30+ Signs She Doesn’t Love You Anymore

Do you think your partner does not love you as much as they did before? The signs are there, but it might be difficult to spot them.

Below are the following telltale signs that they’re not in love with you anymore:

Rebecca Phillips, MS, LPC

Rebecca Phillips

Licensed Professional Counselor, Mend Modern Therapy

They may not be as open and communicative

Sometimes people begin to sever their connection before finally admitting they’re ready to move on. You may feel your partner pulling away or shutting you out. They may not be as open and communicative.

Sometimes they’re not as affectionate. You may experience a lack of intimacy or desire from your partner.

They become over critical and dismissive

If your partner becomes overly critical or dismissive of you, they may be losing interest. Early relationships often involve infatuation and idolization, so it’s natural to lose some steam as your relationship matures. Love often becomes something deeper and more meaningful.

If you experience hypercriticism and regularly feel dismissed, it makes sense that you would question your partner’s positive regard.

She nitpicks things about you that she once loved

If she nitpicks things about you that she once loved, her feelings may be changing. It’s natural for humans who share the same space for an extended period of time to have behaviors or quirks that irritate one another.

Hopefully, these behaviors are balanced by attributes your partner deems favorable. If you find your partner constantly nitpicking without pointing out your redeemable qualities, you may want to explore what’s going on underneath the criticism.

Related: How to Stop Nitpicking in a Relationship

They are continually comparing you to others and putting you down

If they constantly compare you to others and put you down, there’s your sign. Open communication in a relationship is healthy, but shaming others to make them feel deficient is not.

It’s important our partners support our sense of self, advocate for our improvement, and communicate with us in ways that build us up, not put us down.

Lisa Bahar, MA, LMFT, LPCC

Lisa Bahar

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist | Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor

A decrease in responsiveness or contact. A feeling of emotional distancing, irritability, and an overall dismissive attitude. Preoccupation with a cell phone and a preference to be with her friends versus you. A tendency to be less communicative and annoyed.

Related: Emotional Neglect in Marriage: Signs and What Should You Do

There may be a variety of factors influencing these behaviors, and it could be:

  • Someone else.
  • Breakdown of trust.
  • Some other issue that is not being worked through that she is not expressing.
  • She may disrespect you for not working or being as financially prosperous as you were.
  • She may be preoccupied with someone she hoped you would replace from the past.

Love is not something that stops, it may change the form, but it does not stop. I guess my question back is what does love mean?

  • interest?
  • attraction?
  • or a deep understanding and caring for another’s well-being?

“Love is an experience of having your quality of life enhanced for the greater good by knowing and being with this person. It is an experience of feeling that someone wants you to achieve your personal goals and cares about your overall well-being.”

Lisa Bahar, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Love is not lust, attachment, obsession, and desire because these experiences are based on fear, anger, and jealousy.

Therefore, when someone professes that they do not love you anymore or that you are questioning whether they do, consider whether it was love in the first place or if the love has changed form to deep caring.

Caring can mean that they let you go because it is in the best interest of both your emotional and mental well-being. The key takeaway is that love endures and never ends, it is spiritual, and it remains despite whether you are together physically or not.

Eduard Andrei Vasile

Eduard Andrei Vasile

Personal Development Counselor | Founder, Born and Reborn

Most relationships are wonderful at first. However, they must be maintained exactly like a plant. A plant needs to be watered daily, and a relationship needs nice words, a lot of tact, and diplomacy. That’s what I say to all the clients who come in with relationship problems.

Of course, not all relationships last, and even love can disappear at some point.

Wondering if your partner doesn’t love you anymore? Here are some signs we don’t often think about, but we should take them into account:

She is very late at home

We do not immediately assume that she is deceiving us, although this is our first thought. She just doesn’t feel comfortable spending time with you anymore. After all, you can’t force anyone to act against their will.

Affection and intimacy are gone

There are two key aspects to any relationship. Everything turns into monotony, and sex becomes mechanical. Do you remember the beautiful words from the past?

Well, if they no longer exist or are becoming rarer, you should think that the relationship is on the verge of extinction.

She gets angry very often

Unhappiness causes a lot of inner frustration, frustration that not everyone manifests in the same way. For this reason and perhaps out of a desire not to hurt yourself, your partner will burst for all sorts of small reasons.

She often forgets significant events

Your partner forgets important moments such as the anniversary of your relationship or your birthday. It is indeed a sad time, but she will try to detach herself from the relationship, and this forgetfulness will come with the lost feelings.

She is not excited about future plans

I’m sure you’ll want to plan your next vacation, but your partner won’t be too excited. Something is going on.

The end is not the end, however. I recommend couple counseling to those who want to fight. Remember, you both have to fight, not just one of you. Feelings can rekindle, maybe harder, but once you communicate authentically, things will settle down.

Related: How to Fix a Broken Relationship

Rori Sassoon

Rori Sassoon

Relationship Expert | Co-Owner, Platinum Poire

She doesn’t say “I love you” anymore

Let’s be real here—if she no longer says those eight letters, your partner is making a very loud statement. When you do not affirm your love for each other, your relationship foundation will come crumbling down.

She no longer touches you or wants to get intimate with you

Physical chemistry and touch are important pieces to a healthy, sustainable relationship. Sex is another form of communication. If she’s swerving the bedroom, then you need to reconsider if she’s truly invested in you.

She forgets the big and little things

Let’s say a job promotion or review comes up. If she has little interest in your daily life, she is disengaged from the relationship altogether.

A truly loving, committed partner will be by your side through life’s highs and lows.

Your intuition tells you it’s not a phase

There is no need to sugarcoat your feelings. Sometimes your gut is your biggest advocate in determining where your relationship is headed. We all go through hiccups in our lives, whether financially, emotionally, psychologically, etc.

However, when you know she is not merely “distracted” but diverting her efforts elsewhere, it may be time to say goodbye.

Cindy Walker

Cindy Walker

CEO, Moms Coupon Affair

If a woman is not in love with you anymore, she can start to withdraw from you without even realizing it. She may stop worrying about making time for you and the relationship. She may lose interest in sex or begin to find other men more attractive.

She may be less affectionate with you, even if she doesn’t realize that it’s happening or why. She may feel that she can’t trust you anymore or that your feelings for her have changed.

You may be surprised at how easy it is to overlook the signs of a woman who doesn’t love you anymore because they are so subtle. But if you pay attention, some tell-tale signs aren’t difficult to notice.

She doesn’t trust you as much as you trust her

Trust is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, especially between a man and a woman. When a woman loses trust in her man, she will pull away from him emotionally.

She won’t spend as much time with him or let him into her life as much as she used to. She will start to question things that he does and wonder what his motives are for doing them.

If she’s always accusing you of being unfaithful, then it may be time to call it quits. Most of us have trust issues from time to time, but if they start to impact your relationship negatively, then it’s time to move on. She should trust you as much as you trust her.

When she becomes more distant

A woman who loves you wants to talk about her day with you. She wants to share her thoughts and emotions with you, and she wants your feedback on what she’s talking about.

When women stop sharing things with their partners and become more distant, it means they are no longer interested in being intimate with them.

If she starts making excuses not to be with you or goes out of her way to avoid being intimate with you, then something is wrong. This may signify that she is unhappy with the relationship but can’t bear to break up with you.

Emotional distancing is the major sign that a woman loses interest in you. If a woman stops wanting to be emotionally intimate with you, all the love and romance in the world will not win her back.

If she doesn’t want to talk about her feelings, dreams, or hopes with you, it means she’s already moved on emotionally and is not going to come back.

She no longer accepts you as you are and criticizes every little thing about you

It’s normal for couples to bicker and disagree. Still, when a woman suddenly starts criticizing everything you do, it might be because she doesn’t love you anymore and is trying to end the relationship.

This is her way of telling you that she does not love you anymore. She will complain about the clothes you wear, the food you cook for her and even your friends.

If she criticizes everything about you, she is trying to make sure that she gets to move on with her life without having to be with a person she does not love anymore.

If she no longer accepts you as you are and criticizes every little thing about you, then this is a sure sign that she doesn’t love you anymore.

She doesn’t want to spend time with you anymore

If she used to want to spend all of her time with you, now she’s constantly busy. Maybe she has work or study commitments keeping her busy. That could be the case.

But if she never seems to have time for you anymore, that could signify that she doesn’t love you anymore.

She doesn’t want to talk to you anymore

Women have a way of keeping things bottled up inside them. It is easier for them to talk when they are upset rather than keep their feelings bottled up in themselves. When they can no longer contain their emotions and want to vent out their anger, they will find someone to talk to.

When your girl doesn’t talk to you anymore, this could mean that she has found someone else whom she wants to vent out to instead of talking.

Sameera Sullivan

Sameera Sullivan

Relationship Expert

They’re not as expressive as they used to be anymore

Depending on how long you’ve been together, knowing your partner’s love language is a pretty essential part of growing together in any relationship.

Ask yourself, has the way they express themselves changed? If your partner’s love language includes physical affection, for example, carefully observe if they’re changing habits.

Are you both still able to make time for the little things? If they’re not expressive anymore, you might want to reflect on the direction of your relationship with them.

She’s not making an attempt to connect

Remember the initial stages of a relationship, where you’d introduce your partner to your friends and hope you all get along like one big happy family? Well, where’d those friends gone?

Is she still making an effort to get you all together and get you to bond? It’s a sign of being fully, holistically included in someone’s life – and if you’re a part of that, you’re likely not going to be in their life much longer.

Whenever you try to gauge if you’re in a happy, loving relationship – ask yourself and your partner, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?“. The answers would be holistic and include standings with regards to career, family, and relationship direction.

Ask yourself:

  • Is your partner including you in their plan?
  • Does their plan show any realistic adjustments for your life together?
  • Does it match your 5-year plan, or are they deliberately choosing a path that strays away from you?

Get honest answers for all these questions, and you’ll know exactly whether or not she loves you anymore.

Jeff Campbell

Blogger, Middle Class Dad

On a more personal note, my wife also asked for a divorce out of the blue eight months ago, so while the signs she wasn’t in love with me anymore seem obvious in retrospect, they didn’t to me at the time.

They care less about their appearance

When a wife or girlfriend has fallen or is falling out of love with you, expect them to care less about their appearance. They may just keep the same casual clothes on that they slept in, stop wearing makeup, or wear it less often, and getting their hair done may happen less frequently.

The only exception will be if someone else is already in the picture or if they are actively trying to find your replacement (which is common).

She is cold, distant, or aloof in her communication

When your wife or girlfriend no longer loves you, she may get cold, distant, or aloof in her communication. Even if it’s negative, passion still indicates she has feelings for you. Once those feelings are gone, most of the emotional connection to you will go away.

Additionally, she may seem disinterested in you and what’s going on with you. She may stop asking how work was or inquire where you are going if you are leaving the house.

Saying “I love you” in response to you saying it first

Beyond those things, some other, more subtle things include her only saying “I love you” in response to you saying it first, not saying it if you say it to her, and being vague or non-committal if you bring up a future vacation or trip somewhere.

If she’s contemplating leaving but not ready to announce it, if you bring up going somewhere for the 4th of July week several months away, she will say things like “I’m not sure I can get the time off” or “That sounds fun” but then quickly change the subject.

She is no longer making eye contact

Another subtle sign is no longer making eye contact. Assuming this is new behavior and not how she always is with everyone, not making eye contact is a way of avoiding emotional intimacy.

After all, unless there was a major transgression like cheating, she likely feels some level of guilt or remorse over wanting to leave you. And the emotional intimacy of eye contact may be too much for her.

Lastly, she will never initiate public displays of affection, and may not even allow it if you initiate it.

Dr. Brenda Wade

Brenda Wade

Advisor, Online For Love

She begins to criticize you for things that she didn’t have issues with before

Very often, there are signs that something is wrong in a relationship. Some are subtle, and others are in your face.

Here are some signs that she isn’t feeling the relationship any longer or is no longer in love:

  • She doesn’t want you touching her.
  • She isn’t interested in sex.
  • She doesn’t hug or kiss you spontaneously.
  • Communication is short and becomes colder and curter as time goes on.
  • She spends way more time with her friends, and even when the two of you are together, she is on her phone.
  • Her body language is turned away and she doesn’t face you.
  • The things she used to say to you that showed you she loved you (admiring words, facial expressions, etc.) are all gone.
  • She starts avoiding you.
  • She begins to criticize you for things that she didn’t have issues with before.
  • She breaks dates with you and starts spending less time with you.

Related: Why is Body Language Important?

A relationship takes a lot of time and commitment to work. There is no “perfect” relationship, and what may work for one person may not work for the other.

If you are seeing any of these signs, start addressing them right away and communicate your feelings to see if the relationship can be saved. You can also get counseling or take classes together on relationships.

Couples who learn together, love better!

Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester

Founder and Creator, The Narcissistic Life

She doesn’t care anymore

If your partner has stopped listening to what you are saying or started making excuses often to avoid spending time with you, then she most likely doesn’t love you anymore. She has emotionally checked out of the relationship and has given up trying.

This typically involves:

  • one-worded answers,
  • avoiding eye contact and intimacy,
  • and generally acting uninterested

She doesn’t want you to touch her

Another sign that she doesn’t love you anymore is if she doesn’t want to touch you, and she doesn’t want you to touch her. If your partner doesn’t want to be close to you, even if it’s simply holding hands or hugging each other, then she’s most likely not into you anymore.

Kris Balekian Hayes

Kris Balekian Hayes

Managing Partner, Balekian Hayes, PLLC

Major unhappiness

There will be difficult times in life, but couples in a strong relationship can usually weather the storm together and can’t imagine a day without their spouse. If the difficult time passes and she is still finding that she is unhappy.

She might be asking herself if the relationship is causing her unhappiness.

  • “How does my relationship happiness rate on a scale from one to ten?”
  • “Can my relationship be changed?”
  • “Do I see us ever being happy again?”

Lack of communication

Communication is key to a happy and healthy relationship. Lack of communication in a relationship is a clear sign that the end is around the corner, especially if your spouse isn’t talking to you but is talking to others first.

You have tried time away, and it was not enough time

If you spend time away from your spouse and it only leaves you longing for more time away, being single might be what you are seeking.

Cynthia Halow

Cynthia Halow

Founder, Personality Max

Love is an emotion expressed in both verbal and nonverbal ways. In cases that the other person feels that love is already gone, the following can be the tell-tale signs.

She doesn’t listen to her partner anymore

This is the most obvious sign. She loses interest in her partner’s stories. Jokes are no longer funny. She will blurt out unrelated responses to her partner’s stories. This can be a sign that she is fading away from an emotional bond.

She finds excuses to spend more time away from her partner

It can be those unscheduled out-of-town trips with friends. She will give a lot of excuses to be away. It may be impromptu business meetings, friends who need help, and a lot more.

The frequency of this type of event may increase over time.

She reacts to anything at the flick of a finger

She will display frequent emotional outbursts and unexplained erratic mood swings. It can happen for no clear reason. Try to analyze if this is a normal reaction or a clear sign of getting her way out of the relationship.

She refuses to have an intimate connection

Avoiding sexual contact with her partner for no clear reason is a red flag already. If she is saying “no” to sex, then this is a clear sign that there is something wrong.

Reality states that there is no 100% fool-proof basis for saying that love is gone. A clear, honest, and straightforward communication is the only way to find out. No matter how hard it may be, one must be ready to hear the truth.

Nikita Dedhia

Nikita Dedhia

Founder, MitCityFarm

She’d had it with you, and she’d had enough of it

Your partner can be the type to squabble about trivial matters. She also told you that she wouldn’t care anymore if she weren’t torn up about these things.

She hardly ever speaks to you

Things may have gotten out of hand at that point. She doesn’t want to talk to you about anything. Maybe she’s merely reacting to your queries. This is a clear indication that something is awry.

Communication is the foundation of any connection, romantic or other. You don’t need to be a relationship expert to recognize this.

She is harsh with you

Silence isn’t always the only indicator that a romantic relationship has ended. On the other hand, there is indeed a lot of noise, and it isn’t the good type.

If your lover constantly complains about you, you need to think about it. It’s also likely that she’s under a lot of stress and is acting unpleasant as a result. Make sure she understands that she is free to share her suffering with you.

She doesn’t think of you when she makes plans

Women are allowed to be as independent as they want, but they usually notify their spouses that they really want it that way. They would also express their want for some “me time.

Communication is crucial to a successful partnership yet again.

She has a tendency of flirting with strangers

She’s not only avoiding you now, but it appears that her affections have been moved to other people.

No, what you witnessed was not a typical exchange. You know what she’s thinking like when she’s flirting with you. After all, you’ve been on the receiving end of it — albeit a long time ago.

Jim Powell

Jim Powell

Co-Founder, My Speech Class

People are strange. Sometimes, there will be no signs she doesn’t love you anymore. She will leave you wondering what happened. However, it is usual to see some changes in her behavior.

She doesn’t talk about anything that made her happy in the past

The first problem in any serious relationship is when you notice that she doesn’t want to talk about something that made her happy to talk about with you before.

It is a crucial problem because she is distancing herself from you, and she is not interested in sharing everyday stories with you. This problem happens when she loses trust in you. That can happen even if you did nothing wrong.

When you sense something is wrong but don’t know what it is

Another sign is when you feel that something isn’t ok, but you don’t know what. It is the situation where you can see that you don’t enjoy a relationship like before but don’t know why.

That usually happens when the other person in a relationship has stopped doing little things that made you happy. That is also a warning sign that she doesn’t love you anymore.

She doesn’t want you to spend time with her friends

The next thing that should worry you is when she doesn’t want you to spend time with her friends.

This usually happens when she is planning to break up with you, and the first step is distancing you from her life, and the most important part of that life is her family and friends.

Richard Lubicky

Richard Lubicky

Founder, RealPeopleSearch

You might be having this feeling of losing your importance or a slight change in your relationship. This can be true because of losing that very spark that you might’ve had in the initial phase.

Here are some of the possible signs to identify from if your girlfriend/wife is losing interest:

She is not understanding and often gives lame excuses without logic

Mutual understanding is an important part of any relationship, and lacking even a point can lead to unnecessary arguments. If in case you feel she is not understanding and coping with your situation by giving lame excuses without any logic, then yes, it’s a sign.

She avoids you but is free for other people

Secondly, if your partner is trying to avoid you even when she is free and has time for others, then this is a possible sign.

When she is more than friendly with other people

If your partner is in touch with other guys in more than just a friendly way, then this is a possible sign of losing interest.

Constant arguments over little things

Lastly, having simultaneous arguments from your partner’s side over stupid things always leads to either breaking or pointing out towards such a thing, which is something you shouldn’t ignore at all costs.

Sarah Davis

Sarah Davis

Founder, Motherhood HQ

Waiting for obvious signs will only prolong the process. You need to understand that most women are not good at showing what they really feel, especially if they know they’ll hurt someone. And you should not bet on that.

The moment you feel something odd, ask her directly

The key here is to make up your mind and have some courage in asking her directly. Why choose to wait for a concrete sign when you can get an answer from her right away?

Asking her directly will let you skip the guessing game and save you time.

So the moment you feel something is odd, ask her directly. This way, you’ll immediately know whether or not she’s still into you or not.

The bottom line, knowing that she doesn’t love you anymore is certainly heartbreaking. But if you really love her, you’ll do everything you can to turn things around.

Don’t give up yet. You need to be the best version of yourself and do everything to get her back.

Alina Clark

Alina Clark

Co-Founder and Marketing Director, CocoDoc

She lies about where she’s been and who’s with her

There are a lot of signs to let you in if she doesn’t love you anymore.

Here are a few of them:

  • She starts making plans without you.
    • If she starts hanging out with you less often and more with her friends, then that may be a sign her feelings have moved on.
  • She starts avoiding you.
    • She’ll have plenty of excuses ready when you ask her to go out with you.
  • She only calls you when she needs you.
    • Be it food, money, or if she needs a ride, but when it’s your turn, she’s suddenly too busy.
  • She doesn’t compromise.
    • It’s her needs and demands that are more important than yours.
  • She isn’t completely present around you.
    • Like always looking at her phone when you’re talking to her and always speaking in one-word responses.
  • Arguments happen all too often.
    • It feels more like a war room every time you’re both together, with tensions running high.
  • She lies about where she’s been and who’s with her.
    • If she starts lying about this, then chances are she doesn’t care enough to let you know the truth.

These are really just guidelines and not rules. Also, some signs may be subtle, while others are rather evident. If she starts acting like this, you should talk to her to make sure you’re not reading things the wrong way.

I hope these signs can help you get out of a bad relationship before the person breaks your heart.

Sofie Parker

Sofie Parker

Wellness Expert, Inboard Skate

When she starts giving you the cold treatment

You know that her feelings are fading when she starts giving you the cold treatment, not because she’s angry but because she’s not as energetic and enthusiastic as she was before.

You can feel it through the SMS you send. Or when you ask and she responds with no interest at all. Or when she doesn’t appreciate your presence any longer. When these things are present or occur most of the time, it’s a sign that she’s slowly falling out of love.

Because, in most cases, if a person still loves you, she’ll appreciate the little things you do and be enthusiastic and energetic whenever she sees you or feels you’re on her side.

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