30+ Signs of a Weak Man in a Relationship

The signs of a weak man are hidden beneath the surface. The problem is, men have been conditioned not to show their emotions, so they’re often hard to spot, especially when they are trying their best and making an effort.

But it’s not always so difficult to find out what kind of guy you’re dating.

According to experts, here are the signs of a weak man in a relationship:

Candice Harper

Candice Harper

Relationship Coach | Matchmaker, Select Date Society

To determine whether a partner could be classified as weak actually takes a lot of self-reflection. I have to be willing to ask myself, “Do I know the distinction between character flaws and lack of love for me?”

Also, we want to be aware of whether our critique of others is just perfectionism kicking in or legitimate discernment. Contrary to the “red flag” myth, identifying another’s issues does not ensure we will be able to pinpoint whether a potential partner is actually viable for a relationship. In other words, the judgments we make are all just perceptions based on limited evidence.

Additionally, when we don’t like how a man treats us, it doesn’t necessarily make him weak. It can also mean he’s just not the partner for us.

There is one thing that will make his ability to be strong in a relationship evidently clear. Releasing the paradigm that weakness has anything to do with whether he can love you and focusing on whether he is able to healthfully love himself.

Mainly because if he can’t love himself, not only is he in a weak state, he certainly doesn’t have enough love to share with you. Here are some signs, if experienced consistently over time, that a man truly is in a stage of weakness in his life.

He cannot keep his word

What he says and what he does rarely align. In fact, you often find yourself eye-rolling while he’s over-promising because you’re so used to his under-delivery. A man who has no relationship with his word is not only weak but powerless. It means that he lets life’s challenges throw him off his game.

If you often hear, “I know I said I would but…” You’re dealing with weakness.

He does not empathize

When he can’t possibly see how someone else may struggle or be challenged by life. When holding you for anything other than sex is a foreign idea.

When he’s skeptical of your emotions, it’s likely that he doesn’t know how to care for his own emotions and therefore has zero strength to connect with anyone else’s.

He is competitive over supportive

Sure, a little healthy competition can be fun, but if your successes darken his day, he likely feels unworthy at his core. When we don’t feel worthy, we often devalue others, become fearful they will leave, or even try to sabotage them.

He uses hurtful words or violence to express his negative emotions

Kind of a no-brainer but cannot be repeated enough. A man who has not healed his history will continuously bring it into his present through anger. It takes a great deal of strength to face our demons.

He is competitive with people that love you

A weak man needs constant reassurance that he is more valuable to you than anyone else. An emotionally strong man understands that insecurities may arise, but when it comes to love and support, a couple’s motto should be “The more, the merrier.”

He has an irresponsible relationship with money

Self-worth is directly related to self-provision. It’s not the numbers in the bank account; it’s the ability to sustain his life and often the lives of others at a level that is agreeable to all involved.

Financial aptitude takes fortitude.

If he has children, you wouldn’t know it

Deadbeat Dads are notoriously weak. It’s not necessarily terminal, but it is something that takes a great deal of strength to transform. If he fails to connect with his children month after month, year after year, he just doesn’t have the emotional muscle required to be strong in a relationship.

He has no ideas, creativity, or visions for the future

A weak man continually stops himself before he starts. He’ll often stay at a job he hates. He’ll make a million excuses for why anything ambitious is impossible. He’ll give up before he begins.

He’s colossally shallow and expects you to be a “10” every moment

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone who is attractive, but when a man has stringent physical requirements for a partner that overrides all else, he’s looking for an ego boost.

The short-lived kind that only comes from the approval of others. Usually, his father.

He expects you to financially support him indefinitely

This one is more of a personal judgment than a hard rule. Everyone is entitled to set up gender roles and dynamics that suit their preferences in a relationship. The caveat is whether or not both people enter into a provisional agreement unaware.

A man who determines on his own that you will always foot the bills with no relief is disconnected from his masculine energy. A state of being that is both emotionally and physically weak.

He’s very uncomfortable around other men

He’s very uncomfortable around other men, particularly if they are physically fit or successful. He’s likely in a secret game of compare and despair, which would make anyone uncomfortable and even fearful. Superiority is a product of perception.

If we hold ourselves up to the standards of what we perceive to be great in others, we will feel inferior, and therefore weak.

Related: How to Stop Feeling Inferior to Others?

He has no relationship with purpose

It’s not so much that he has to have already figured out his reason for being. Just the understanding that when he creates one, he’s just much more powerful. When we know our “why” for anything we choose to do, it’s like having a North Star to guide our choices.

A man who just does what he was taught or told to do won’t have the integrity that comes from actualizing himself.

If you’re experiencing any of the above with a partner, the invitation is to check in with your relationship with yourself. Like the old adage, “When we spot it, we got it.” If he is weak, who do you have to be to maintain a relationship with him?

The upside is that we all experience stages of weakness, and we all have the ability to transform it into strength. The caveat is to be aware that change can only come from within. Nothing perpetuates weakness more than the attempt to change someone else.

Colleen Gallagher

Colleen Gallagher

Intuitive Personal Development Coach | Psychology PhD Candidate

Signs of a weak man in a relationship:

He’s being rude towards strangers

How he talks to strangers should matter a lot because if he is rude to a random stranger, imagine what he will do to someone he believes loves him and trusts him.

When you see this behavior, it is not your job to correct him, yet nicely mention, “Hey, I think how you spoke to that person was a little harsh. Why do you think you did this?”

If for any reason, he becomes hostile towards you or unwilling to speak about it, this is your sign to question if you are in the right relationship or to leave.

He’s gaslighting

A man making you feel that your reality or what you are experiencing is made up or not real, or that you are dramatic or emotional—these are keywords for a man trying to have a woman second guess her feelings and reality instead of trusting what is true for her.

If a man cannot handle all your feelings communicated in a healthy way, this is a massive unhealthy sign.

A suggestion is to share, “This is really how I am experiencing reality. Is there a way we can talk through this so I feel supported, safe, seen, and held in the relationship, and you feel like you know what is going on with me, so together we can grow?”

If there is any hostility or not being available for this, it’s time to question if this is a healthy relationship for you.

He’s name calling of any sort or demands that you should be serving him

This is a sign of control and passively taking action to make you feel insignificant and lose control of your confidence. This is a power dynamic and unconscious or conscious manipulation.

Any of this is a massive sign to leave, there is no excuse for this type of behavior, and it is not your job as a woman to teach a man how to act like a decent human being.

He’s always blaming you and never taking accountability

Always blaming you and never taking responsibility for co-creating disagreements, arguments, and differences in perspective shows he believes that he is a victim of life. Disempowered that he was part of the co-creation of everything that is emotionally or financially occurring within your lives together.

You are not his mother or teacher to guide him to heal; you are responsible for moving on and creating a life you love—to attract what you truly deserve.

Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD

Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios

Certified Psychiatrist, TheMindFool

A weak man can’t make his lady feel secure because he himself is emotionally vulnerable

Women always want to date and marry a strong man because they possess certain innate qualities to make them feel emotionally secure and happy. But what about those weak men out there who want to have a strong-willed girlfriend or wife living with them?

Though sounding weird, it’s true. There are many men around us who are emotionally insecure, anxious, with poor self-esteem, and always need strong women to validate their worth. A weak man in a relationship is usually avoidant.

Related: How to Improve Your Self-Esteem – The Ultimate Guide

He never takes the onus of anything going wrong in the relationship. He avoids hard conversations and avoids taking vital decisions for the benefit of both in the relationship. He can never make his wife and girlfriend feel secure because he is needy and uncomfortable in his own skin.

Signs of a weak man in a relationship are:

  • A weak man cannot make his lady feel protective and secure because he himself is emotionally vulnerable.
  • He is a bad decision-maker.
  • He is a people pleaser, not only with his girlfriend or wife but with everyone; parents, colleagues, superiors, etc.
  • He avoids conflicts and disagreements at all costs. Even a friendly verbal debate with a friend or his partner may make him anxious and uncomfortable.
  • A weak man is usually a dumpee by his ex. Thus he is always fearful of being rejected by his partner. He tries his best to prove his good side in front of his partner, even if it is not needed.
  • He never complains about anything in the relationship because he has innate fears of being rejected or abandoned by his partner.
  • He is clingy and needy of love and validation. He always wants his wife or girlfriend to say that he is good enough; otherwise, he feels extremely insecure about the relationship.
  • He is not there for his girlfriend whenever she needs him, maybe in a life crisis. He can never make her feel comfortable during distress.
  • He never gets angry.
  • Weak men always want someone to look after them always, emotionally.
  • He never takes responsibility for anything in the relationship because he avoids getting into odd situations.
  • He is a selective listener and chooses not to hear any serious discussions from his partner because he fears serious topics.
  • A weak man always wants his girlfriend or wife to make all the plans because he is not confident in his abilities.
  • He is self-centered. He can go to any length to safeguard his interests.
  • A weal man leaves his girlfriend into trouble and wants her to deal with it all alone.
  • He never defends her in tricky and false situations.

Uwa K. Jesuorobo

Uwa Jesuorobo

Certified Matchmaker | Founder & CEO, Od’u’ware Matchmaking

A weak man is someone that you have to carry through life. Rather than an equal relationship, you mostly do all the work while he’s just along for the ride. You want a partner, not a man-child. So here are my top 5x signs you are involved with a weak man:

He’s turned you into a nag

You’ve turned into “that” person, that nagging girlfriend you swore you would never become. You can’t remember exactly how and when this change occurred, but you know it centers around “him.”

You never were a nag before, but since you started dating him, you find yourself nagging more and more, and you can’t seem to help yourself. You’re constantly asking him to do things or remind him of what he has to do, and then you have to hold his hand to make sure it actually gets done.

If you’re starting to feel like the parent in your relationship, it’s time to get out!

You clean up after him

He leaves his clothes lying around or has dirty dishes laying around, but it’s not as simple as that.

You find yourself cleaning up after him in more ways than one. If he has unpaid bills or has to have difficult conversations with people, he tends to drop the ball and pass the buck off to you. You end up doing his dirty work.

He suffers from “arrested development”

When he hangs out with his friends, it’s like he’s back in high school. He still wants to party and live the frat boy lifestyle. The nicest way to put it is, he never quite grew up.

How can you expect to build a life with someone who doesn’t know when enough is enough?

He’s missing a backbone

Whether it’s his friends who are saying negative things about you or some random stranger, it doesn’t matter because he won’t or can’t stand up for you.

I am sure you’re able to take care of yourself, but this is the man you have chosen to be your life partner, and there are certain expectations you have of your partner. They’re supposed to be your support system.

A weak man will overlook it because he does not want to get involved. He may even join others and tease you—that isn’t a real man at all.

You make all the plans

You seem to always find yourself in the driver’s seat. He doesn’t seem to ever want to take the lead. You always seem to be the one who plans everything. They don’t want to be a leader; they want to be a follower and be taken care of.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is it important to recognize these signs?

It’s important to recognize signs of weakness in order to address problems before they become too serious and affect the dynamics of the relationship. A strong and healthy relationship requires that both parties feel secure and confident in their abilities and are able to stand up to each other to promote positive growth within the union.

What can I do if I suspect my partner is showing signs of weakness in the relationship?

Here are some tips on how to address and resolve a possible problem with your partner:

• Open a non-judgmental and compassionate conversation about your concerns using “I” statements to express how their behavior makes you feel.

• Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings about the issue and listen actively without interrupting or dismissing their perspective.

• Try to come up with solutions and compromises that prioritize both partners’ needs and values.

• Seek outside support, such as couples therapy or individual counseling, to clarify deeper issues or patterns in the relationship.

• Be patient and understanding because change doesn’t happen overnight and requires constant effort and communication.

Can a weak man become stronger in a relationship?

Absolutely! It’s important to remember that people are capable of growth and change, even in relationships. However, both partners need to make an effort and commitment to create a healthier dynamic. Here are some ways a weak man in a relationship can become stronger:

Practice your communication skills: This includes actively listening, expressing feelings and needs clearly and respectfully, and being open to feedback.

Build self-esteem: Activities that boost self-confidence and self-worth, such as sports or hobbies, can help a person become more sure of himself or herself.
Take responsibility for your actions: Admitting mistakes and taking steps to make amends can help restore trust and respect in the relationship.

Practice empathy and compassion: Practicing empathy and considering the impact of your actions on others can help build a stronger connection and understanding in the relationship.

Seek therapy or counseling: Working with a mental health professional can help identify underlying issues or patterns that may be contributing to the weak behavior in the relationship and provide tools for growth and change.

How can I support my partner in becoming stronger in the relationship?

If you’re in a relationship with a partner who is showing signs of weakness, it can be difficult to deal with. Here are some tips on how you can support your partner’s growth and strength:

Communicate with compassion and empathy: Expressing your concerns and feelings in a non-judgmental and caring way can create a safe space for your partner to open up and share their own experiences.

Encourage self-reflection and growth: Ask your partner open-ended questions that allow them to reflect on their behavior and patterns in the relationship and support them in taking steps toward growth and change.

Focus on the positive: Recognize and appreciate your partner’s strengths and growth efforts rather than focusing only on their weaknesses or flaws.

Create a supportive environment: Encourage open communication, mutual respect, and compromise in the relationship, and prioritize each other’s needs and values.

Seek support for yourself: If you’re having difficulty navigating the relationship or supporting your partner’s development, seek support from a therapist, counselor, or trusted friend or family member.

Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with a partner who is still working on becoming stronger?

Yes, it’s possible to have a healthy relationship with a partner who is still working on becoming stronger. In fact, many relationships can benefit from growth and change in both partners. Here are some tips on how you can maintain a healthy relationship while your partner is working on getting stronger:

• Communicate openly and respectfully about your needs and concerns, and be open to listening to your partner’s perspective as well.

• Practice patience and understanding, as change can take time and effort.

• Celebrate and acknowledge your partner’s efforts to grow and change, and encourage them to continue to make progress.

• Prioritize self-care and seek support, such as therapy or counseling, to ensure you’re also taking care of yourself in the relationship.

• Maintain a sense of independence and self-sufficiency, and prioritize your own hobbies and interests outside the relationship.

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