Have you ever caught yourself trying to decipher the signs of mutual attraction? Have you been daydreaming about that special person and wondering whether they feel the same way about you too?
Mutual attraction between two people is often hard to read and interpret because sometimes it can be subtle and confusing. Fortunately, there are common signals that people often send out when they feel a connection with somebody else.
So whether you’re curious about a crush or just looking for more clarity in existing connections, experts say here are signs of mutual attraction:
Nancy Ryan, LMFT
Certified Gottman Therapist | CEO, Relationship Therapy Center
Before delving into what the signs are, it’s worth noting that when it comes to deciphering and interpreting them, there’s both a level of bias and a considerable grey area. In this case, the bias is yours.
People are more inclined to read favorably into behavior traits from their crush. Decoding and believing them to be a “signal” that the person who makes them blush and gets their heart rate going feels the same about them. The grey area involves the traits of your crush.
Related: 7 Physiological Signs of a Crush
If someone is generally in a good mood, they may act warm and friendly towards you.
Additionally, those with excellent social skills and interpersonal skills may model some of the behaviors which demonstrate a high level of attentiveness and presence — merely because they’re being polite.
Thus, it can be tricky — short of them explicitly telling you they are attracted to you — to apply a formula and deduce with any real guarantee that they find you as irresistible as you find them.
However, there are signs that do point toward mutual attraction. They are:
You have mirroring gestures
Are their feet pointed toward yours? Have they shifted so that their belly button is aimed toward yours? Do you shift your body posture and then notice they do the same?
When it comes to how we feel, our body language shares more than we are usually aware of.
If we like someone and want to gain their favor, feet and belly buttons point toward the person. We tend to mimic their gestures as well subtly; our bodies are relaxed and open when they are around.
You tease one another
If someone lightly pokes fun at you — or themselves in order to make you laugh — it shows they enjoy you. After all, teasing is a powerful way of flirting.
To be clear: this does not include anything that hurts, disrespects, or makes you feel uncomfortable.
Frequent conversation and laughter are good indications of mutual attraction
Do conversations with them involve a lot of laughing? Did you crack a joke that your dad would have rolled his eyes at, and even you were surprised when the punchline was met with peals of laughter?
Frequent laughter and smiling when you’re together are good indications of mutual attraction.
Lingering eye contact
Lingering eye contact or eye contact that lasts longer than usual indicates attraction. Additionally, if they gaze at you (you may not notice if you’re doing something else — but perhaps other people in the room see and mention it), this can also show that they’re interested.
You feel good after interacting with them
If your mood gets an instant boost after an interaction with them, and you can’t help but chuckle at some of the things that happened, it could mean that they feel similarly about you and are uplifted after being in your presence too.
You only have eyes for each other
In a group environment, you focus on one another more than anyone else. In fact, sometimes it feels as though only the two of you exist.
If, when telling a story to a handful of people, they predominantly maintain eye contact with you and, after uttering something witty, glance quickly at you to gauge your reaction.
The more frequently the expressions and glances (both micro and the more obvious ones) are directed toward one another, the more likely the mutual attraction.
They treat you differently
If you’re part of the same group of, say, coworkers, and they treat you differently — bringing you coffee, coming in to check on you — chances are they enjoy you, which is why they find time in their day to spend with you.
You’re both interested
If you love sharing with them because they listen, and you enjoy listening to the things they discuss as well, these — especially when the conversation moves beyond superficial pleasantries — are positive indications of mutual attraction.
They take an interest in your life
Do they remember how you take your coffee? Remember things you told them — an event you were going to or something you were worried about — and ask you how it went?
When people take an interest in your life, it’s a good sign there could be an attraction.
Subconscious indicators aren’t always at the forefront of our minds. We’re not always aware of the subtleties of pheromones or other traits and characteristics that we subconsciously find attractive beyond just plain old good looks. However, these play a huge role in attraction.
They say you remind them of someone
Telling you that you remind them of someone, especially if that someone is an attractive celeb or person whom they have a positive association with, is a signal that they enjoy you and the qualities you possess.
To be clear, mutual attraction does not always equal a good and healthy relationship. As humans, our brains are wired to “light up” over certain traits and characteristics born of familiarity — and other components that cue sexual chemistry — which doesn’t always stem from healthy places.
However, there’s no harm in using some of the work found in behavioral science. It can be a fun and exhilarating process, discovering if someone you’re attracted to feels the same about you.
Ellie Borden, BA, RP, CPP
CEO, Clinical Director, and Clinical Supervisor/Supervising Psychotherapist (CRPO), Mind by Design
Both of your body languages indicate interest
When the attraction between two people is mutual, one sign that demonstrates this is body language.
Typically, when attraction occurs, you will mimic that person’s body language, and they will do the same. It can be quite subtle, but if you notice some similar patterns, it could be a sign that attraction is there.
Additionally, both of your body languages will indicate interest. Some examples may include turning or facing each other, attempting to make physical contact, moving closer, and making prolonged eye contact.
It is also common that you and your date/partner will smile often and drift their attention toward the other when in a public place.
You want to talk to each other all the time
When there is a mutual attraction, you may also notice how well the conversation is flowing. This is because when attraction occurs, you or your date/partner will be intently focused and listening to what you have to say, and they will remember it.
You will also likely have no issues with coming up with things to talk about, and you will want to talk to each other all the time.
You and your date/partner will also have a great interest in your conversation, and this will be shown through asking many questions and trying to relate to what the other is saying.
You will also pay much closer attention to detail in the conversation and about general aspects of the other person.
You feel nervous and anxious in their presence
It is common when there is a mutual attraction for some level of anxiety or nervousness. This is because your relationship is new or a date is a new experience, and there may be some tension and excitement about where the relationship or date is going.
Some examples of this may be awkward glances at each other or pauses in the conversation, blushing and flirting, and maybe some level of fidgeting.
These are normal when feeling attracted to someone and can be a strong indicator that someone is attracted to you. You may also feel nervous or slightly anxious in their presence and feel drawn toward each other.
CEO and Matchmaker, Exclusive Matchmaking
When it comes to signs of mutual attraction, there are several.
As a matchmaker and relationship expert, I will tell you when people say, “you know when you know,” or you just look across the room and lock eyes, and then that is it, it’s based on mutual attraction and body language.
You are probably unaware of it at the time and just think of it as something that happened like fate. This is the thing that makes people run off into the sunset and take the plunge.
I might add, though, that just because there is mutual attraction, it doesn’t mean you’ve met that one just because you experience this rush.
Read on for signs of mutual attraction:
You’re blushing whenever they are around
That’s a clear sign. Some of the most professional people in an office setting will give it away by turning red. It’s kind of embarrassing to be that person because it’s hard to hide your interest.
If they are interested, too, they will find it adorable and hang around more than what would be normal, making you turn red all the more and making the signs of mutual attraction not so difficult to miss.
Your hips turned towards one another when standing
Most miss this obvious sign. It’s a good trick to know when reading a room at a cocktail party. You always know who is excited about whatever topic of conversation.
If you are interested in someone, and you both are in this stance, you know there is a mutual interest, and they are hanging on to your every word.
You both just can’t get enough of each other
Hanging on to every word otherwise is a sign of mutual attraction whether or not you are standing. You both just can’t get enough of each other, and everything you say is so clever, and everything they say to you is just so interesting. It’s a sure sign.
You are clumsy and befuddled when around each other
One of them drops something, and they both clumsily bump into each other, trying to pick it up while both are completely unaware of anyone else in the room. There is definitely mutual interest, and the world around them seems to stop.
You’re engaged in a conversation while unaware of anything around them
Two people engaged in conversation while blissfully unaware of anyone or anything else around them are definitely mutually attracted to each other. They maintain direct eye contact, touch each other frequently, and laugh at each other’s jokes. They are definitely showing signs of mutual attraction.
The flirting doesn’t stop
Flirting and tossing of the hair while the other can’t stop staring or even catching glances and looking away.
I have had clients that I thought were flirting with klutzes only to see them light up when they were attracted to someone that was attracted to them. It’s a can’t-miss when two people are so drawn to each other they don’t stop flirting.
Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor | Certified Imago Relationship Therapist | Co-founder, The Marriage Restoration Project
You are subconsciously drawn to those who feel very familiar
As per your query regarding signs of mutual attraction, there are many ways one is attracted to their mate.
Although there are conscious ways that we can list, such as physical attraction, personality, and sense of humor, there is usually a “je ne sais quoi,” something deeper that can not be expressed in words. That deeper source of attraction occurs on the subconscious level.
According to Imago therapy, the reason we are attracted to our mates is that they are subconsciously drawn to someone who will be very familiar.
That familiarity that we are attracted to is someone that possesses the positive and negative characteristics of our primary caretakers. Thus, marriage is the unfinished business of childhood, where we seek to find someone to help us “do it over” and get it right this time.
In the romantic stage, we feel that pull toward the person. Once we commit and/or get married, the power struggle ensues, and we begin to get triggered.
It is only when we become conscious of why we are getting triggered that we understand why we “really” fell in love in the first place.
Related: Why Do We Fall in Love with Someone?
As we enter the conscious marriage, we can actually repair childhood and achieve the purpose of marriage, which is for growth and healing. So while you may think you know what attracted you to your mate, there is usually something deeper that is pulling you in.
Related: 80+ Signs You’re Ready for Marriage
Katina Tarver, MA
Life and Relationship Coach, ThePleasantRelationship
You both love spending time with each other
They walk you to your office, take a stroll with you and your pet in the garden, and ensure to spend time with you is nothing but a sign of mutual attraction.
Besides, you love their company too, so you have deep conversations, and it is engaging simultaneously. “Boredom” is just out of your dictionary when you both are together.
You both listen to each other
Talking to them is not scary anymore because you both know you are being heard. Your views are valued, and there are no abrupt interruptions between conversations.
Besides, there is no hunch about how to initiate a conversation because it is smooth and free. Most importantly, you both never run out of topics, which is why there are endless talks and deep conversations.
You miss each other’s company
You start missing them when they aren’t around, and it is nothing but mutual attraction. When they text or call you, you feel overjoyed by their gesture.
You both cannot get out of each other’s heads. On top of that, if you ask them, “I am sure that you miss me,” and they look nervous about getting caught, there’s undoubtedly some mutual attraction.
Your voice tone changes when you are with them
When you both like each other genuinely, your voice tone changes. It happens because you both want to attract each other’s attention. Then it could be deepening the voice or speaking in a high tone.
Whatever it might be, you both want to recognize each other among people.
You both dress up nicely for each other
If someone likes you wholeheartedly, they doll up to impress you. If not bedecked, they will definitely groom their appearance to catch your attention.
Besides, if they are not fashion freaks but doing it for the sake of your attention, then these are clear signs of mutual attraction.
Aditya Kashyap Mishra
Co-Founder and Relationship Expert, MoodFresher
When it comes to romantic relationships, the signs of mutual attraction can be subtle, but they’re definitely there. If you’re wondering if your crush or partner feels the same way about you, look out for these telltale signs.
They make eye contact
One of the clearest signs of mutual attraction is when someone can’t help but look at you. When you catch them staring, they might quickly look away, but their eyes will almost always find their way back to you.
If you find yourself in a room full of people and your crush or partner is the only one you can focus on, it’s a pretty good indication that the feeling is mutual.
When two people are attracted to each other, they often can’t help but make eye contact. This is because they are unconsciously trying to send each other nonverbal cues that they are interested in.
Some of the most common cues include pupil dilation, increased blink rate, and looking away quickly when they catch each other’s eye. This is a sign that they are interested in what you have to say and are attracted to you on a physical and/or emotional level.
If you find yourself attracted to someone, see if they return your gaze and hold it for a beat longer than normal. This could be a sign that they feel the same way about you.
They smile at you
It’s no secret that one of the most common signs of mutual attraction is when someone smiles at you. But why is that?
Well, smiling is a way of sending a positive signal to someone that you’re interested in them. It’s a way of saying “hello” without actually having to say anything.
Smiling also makes you look more approachable and friendly, which can be helpful if you’re trying to attract someone new.
So if you’re wondering if someone is attracted to you, one of the first things to look for is whether they’re smiling at you. If they are, it’s a good sign that they’re interested in you too.
A genuine smile is hard to fake, so if your crush or partner is constantly smiling at you, it’s a good sign that they’re attracted to you. Pay attention to the type of smile they give you too.
A shy or nervous smile might mean they’re attracted to you, but they’re not sure how to act on it. A big, bright smile, on the other hand, is a clear sign of excitement and happiness at the prospect of being around you.
When you smile at someone, and they smile back, it’s a sign of mutual attraction. Smiling is a nonverbal way of saying, “I like you,” “I’m comfortable with you,” and “I’m happy to see you.”
Related: How to Tell Someone You Like Them
When we smile at someone, we convey confidence, approachability, and openness. All of these are attractive qualities that can lead to mutual attraction.
They find ways to touch you
Another sign of mutual attraction is when someone can’t help but find excuses to touch you. They might brush your arm while they’re talking to you or rest their hand on your shoulder.
If they’re constantly finding ways to connect with you physically, it’s a good sign that they’re attracted to you. This could be anything from a gentle touch on the arm to a playful tap on the shoulder, but it’s all about making physical contact in a way that is comfortable and intimate.
If someone is constantly finding ways to touch you, it’s a sure sign that they are attracted to you and feel a strong connection.
They lean in when they talk to you
When someone is interested in you, they’ll usually lean in when they’re talking to you. This is a subtle but effective way of showing that they’re invested in the conversation and want to be closer to you.
If you notice someone leaning in when they talk to you, it is a good sign that they are attracted to you.
They make an effort to spend time with you
If your crush or partner is making a conscious effort to spend more time with you, it’s a good sign that they’re attracted to you. They might invite you to hang out with them or include you in plans with their friends.
Related: How to Ask Someone to Hang Out
If they go out of their way to ensure you’re included in their life, it’s a pretty clear sign that they want you to be a part of it.
Senior Editor, Tandem
Though I have been married for quite some time, that doesn’t mean I don’t remember what it was like to be dating. I recall looking to find a person that I connected with. Someone I would enjoy spending time with and who would enjoy doing the same things that I do.
I also remember what it was like to wonder if the person that I liked felt the same way about me that I felt about them. If they did, I would know we had a mutual attraction.
What are some signs of mutual attraction?
You flirt with one another
Sometimes, we flirt with those we are attracted to. But what happens when the flirting goes both ways? You are not only flirting with the other person, but they are throwing flirts back at you. Flirtatious behavior from both parties can be an indicator of attraction.
You talk, text, or email frequently
People have their preferred communication styles. Regardless of the technique most used between the two of you, you communicate daily. In fact, you might be reaching out to one another multiple times throughout the day.
You remember small details
Not only do you talk a lot to each other, but when you tell each other things, you each make a point to remember them. For example, he remembered that your favorite flowers are daisies, or you remembered that he was born in England.
Remembering the details of someone’s life indicates how you feel about one another.
You find reasons to be close together
It could be sitting side-by-side on the couch or holding hands when walking on the sidewalk. It could even be an action as small as wiping fly-away hairs off the other person’s face.
Whatever the gesture, both of you find reasons to get close to one another physically.
You are happy to see each other
How each of your faces lights up when the other person is nearby is a key indicator of mutual attraction. The two of you are both happy to see each other, and it clearly shows.
You miss each other when the other isn’t around
What happens when the two of you are apart or doing something without the other person? If you are both sad because you aren’t with one another, this could be another sign.
Other people comment on the two of you
One of the most telling signs will come from other people. They will have noticed the two of you together and how you both act. Then they tell you what they think.
If it’s noticeable to others, it’s probably true that there is some mutual attraction going on.
You’ve met each other’s parents, family, and friends
Not being embarrassed to introduce each other to the important people in your life is essential. But wanting to introduce each other to these important people shows how much each of you really cares.
Some signs will be very evident, and others might be more subtle. Whatever the signs you are throwing around, good luck with your next venture. Being attracted to someone is good, but knowing there is a mutual attraction is great.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can mutual attraction develop between friends?
Yes, it is possible for mutual attraction to develop between friends. In fact, some of the strongest relationships are based on a foundation of friendship. However, it’s important that you approach the situation with sensitivity and communication.
If you are interested in exploring a romantic connection with a friend, talk openly and honestly about your feelings and be prepared for the dynamics of your friendship to change.
How can I tell the difference between attraction and infatuation?
While attraction and infatuation can feel similar, there are some important differences you should be aware of. Attraction is usually based on physical and emotional attraction, while infatuation is often more focused on physical attraction and the thrill of the chase.
Infatuation can also be more short-lived and intense, while attraction tends to develop more gradually over time. Also, infatuation can often lead to idealization or placing someone on a pedestal, while attraction involves seeing someone for who they really are, with all their flaws.
Can mutual attraction exist between people of different ages, races, or backgrounds?
Yes, mutual attraction can exist between people of different ages, races, or backgrounds. Attraction is often based on a combination of physical, emotional, and intellectual factors that can vary greatly from person to person. It is important to approach potential relationships with an open mind and a willingness to learn and grow together, regardless of perceived differences.
Is it possible for mutual attraction to fade over time?
Yes, it is possible for mutual attraction to diminish over time. While attraction can be a strong motivator for a relationship, it isn’t always enough to sustain a lasting connection. It’s important to continue to nurture your relationship through open communication, shared experiences, and a willingness to adapt and grow together.
Can mutual attraction be a sign of a soulmate or a long-term compatible partner?
While mutual attraction can be a powerful motivator in forming relationships, it isn’t always a sign of a soul mate or a long-term compatible partner. Attraction is only one aspect of a healthy relationship. Emotional connection, shared values and interests, and a willingness to communicate and compromise are also important factors to consider when looking for a lasting relationship.
We are sorry that this post was not useful for you!
Let us improve this post!
Tell us how we can improve this post?