When you’re investing a lot of your time and energy into a particular person, it’s crucial to know his motives before you fall too hard.
Here are the signs that indicate he wants to start a relationship with you.
Table of Contents
- He initiates contact
- He plans and thinks of the future
- He gives up free time to spend it with you
- He introduces you to family and friends
- He’ll say it
- He remembers the details
- He respects you and your boundaries
- Partners who want a serious relationship with you talk about loving you
- Serious partners engage you on plans for the future
- He demonstrates signs of mature love
- He is always checking in for no apparent reason
- He spares no details
- He makes sure to spend more time with you
- He wants to know you on a much deeper level
- He will pursue you
- He introduces you to the important people in his life
- He is present when he’s with you
- He listens and pays attention
- He makes time for you
- He introduces you to his friends and family
- He plans for the future
- He is willing to compromise
- He starts introducing you to his friends
- You’re not only together when sex is likely
- He starts talking about “us”
- He shows up for you every day
- You don’t just “Netflix and Chill”
- He’s comfortable making long term plans
- You’re the only woman in his life
- They introduce you to their friends
- He talks about plans for the future
- He’s willing to sacrifice some of his freedom
Relationship Consultant and Breakup Specialist, Ex-Boyfriend Recovery
Often when it comes to a guy showing interest in a partner, these signs can differ slightly depending on their love language and attachment style, but often the majority of those signs are similar.
He initiates contact
When they are reaching out to you often, and more than what you are reaching out to them then take this as a positive sign that they are interested in you.
He plans and thinks of the future
When you are talking to your guy, if he is talking about future plans and trying to book dates and events that are in the future, then this is a sign that he is thinking about being around long term. He is picturing himself being with you in those situations.
He gives up free time to spend it with you
Guys like to have time to themselves so if they are giving up their free time to spend it with you, and having less alone time, or time with his friends, then this is him showing interest in you.
If a guy is giving up his free time to be with you then this is a clear sign that he is investing in the relationship.
He introduces you to family and friends
When you start meeting his inner circle, meeting his friends, and family members is a sign that he is thinking of having a deeper relationship with you, he is not going to introduce you to this part of his life if he is not planning on having you around long term.
Dr. Laura Louis
Licensed Psychologist | Owner, Atlanta Couple Therapy
When it comes to knowing how to identify signs that he wants a relationship with you, it all comes down to intimacy.
He’ll say it
First of all, the biggest and most obvious sign that he wants to be in a relationship with you is if he verbally expresses his interest in a potential relationship to you.
This goes along with healthy and frequent forms of communication. If he wants to be in a relationship with you, he’ll make sure to keep in touch with you, even if that means calling you for no evident reason.
He remembers the details
If he’s serious about being interested in you, he will remember details about you, whether it’s big or small. He’ll remember the things that you’re into and incorporate them into his life.
He respects you and your boundaries
Lastly, if he’s looking for a relationship with you, he will give you the respect you deserve and respect your boundaries– no matter what they are. If he wants to be in a relationship with you, he’s thinking long-term not short-term!
For example, if you tell him that you’re not ready for sexual intimacy with him, and he’s serious about a relationship, this shouldn’t matter to him; he will honor your boundaries and won’t pressure you for short-term gratification.
Rosalind Sedacca, CLC
Founder, Child-Centered Divorce Network | Dating & Relationship Coach | Author, 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60
Partners who want a serious relationship with you talk about loving you
He will frequently say, “It’s my pleasure,” That statement means “I am doing this for you because I want to. It gives me the joy to help you, accommodate you, be there for you, or support you in ways you deserve.”
It’s not about “shoulds” or “obligations” or “rules” for being a partner. It’s about wanting to do something for you because he believes you deserve it and loves seeing you happy.
That makes all the difference in the world.
Serious partners engage you on plans for the future
Let’s do this together. Want to take a vacation? They talk about sharing apartments, pets, a family someday. They also introduce you to their best friends, parents, and co-workers they like.
Their language says it all. He will frequently use WE, US, OUR, or TOGETHER in their conversations with you. You feel like a partner, not a passing friend.
He demonstrates signs of mature love
Mature love is based on character, plain, and simple. That means you are qualifying partners by focusing on his integrity, honesty, level of compassion, mutual interests, mutual values, short and long-term goals, and aspirations.
Mature love goes beyond the physical. Physical characteristics play a part in attraction but not in real mature love. Height, weight, physique, hairstyles, and other physical traits change and evolve over time. Ethics and integrity usually are life-long attributes we share with pride.
Mature love is inclusive love. It looks ahead to a long future before us. He shows a mindset of inclusion with you as his partner. He’s not judgmental and superficial which is common in immature love which is based on whims, unrealistic expectations, and immediate gratification.
When he wants a relationship with you he sticks around. He won’t give up. He’s there for you and you know it!
Madeleine Mason Roantree
Dating Coach | Director of Relationship Psychology Services, Vida Consultancy
He is always checking in for no apparent reason
When someone is really interested in you, they can’t help checking in and hearing how you are doing.
Look out for random texts, excuses to chat with you, and opportunities to see you. If they are uncertain about how you feel about them, they may not actually invite you out on a date.
He spares no details
Short of asking you to date them, a person who is genuinely keen to make things romantic with you will share details about their lives. They will make it clear that they are single and available. You will have a sense of who they, what their interests are etc.
The more open someone is about their life, interests, and plans, the more likely they are trying to convince you that they are a good catch.
He makes sure to spend more time with you
If someone wants to date you, they will want to spend time with you. They may arrange drinks or parties with whatever social group you are in, so they get to see you. You are likely to get asked to join them in a gig or movie because they ‘happen’ to have an extra ticket. They will linger longer in your presence.
If you are wondering why they don’t take things further, consider that you are not giving them signals that you are interested in them.
Relationship Expert, Dating Pilot
A man who wants a serious relationship with a woman will show a high level of interest and determination to obtain such a relationship.
They want more than just a casual fling and they definitely do not want to be in the friend zone. They will try their hardest to go beyond such labels and make things official.
He wants to know you on a much deeper level
There are certain behaviors that a man who wants a serious relationship will engage in to obtain this type of relationship.
A big indicator that they are interested in that they will want to get to know you, and not just knowing what your favorite food or color is, but they want to know you on a much deeper level.
They will want to know what your interests are, what your life goals are, what your faith and beliefs are, they will ask questions to know all there is to know about you.
They will also be open about who they are and allow you to get to know them on a deep level as well. A man who just wants a fling will have boundaries and will not allow you to form a deep connection with him.
He will pursue you
Another indicator that a man wants a serious relationship is that he will pursue you. You are constantly on his mind and therefore he will communicate with you throughout the day.
They will want to know how your day is going, how your presentation at work went, how you did on your mid-term etc.
They want to be involved in your life and will make an effort to stay involved. They will also want to spend time with you and make arrangements to meet you.
A man who is serious about pursuing a relationship with you doesn’t cancel prearranged plans and is always shows up.
He introduces you to the important people in his life
A man who is interested in a serious relationship with you will also want to introduce you to his friends and maybe even his family. You are important to him and therefore will want the other important people in his life to meet you.
He may also inquire about your relationship goals to determine whether or not they align with his. He might even be forward and tell you that he would like a serious relationship and will want to know if you want the same thing.
Founder and CEO, Select Date Society
He is present when he’s with you
He is not constantly checking his phone or distracted with other things. He truly enjoys being in your presence and spending time with you.
He listens and pays attention
If you mention that you love lilacs, he makes a mental note and shows up on your next date with a lilac scented candle. If you are passionately discussing a topic, he may text you a link to an article on the subject.
If you mention that you get anxious meeting new people, he takes time to prepare you before meeting his friends.
He makes time for you
He doesn’t blow you off to play golf with his friends or seem preoccupied with his career. He makes you a priority.
He introduces you to his friends and family
If he makes it a point to take you to events with his friends and/or family, he definitely views you as someone who will be in his life long term.
He plans for the future
It may be summer time and he mentions getting you a Christmas gift. When he discusses details for future plans, he includes you.
He is willing to compromise
He may be messy and you’re a neat freak, so he makes it a point to start keeping his home and car cleaner. He may always have taco Tuesdays with the guys, but he skips it one week to take you to a new movie you want to see.
Matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking
When it comes to relationships, actions really do speak louder than words. When he wants a relationship with you, you don’t need to guess because you will know. Is he knocking at your door and calling? There you have it. There will be no guessing.
You have heard people say it’s complicated, or the person they are interested in is just busy. Even with complicated situations and busy schedules, most people can make time for a relationship if they do want it.
If you are unsure how he feels and are left guessing, that might be because he either isn’t sure yet or isn’t looking for a relationship.
Signs that someone wants a relationship with you:
- He makes time in his life for you. Someone that is interested commits to spending time with you on a regular basis and it flows. They want to be with you.
- He is interested in learning more about you. He hangs on to your every word and just can’t get enough and wants to know more.
- He introduces you to his friends and family. This is a big sign that someone wants more when they start introducing you to the important people in their life.
- He tells you about his day and asks about yours. He asks sincerely. When someone is sharing details of their life, you know.
- You always feel welcome in their space. He feels open and is welcoming in general.
Dating and Relationship Expert, Beyond Ages
He starts introducing you to his friends
The more people in your partner’s life that you meet the more complicated it becomes if the relationship runs it’s course.
If your partner starts introducing you to his friends, and especially his family, that is a very strong sign that he’s thinking longer-term and is interested in a relationship. Guys are judged by the women they date so it’s a big deal when he decides that you’re worth showing off.
You’re not only together when sex is likely
Flings are all about short-term fun in the bedroom. If you see a pattern where you and your partner only meet up where sex is likely there is a good chance at least one of you only sees the relationship as a fling, at least for now.
However, if you see a trend where more and more you’re getting together for fun outside of the bedroom that’s a clear sign he actually enjoys being around you and would be interested in something real.
As the frequency of your clothed time together increases, so does the likelihood that he wants a relationship.
He starts talking about “us”
Many guys are not particularly subtle when it comes to dating. If your partner starts talking about the two of you as a unit, especially when making plans, he is already thinking about a relationship.
The further out into the future he makes plans with you the more likely he is to be interested in a relationship.
Relationship Coach, BreathHustleGlow
He shows up for you every day
If you can count on waking up to a good morning text and he talks to you every day, that’s a very good sign he wants to be with you!
A man who wants to be with you will make time for you in his schedule and initiate hanging out. If he’s putting in a consistent effort to spend time with you and has become a constant presence in your life, he probably wants a relationship.
You don’t just “Netflix and Chill”
We all know there’s a big difference between casually hooking up and being in a relationship. If the guy you’re seeing is taking you out on dates, introducing you to his friends, and taking a genuine interest in you, he sees you as more than just as casual fling.
If you mostly just hang out at his house and the only talking you do is in bed, you may want to have a talk about expectations.
He’s comfortable making long term plans
If your guy is okay making plans with you months into the future, he sees you still being around! A man does not make confirmed plans with a woman he does not see himself getting serious with.
If he’s planning a vacation with you or talks about things he’s excited to do with you next year, it’s a really good sign he wants to be with you.
You’re the only woman in his life
When a guy deletes the dating apps off his phone and stops talking to other girls, he is getting ready for a relationship. By making you the only woman in his life, he is telling you through his actions that he cares about you enough to commit.
If he brings up the idea of dating each other exclusively, he definitely wants a relationship. He may just be waiting for you to make things official!
Tiffany Schneider, MACP
Life Coach | Certified Hypnotherapist, Life Change Advice
If he wants a relationship with you, you’ll know it. And if you don’t know it, he might not want to be in a relationship with you that bad. It really goes back to grandma’s advice, let him run after you.
Though this doesn’t sound particularly politically correct in our day and age, and there’s a place for a woman running after a man too, if someone wants you enough they’ll work for it. They’ll prove themselves and they’ll be consistent. They’ll appreciate you because they had to work for you.
So the question is ladies, are you willing to exhibit the patience and strength of character to allow him to prove it to you, all the while being respectful and caring back?
A true and healthy relationship is built on two people exhibiting love through committed actions towards each other. It’s easy to fall into a passion with someone, it’s harder to sustain love. This takes work.
You may need to wait through the initial passionate stage (say three months) to really know if he’s just being passionate or wants a relationship.
The signs he wants a relationship with you are:
- You feel good about yourself in his presence.
- He’s consistent in his efforts and affections.
- He treats you like you’re a priority, always answers the phone, gets back to you, and gives you his attention.
- He calls you.
- He asks you out routinely. He wants to see you.
- He makes the effort to come to you and doesn’t expect you to do the majority of the work.
It really is that simple. If it’s not, then maybe he’s just not that into you.
Managing Editor, ChildMode
When it comes to men and relationships, they often take the initiative and are very direct about it. But if they aren’t, they do leave some signs here and there that tell them that they’re interested in moving things forward.
They introduce you to their friends
One of the most obvious things that they’re starting to commit is that they’ll introduce you to their family. However, men introducing you to their friends is also a sign as well.
It’s a sign that they don’t view you as just a fling and that they’re ready to include you in their social circle or at least they’re giving you a chance to become part of it.
He talks about plans for the future
Plans about dates and meetups don’t count. If a man discusses more personal things far in the future, then its a sign that they’re starting to consider you in their future plans as well.
Whether they’re aware of this or not doesn’t matter, what matters is that he sees himself in the future with you which is a big sign, that he wants more than a physical relationship.
He’s willing to sacrifice some of his freedom
Single men are free and wild they can do whatever they want. But if a man is willing to cancel his plans to spend some time with you or cancel game night with his boys, then it’s a telltale sign that he wants you to be his girlfriend.
It’s a sign that he’s willing to enter a relationship and sacrifice some of his personal joys and make it the joys of a couple between the two of you.
- Get professional counseling from a licensed therapist.
- Individual and couples counseling. Anytime, anywhere.