What Are Core Values and How Do They Control My Life?

Do you ever wonder when you go about your daily life? Is it purpose driven or do you go on automatic pilot? What is controlling your purpose, desire, fire, happiness, values, persistence, tenacity, or grit? Are you controlled by the “Ether” of space?

There are as many theories as there are people on this subject. I know by working with thousands of clients I discovered that the majority of my clients over the years had no clue what their four core values were. I did a simple test I asked my clients to answer this question in under ten seconds, “Can you list your four core values?”

The findings were astonishing! My clients could not list even ONE!

So, I designed a series of exercises to help reveal what their core values were and helped refine them to only four core values. You see, we value many things in our lives that are important to us. But we fail to look at the core values that make us who we are as a person. What are the core and external values? Core values are deep internal values that are owned by one person…you!

Core values are at the heart of your belief system. The four core values are the symphonic director of all the external values.

For instance my core values are: Honesty, Humor, Integrity and Tenacity which control and direct my external values such as Family, Friends, Health, Wealth, Love, Fulfillment, Adventure, Hobbies, Pets, Earth, People, Physical Things, Spiritual Things, Animals, Children, Time, Universe, Money, Wealth, Marriage, My Wife, My Kids, Creation, Mind, Brain and many more!

External values can be changed or manipulated, but the core values, once discovered, do not change.

The four core values are the keystone that is rigid and indestructible. You completely own them which no one can change. When they are challenged you will be uncomfortable. Next time when you agree or disagree with something what did you base it on? On your current knowledge, experience, skills, intuition, biases, subjectivity, age or understanding? Most likely, all of the above! Why? Because your core values are at the heart of your belief system. However, it doesn’t make you automatically right! It’s your opinion. What we seek is an agreement not if we are right or wrong.

We live in a world of opinions and subjectivity. Your thought and feelings are internalized and created in your own mind. When we speak words these words come from our belief system, which originates from our core values. Let’s create an image of a spoked wagon wheel.

The wheel has a center hub which is connected to the spokes on one end and extend all the way to the rim on the opposite end. The purpose of the spokes is to keep the wheel balanced, connected to the hub and rim, and the hub holds it all together while supporting the load.

The hub is related to the Core Values and the spokes are connected to the External Values. When the hub, spokes and wheel work in harmony the wheel rolls smoothly on the ground. If the core values-Hub are not true this will affect the external values-spokes and cause the wheel to spin out of balance bouncing on the road. Is your wheel rolling smoothly or bouncing all over the place?

Look at the diagram below to see how Core Values and External Values are connected and work together.

So, how do you balance your wheel?

By discovering and refining your core values from the list of all the things you value most in your life.

Take a look at some common values:

Can you list more? Hope so! The more you list out the easier it will be to identify and reveal your core values. The key number is 30-40 total values. Here’s why: Because your list will serve two purposes one to identify your core values and two identify external values. Get out a piece of paper, note-pad, note-book, I-pad, computer or whatever method you choose. Write or type as many values that mean the most to YOU in a column format (Important values you personally own is key).

This exercise will become more challenging as the list shrinks…keep going! Next select halve the list, so if you have 40 values select the top 20. Then from that list choose the top 10. Then from the top 10 choose the top 5. From here you would have to remove one value from the list. If you cannot decide without a doubt walk away for a day or two then come back to the list. When you come back to the list ask yourself this question, “Which values do I live and do every day?”

Now that you decided what your four core values are, post them on your frig and read them often enough to commit them to memory. Once you commit them to memory do the time test. Can you say them within ten seconds without looking at the written list? If so…Fantastic! If not, keep practicing!

The other way to remember your core values is to ask these questions, “Did I Live My Core Values Today?” “Was I Honest?” “Was I Humorous?” “Did I maintain my Integrity” “Was I Tenacious on completing my main task?” (These are my Core Values) If you answered yes to all four…whoot whoot good for you! Did 3 of 4 Excellent! Did 2 of 4 Nice! Did 1 of 3 keep going!

Remember, living your core values is not an all or nothing but a balance between your core values and your external values. Both are equally important when they work together. Core values are the mind and external values are the brain…and they can’t survive without one another. Live your core values and the external values will follow!

Summary

Remember, ask yourself these initial questions: Do you ever wonder when you go about your daily life is it purpose driven or do you go on auto-pilot? What is controlling your purpose, desire, fire, happiness, values, persistence, tenacity, or grit? Are you controlled by the “Ether” of space?

Core values are deep internal values that are owned by one person…you! Core values are at the heart of your belief system. The four core values are the symphonic director of all the external values; which control and direct your external values such as Family, Friends, Health, Wealth, Love, Fulfillment, Adventure, Hobbies, Pets, Earth, People, Physical Things, Spiritual Things, Animals, Children, Time, Universe, Money, Wealth, Marriage, My Wife, My Kids, Creation, Mind, Brain and many more!

External values can be changed or manipulated, but the core values, once discovered, do not change. The Four Core Values are the keystone that is rigid and indestructible. When you agree or disagree with something what did you base it on? On your current knowledge, experience, skills, intuition, biases, subjectivity, age or understanding? Most likely, all of the above! Why? Because your core values are at the heart of your belief system.

The hub of a wheel is related to the Core Values and the spokes of a wheel are connected to the External Values. When the hub, spokes and wheel work in harmony the wheel rolls smoothly on the ground. If the core values-Hub are not true this will affect the external values-spokes and cause the wheel to spin out of balance bouncing on the road. Is your wheel rolling smoothly or bouncing all over the place? Also, by discovering and refining your core values from the list of all the things you value most in your life is important.

It’s a good idea to list 30-40 total values first then continue to shrink the list down by half until you get to four. These four will be your core values. Here’s why it’s important to do this first: Because your list will serve two purposes one to identify your core values and two identify external values.

Now that you know what your four core values are, post them on your frig and read them often enough to commit them to memory. Once you commit them to memory do the time test. Can you say them within ten seconds without looking at the written list?

Remember, living your core values is not an all or nothing but a balance between your core values and your external values. Both are equally important when they work together. Core values are the mind and external values are the brain…and they can’t survive without one another. Live your core values and the external values will follow!

Live your life the way it is meant to be lived!