like the Chopra Center or renting a house at the ocean.
Sometimes you want to go have a good time. You might not be ready to deal with the emotions but need to let go of some of the stress. You want to dance all night, shop, and chat with friends.
If this is your goal, then you will look for places like Las Vegas, where there are plenty of options to go out and have fun.
Related: How to Be Happy Alone?
In this trip, you are focused on getting out there and building your self-esteem. Doing things, you would never have dreamed of before. Letting your adrenaline fuel your realization that you will be okay.
Think of things like skydiving, walking on a glacier, or kayaking in the ocean. If you are ready for an adrenaline boost to get over your ex, New Zealand is a great place for adventure activities. There are also organized adventure tours if you prefer to let someone else do the organizing.
It does not have to be one specific trip. If the thought of doing one type of trip is dreadful, then combine them. For example, you could pick a high-end hotel in New York City. You can get pampered during the day and have plenty of nighttime options for fun.
Do you want to go solo
You know what you want to do, not it is time to decide if you are off on your own or taking your friends.
Taking friends and traveling alone both have their advantages. Traveling solo is a great way to dig in and learn more about yourself and increase your self-esteem. It also has the advantage of forcing you to learn to be alone and at the same time meet new people.
While taking your friends, provides you the support that you may need. They can be there to talk through your feelings. To push you to leave the hotel room. And to be the voice of reason that you need.
Make sure to take the friends that you can travel with and won’t make it all about them. This is your trip to healing. You don’t need to worry about taking care of your friends.
Set down ground rules before you go
This is like picking the type of trip but will be more detailed in the specifics for your type of trip. Setting some rules ahead of time can help you when you are in the moment. It stops you from doing something you might regret.
After all, you are in an emotionally fragile state. It is easy to get carried away when out of your normal routine and end up doing something you will regret later. Make sure that if you are going with friends, they know what you do and don’t want to do.
These are some examples of rules you might consider:
- Do you want to hook up?
- How much are you going to spend?
- Are you letting yourself talk about your ex?
- Do you want a limit on how much you can talk about them?
- Are you going to make it a social media-free trip?
Pick someplace new
One of the benefits of travel after a breakup is that you get away from the reminders of your ex. This means you can’t go somewhere that you used to go on vacation.
.Even if you stay in a different part of town, it still has some emotions tied to it. No running into memories on this trip! Everything needs to be new and just for you.
Book the trip
Once you have narrowed down what you want the trip to be about you can start booking it. You have two options. You can book it all on your own or you can find a good travel agent.
Travel agents are good if you are worried about your emotional brain will make some mistakes. A good travel agent can make a world of difference.
You can try places like AAA or do a google search for someone specializing in the location you are traveling to. The more a travel agent knows about a specific location, the better they can make your trip.
Feel like you have everything under control or have minimal things to book, then plan your trip on your own. It is a great way to start working on boosting your self-esteem. You can use aggregator sites like Kayak to make sure you are getting the best deal.
Pack your bags and enjoy
Now for the fun part. Traveling and getting over your ex! Go out there and write your new story!
Things to keep in mind
You may need more than one trip, especially if your relationship was a long one. Start with the type of trip you need the most and then plan another type for later in the year. Traveling is a powerful tool for personal growth. You don’t have to limit yourself to only one breakup trip.
This does not need to be an expensive big trip. The benefits of travel are the same if you go halfway around the world or a two-hour car drive away. The goal is to get out of your regular routine and take care of yourself.
Ultimately remember this trip is for you, so pick something that will provide for what you need right now. Then relax and have fun!