What are the best things about being single? Is it better than being in a relationship?
Let’s explore the benefits of staying single, according to experts:
Anita P. Stoudmire, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Therapist | Love Mentor | Founder, Better Love Movement
For many people, they enjoy being single because it keeps their options open
Being single today is not as “taboo” as it once was. They can move at any time, take a job overseas if they choose to, and date whomever they want for as long as they want. They get to manage their time as they choose. Time freedom is truly the number one reason why people stay single.
If they have a career they love, they can spend as many hours they want working. If they are building a business, they can do so without the hassle of having to keep up with someone else and their schedule. For many, having to “check-in” with someone with regards to the moves they want to make can be restrictive and suffocating.
Money freedom is the second most important reason why some people stay single
They get to spend their money how they want and when they want. There is no need to divulge to anyone how they are spending their money and where.
Being able to live a life free of emotional drama is attractive
They may have been in an emotionally draining relationship before and it just wasn’t worth the headache or heartache! Introverts will often note that dealing with people can sometimes be draining and exhausting and they chose not to do it. They find people and romantic relationships to be energy draining.
Clinical Psychologist | Author | Yoga Instructor
Many of us are so focused on not being in a relationship that we forget that when we are single we have the benefit of being in a relationship with ourselves.
This is the time to make you a priority and to explore who you are at this stage of your life
We can opt to deepen our spirituality, discover new hobbies, reconnect with old friends and family, re-assess our core values, take stock of where we are in our careers and if a shift needs to be made. If you want to take action and opt for a move, now is the time.
Travel the world solo, explore cities or countries that you have been waiting for someone else to view them with. The time is now to be your own knight in shining armor. Ponder what you may want for a relationship in the future.
Explore if any of those characteristics are features you long to have within yourself. If this is so, take action. As Gandhi says, “be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Dawn Burnett, CSA
Transformational Divorce Coach | Wellness Strategist |
Author, Connect How To Love And Accept Yourself After Divorce
You can focus on working on yourself
Your attention and time aren’t divided this provides you the ability to focus on connecting within and determining what really makes you happy.
You can spend your money any way you want
If you see a good deal on something you don’t have to check in with a partner instead you can jump on the savings so you don’t miss out.
You can sleep calmly
You don’t have to share energy space with someone else and their sleep habits.
You can discover your strengths
When faced with adversity, you are the one who has your own back, so when adversities hit and you are forced to rise to the occasion you uncover how strong you really are.
You have space to create
When your time and focus is on someone else on top of the daily duties that pull us it leaves little time for creating. When you are alone there is the opportunity to silence the noise so you can tap into spirit and create, leading you in the direction of your destiny.
Author, Wine Sex and Suicide My near Death Divorce | Creator, You Can Heal Your Heartbreak Audio Program
For most of my adult life, I felt unsettled or lonely if I wasn’t in a relationship. During the time after a break-up, I just bided my time, wishing and hoping for a new guy to come into my life so I could be happy.
It took me a very long, dark and winding spiritual journey through healing and moving on after an unwanted divorce to realize I’d entered into relationships with a flawed premise; that I needed something outside of myself for happiness and fulfillment.
Today, I am a huge advocate of the single life. And perhaps I’ve swung the pendulum a bit far in that direction in the sense that I am not interested in a relationship at all. But for me, this is a time in my life of incredible autonomy and personal freedom that I’ve only just developed in the past five years.
I learned to manage my own schedule
My personal benefits from being a single woman range from the practicality of not having to coordinate my schedule with anyone else, to the deep spiritual growth I’ve embraced in finally nurturing a relationship with myself.
It seems part of being human includes a longing to belong; to a family, a community, a partner, some external collective where we feel sheltered and safe, supported and understood. But the journey of the soul almost certainly veers off down a path of darkness and isolation that, through intentional work, leads us to the luminosity of coming home to ourselves.
As human beings, we need connections with other people but we enter the danger zone when we identify our value and worth from something external; in my case, my marriage and being part of a family I believed I’d be part of forever.
My loneliness transformed into appreciating my solitude
When I once buckled from feelings of emptiness when observing happy couples and families, I now look upon them with an appreciation for their positive experience which takes nothing away from me because I feel whole.
I’ve become self-reliant, resilient and a good problem solver
I love that I tune in to my heart and take action on the creative, sometimes impulsive, ideas for an adventure that I’ve embarked on in the past three years, like volunteer trips in three foreign countries and an eight-month RV trip across the US. Being single allowed me to become more of my authentic self, while in my marriage I lost track of who I really was other than being, his wife.
On the practical sunny-side of singledom; I can be as messy or neat as I please. I don’t clean up after someone or do anyone’s laundry other than my own. If I want to eat cereal for dinner, I will. If I feel like cooking, I will. I have come to love having the bed all to myself and the thought of sharing that space doesn’t appeal to me as it did years ago.
I enjoy my own company and never feel lonely
I imagine this is how well-adjusted people have felt during their 30’s and 40’s, but my late start has been incredibly rewarding thus far and I look forward to my continued personal growth and becoming more me, whatever that looks like.
Briana MaryAnn Hollis, MSSA, CDCA, LSW
Licensed Social Worker | Life Coach | Founder, Learning To Be Free
There are many benefits to being single. I should know! After my first long-term relationship ended, I was single from age 21 until 28. In this time I learned a lot about the benefits of being single.
You can do anything you want
This was my favorite benefit of being single. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want to do it. I used this benefit to my advantage by solo traveling, going to all the musicals I wanted, and watching the tv shows that I wanted to watch. You truly get to experience the things that you want to experience.
You understand who you really want to be in a relationship with
When you’re single you have the opportunity to date whoever you want. With this, comes the understanding of what you really want out of a relationship and what you really need out of a relationship. I challenge single people to date outside of their “type” and say yes to dates that you may not have said yes to before. Experiment and learn about your non-negotiables.
Self-discovery and self-improvement
Being single allows you to focus on yourself and your needs, desires, and aspirations. You will have time to explore yourself deeply and get to know yourself in a way that you may not always be able to when you’re with another person. I would recommend reading self-help books, listening to podcasts, journaling, and taking time to sit with yourself and your thoughts.
Founder, Women Of Integrity Inc.
- Being able to work on yourself. Take personal development classes.
- Being to go and come as you please, without having to answer to anyone.
- Enjoy having your own space.
- You have time to focus on your career.
- You have to be comfortable with yourself and love yourself first, in order to teach someone how to love you.
- It gives you clarity, in order for you to sort out through all the emotional baggage that may come with you.
At the end of the day, the majority of people are looking for a life partner.
You have to make sure that the person will compliment you and be compatible. You have to know what you want and what you are willing to accept prior to getting into a relationship.
So, taking time out and being single is not always a bad thing. Discover who you are, so that when you do get in a relationship, you will be bringing the best version of you.
When we’re born, we know who we are. Then we get hurt or rejected and create a false self that attempts to be safe, get love and minimize pain.
Many people don’t have peace being alone with their feelings so they seek a relationship to fill a void, to feel worthy, to grasp for wholeness, all the while pushing it away being needy, controlling or smothering.
The gift of being single is to fall in love with yourself again
It’s about learning to love yourself unconditionally, wobbly parts and all. It’s about learning to soothe your fears, have real honest vulnerable conversations with yourself about the life you truly desire to create and then from wholeness, inner safety, and authentic expression, find your ideal partner with whom to co-create a thriving intimate relationship.
It takes courage, persistence, humility and a willingness for it to take as long as it takes. Yet you will get there. And the rich depth and higher quality of your next relationship will make it all worth it.
Certified Relationship Expert | Family Care Professional, Maple Holistics
Being single means having more freedom
Being single as a pringle can actually be quite great! Think about it- being single means being responsible for no one but yourself.
You can eat what you want, go out when you want, and do what you want without having to answer to anyone. You can take time to invest in yourself and discover new hobbies, something that you wouldn’t have time for if you were tied down by a relationship.
And best of all, being single means not having to share a bed! No fighting over the covers or getting kicked in the middle of the night- being single means getting a restful night’s sleep every night!
Recovery Coach | Mentor
This list could be endless, but if we find ourselves being single with thoughts that we’d prefer to be in a relationship the list gets really short really fast.
I am going to address this question from a place of embracing our being single without all the hang-ups around not being single. Having said that if you find that you’re single and lament it at every turn, this may be a frustrating read.
The deepest benefit of being single is love
It may seem counterintuitive but we are loving beings and when we leave the realm of obligated love we can express and experience love in its full spectrum. Loving those around us, as they are, without wanting them to change, helps us understand freedom in ways that relationships cannot begin to approach.
Offering love to others in this way, while in a relationship, can stir up jealousies and physical passions. Those passions arise because being in a relationship, especially one that is based on monogamy, is based on an agreement, not freedom.
Experiencing love, whether it has a physical component or not, which doesn’t have agreements keeping us from expressing ourselves is healthy for us to understand the depth of relationship. Friends encourage us to follow our heart because our happiness is important to them. Sharing the love with everyone we know is a great way to learn how to share it with ourselves as well.
Chief Communications Officer, Been Verified
A better sense of identity
Our society tends to associate being “single” as negative. In fact, many people fall into depression when they are unable to find love. However, what many of you do not know are the benefits that come with being single.
Women who opt out of relationships for one reason or another often have a better sense of identity. They control their own happiness and are content and happy with just their presence when alone at home.
More time for hobbies and self-care
Furthermore, they have more time to pursue hobbies and work on self-care as building confidence is important in one’s life. And when a single woman with a strong sense of who she is does decide to dip into the dating scene, her chances of having a strong, long-lasting marriage are higher than a woman who relies on relationships and another person for happiness and feelings of belonging.
Less stress associated with having friends of the opposite sex
Ideally, a person can have friends of different genders while in a relationship; however, it does have some drawbacks. Some people struggle with jealousy after learning that their partners hung out with the opposite sex alone. More often than not, fights, tighter leashes, and distrust are the results.
To avoid such consequences, unfortunately, some couples promise to only talk or meet up with those of the same gender; thus, many lose touch with former friends. When single, though, you do not have to worry about overstepping boundaries. Less stress regarding who you hang out with leads to memorable experiences and stronger friendships.
Being single means allowing yourself the time to become your own best partner
As a single person, you don’t need to be on anyone else’s timetable or hide any part of yourself to impress someone and make a good first impression. You can learn more about yourself when you spend time getting to know the real you.
Society loves to make people think single is the worst thing you can be, but it’s not. Single doesn’t mean alone!
Lean into your friendships, explore new people and practice boundary-setting with casual dating apps, or join a local meetup group for an interest or hobby. By boundary-setting I mean casual dating with nothing on the line you feel like you’ll lose.
If you don’t set out looking for your next forever partner, you suddenly feel much more empowered to say no to a second date when something doesn’t feel quite right or to express exactly what you’re looking for rather than putting your own expectations aside to come across a certain way.
Being single lends freedom to be unapologetic about saying no in a way that we tend to hedge our bets on when we want our next long-term partner.