It is often said that women mature faster than men. However, each person is different, and their levels of immaturity will vary.
Sometimes, we may find ourselves being in the company of someone who has not grown past their immaturity yet, even though they are already an adult.
According to experts, the signs of immaturity in a woman can include:
Table of Contents
- Sign #1: Social media is equal to self worth
- Sign #2: Egocentrism is a sure sign of immaturity
- Sign #3: Chaos is a lifestyle
- Sign #4: She is not taking responsibility
- Sign #5: She is an attention seeker
- Sign #6: She does not admit wrongdoings
- Sign #7: She can’t accept the opinions or feedback of other people
- Sign #8: She can’t own up to her mistakes
- Sign #9: She makes it all about her
- Sign #10: Judging others, gossiping behind other’s backs, and lacking empathy toward others
- Sign #11: Immature women are reactive instead of responsive
- Sign #12: An immature woman has zero communication skills
- Sign #13: She nags about everything
- Sign #14: She doesn’t hold herself accountable for the choices that she makes
- Sign #15: She is unserious
- Sign #16: She never apologizes
- Sign #17: She runs her mouth
- Sign #18: She’s vengeful
- Sign #19: She has tantrums
- Sign #20: She is not capable of taking responsibility
- Sign #21: She is full of constant resentment
- Sign #22: She cannot cover for her needs
- Sign #23: She is constantly manipulating
- Sign #24: She has a constant need to take
- Sign #25: She mirrors victimized and aggressive behavior
- Sign #26: She is all talk
- Sign #27: She is unable or unwilling to be vulnerable
- Sign #28: She turns your bad feelings into a fault
Tara Dixon, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor | Owner, Heal Your Life Counseling, LLC
Are you dealing with a girl or a woman? The term maturity often only elicits thoughts of physical maturation. However, there are many types of maturity including emotional, social, mental, and spiritual. Dealing with immaturity can be exhausting!
So how do you tell the difference between an immature girl and a mature woman? Here are a few of the red flags to look out for:
Sign #1: Social media is equal to self worth
Do you know someone who measures their success by their number of likes or shares? Or someone who posts incessantly in search of compliments or pats on the back? These habits may be signs of emotional immaturity.
Everyone loves validation, but seeking out constant feedback is indicative of an individual not being mature enough to provide their own self-worth. Mature individuals create their own self-worth, removing the need to “prove” their happiness/success/love on the social media platform.
Sign #2: Egocentrism is a sure sign of immaturity
Egocentrism is the belief that one’s needs and wants come before the needs and wants of those around them. For example, when your partner asks for space or independence, their request is not an attack on you, but a desire to fulfill needs that are important to them.
Individuals who are uncomfortable with others having needs and wants outside of their relationship are struggling with emotional immaturity.
Sign #3: Chaos is a lifestyle
Have you noticed that some people live in a constant state of chaos or experience a multitude of unfortunate events? A “poor me” narrative can sometimes lead to self-fulling prophecies of further chaos. This kind of mindset is often used to distract a person from taking accountability for their piece in the story.
A chaotic lifestyle is difficult to break out of. Once a person views themselves as a victim, a cycle of helplessness can keep them in a vicious cycle. In some cases, a person secretly enjoys this type of lifestyle.
In my therapy practice, I encounter many immature women. The good news is that people can and do change. Those who begin to take responsibility, own their mistakes, set healthy boundaries, and are honest with themselves can see results almost immediately!
Jennifer L. Bennett
Sign #4: She is not taking responsibility
It may very well be a long, troublesome cycle, however figuring out how to assume responsibility for your activities is a significant part of developing and maturing. Women tend to overlook responsibility when a man takes charge of things, some women don’t wanna take the initiative.
Sign #5: She is an attention seeker
There’s a distinction between appreciating the spotlight and continually waiting to be the focal point of attention — regardless of whether it’s to the lowering of others.
Some women always want to be the focal light of any situation even if it is not even related to them. Creating an attention-seeking image makes you vulnerable in others’ eyes.
Sign #6: She does not admit wrongdoings
Develop grown-ups aren’t hesitant to concede when they’re off-base or even wrong; immature grown-ups will stand firm in any event when all the proof is against them.
Mistakes are part of seeking your success and some people do not understand that. An honest adult towards his or her mistakes goes a long way in life.
Dating Expert, Dating Scout
Sign #7: She can’t accept the opinions or feedback of other people
Ever interacted with a woman who thinks she knows everything there is to know? Did she dismiss your opinions saying that your opinion is not valid or her “way” is better?
If yes, that is a huge sign of immaturity in a woman. These kinds of women have not grown emotionally and mentally to accept that people have their own opinions and hers is not necessarily better.
These women are way too invested in themselves. They put themselves on a pedestal. Mature women know how to listen and grow from people’s feedback.
Sign #8: She can’t own up to her mistakes
You will know that she has a lot of things to work upon herself if she is having difficulty owning up to her mistakes and taking responsibility. This could be problematic especially if you need to work with her but it would even be more difficult if you are in a relationship with her.
Sign #9: She makes it all about her
She does not acknowledge your feelings, opinions, and thoughts. Whenever something comes up, she makes it all about her—how she’s affected by it, what she thinks should be done, why it has this impact on her.
If she does not take the time to hear you out and instead rambles on about her all the time, it is a clear sign that she is immature and has a lot of growing up to do.
Me, me, me is not a good mindset to have in any relationship. A mature person takes the time to see your perspective, amplifies your voice, while also voicing out their own side and creating a compromise together.
Jessica Lynn Day
Certified Professional Coach | Owner & Head Coach, Jessica Lynn Coaching, LLC
Sign #10: Judging others, gossiping behind other’s backs, and lacking empathy toward others
The pressures to know it all and be it all are overwhelming as a woman. From a young age, we’re coerced into believing we have to fit into society’s mold of nice enough, fit enough, smart enough, mom worthy, and the list goes on.
This pressure often leads to a lack of clarity on who we truly are and what lights us up. We lose sight of our passions and unique strengths. We’re so exhausted from trying to be what we think we’re supposed to be that our authentic selves get thrown out the window.
We’re trying to keep up with the ever-changing landscape of what it means to be a “perfect” woman that we’re too distracted to stop and listen to our intuition poking us right in the face.
The result? Insecurity. I should say, insecurities because let’s face it when we don’t feel worthy, the list of insecurities can run for miles.
Insecurities affect women differently but for many, immaturity is a direct symptom.
Judging others, gossiping behind their backs, and lacking empathy toward others, are all examples of immature behavior that can result from these insecurities.
Related: 10+ Signs of Insecurity in a Woman
For example, if a woman grows up believing that she is not smart enough to be successful in business, she may find ways to gossip about women who have found success. She may even seek out ways to pull attention away from those women.
This immature behavior is simply all she knows to get her voice heard because she feels lost and unsure of who she is or how to make authentic, real connections. She hasn’t recognized her true, unique powers.
Immature women come from a place of feeling like they have to defend themselves, put on a show and, be what they think others want them to be.
Because that doesn’t feel right or aligned with their core values, they’re constantly trying to “one-up” the other women and “show her” they’re better.
To relieve herself of this immature behavior, she must get to the core of her insecurities and discover what limiting beliefs have been holding her back from confidently expressing herself authentically.
Once she is able to identify what her strengths are, she will no longer feel the need to engage in immature behavior like gossip or bringing others down.
Certified Professional Coach
Sign #11: Immature women are reactive instead of responsive
None of us are perfect so when our imperfections materialize in a mistake, our response is a good indicator of our maturity. Of course, it hurts to be criticized and nobody likes making a mistake. An immature woman immediately shoots off an email full of emotion, accusations, and hurt. A mature response is measured, thoughtful, and generally takes a little longer than an immature reaction.
To act in a mature manner, first, make a commitment not to respond immediately. Take time to think through the situation and assess where you could have done better, communicated differently, prepared better. Take a look at the situation from the other person’s perspective and remember that most of the time, while criticism feels personal, it often isn’t.
Craft a response that recognizes first that the other person has suffered a setback, correct the error if you can, and share what you will be doing to ensure a better output in the future.
Finally, thank the other person for letting you know about the mishap. Maturity teaches us that we learn more through our failures than by always being successful.
PR Manager, My Speech Class
An immature woman is someone who hasn’t evolved in every area of her life and immaturity after a certain age cannot be overlooked because it is glaring for all to see.
Most women think maturity comes with age but unfortunately, age is just a number and it isn’t a measurement of maturity. Your character is questioned whenever you behave in childish ways to people in public and also in private.
Look out for these signs in a woman if you want to know if she’s immature.
Sign #12: An immature woman has zero communication skills
This is the most annoying sign of all. An immature woman has zero communication skills. She never takes responsibility for her mistakes and actions; there’s always someone to blame. She’d rather keep malice with you than talk about her feelings and when you reach out to talk to her, she ignores you or causes a scene.
Sign #13: She nags about everything
If she nags about any and everything, then she’s 100% immature. Does she also play the blame game when called out for doing something wrong? If yes, then this is a sign.
Sign #14: She doesn’t hold herself accountable for the choices that she makes
She doesn’t hold herself accountable for the choices that she makes in her personal life and career. She always finds a way to shift the blame to someone else.
Sign #15: She is unserious
She never takes things seriously; everything is a joke to her. You can’t trust her because she doesn’t keep to her words and promises. You’re practically walking on egg shells around her.
Sign #16: She never apologizes
She’s always right, and every other person is wrong. She rarely apologizes when she has offended you but she expects you to apologize for what she did.
Sign #17: She runs her mouth
Is she fond of telling people’s secrets to strangers and anyone who’s willing to listen to what she has to say? She has tea on everyone she comes in contact with and won’t hesitate to spill it at the slightest provocation. You’re better off not telling her anything that concerns you.
Sign #18: She’s vengeful
If you annoy her or do something to piss her off, she’ll make sure she goes to any length to make your life a living hell even if it means lying against you. Once she’s made up her mind to get back at you for what you did to her, there’s nothing you can do about it.
Sign #19: She has tantrums
When things don’t go her way, she throws tantrums like a five-year-old. Shouting unnecessarily, cursing you out, crying, throwing things at you, etc., are all signs of immaturity in a woman.
Certified Life Transformation Coach, Online Divorce
Growing up is a natural process of personality formation. Unfortunately, many people grow up and still remain a child inside. These are those who are called immature individuals.
Sign #20: She is not capable of taking responsibility
A simple example: a girl works in a low-paid job and all the time complains that she does not have enough money. A mature person would act in this situation as follows: they would get additional knowledge, develop professional skills to go for a promotion, or find a more prestigious job.
An immature personality in such a situation will not try to improve their lives, instead, they will blame anyone for this: the boss, parents, the government, and soon.
Sign #21: She is full of constant resentment
Another factor is constant resentment. You did not answer her call, did not call back – an immature person will be offended because this is exactly what children do. If a girl requires constant care, this also speaks of her immaturity.
Sign #22: She cannot cover for her needs
Adults should be able to cover their needs on their own. If she cannot go to the store herself (provided that she does not have a disability), complains that she is lonely all the time, requires constant moral support, wants everyone to put themselves in her shoes – be sure, you face an immature personality.
Sign #23: She is constantly manipulating
Another signal of unhealthy behavior is that she never speaks directly about her wishes, but instead is constantly manipulating. At the same time, without getting what she wants, she will easily become aggressive. An immature person never asks for forgiveness, since they do not know how to admit mistakes.
Author of Expansion Method
Immaturity doesn’t have a gender difference, it’s also neither good nor bad. Frankly, about 99% of people exhibit immaturity in one area of life or the other, and that’s totally okay.
It’s an adopted behavioural pattern, that can live in a family for generations. People learn behaviour from their closest surrounding, friends and family, more so family though. Certain patterns are actually in the DNA. And every pattern helped previous generation survive.
We tend to believe, that survival of the fittest is what drives evolution, but no one describes fittest. And a lot of the time the ones survive, who can hide better, who can deceive and persuade.
Sign #24: She has a constant need to take
Now when it comes to immaturity, one of the main traits, that point to immaturity is the inability to “give back”, or “accept”, but constant need to “take”. It stems again from the survival mechanism, that we learn as children.
For example a woman, who expects a man to financially support her, without the responsibility for her own skills of making money. It doesn’t mean, that being a housewife for example is immature, but if she “demands” (take) from her husband to support her, that’s like a cry baby, that wants her toys in the store.
Immaturity is also a shadow of self worth. And Self worth comes from the relationship with mother and father, irrelevant of wether one of them or both of them were present in the person’s life.
On the other hand, a woman, usually professional, successful in her business or career, who is not able to ask or accept help. Because they are hard workers, they might feel, that asking for help will undermine them. This behavior of “I’ll do it myself” is exhibited in children at an age of about 3-6 years.
Depending on how much freedom a child was given at that age by her parents, she is able to outgrow it then or continue carrying the self-establishing pattern into the older ages.
Sign #25: She mirrors victimized and aggressive behavior
Immaturity is often accompanied by a “victimized” and “aggressive” behavior, sort of like kids deal with parents, they will whine or cry first to get what they want, and if that doesn’t work they might become aggressive, start hitting, throw things and yell.
Again, I want to emphasize, that neither behavior is good or bad. It just exists. It’s a tactic one brings into their life from their childhood. Whichever one worked better. And most of the time, we actually exhibit both. Because as kids we learn to use one on one parent, and the other one on the other parent or a parental figure.
Immaturity also has stages, those are usually childhood ages where we gradually develop skills and behaviour to progress. 0-3 yo, 3-6, 6-12, 12-16, 16-18. These ages are not strict borderlines, but every period is characterized with certain developmental milestones.
I can say, that maturity is by far the hardest thing to acquire in every aspect of our lives, but once we do, everything becomes much more clear and simple, more results with less effort for sure.
Wendy J. Young
In answer to your question, I believe there are several signs of immaturity that cross gender barriers:
Sign #26: She is all talk
The first thing people tend to notice about someone (after their good looks, of course) are the things they say. When trying to impress, people will say just about anything. Your biggest clue to their immaturity will be whether or not they follow through or back up what they say with verifiable action.
Sign #27: She is unable or unwilling to be vulnerable
All successful relationships have a strong backbone of trust. That trust creates undeniable intimacy where two people are free to reveal their innermost thoughts and desires without fear of judgement or mocking. An immature person will not be able (or be willing) to open themselves up completely and show that ultimate trust with their partner.
Sign #28: She turns your bad feelings into a fault
If there’s one person in a relationship constantly accusing their partner of being “too sensitive”… it’s very likely that person is too immature to handle taking responsibility for their actions.
Repeatedly guilt-tripping or refusing to acknowledge poor behavior and blaming the other person is the sign of a narcissistic personality, and you should run far away!
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