Why Do People Break Up? (46 Reasons)

Breakups are part of dating, but they sure aren’t fun. When two people decide to call it quits, there’s usually a good reason, or a few. But what really makes couples go from lovey-dovey to signing off? It’s not always simple to figure out.

In this article, we’re about to look at why things fall apart, from the small stuff that adds up to the big deal-breakers that you just can’t get past. This is your guide to understanding why some stories don’t have the happy ending we all hope for.

So, are you ready to get into the real reasons people break up? Let’s see what’s up.

Lack of Communication

When couples don’t talk much, they start having problems. If you’re not sharing your feelings or what’s happening in your life, you both end up guessing. And let’s face it, guessing can lead to some pretty wild and incorrect ideas.

Good communication means you’re working as a team, not playing solo. Without it, even the strongest relationships can start to fall apart.

A few things to consider:

  • Talking helps you understand each other.
  • Without clear chats, small problems can blow up.
  • Sharing your highs and lows brings you closer.
"A healthy couple communicates with each other no matter what the situation is. When communication starts to break, a lot of areas in your relationship will also start to crumble."

Celia Schweyer | Dating Expert at DatingScout

Cheating or Infidelity

Cheating means breaking the relationship’s rules. It’s about going behind your partner’s back and being with someone else. This hurts a lot because it breaks trust and makes you feel betrayed.

It’s also a sign that something’s not right. Cheating can change everything in a relationship, and not many people can bounce back from that.

"Maybe there’s someone else in the picture. This can definitely be unexpected. It can also be avoided sometimes by paying attention to your red flags. If a person has a history and reputation — it is for a reason."

Rori Sassoon | Relationship and Dating Expert | Co-owner of Platinum Poire

Lack of Trust

Without trust, you’re always second-guessing what the other person is doing or thinking.

Trust is what makes you feel safe and secure. If it’s missing, the relationship is on shaky ground. You need it to rely on each other. Without trust, you just can’t have a healthy relationship.

"Another reason couples break up is when they can no longer work out a relationship that has low trust levels. A relationship that has experienced cheating and other problems that may have caused one of them to question everything they believed in about their partner is bound to fall apart."

Celia Schweyer | Dating Expert at DatingScout

Constant Arguing

Arguing all the time can really wear people out. It’s not just about the big stuff; even the little disagreements can start to feel like a big deal. When arguments keep happening, it’s often because there’s something deeper that’s not being fixed or dealt with.

These fights can leave both people feeling pretty lousy, and nobody wants to stick around for that. If all you’re doing is fighting, it’s hard to see the good in each other and the relationship.

Lost Interest or Feelings Changed

Sometimes, the spark just fades. People change over time, and the things that brought them together might not be enough to keep them that way. It’s not anyone’s fault — it’s just life.

Losing interest can make hanging out together feel more like a chore than something to look forward to. When the feelings aren’t there anymore, people might decide it’s better to go their separate ways.

What it looks like:

  • Less enthusiasm about spending time together.
  • Choosing activities alone rather than as a couple.
  • Fewer conversations about future plans together.

Incompatible Life Goals

Think about where you’re heading in life. Now, think about where your partner’s heading. If those directions don’t match up, you’ve got a problem.

Maybe one of you dreams of traveling the world while the other wants to settle down and start a family. Big life goals are important, and if they don’t line up, it’s tough to make the relationship work.

Lack of Intimacy

Intimacy is more than just being close in bed; it’s about feeling connected. When that connection fades, a couple can start to feel lonely, even when they’re together.

It’s not just about physical stuff — intimacy also means sharing secrets, laughing at inside jokes, and just getting each other.

Without that closeness, partners can feel like they’re just roommates. And let me tell you, feeling alone when you’re with someone is a weird kind of sad.

Different Family Plans (e.g., Wanting Children vs. Not)

So, let’s talk about kids and family. If one of you is dead set on building a big, bustling family and the other isn’t, you’ve got yourself a giant roadblock. It’s a big deal, and it’s not something you can easily compromise on.

These kinds of differences can be deal-breakers because they’re about how you see your future. It’s tough to stay together if you don’t want the same things in life.

Abusive Behavior

This one’s serious — no one should ever put up with abusive behavior. It’s not just about getting physically hurt; it can also be about mean words and mind games.

Abuse takes away your happiness and self-worth, and that’s not what love is about.

People who face abuse often find the courage to leave, which is the best thing for them. Being safe and respected is a must in any relationship.

Addiction Issues

When someone in a relationship has an addiction, it can take over everything. It’s not just about the person struggling with addiction; their partner feels the chaos, too.

Addiction can mean drugs, alcohol, gambling, or anything that becomes an unhealthy focus. It eats up time, money, and emotional energy. And when addiction is in the driver’s seat, the relationship often gets kicked to the backseat.

Example: Your partner’s gaming addiction escalated to the point where he spent entire weekends glued to his computer screen, ignoring his family. You felt more like a single parent, struggling to keep the family afloat financially and emotionally.

Job or Career Pressures

Jobs are important, no doubt. But when work stress starts piling up, it can spill over into home life. Sometimes, one person’s career takes off, leaving the other feeling stuck or forgotten.

Big work commitments can mean less time for each other. And let’s face it: when the late nights at the office outdo the date nights, relationships can go a bit wonky.

Long Distance Challenges

Long distance is like being in the same book but on different pages. Sure, video calls and texting help, but it’s not the same as being able to hang out in person.

The distance can make you feel lonely and sometimes even disconnected. It also means you miss out on a lot of everyday stuff, which can be tougher than it sounds.

Feeling Unappreciated

Feeling like you’re not valued is a real bummer in any relationship. It’s when you’re doing your best, but your partner doesn’t seem to notice or care.

Over time, this can leave you feeling down and less willing to make an effort.

Everyone wants to feel like their hard work and care are being recognized. If that appreciation is missing, it’s easy to feel like giving up and moving on.

What it looks like:

  • One partner is always doing household chores without help or thanks.
  • One person continually makes relationship decisions without acknowledging the other’s input.
  • Compliments or expressions of gratitude are rare or absent.
"The second that your partner feels that you do not value them, especially a man, he may feel emasculated. Value your partner, build them up and support their dreams and goals."

Rori Sassoon | Relationship and Dating Expert | Co-owner of Platinum Poire

Life Transitions (e.g., Moving, New Jobs)

Big changes like moving cities or starting new jobs can test any relationship. These transitions mean adjusting to new situations and new people. Change isn’t easy, and when both people are trying to find their feet, they can drift apart.

Life transitions require patience and sticking together, but sometimes, the strain is just too much. If a couple isn’t ready to weather those changes, they could end up saying goodbye.

Cultural or Religious Differences

Different cultural or religious backgrounds bring diversity to a relationship. But they can also bring challenges if not handled with care. Traditions, values, and beliefs might clash, and finding a middle ground takes work.

When even the small everyday things highlight those differences, it can be hard to build a life together. Understanding and respect are key, but if that’s missing, it might just be too hard to stay on the same path.

Pressure from Family or Friends

Dealing with disapproval from family or friends about your relationship is really hard. It can feel like they’re pushing you to make a tough choice. This kind of pressure can create a lot of stress for a couple.

Outside tension can cause you to question whether you’re with the right person. It’s exhausting when your loved ones don’t support your choice of partner.

Growing Apart Over Time

As time passes, people naturally change, and sometimes they develop different interests and goals. If you don’t find new common ground, you might start to feel like you’re not a good match anymore.

Growing in different directions can make you feel disconnected from each other. Sometimes, this can lead a couple to decide they’re better off going their separate ways.

Example: A couple that has grown apart might find they don’t enjoy the same things anymore, which can lead them to feel like they’re better off apart.

"People are constantly changing and evolving. No one really stays the same... Instead of growing together, you grow apart from each other. You realize that the person you are now isn't the same person who fell in love with your partner. Now, you might have different priorities, views on things, and more."

Celia Schweyer | Dating Expert at DatingScout

Differences in Financial Handling

Differences in how each person views money can lead to conflict. When one likes to save, and the other enjoys spending, it’s a recipe for disagreement. Disputes often arise over both the small daily expenditures and the larger financial goals.

Consistent financial disagreements can add stress to a relationship and can lead to bigger issues. Finding a middle ground on financial habits is essential for a harmonious relationship.

It might look like:

  • Arguments about excessive spending or saving excessively.
  • Struggling with debt or having different financial priorities.
  • One partner feeling burdened by managing most or all of the financial responsibilities.

Health Issues

When someone is dealing with health problems, it can really change a relationship. Both people might feel scared and unsure about the future. The partner who is sick might need a lot of care, which can be hard on the other person.

Sometimes, the stress and worry are too much for the relationship to handle. If both partners aren’t prepared to deal with the challenges that come with illness, they might decide to break up.

Poor Conflict Resolution

No one likes to argue, but it’s even worse when you can’t fix problems afterward. Some couples fight and then hold grudges instead of working things out. If you don’t learn how to talk after a fight and make things right, the same issues will keep coming up.

Over time, this can wear both people down, and they might prefer to break up rather than keep fighting. Working together to solve disagreements is really crucial to a lasting relationship.

Unrealistic Expectations

Sometimes, people have a fairy-tale idea of romance that’s hard to live up to. If one person expects too much, the other can feel like they’re always falling short. This pressure can make a relationship feel more stressful than supportive.

Without realistic expectations, disappointment can crop up a lot. When someone always feels let down, they might think it’s better to be on their own.

Example: A relationship can struggle if one person is expecting grand gestures all the time while the other is just trying to get through the day — it’s a mismatch that can lead to problems.


Boredom happens when everything becomes too routine, and you both stop trying new things together. Day after day, if things never change, you both might start feeling stuck.

Without excitement or new experiences, you can lose the fun part of being with each other. If a couple doesn’t shake things up now and then, one or both might want to leave and find excitement elsewhere.

Constant Criticism

No one likes to be told they’re doing everything wrong. When one partner is always criticizing the other, it can get really draining.

It’s tough to feel good about yourself or your relationship when you’re always hearing negative stuff. It can lead to a lot of fights and hurt feelings. Constant criticism can make love fade away, and sometimes, the only way to feel better is to walk away.

Example: If your partner’s nickname for you has become “Oops” because that’s how they respond to everything you do, it’s no surprise you might start feeling more caged than cared for.

Lack of Personal Space

Everyone needs some space to themselves, even in a relationship. If one person feels crowded or like they can’t do anything without their partner, it’s suffocating.

Having time to yourself is important for relaxing and doing your own thing. Without it, you can start to lose touch with who you are outside of the relationship. Too little space can push a person towards wanting to break free altogether.

Here are a few things to consider:

  • Alone time is healthy and normal.
  • Having different interests and some separate friends is good.
  • Being able to do your own thing makes the time you spend together even better.

Control Issues

When one partner tries to call all the shots in a relationship, that’s a control issue. It can make the other person feel like they don’t have a say in anything.

Relationships are about teamwork, and when it’s lopsided, it’s not fun for anyone. If one person feels too controlled, they might pack their bags and say, “No more!”

For instance, when you can’t even choose the channel without a debate, you start to feel like you’re in a game show that you never signed up for — it’s exhausting!

Jealous Behavior

Jealousy is like a little green monster that sometimes pops up in relationships. It’s normal to feel it sometimes, but too much can be toxic. When jealousy starts driving actions and causing fights, it’s a big problem.

Trust is important, and without it, jealousy can have you questioning every little thing. If things don’t change, the one who’s always being doubted might walk away for good.

Personality Clashes

Sometimes, no matter how much you like someone, your personalities just don’t click. You might be laid back while they’re super organized and a planner.

These differences can lead to frustration on both sides. It’s like you’re both speaking different languages, even if you’re saying, “I love you.” When you don’t mesh well, staying together can be more of a struggle than it’s worth.

Example: Your partner loved social gatherings and was always the life of the party, while you preferred chill evenings. Your conflicting social needs led to dissatisfaction and arguments, making your relationship difficult to maintain.

Different Interests and Hobbies

It’s natural for people in a relationship to like different things. But if your interests are worlds apart, it can sometimes leave you feeling like you’re living separate lives.

Sure, you don’t have to share every hobby, but having some common activities can bring you closer.

If you’re always doing your own thing, it gets harder to connect and share experiences. And if one person feels left out or bored too often, they might start looking for a partner who shares their passions.

Past Baggage

Everyone comes with a history. Old issues from previous relationships can sometimes interfere with the current one. If someone hasn’t dealt with their past, it’s like they’re dragging a suitcase full of troubles into the present.

It can be tough on a new partner if they always have to hear about or compete with the ghosts of exes. If past baggage keeps popping up, it might be a sign to take a break and sort through those old feelings alone.

What it looks like:

  • Overreacting to situations because they remind one partner of past hurt.
  • Difficulty in trusting the partner, despite their honesty.
  • Bringing up past conflicts in current arguments.

Lack of Support During Tough Times

Life can throw some curveballs, and it’s during those tough times that support from a partner really counts. Whether it’s stress from work, family issues, or personal struggles, facing it alone can be really tough.

A partner not being there when you need them can hurt — a lot. When one feels they’re dealing with life’s rough patches alone, the thought of being single might actually seem easier.

"Both people in a relationship need to nurture themselves so that they can, in turn, nurture each other and a life together."

Jessica Emery, J.D. LL.M. | Family Mediator and Attorney, The Emery Law Firm

Prioritizing Friends or Family Over Partner

If your partner spends more time with friends or family than with you, you might start to feel like you’re not that special to them. It’s normal to hang out with other people, but your partner should be just as important.

If this happens a lot, you might feel left out or less loved. A good relationship is when you and your partner spend enough time together, too. If someone feels like they’re always the backup plan, they might end things to find someone who makes them feel #1.

Example: If you’re always waiting for your partner to be free because they’re busy with others, it can make you wonder if you’re just an afterthought.

Changes in Physical Appearance

People’s looks change, and it shouldn’t be a big deal, but sometimes it is. Major changes might get in the way of how much you’re attracted to each other. It could be anything, like gaining weight or dressing differently, and it might affect how you both feel.

If the attraction starts to go away because of these changes, it might lead to a breakup. Sometimes, people split up if they don’t feel that physical spark anymore.

Lack of Shared Vision of the Future

If you and your partner don’t see your future together in the same way, you might end up going separate ways. Both of you should be excited when you talk about what’s ahead!

If you want different things in life, like where you’ll live or if you want kids, that can make things tense. You want to feel like you’re both going in the same direction with your relationship. If it feels like you’re not, it might be time to break up.

Getting Together at a Young Age

When couples get together young, they might break up because they change a lot as they grow up. They might find that what they wanted back then isn’t what they want now. Sometimes, growing up means growing in different directions.

Being with someone from a young age can sometimes make you wonder about life with other people. If you met when you were really young, you might not stay the perfect match over time.

Example: A couple who met in high school might feel different about each other after a few years. They’ve changed, and sometimes that means they don’t work as a couple anymore.

Stress from Parenting

Parenting makes it tough to find time for each other when kids take up so much energy and attention. Parents often argue about how to raise their kids, and this can cause a lot of fights.

If you’re not on the same team, the stress from parenting can make you both fed up. Sometimes, if the stress gets too much, it can lead to a breakup.

Consider the following:

  • Make sure to support each other as parents.
  • Find some time to be a couple, not just parents.
  • Work together when you make decisions about the kids.

Differences in Sexual Compatibility

Sex is an important part of most relationships. If your sex drive or what you like is different, it can be hard to feel happy together. It’s not easy to talk about, but not talking can make things worse.

If you don’t feel connected in your sex life, it can spill over into other areas of your relationship. Sometimes, if the differences are too big, it might lead to people breaking up.

For instance, if one partner is always ready for romance and the other is usually too tired, it can cause hurt feelings and a lot of awkwardness. If it keeps happening, one of you might decide it’s not working out.

"Marriage is cemented in bed. Being compatible sexually is a very important need that can make or break a relationship."

Rori Sassoon | Relationship and Dating Expert | Co-owner of Platinum Poire

Impact of Social Media

Social media can mess with relationships a lot:

  • Seeing other people’s perfect photos can make you unhappy with your own love life.
  • Some get jealous over who their partner is chatting with.
  • Some get jealous over what they’re ‘liking’ online.

Spending too much time on your phone can also mean you’re not really present with your partner. Too many fights about social media can lead to a breakup if you don’t figure out how to handle it.

Not Feeling Heard

If you’re sharing your feelings and your partner ignores them, it can make you feel like you don’t matter. It’s frustrating when they frequently interrupt or talk over you during conversations.

When your thoughts and feelings are overlooked, you might start to feel like you’re better off alone. Good communication means listening, and without it, a relationship can crumble.

A few things to consider:

  • Listening to each other is just as important as talking.
  • Feeling understood is a key part of being happy together.
  • If someone feels ignored, they’re more likely to leave.

Lack of Commitment

Feeling like your partner isn’t really in it for the long haul can be worrying. If they’re not ready to think about the future, it can leave you feeling insecure. Not being committed can mean not making plans together or being afraid to take the next step.

When you’re ready for more, and they aren’t, it can feel like you’re on different paths. If one person doesn’t want to commit, the other might decide to move on instead of wasting their time.

Too Much Time Apart

Being apart too often can make you feel disconnected from each other. Maybe one of you travels a lot for work or you have different hobbies that take up a bunch of time.

This distance can make sharing your daily lives tough. It’s like you live in the same world but in different time zones. And when the gap gets too big, you find your lives no longer intertwine.

Thoughts to ponder:

  • Try to find ways to connect even when you’re not together.
  • Quality time needs to be a priority for both of you.
  • If you’re always apart, ask yourselves why that’s happening and if you’re okay with it.

Changing Political or Social Views

If your views on big issues like politics or social justice don’t line up, it can create tension. These aren’t just small talk — they’re about your core beliefs and values.

When you start seeing things really differently, finding common ground gets harder. It can lead to a lot of debates and feeling like your partner just doesn’t get you. And when these differences get too wide, they can end up pushing you apart enough to break up.

Mental Health Issues

Mental health is super important, and if it’s not taken care of, it can take a toll on your relationship. If one partner is struggling and doesn’t get help, both of you can suffer. It’s draining, and it can change the way you treat each other.

Everyone deserves support, but sometimes the strain is just too much. It’s okay to want a partner who takes care of their mental health, and you might decide to leave if things don’t improve.

Example: Your partner’s untreated anxiety made her extremely reliant on you for daily functioning and social interactions. You felt unable to cope with the increasing pressure and missed your earlier, more balanced relationship.

Lack of Mutual Respect

Disrespect in your relationship is a big red flag. It’s about more than just manners; it’s feeling valued by your partner. If one of you constantly dismisses the other’s feelings, opinions, or needs, that’s not showing respect.

This can lead to feeling unimportant and undervalued, which wears down love over time. Ending a relationship can sometimes feel like the only way to regain your self-respect if it keeps being stepped on.

For instance, it feels really bad to share your thoughts only to have your partner roll their eyes or laugh it off.

Feeling Smothered or Clingy

When your partner wants to be with you 24/7, it gets really overwhelming. Sure, it’s great to feel wanted, but there’s a line.

Being too clingy can push your partner away because everyone needs a little space. Sometimes, people end up breaking up because they just need to breathe and be themselves.

Example: When even a quick trip to the store turns into a “Why didn’t you invite me?” moment, it feels like there’s no room to stretch your arms.

Lack of Fun and Excitement

All relationships need some fun and laughter. If things get too serious all the time, the excitement that once pulled you together can fade away.

People often break up because they miss that buzz — everyone wants a bit of sparkle, not just the “same old, same old.” Without fun times, a couple might feel like their relationship has turned into just going through the motions.

Example: If your big weekend plans often involve cleaning the bathroom, it’s no surprise when one of you starts to feel trapped in a rut. If that rut gets too deep, climbing out solo might be the next step.

Not Feeling Supported in Personal Growth

In healthy relationships, both people help each other grow. If your partner doesn’t cheer you on or dismisses your goals, it’s really disheartening. When you’re chasing a dream, having your partner’s backing means the world.

If they’re not giving that support, or worse, if they’re holding you back, it strains the relationship. People sometimes break up because they need a partner who believes in them and their potential.

Example: When you’re excited about a promotion and all you get from your partner is a “That’s nice,” it stings. A lot.

Excerpts From the Experts

“People break up for a multitude of different reasons, but the main things I see in my office are differences in values on sex, money, and morals.

When two people come together, they tend to have different views and opinions on these three topics. If couples cannot find common ground and are unbending in any one of these areas, it can deeply damage the entire relationship.

What it comes down to is good communication and flexibility but also not being pushed beyond what is okay for each individual.

If communication breaks down, the couple will break up. The couples who are friends as much as lovers seem to be more adaptable to each other.

Dr. Sherrie Campbell | Clinical Psychologist | Inspirational Speaker | Author, But It’s Your Family: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath

“Relationships fail when partners do not feel heard, seen, respected, valued, appreciated, or loved.

  • Each partner must feel like what they say matters.
  • Each partner must feel like they are seen and cherished, valued, and appreciated.
  • Each partner must feel respected.
  • Each partner must feel that they matter and are deeply loved.

If a partner begins to doubt their significance within the partnership, they may begin to question the need for the relationship at all. A relationship is meant to be a safe place to land. If you feel worse inside of the relationship than outside of it, the relationship will surely fail.”

Christine Scott-Hudson, MA, MFT, ATR | Licensed Psychotherapist | Somatic Therapist | Owner of Create Your Life Studio

“When one partner is committed to growth, and the other partner isn’t, you have a couple that grows apart. What sets in? Boredom, differences, and, in the worst cases, no respect. If your values no longer align, you may be doomed.”

“If you have done everything you can do (within reason) to make your relationship work and you are not happy with “the person that you’ve become” while you’re with this person, it can be obvious that it’s time to move on.

With the right partner, you will love who you become, you will be energized and feel like you can take on the world.”

Rori Sassoon | Relationship and Dating Expert | Co-owner of Platinum Poire

“The triggers we experience due to our partner’s actions or words are wholly ours. No matter how much we would prefer to say that the actions of our partners are at fault, it is much more correct to examine how and why we are triggered by the action.

This is the reason most relationships don’t work. If one or all the people within the relationship are unwilling to grow, change, and take responsibility for themselves, a relationship cannot continue, nor should it.”

MartinJon Garcia | Recovery Coach and Mentor

“Day by day, you notice little things about your relationship that no longer excite you. You value time apart more than time together.

Furthermore, you have sacrificed passions that once defined you in order to keep your relationship afloat. Something inside you slowly drains away, and you wonder how you will ever climb out of the pit of negativity and exhaustion.

Many people are unaware or in denial of the loss of their happiness, a key factor in a relationship, and flounder in bickering, resentment, and dissatisfaction.”

Justin Lavelle | Chief Communications Director for BeenVerified

Frequently Asked Questions

Is there something I can do to prevent a breakup?

Communication is key. Open and honest discussions about feelings and concerns can help a lot. Also, addressing problems directly, spending quality time together, showing appreciation, and seeking mutually satisfying compromises are important.

Remember, it takes both people committed to the relationship to prevent a breakup.

Can a breakup actually be a good thing for a relationship?

Absolutely. Sometimes, a breakup can give both individuals the space they need to grow. It can be a wake-up call that leads to self-reflection and, eventually, personal development.

If they come back together, their relationship can be stronger than before. Or, they might find that being apart is what’s best for them.

How do you recognize when a relationship is just going through a tough phase rather than leading to a breakup?

Relationships have ups and downs. A tough phase is often marked by situations that both of you are willing to work through together. If you can both see a future together and are actively trying to get past the hard times, it could just be a phase.

However, if the issues are ongoing and there’s no effort to change or resolve them, it might be headed for a breakup.

Should we stay together for the kids, even if we’re not happy?

Staying together just for the kids can sometimes do more harm than good. Children are often very perceptive and may pick up on the unhappiness between their parents.

It’s important to consider the quality of the home environment. Two separately happy homes could be healthier than one unhappy home.

How can you recover and move on after a breakup?

Give yourself time to grieve and process your emotions. Reach out to friends and family for support. You might also consider professional help, like a therapist.

Stay active, pick up new hobbies, or learn new things. Gradually, as you focus on personal growth, you’ll find that moving on becomes easier.

Final Thoughts

We’ve covered a lot about why breakups happen. It’s part of dating and being close to someone.

The main thing is to understand why it happened and what you can learn from it. Then, when you’re ready, consider what you want in your next relationship.

If you’re hurting right now, remember these lessons for the future. Your next relationship could be the best one you’ve ever had!

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Jessa Claire is a registered healthcare provider. Music lover. Daydreamer. Thalassophile. Foodie. A hardworking Capricorn. Most days, an incurable empath. An old soul. Down-to-earth. Vibrant.

When she's not writing, she can be seen relaxing with headphones on or engrossed in her favorite fan fiction book.