It’s hard to know what to say when someone you care about loses a loved one. “Sorry for your loss” can feel too plain or distant. We want to say something that really shows we care.
In this article, I’ll share other ways to offer comfort and sympathy. These ideas will help make your words more personal and heartfelt. Ready to learn what to say instead? Let’s get started.
Table of Contents
- “I’m Here for You During This Difficult Time”
- “My Heartfelt Condolences to You and Your Family”
- “If You Need to Talk, I’m Here to Listen”
- “I’m Sending You Strength and Love”
- “Please Accept My Deepest Sympathies”
- “Your Loved One Will Always Be Remembered”
- “I’m Here to Support You in Any Way I Can”
- “I’m So Sorry You’re Going Through This”
- “Please Know That You’re Not Alone in Your Grief”
- “I’m Sharing in Your Sadness as You Grieve”
- “I Can’t Imagine the Pain You’re Going Through”
- “I’m Deeply Saddened by Your Loss”
- “Your Loved One’s Memory Will Live on Forever”
- “Your Loved One Was an Incredible Person”
- “Your Loved One’s Legacy Will Never Be Forgotten”
- “I Can’t Take Away Your Pain, but I Can Listen”
- “Your Strength During This Time Is Inspiring”
- “I’m Holding Space for You During This Difficult Time”
- “Please Know That Your Feelings Are Valid”
- “I’m Here to Walk Alongside You in Your Grief”
- “Your Loved One Touched So Many Lives”
- “Your Loved One Will Forever Be in Our Hearts”
- “I’ll Always Cherish the Memories of [Name]”
- “I’m So Grateful to Have Known [Name]”
- “I’ll Always Remember [Name]’s Kindness and Warmth”
- “Your Loved One’s Spirit Will Always Be with You”
- “I’m So Sorry for the Heartache You’re Experiencing”
- “Your Loved One’s Love Will Always Surround You”
- “I’m Sending You a Gentle Reminder to Take Care of Yourself”
- “Your Loved One’s Life Was a Beautiful Gift”
- “I’m Here to Listen Without Judgment”
- “I’m Sending You Strength and Courage for the Road Ahead”
- “Please Know That My Heart Is With You During This Time”
- Excerpts From the Experts
- Frequently Asked Questions
- Final Thoughts
“I’m Here for You During This Difficult Time”
When you say, “I’m here for you during this difficult time,” you offer support and comfort. It tells the person they are not alone. It’s a simple yet powerful way to show you care.
This phrase lets them know that you are available whenever they need you. Your presence can be a great help during their tough moments.
Here are a few things to consider:
- Remember to check on them regularly, not just once.
- Be ready to do simple things like grocery shopping for them.
- Hang around without pushing them to do anything they’re not ready for.
“Follow up a few weeks later. Say things like, ‘I’m thinking about you. How are you doing? What do you need?’ This is such a valuable way of communicating support.”
— Angela Amias, LISW | Licensed Therapist | Co-Founder, Alchemy of Love
“My Heartfelt Condolences to You and Your Family”
Saying this is a respectful way to offer sympathy. It shows that you care deeply about their loss. This phrase acknowledges the pain they are going through.
It’s not just about the person grieving, but their whole family. It makes your message broader and more inclusive.
You could say, “I’m really sorry for what you’re all facing. I’m here if there’s anything I can do to make things even a little easier.”
“If You Need to Talk, I’m Here to Listen”
When you say, “If you need to talk, I’m here to listen,” you offer your time and attention. It lets them know they can talk to you whenever they’re ready. This message gives them space without pressure.
Listening can be more helpful than giving advice. Your job is just to be there and hear them out.
Example: When you’re hanging out and it feels right, you can remind them, “If you want to talk about it, I’m all ears. It’s totally your call.”
"If you need someone to talk to or just listen; I can be there for you. Please don't hesitate to ask or call me."
— Sally Collins | Founder and Owner, Sympathy Message Ideas
“I’m Sending You Strength and Love”
It’s tough to see someone you care about feeling so down. By saying, “I’m sending you strength and love,” you’re not just throwing words at the problem — you really want them to feel better and find the energy to keep going.
It’s a warm and uplifting way to show you’re there for them. This kind of message can make them feel less alone during a tough time.
Drop them a line saying, “Sending a bunch of strength and love your way today. You’ve got plenty of people rooting for you, including me.”
“Please Accept My Deepest Sympathies”
When you tell someone, “Please accept my deepest sympathies,” you are offering a respectful and heartfelt condolence. This phrase shows that you recognize their pain and are genuinely sorry for their loss.
It is a formal yet sincere way to express your sympathy. It is suitable for various relationships, whether personal or professional. This shows that you are sensitive to their feelings and are there for them.
Example: Maybe you’ll see them in person, and you can let them know, “I really mean it — my deepest sympathies are with you and your family. If there’s a way I can make things even a tiny bit better, tell me.”
“Your Loved One Will Always Be Remembered”
When you tell someone, “Your loved one will always be remembered,” it’s like making sure their loved one has a place in the history books. You’re assuring them that the person who has gone isn’t just going to fade away.
It’s about saying that their loved one left a mark in this world and in peoples’ hearts. It’s like saying, “They’re gone, but definitely not erased.”
“I’m Here to Support You in Any Way I Can”
Telling this to someone is all about making sure they feel they’ve got a teammate in this rough game called grieving. It’s a promise that you’ll be there, whether they:
- Need a hand to hold.
- Need someone to do their laundry.
- Need just you being around.
You’re not trying to fix their hurt; you’re just offering to help carry the load of their sadness for a while. It’s like saying, “Tell me what you need, and it’s done.” You’re being their personal backup — ready to step in whenever they give you the nod.
"If you're struggling at all, then I'm more than happy to come and help out with anything you need — cleaning, cooking, etc."
"I know you must be really busy right now and so I can pick up a few things when I go shopping if you'd like."
— Sally Collins | Founder and Owner, Sympathy Message Ideas
“I’m So Sorry You’re Going Through This”
When you say, “I’m so sorry you’re going through this,” you’re acknowledging that someone is having a really hard time. It’s a heartfelt way to let them know you see how tough the situation is for them.
You’re trying to say, “It’s unfair, and it stinks that you have to deal with this pain.” This phrase is like lending them your shoulder so they can get some of the heaviness out of their system. It’s simple, it’s honest, and it comes from a place of caring.
“Please Know That You’re Not Alone in Your Grief”
When you say, “Please know that you’re not alone in your grief,” you are offering comfort and solidarity. This phrase reassures the grieving person that others are there to support them. It’s a gentle reminder that they don’t have to face their sorrow by themselves.
This can provide significant relief and comfort during a tough time. Knowing that others share in their grief makes the burden feel lighter.
Example: At the end of your next phone call, you could add, “And hey, just so you know, you’re not doing this grief thing solo. I’m with you all the way through this.”
“I’m Sharing in Your Sadness as You Grieve”
When you say, “I’m sharing in your sadness as you grieve,” you’re letting someone know that you feel their loss, too. This phrase shows empathy and shared sorrow. It tells them that they aren’t alone in their grief and that their feelings are valid.
This can provide comfort because it acknowledges the deep sadness they are experiencing. It builds a sense of connection and mutual support.
Example: When you’re both quietly sitting together, it might be right to say, “This really is a tough time, and I feel it with you. We’ll face these tough days together.”
“I Can’t Imagine the Pain You’re Going Through”
Admitting “I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through” is like saying, “I won’t pretend to fully understand just how much you hurt.” It’s honest and respectful — it recognizes that their pain is theirs and that it must be really deep.
It’s acknowledging the gravity of their loss without pretending you know exactly what it’s like. This is you saying, “Your hurt is yours, and it’s really big, and I respect that.”
“I’m Deeply Saddened by Your Loss”
This statement means you’re truly letting them know that their pain is being felt by you, too. It’s a way of saying that what happened to them has really made you feel something inside.
It’s straight to the point — you’re sad because something sad has happened to someone you care about.
Example: Maybe when you’re both sitting quietly, you can say, “I want you to know I feel really sad about what happened. If you want to just sit and talk about it, or not talk at all, I’m here.”
“Your Loved One’s Memory Will Live on Forever”
This statement means you’re honoring the deceased. It reassures the grieving person that their loved one won’t be forgotten, and it’s comforting to know that the loved one’s influence continues.
This statement helps to keep the memory alive. It provides a sense of continuity and respect for the deceased’s impact on others.
Example: You could add to a card or say in person, “The way [Name] lived, the joy they shared, it’s going to last forever. Whenever their name comes up, we’ll all be remembering with a smile.”
“Your Loved One Was an Incredible Person”
Saying “Your loved one was an incredible person” honors the deceased and acknowledges their qualities. This phrase highlights the positive impact the person had on others.
It tells the grieving person that their loved one was special and valued. This can bring comfort and pride during a difficult time.
At the right moment, you might tell them, “I was just thinking about how incredible [Name] was, especially the way they [specific thing]. We lost someone really special.”
“Your Loved One’s Legacy Will Never Be Forgotten”
When you say, “Your loved one’s legacy will never be forgotten,” you’re pretty much making sure the person knows their loved one left a mark. It’s a promise that all the good stuff the person did and stood for will be remembered.
We’re talking about the kind of stuff — like how they treated people or the work they did — that sticks in people’s minds.
Example: You could let them know, “Your dad’s kindness at the community center won’t ever slip our minds. The difference he made there, it’s going to stay with us.”
“I Can’t Take Away Your Pain, but I Can Listen”
Saying, “I can’t take away your pain, but I can listen,” shows you care. This phrase tells them you know their grief is deep, but you’re there to hear them out.
It’s supportive without trying to fix everything. Just listening can be a big help for someone who is grieving. It’s a simple way to show you’re there for them.
"I know words could never hope to ease your pain, but I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you."
— Sally Collins | Founder and Owner, Sympathy Message Ideas
“Your Strength During This Time Is Inspiring”
When you say, “Your strength during this time is inspiring,” you’re praising their resilience. This phrase shows you admire how they are handling their loss.
It can be encouraging to hear they are strong. It gives them a bit of positivity during a tough time, and complimenting their strength helps them keep going.
Get to Know Yourself Better with Our FREE Quizzes! (no email sign-up necessary):
- How Well Do You Know Yourself?
- Are You Living Your Full Potential?
- How Self-Motivated Are You?
- Is It the Right Time for a Big Change?
- Are You Living a Balanced Life?
- Are You Handling Stress Effectively?
Explore our quiz categories: Business Quizzes, Career Quizzes, Personality Quizzes, Relationship Quizzes, Well-Being Quizzes
You could just say, during a quiet talk, “The way you’re handling everything, it’s really inspiring to me. You probably don’t always feel it, but you’re showing a lot of courage.”
“I’m Holding Space for You During This Difficult Time”
Letting someone know this is about making room for them to be just as they are. It’s not crowding them, not trying to cheer them up or change how they feel. It means you’re on standby, ready to support them in the ways they choose, with no strings attached.
This phrase is about giving them the freedom to grieve without feeling like they need to act a certain way around you. It’s like saying, “You do you, and I’ll just be right here whenever you need me.”
“Please Know That Your Feelings Are Valid”
When you tell someone this phrase, you are really saying it’s okay for them to feel whatever they’re feeling. It’s about not dismissing their pain or telling them they should be over it already.
Each person’s grief is their own, and this phrase respects that. It’s letting them know that all the ups and downs, all the twists and turns of their emotions, they’re all allowed.
Example: In a gentle voice, you might say, “I just want you to know that however you’re feeling right now, it’s completely okay. Your emotions matter, and they’re 100% valid.”
“I’m Here to Walk Alongside You in Your Grief”
Sometimes, it’s important to reassure someone of this phrase. It doesn’t mean you’re leading the way or carrying them; it’s about being a companion on this tough journey they’re on.
You’re not trying to guide them or hurry them along. It’s about going at their pace, taking it step by step, together.
Example: During a quiet moment, let them know, “I’m right here with you, every step of the way through this grief. No matter how long the road looks, you’re not walking it by yourself, okay?”
“Your Loved One Touched So Many Lives”
When you say, “Your loved one touched so many lives,” you’re recognizing the positive impact the deceased had on others. This phrase acknowledges that their life made a difference to many people.
It shows the grieving person that their loved one was important and valued. This can be comforting during a time of loss.
Example: You might share a moment like, “You know, your sister helped so many kids learn to read. Her kindness is something that all those families will carry with them.”
“Your Loved One Will Forever Be in Our Hearts”
Saying, “Your loved one will forever be in our hearts,” reassures the grieving person that their loved one will always be remembered. This phrase provides comfort by suggesting that the person’s memory will live on in the hearts of those who knew them.
It shows a continued emotional connection. This phrase can bring a sense of peace and continuity. It signifies that love and memories never fade.
Example: With a soft look, you can offer, “Your mom always had the kindest words for everyone. She’s left a trace in our hearts that’ll stay there forever.”
“I’ll Always Cherish the Memories of [Name]”
When you say, “I’ll always cherish the memories of [Name],” you’re telling the person that you hold the deceased’s memory dear. It shows that you have fond and lasting memories of their loved one.
This phrase provides comfort by sharing the importance of those memories. It’s a personal and heartfelt way to honor the deceased, offering a connection through shared memories.
"Perhaps take their hand while you are speaking to them. Follow your 'I'm so sorry' by saying the person's name (another thing that people are reluctant to do), and if you knew them, reiterate how much they will be missed. You can even share a memory or two."
— Carole Brody Fleet | Grief Recovery Expert | Author, "Widows Wear Stilettos"
“I’m So Grateful to Have Known [Name]”
This is a way of telling someone that you feel lucky to have had their loved one in your life. It’s like saying meeting them made your life better. This phrase isn’t about the sadness of the loss; it’s about being thankful for the time you got to spend with them.
Sharing this gratitude can bring comfort and a sense of pride to those mourning. It shows that their loved one’s life was meaningful to others.
Example: With a smile, you might say, “I’ve been thinking a lot about [Name] lately. I’m really thankful that I got to know them; they were one in a million.”
“I’ll Always Remember [Name]’s Kindness and Warmth”
When you say this, you’re telling someone that the good in their loved one won’t be forgotten. You’re highlighting the qualities that made their loved one so special — the way they made others feel welcome and cared for.
It’s your way of saying that the warmth they spread in their life will keep on glowing in your memory.
You might comfort them with, “I won’t ever forget the kind way [Name] greeted everyone. They had a way of making a regular day feel a little warmer.”
"Whenever I think of __, the first thing that will come to me will be his/her warm smile and generous spirit."
— Sally Collins | Founder and Owner, Sympathy Message Ideas
“Your Loved One’s Spirit Will Always Be with You”
By telling someone that “Your loved one’s spirit will always be with you,” you are saying that the essence of who their loved one was will remain close by. It’s like assuring them that the loved one’s energy, their laughter, the love they showed — none of that is gone.
It’s a kind of comfort that even though we can’t see them anymore, the best parts of who they were stick around.
“I’m So Sorry for the Heartache You’re Experiencing”
When you tell someone, “I’m so sorry for the heartache you’re experiencing,” you’re acknowledging the deep pain they’re going through. This phrase doesn’t mince words; it gets straight to the heavy hurt they must be feeling.
It’s another way of saying you wish they weren’t going through this tough time. You’re trying to show that you understand the weight of their sorrow.
Here are a few things to consider:
- Your tone should be gentle and caring to match the compassionate words you’re using.
- Offer this sentiment at an appropriate time when they can fully hear you.
- Be ready to simply listen or hug them if that’s what they need after you’ve said your piece.
“Your Loved One’s Love Will Always Surround You”
This reassuringly reminds them that the love they shared doesn’t end with their loved one’s passing. It’s a comforting way of suggesting that the affection and care they felt is still there, like a warm, invisible blanket.
This phrase suggests that love is a lasting force that sticks around even when someone is gone. It’s meant to give them a sense of continuous connection with the person they miss.
Example: Sitting down together, you can gently offer, “Even though things are so hard right now, remember that the love you and [Name] had is always going to be there, wrapping around you.”
“I’m Sending You a Gentle Reminder to Take Care of Yourself”
When you say, “I’m sending you a gentle reminder to take care of yourself,” you show concern for their well-being. This phrase encourages them to focus on self-care during a tough time.
Grief can be overwhelming, and people often neglect their own needs. This reminder is caring and thoughtful. It’s a way of showing support while promoting their well-being.
A few things to consider:
- Make your reminder casual and gentle — it shouldn’t sound like an order.
- Couple your words with a caring gesture, like bringing over a healthy meal or offering to join them for a walk.
- Encourage small acts of self-care; it doesn’t have to be a big deal — sometimes, just changing out of pajamas can be a good step.
“Your Loved One’s Life Was a Beautiful Gift”
Saying, “Your loved one’s life was a beautiful gift,” honors the deceased by acknowledging the beauty they brought to the world. This phrase highlights the positive impact of their life. It provides comfort by focusing on the good memories and the joy they shared.
This reminder celebrates the life they lived. It helps the grieving person see the value and beauty of their loved one’s life.
Example: When the mood feels right, you might reflect with them, “Your father’s life was truly a beautiful gift to all who knew him. The way he brightened every room he entered, we’ll hold onto that forever.”
“I’m Here to Listen Without Judgment”
When you say, “I’m here to listen without judgment,” you offer a safe space for the grieving person to express their feelings. This phrase reassures them that they can share anything without fear of being judged.
It’s an invitation to open up and talk about their emotions freely. This kind of support can be very valuable. It shows empathy and unconditional support.
In a reassuring tone, you could let them know, “Whenever you feel like talking, I’m here just to listen, no judgments. Whatever is on your mind, it’s safe with me.”
“I’m Sending You Strength and Courage for the Road Ahead”
When you say, “I’m sending you strength and courage for the road ahead,” you’re offering support and encouragement. It shows you wish them the resilience they need to get through difficult times.
This message can boost their spirits and provide a sense of hope. It’s a way to show you care and want to help them be strong.
“Please Know That My Heart Is With You During This Time”
This is more than just a simple sentiment; it’s you telling someone that you’re emotionally connected to what they’re going through. It’s like saying your feelings are sitting right next to their feelings, keeping them company.
By sharing this, you’re showing that you care deeply and sincerely about the sorrow they are facing. It doesn’t mean you literally feel the same pain, but it does mean that their pain matters to you.
Example: You might say gently, during a quiet moment together, “I just want you to know that you’re not carrying this alone; my heart is right there with you.”
Excerpts From the Experts
“Instead of saying, ‘Please let me know if you need anything,’ or dropping off a dinner they may not want, think about 2 or 3 small specific ways you can show support and offer them choices. For example:
- ‘I’m available any morning this week and would love to drop off your favorite (latte, breakfast sandwich, smoothie, etc.).’
- ‘I can plan on picking up the kids for the next two weeks if that would be helpful.’
- ‘I’m available in the evenings this week to go sit by the lake (or backyard, park, or any special place) with you if you’re up for it.’
- ‘Is there any detail or errand I can take off your plate this week?’
These questions may invite them to think specifically of how you may help them… And finally, consider making a note on your calendar to check in with the grieving person 2 or 3 months from the date of their loved one’s passing. This is the time when the cards and phone calls dwindle and they often most need support.”
— Deborah Callahan | Bereavement Consultant | Author, “An Uncommon Farewell: How to Honor the Loss of Your Loved One In the Time of Pandemic“
“Perhaps the most important thing we can say is not saying anything. Instead, what we can do is listen. To start the conversational ball rolling, ask, ‘Would you like to talk about it?’
Do not offer any advice or really say anything; just listen intently. Initially, if a question should arise, if appropriate, reply with a question. So if they should say, ‘Is it normal to feel this way?’ Ask them what they think would be normal.
This helps them to continue getting the pain out. You may be amazed at how this helps them as well as you.”
— Jonathan Steele, RN | Minister | Hospice Nurse
“Often, grieving people fear expressing emotions such as anger, fear, or (in the case of the death of a loved one who suffered for many years) relief. Let them know you’re there to listen — openly and non-judgmentally.
Offer support in ways you’ve found helpful in the past. ‘When I lost __, my friend took care of __, and I found that helpful. It’s something I’d be able to do for you if you want me to.’
This is a way of offering a specific kind of support that lets the grieving person know you’re there for them while also allowing them to tell you something they would find helpful.”
— Angela Amias, LISW | Licensed Therapist | Co-Founder, Alchemy of Love
“What I needed most was peace…
- Peace that I knew I had done all I could do for her.
- Peace that I was making the right decisions with and for my Dad.
- Peace with my siblings.
- Emotional peace.
- Peace at home, so I didn’t get angry when my husband didn’t understand.
Today, I say, ‘I wish you peace in the days ahead.’ I acknowledge that right now, there is no peace, no calm. But in the days ahead, you will find peace.”
— Holly Wolf | Supportive Services for Veteran Families Program Manager, Opportunity House
Frequently Asked Questions
Why should I look for alternatives to “Sorry for your loss”?
Looking for alternative phrases can make your condolences more personal and heartfelt. “Sorry for your loss” is kind, but sometimes it feels too generic or overused. Using different words can show that you genuinely care and are truly sharing in their grief.
Is it okay to say “I understand how you feel” to someone who is grieving?
It’s usually better not to say this because everyone’s grief is unique. Instead, you could say, “I’m here to support you in any way I can,” to show empathy without assuming you understand their experience.
What if the person doesn’t want to talk about their feelings?
Respect their process. Let them know you’re available whenever they feel like talking. Sometimes, people need space, and that’s totally okay.
Should I still reach out to someone who is grieving even if a lot of time has passed?
Absolutely. Grief doesn’t have an expiration date. Dropping them a message like “Just thinking of you today” can remind them they’re not alone, no matter how much time has passed.
Is it okay to make the person laugh or smile?
Yes, if the moment feels right. Sharing a happy memory or a gentle laugh can be a welcome break from sadness. Just be sure to follow their lead on this.
Final Thoughts
We all struggle with what to say when someone we care about is grieving. Moving beyond “Sorry for your loss” to something more personal can really help. It’s about finding the right words and showing you’re there for them.
Also, don’t underestimate the power of your actions. A hug, a shared story, or just sitting together in silence can mean a lot. Let’s aim to bring more comfort and support during these tough times.
