Why is Self Esteem Important?

We live in a time when there are standards for everything.

Self-esteem is more crucial now than ever.

Hence, we asked 29 experts  “Why is self-esteem important?

Let’s take a look at their top insights.

Kim Olver, LCPC, NCC, BCC

Kim Olver

Licensed Professional Counselor | National Certified Counselor | Board Certified Coach

Genuine self-esteem is everything.

Self-esteem represents the value you place on yourself.

It is important to remember all humans have equal value and worth – a doctor is no more important than the person who cleans his instruments. Without them, the patient could die from infection.

A pilot is no more important than the mechanic who does his engine checks prior to flight. Without those checks, many souls could perish.

However, as individuals, we are destined to compare ourselves to others and find ourselves lacking, almost every time.

When you compare to others, remember you are comparing to an illusion – the public selves others allow you to see.

You can never know the secret, personal life of another.

Focus on you and how you think, feel and behave toward yourself.

Do you treat yourself like the treasure you are or do you berate yourself for every little thing, real or imagined, that showcases your flaws?

Having healthy self-esteem allows you to:

  1. Stand for what you believe.
  2. Negotiate for what you want.
  3. Enforce your boundaries.
  4. Develop healthy, supportive relationships.
  5. Follow your passion.
  6. Have the confidence to take calculated risks.
  7. Look in the mirror and love what you see.

If you want to begin focusing on increasing your self-esteem, your first step needs to be tuning in to what your heart whispers to you, while filtering out the loud sounds of what others say through the filters of how close they are with you, how much you trust and respect them, and how much what they are saying is aligned with what your heart is whispering.

I mentioned “genuine” self-esteem to contrast it with arrogance.

When people believe they are better than other people and need to put others down to feel good about themselves, this is not genuine self-esteem. This is poor self-esteem disguised as confidence.

Dr. Sal Raichbach PsyD, LCSW

Dr. Sal Raichbach PsyD, LCSW

Licensed Psychologist at Ambrosia Treatment Center

There is a strong connection between mental illness and having poor self-esteem.

This is especially true with disorders like depression and anxiety, as low self-esteem can function as both a cause and a symptom.

Individuals with poor self-worth lack a defense against the environmental and physiological causes of mental illness.

Negative self-perceptions can trigger mental health symptoms while simultaneously making them worse.

That opens the door for behavioral problems, like isolation and substance abuse. These problems can easily creep up and take over a person’s life when they feel incapable of getting better.

People that suffer from poor self-esteem also tend to be less determined and resilient when faced with hardship.

That can make seeking help for mental health issues difficult. When a person feels they are not worthy of a good life, they have trouble seeing the value of getting treatment.

As a result, unchecked symptoms get worse, and the individual continues to spiral downwards.

Patrick Di Vietri, LPC, NCC

Patrick Di Vietri, LPC, NCC

Director of Therapy Services

Self-esteem is important because it has a profound impact on an individual’s outlook on life and how they carry themselves.

If someone has a good sense of self, then they are more willing to put themselves out there and that is when the biggest rewards can occur.

If someone doesn’t feel good about themselves then there is a very real scenario where they are prisoners of their own negative self-talk and never put themselves out there in situations and would prefer to hide in the shadows of life, just getting by unnoticed.

Individuals who are self-confident have a sense of stability to themselves that attracts others to them.

A self-confident individual is more likely to be a leader and a motivator than an individual who is lacking in self-confidence.

Brittany Fagan, LCSW, EAS-C, CTF-CBT, CAMS-II

Brittany Danielle

Founder, B. Danielle Counseling & Coaching | Therapist | Coach | Speaker

Regardless of the presenting concern or issue of my clients, self-esteem is always hindered.

There is an identifiable weakness in their relationship with themselves. Their negative self-talk stagnates the process towards emotional and mental healing.

Rebuilding self-esteem has been the key to treating my clients successfully and maintaining their treatment gains, as well as coaching them towards more self-satisfying lives.

Having positive self-esteem allowed them to set and meet goals, be more content, feel more self-confident, build better relationships, become less self-critical, develop self-compassion, and have radical acceptance.

All of our experiences filter through our self-esteem, changing our view of ourselves and within the world around us.

Those experiences dictate our set of core beliefs about ourselves, whether positive or negative, ultimately influencing our self-worth.

Without positive self-esteem, we have self-doubt, negative thinking, lack of purpose, inability to identify and use our strengths, poor decision making, low self-worth, and a skewed perception of reality.

With such a negative mindset, having a level of contentment or happiness within your life is difficult.

Also, there can be an absence of clear thinking, hopefulness or positive decision making to deal with life stress, interpersonal relationships, and daily functioning.

Once self-esteem is improved, there is internal motivation, purposefulness, and intentional actions to live a self-gratifying life.

In addition, self-esteem promotes optimism, a feeling of security, and internal peace. So we cannot overlook the importance of maintaining healthy self-esteem, as our self-esteem is constantly altered daily.

Having an ongoing self-compassionate relationship with yourself helps to maintain healthy self-esteem that can weather the storms of life, as well as shine bright irrespective of the darkness.

Lisa M. Brazelton

Lisa M. Brazelton

Managing Partner | CEO, Sage Prosperity Partners

I term Self-esteem as “Inner Confidence; the quiet knowing of one’s worth, in self-reflected truth and unwavering belief.

Inner confidence stems from our intuition, which is our innate ability to hear our internal compass.

Our internal compass is not our “chatter box” mind, our subconscious; the repository of endless stimulus tapes derived from instincts and learned experiences.

Intuition resides in our heart space, and some call this space “gut instinct”. Its messages are wisdom and arrive above our thoughts.

This is why many people cannot explain intuition in words, as much as in feelings or sensations.

Self-esteem is important as a function of human survival.

We cannot live without self-esteem because it is connected to our physiology, chemical balance, self-image, emotional stability and greater understanding of who we are. It is the cornerstone for being greater than our circumstances and pushing through obstacles.

Self-esteem promotes growth and sustenance.

We all have the ability to possess self-esteem, and it should resonate in all aspects of life.

When we master “inner confidence“, we successfully navigate the tricky minefield of emotions especially in a collective field of energy at work, at school and with family.

How to Deepen Self Esteem

We gain inner confidence by being aware of our surroundings, by being aware of our thoughts and actions, our influences and programs we project out into the world.

Since our past experiences are sitting in our subconscious mind, it is very difficult to be aware of old programs, which keep us in self-defeating thoughts.

How do we deepen self-esteem in life depends on the accountability we want to take for the “chatterbox” running in our heads.

Many people associate confidence with performance, measurement and external recognition of an achieved goal such as weight loss, physical appearance, project completions, fulfilled revenue goals, a promotion, financial rewards, etc.).

But confidence doesn’t always magically appear at the end of a goal, whether achieved or not.

Self-esteem comes from setting an intention and placing our attention on it, allowing creative visualization, motivation, and enthusiasm to fuel our actions.

The intention behind our goals is deeply important to the manifestation of such goals. When an intention is fulfilled, self-esteem grows because we feel good, as if something shifted inside us and we are forever changed.

Ways to Deepen Self Esteem


Being true to yourself means deciding what is important to you and finding your resilience to blossom and grow.

Confidence comes from laying out a strategic plan and deciding what specific actions you will take today. Following through on those actions and recognizing your perseverance while staying in a place that feels good, are key to growing your confidence.


This means taking a little time at the end of the day to sit with yourself and feel good about your efforts.

Nobel Peace Prize winner Albert Schweitzer suggests, “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”


No one is forcing you to achieve the goal you’ve set for yourself.

You alone decide if you want to expand your life experiences or not. Your intentions are the vehicle through which allow yourself to have what you want and feel good in the process.

Intentions are a solo act, and you alone are the “allower” or “disallower” of what you want.


Every time you make a decision during the day, ask yourself this question, “Does this choice bring me closer to or further from my goal?”

If the answer is “closer to,” then you’ve made a decision to allow yourself to be successful.

If the answer is “further from,” notice how that feels.

Decide what choice can make you feel better, more alive and expansive.


If you didn’t make the daily choice to support yourself in your goal, decide if you want to develop a new potential solution or re-evaluate what you want.

If your goal no longer holds any attraction for you, then let it go. Intentional goal setting should bring you pleasure, satisfaction and a sense of achievement.


Every time you allow yourself to take a step in the direction of what you want also take the time to celebrate, otherwise, what’s the point?

Life is about how good you can allow yourself to feel from the inside out, and setting a goal is the process to feel better inside as you recognize the power of your own self.


Realize you have the ability to get from where you are to wherever you want to be.

You are the designer of your life. You alone hold the key to your success.

In an infinite world of potential, it’s vitally important to allow life to show up in magical ways and releasing the need to control outcomes (or people).

Delight in the small, unexpected gifts that come your way.


Lasting self-confidence comes when we no longer choose fear and self-criticism as methods for motivation.

Instead, come to realize it is your job to focus on what you want by creating a fertile area for your desire to grow.

You always receive what you think about most; thinking negatively about yourself or others will accelerate experiences to match that time and time again.


Being in a state of gratitude is being in a state of receivership.

It makes us feel better when we feel grateful for life, even if they are small and seemingly insignificant gifts. Being grateful heightens inner confidence because it feels good to send and receive appreciation. It is the quickest way to manifest intentions and find peace inside.


Self-esteem derives from consciously shifting negative, self-defeating thoughts to the kind, loving voice of our intuition.

When we embrace our uniqueness and commit to being responsible for our own feelings, our own goals, and our own choices, then we do not need approval from anyone to know our own self-worth.

In the end, self-love is the ultimate driver to freedom.

Loving our self-creates a magnificent glow from the inside out, and the intentions we set forth will manifest as our belief increases.

Even if it is difficult to embrace, we are worth being here, in this body, in this life, and our choices for how we think and feel determine who we really are, and how we want to experience life.

Brittainy Wagner

Brittainy Wagner

Mental Health Therapist

Self-esteem is important because it essentially determines the majority of important aspects of our lives: our successes, our relationships, our careers.

More specifically, our worth can affect how much we do or don’t accomplish in our lives and can impact the quality of our relationships and whether we surround ourselves with healthy relationships, meaning relationships with mutual respect, empathy, and compassion for one another or if we gravitate towards relationships that are riddled with disrespect, and oftentimes surround ourselves with people who are takers, treat us disrespectfully, take advantage of us and/or take us for granted.

Folks who have low self-esteem tend to accomplish less because either their anxiety of never being good enough takes up a lot of headspaces and slows or halts their progress on their life goals or causes them to avoid taking action altogether for fear of failing or not being good enough.

The way I conceptualize, our self-esteem is like a force field we carry around with us and can be a constant barometer of measuring our areas of growth and our successes.

Folks with low self-esteem, pin their worth on other’s opinions or what is going on in their life currently (good or bad).

The problem in doing so is people’s opinions can change, one person’s opinion can differ from the next, and our circumstances can change in the blink of an eye.

Talk about mixed messages and confusion!

This can create a snowball effect if we pin our worth on variables that change, it only adds to self-doubt, which makes us then question our worth, we then look for evidence that we are worthy/unworthy from external sources, and when we continue to get mixed messages, it heightens the doubt.

Thus, if we have high self-esteem we have a way to gather input about ourselves and make changes accordingly from a source that isn’t so labile, thus creating a solid foundation for our relationships and our futures.

Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali

Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Self-esteem is the very thing that tells you your worth in the world.

It’s like the little cricket that tells you which way to go. If you have high self-esteem, the little voice tells you that you can bounce back, you’re capable and that you deserve to be treated wonderfully.

When your self-esteem is low, the voice tells you that you’re worthless, you’re lucky that people even choose to talk to you and that you probably won’t achieve much.

Your thoughts are very important.

So important that they affect your feelings about yourself, as well as how you behave. So if your thoughts (fueled by your self-esteem) tell you that you’re no good, those thoughts will spark feelings of shame, sadness and maybe hurt.

Those feelings will lead you to walk with your head drooping down, to hang out with people who disrespect you, to date losers who don’t know your true worth and even to become a people pleaser.

Your self-esteem can make a big impact on your physical and emotional health.

Poor self-esteem can trigger depression, anxiety, and stress reactions. Poor self-esteem also blocks one’s ability to create helpful boundaries.

Thus, you might end up hanging out with abusive and unhealthy people. Low self-esteem will lead to putting up a front, instead of standing in your truth and your identity.

It could also lead to poor performance in school or on the job. In extreme cases, low self-esteem could lead to criminal behavior. Many people going gangs because they seek a sense of belonging that they couldn’t find within.

A person with high self-esteem thinks that he or she is worthwhile, just as good as everyone else and they can achieve highly.

When you love, respect and honor yourself, you are more able to bounce back when life throws curve balls your way.

So in essence, your self-esteem will affect the way you view yourself, the way you view others, your physical and emotional health, as well as your level of resiliency.

Sonya Zappone RYT, C.MI, C.LAC

Sonya Zappone

Life Coach | Yoga & Meditation Teacher | Author

To have self-esteem, first, you have to have a strong sense of self.

We are not totally born with this. Self-esteem has to be developed.

We have to get to know ourselves. We have to become strong in who we are to feel authentic. This is an inner journey. A journey to ourselves.

With good self-esteem we do the following naturally:

  • We self-protect.
  • We self-preserve.
  • We self-partner.
  • We self-express.

We become self-confident in ourselves – with ourselves- when we know who we truly are.

As a life coach, I have been helping women get to know themselves and grow strong.

From that starting point, they develop a sense of self-respect from which all their life decisions are made. My clients come home to themselves, instead of being “other-focused.” They are more confident, vibrant, happy, and exuded self-respect.

Be you and change the world!

Katie Ziskind

Katie Ziskind

Experiential Family Therapist

Self-esteem is something that develops on a personal level throughout our entire lives.

Self-esteem allows you to refuse your inner critic and develop a healthy inner voice.

Self-esteem development can help you build a valuable toolbox of tactics such as positive affirmations and positive self-talk to help you through difficult times.

Self-esteem allows you to let go of the negative comments that you’ve told yourself and that you’ve heard over your life and see perspective, that you are doing a great job and accomplishing a lot every day.

Self-esteem allows you to see your physical traits, live a vibrant life, and love and accept yourself for the way you are.

Self-esteem provides you with an internal code of ethics that provide you with a backbone so people don’t take advantage of you.

Self-esteem can be increased through exercise, yoga, and practicing activities that allow you to truly care about yourself and remember that you are worthy of love and respect.

Self-esteem allows you to step away from being aggressive and passive-aggressive, and instead assertive.

If you have low self-esteem, you may have the inner thought that you are the black sheep, not good enough, and don’t even deserve complements when people give them to you.

Instead, by developing self-esteem, you’ll develop hope for your bright future and self-confidence.

Emily Cosgrove, LMFT

Emily Cosgrove

Licensed Marriage|Family therapist and Life Coach

The way you view yourself has a ripple effect on the other areas of your life which in turn reflects that struggle back not just to yourself but to others around you.

For example, when you struggle with low self-esteem you may feel unsuccessful in relationships, work, and life in general.

You may feel depressed, anxious, overwhelmed or underwhelmed.

You’ve had one bad relationship after another, you’re constantly comparing yourself to others in everything or you keep getting passed up for promotions at work.

You stop caring for yourself and think you deserve all of this because you believe that you never measure up, you aren’t good enough so why would anybody want to be in a relationship with you or why should you move ahead in your career and life.

You have the exact life you think you deserve because you get stuck believing these limiting beliefs are true until you decide they aren’t and you change the story you tell yourself.

When you have high self-esteem the other areas of your life align with those views of self-love, self-confidence, and self-acceptance.

Everything feels as if it clicks. Your relationships are meaningful, encouraging and supportive. You excel at work and maybe get promoted.

You are self-aware and know when something is not healthy for you, you can break ties like with a toxic relationship or behavior.

You are confident and you glow which attracts people and opportunities. You feel better about yourself, your capabilities and take care of yourself and are willing to invest in yourself and your desires.

You believe you are enough and you are worthy.

There may be times when a limiting belief, fear or self-doubt comes up for you but you don’t judge yourself.

You notice what comes up for you, what you may be struggling with, and you’re patient and gentle with yourself. You choose to tell yourself a new story and you make time for the self-work to process and move forward.

Atty. Gennady Litvin

Gennady Litvin

Associate, Moshes Law

Self-esteem is so important for the sole reason that it dictates so much of your life.

The factors of your failures and successes in life can be traced back to your self-esteem.

Self-esteem affects everything from your confidence to how you interact with others and more.

Positive self-esteem will give you the confidence to talk to that boy or girl you’ve been staring at all night.

Self-esteem will help you take advantage of opportunities in life that can excel in your career.

It will give you the right mindset to push through life’s setbacks and keep moving forward while having negative self-esteem will do the complete opposite.

Between someone with positive self-esteem versus someone with negative self-esteem the person that took the time to cultivate positive self-esteem will always come out on top.

Rebecca Capps, MA, MFT

Rebecca Capps

Mental Health Professional | Wellness Coach

Self-esteem is how we perceive ourselves; therefore it directly relates to our ability to value and respect ourselves.

Self-esteem is the very foundation of our identity and ultimately determines how we relate to others.

Ultimately, our self-concept is what influences our most crucial choices in life.

Having a positive self-image leads to deeper fulfillment and more satisfying relationships.

However, if we suffer from low self-esteem, this sense of fulfillment gets hijacked by feelings tied to fear. If you have low self-esteem, you might find it challenging to establish approval outside of yourself.

To build self-esteem, one must learn to accept themselves and work through any lingering shame or guilt.

Try focusing on what makes you unique and determine your values. Living your life consistent with your values is key to stepping into your own worth.

Know what you want out of life and go after it.

When you work towards something that you wholeheartedly believe in and is consistent with your talents, you are more likely to establish greater self-love.

If you still find it difficult to establish a broader sense of self-esteem, then consider hiring a trained professional to help you work through some of your feelings. Know that you do not have to tackle this alone.

Dawn Burnett, CSA

Dawn Burnett

Wellness Strategist in the Media | Founder, A New Dawn Natural Solutions

Self Esteem is extremely important, let’s first start with relationships.

We attract into our lives a reflection of where we are at emotionally.

So if we have a low self-esteem we are likely to attract an abuser, cheater, alcoholic, gambler etc. which in return leads to a whole host of other issues.

This is due to our perception in value, low value, I’m not worthy or not good enough.

People who have a healthy self-esteem live longer.

Having a positive attitude can add 5 years to your life.

If you are constantly in a low vibrational state; low self-esteem, your body isn’t functioning at optimization. Our thoughts are stored at a cellular level so a low self-esteem and thinking negatively over time can create disease in our bodies.

Everything in life is made up of energy; a frequency so if you have a low self-esteem like attracts like, you will be attracting friends that are very dramatic, needy etc. and most likely you are co-dependent and feel the need to fix other people because inside you feel that you need fixing.

Always saying yes leads to internal burnout and additional health problems.

Low self-esteem will attract lower paying jobs.

Think of a job interview, people are not just hired based on education and work experience, they are hired based on their confidence level.

Someone who has low self-esteem and comes across meek will likely be passed up for the job.

Low self-esteem can cause social rejection which leads to depression and if severe enough can lead to suicide. We are born with a sense of connection, so when we feel like we don’t belong we become isolated and our social skills diminish.

When we have low self-esteem we don’t take care of our bodies like they need to be taken care of.

We reach for lots of processed foods that don’t nourish the body, this is due to our subconscious mind telling us that we are not valuable enough to eat high-quality foods this, of course, leads to health issues.

Marisa Peer

Marissa Apeer

World-renowned Hypnotherapist | Hypnotherapy Trainer

We live in a very funny world where we judge ourselves based on what on what other people think of us.

Am I thin enough, tall enough, have I got the right labels…”

People go through life with this belief  “I am not interesting enough” or “I’m not funny enough” or “I’m not attractive enough“.

We pick up those beliefs at the very very early age. I’ve seen clients who try to cover this feeling by drinking a lot, shopping a lot or giving into other forms of addictions.

People have all sorts of issues when they believe they are not good enough – it results in insecurities, internal struggle, addictions.

Itamar Shatz

Itamar Shatz

PhD candidate at Cambridge University | Author

Self-esteem is important because it helps you avoid procrastinating.

One problem with having a low self-esteem is that it is associated with the irrational belief that any mistakes that you make indicate that you are inadequate as a person.

This means that having low-self esteem can cause you to experience a paralyzing fear of failure, which in return leads you to procrastinate in an attempt to avoid tasks where you might fail.

Conversely, having a high self-esteem means that you understand that making mistakes is an acceptable part of the work process, which means that you are far less likely to procrastinate due to fear of failure.

Rumeet Billan, PhD

Rumeet Billan, PhD

Entrepreneur | Speaker | Author | Learning Architect | Humanitarian

Self-esteem is critical to our Psychological Capital which is knowing who you are and who you want to become.

It is knowing that you can rely on your skills and abilities to get through any situation and helps us to approach obstacles with confidence, recover from setbacks quickly and grow from the challenges we encounter.

It impacts how we act, react and interact with others and with ourselves.

Just this year, I’ve come to see my necessity for solid self-esteem in a new light.

I gained insight into how I was basing my self-image. I was basing it on outside forces and old perspectives.

This was a shoddy foundation for my self-esteem, and no wonder it was floundering. By readjusting this, I began basing my self-esteem on inside forces.

I began believing in myself instead of believing in the reactions of others. I began work to trust myself more, to show up for myself more and to be consistent in self-care.

I took care of everyone else before I ever took care of me. By placing me high on my own priority list for the day, I started to feel my self-esteem rising.

I began to matter to myself.

I matter because I have worth.

Not from what I’m hearing on the outside. But I have worth because it is already in me and it is good.

That is one thing I wish more people would do. I wish they would look inside and see that they have worth.

Worth in the form of a skill, a talent, maybe the ability to listen, maybe the ability to be a calming presence for others, etc.

And that element of them that has worth IS GOOD. And they need to recognize that and honor that each day.

Maybe they could journal to themselves daily. Maybe they could do a private vlog. Maybe they could work to set aside time in their day to pursue their hobby, their passion, their individual interest.

They could also do self-care and stop criticizing themselves for wanting to put together a nice outfit for the day, or simply embrace that they want to put on their makeup just because they enjoy makeup.

We are so critical when it comes to self-care and that needs to stop!

It’s ok to want to look good and feel pretty. It’s ok to treat yourself in the morning to a good breakfast, to your favorite yogurt, to a doughnut. (ok, maybe not a doughnut a day! ha)

Thing is, we are worth being on our own priority list.

And it’s okay to feel that and to do it. Those things build self-esteem.

And we cannot pour from an empty pitcher. And who has to live with our inner selves? Us, right?

At the end of the day, when we put our head down on our pillow at night, WE are the ones that have to live with what we did and didn’t do on that day.

And sometimes, it’s not what we did for others that bothers us…it’s what we didn’t do for ourselves that keeps us up at night.

Self-esteem is important because it determines our love relationships.

Without healthy self-esteem, you may find yourself in an abusive, toxic relationship and not have any means (within yourself) to get out of it.

Low self-esteem is what keeps women in these relationships – suffering alongside a sick and suffering alcoholic. I know because I was one of them.

Building self-esteem is the first step in the recovery process for women who love an alcoholic.

It’s work. Real, hard, work, but worth it.

We learn to generate love, compassion, regard, and respect –for ourselves.

We then outgrow old patterns of self-neglect and self-harm.

Stepping into self-esteem lifted me out of the self-destructive, codependent cycle of getting involved in bad relationships.

Self-esteem was important to also keep me OUT of these relationships.

Self-care came as a beneficial by-product of self-esteem.

The question that I asked myself -that helped me shift out of my self-inflicted pain- was, “If I was this good at taking care of an alcoholic, how good could I be at taking care of myself?”

Deborah Weed

Deborah Weed

CEO | Founder, Self-Worth Initiative

Self-esteem is important because, without it, you believe what other people think about you.

At a young age our family, friends, and teachers use words to define us. They call us pretty, smart, lazy, funny, stupid, etc.

Since there is little to no filtering system, we tuck those words deep into our hearts.

The problem is, we grow up seeing ourselves through their eyes. Not our own.

The “self” that we were born to be is free, expressive and unique.

We are a one-of-a-kind expression, tap dancing on this world of ours.

Having esteem is remembering that each of us has gifts to share with one another. When someone has little to no self-esteem, they are like a tree without roots.

The slightest storm can topple their identity. These days, people are taking their lives because no one told them that they matter.

I believe that self-esteem should be encouraged at a very young age.

There are some people who hate the fact that, in contests these days, everyone is a winner. There is truth to that, but for a very interesting reason.

Everyone IS a winner. . . just not in the same endeavor.

What if we lived in a world where we mined for the amazing qualities that came naturally to each person. What if words were used as badges of honor and not facilitators of shame.

Self-esteem is one of the most important qualities that an individual can possess. The irony is that no one can tell you that you are worthy . . . you have to believe it!

Helen Owens

Helen Owens

Author | Show Host

Self-esteem is the foundation from which we often make our most important life choices.

When we are fully immersed in who we are, we automatically develop a set of values that are compatible with the fundamental knowledge of ourselves.

We also become better at developing strong relationships with others. Without it, we are easily influenced and have trouble deciphering what choices are best for who we are.

I’ve seen directly what happens when a woman can’t understand her value or who she is.

It’s like watching an eagle that once soared above the highest mountains suddenly tuck its wings and freefall to earth.

Each of us has a responsibility to know and own ourselves so that we can be the full human beings we are intended to be.

When we take time to remember that we must always come first, we lift ourselves to our highest consciousness and rise to our greatest potential.

Elaine Rau

Elaine Rau

CEO | Founder of LadyBossBlogger.com

Low self-esteem can reduce the quality of a person’s life in many different ways and prohibit someone from enjoying life to the fullest.

In my opinion, the worst side effect low self-esteem can have is when you live in your own mind and value what everyone else thinks of you over formulating your own opinions of yourself and standing firm in them.

It’s easy to focus on the negative, but know that when you do, everything becomes negative because negative energy feeds off of negative vibes.

Low self-esteem has so many negative side effects.

It impacts the way you tackle responsibilities, the way you interact with others, and the way you carry yourself.

Letting go of that negativity is crucial when it comes to gaining self-esteem. However, life can get so hectic and crazy it seems impossible to find time to figure out ways to boost your self-esteem.

People tend to get so caught up in the day-to-day tasks that they forget to take care of the most important thing – themselves.

Self-care contributes so much to your perception of yourself.

Taking time to meditate, take a bath, read a book, or just breathe for thirty seconds can do wonders for your self-esteem.

Soon, you and everyone else around you will see the boost in confidence. It will show in the way you carry yourself, the way you act, the way you speak to others. Not to mention, your motivation to succeed will be through the roof!

Luckily, self-esteem is a muscle that can be strengthened by training.

Therefore positivity can also be implemented as part of the training. Once positivity is introduced, self-esteem has the ability to grow.

It starts by surrounding yourself with positive influences, then writing encouraging notes to yourself until you slowly start to believe what is written. It will take time, but would you rather live your life at 5% or 100%?

It’s your choice, please choose to take care of yourself. The more people take care of themselves, they not only improve their life but the quality of life for those around them.

Kelly Swanson

Kelly Swanson

Motivational Speaker | Storytelling Expert

Self-esteem is all about the internal script running through your head.

The story you write about your worth. Sometimes this story was written by others, and often it isn’t true.

You have the power to change it and reprogram your brain.

Why does it matter?

Because every human inherently craves to feel valued and craves a sense of belonging.

When you don’t value yourself you let others define your value. When this happens you allow yourself to be mistreated. You give away your power.

You don’t ask for what you want or even consider that you deserve it. If you look in the mirror and don’t love who you see…neither will they.

I know because I learned this the hard way. The biggest thing that always stood in the way of this dream, was me.

It’s not about seeing what to change, but changing what you see.

Misha Kaura

Misha Kaura

Founder | CEO, Darlinghurst Enterprises

Self-esteem is a way of showing yourself the same attention and care you show to others.

As women, we have a tendency to build up our friends and our family without taking time to also build up ourselves.

Carving out a few minutes every day to acknowledge ourselves and appreciate ourselves away from the hustle and bustle of putting everyone else first isn’t just healthy, it’s a necessity.

I noticed that my quality of life improved dramatically when I started taking out some time to put myself first and remembering that it’s ok to take care of myself before getting myself drained and over-involved in drama with my friends.

Developing my self-esteem helped me evolve away from feeling obligated to solve and to mediate every single dispute between my friends; now I just contribute when I can and stay out of it when I get drained by the drama.

Caleb Backe


Health & Wellness Expert, Maple Holistics

One of the more profound reasons for why self-esteem is so important lies in the understanding that if we aren’t able to see the intrinsic worth within ourselves, how are we supposed to do the same in others?

How can we validate other’s choices and decisions if we can’t validate our own?

Self-esteem affects everything from our motivation, to our drives, to our basic innate ability to feel good about ourselves and where we’re heading.

It sounds like an abstract concept but really, it’s simple: if we don’t value ourselves, how can we value anything within the ‘bubble’ that is our lives?

In order to answer this, we have to realize that self-esteem is the building block of what essentially makes us who we are.

David Straub

David Straub

Founder, 4Sight Model

I have a proprietary definition of self-esteem (SE): the accuracy with which we look at the past.

It’s based upon two emotional needs that we’re supposed to supply on our own: liking ourselves and valuing ourselves.

Deficits in either need will skew accuracy.

SE is important because it determines how we perceive the present and gives us the desire to act.

Along with self-confidence – which is how we look at the future and gives us the ability to act – they combine to determine all our behavior.

Problems with SE cause inaction and, in more severe instances, depression.

Carolyn Barbarite

Carolyn Barbarite

President, Javamelts Inc.

Being a women-owned and operated business and starting out with just a concept in my head, I had many obstacles and struggles.

Self-esteem was one of the most important things that I had going for me and if I didn’t have it, I would never have gotten to where I am today.

When you have self-esteem you are able to confidently and effectively communicate and connect with people on a different level.

Chris Romulo

Chris Romulo

Muay Thai Champion | Speaker | Author | Coach

When you have high self-esteem you will have a powerful belief in yourself, feel worthy, and add more value to others around you.

Without a high self-esteem, you tend to not take on challenges and experience more in life.

With high self-esteem, you are more capable of accepting your reality in the face of adversity and moving you forward.

You are willing to risk looking bad, and the possibility of failure when trying to reach your goals. You are more likely to grow and develop from your mistakes.

High self-esteem is crucial in building resilience and confidence.

If you’re on a mission and have high self-esteem people will believe in you because it is clear that you believe in yourself. The exact opposite is true, no one will believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself.

I equate it to stepping in the ring. If you face one opponent and you doubt yourself, you are outnumbered. With high self-esteem, this scenario is virtually impossible!

Demi Dee

Demi Dee

Fitness Trainer | Health Coach | Founder and CEO of The Knockout Room

Self-esteem is at the heart of everything we do in life: how we see and treat ourselves and our bodies, how we dress, how we behave and treat others, what opportunities we pursue both personally and professionally, and what we believe we deserve in life.

Self-esteem determines our mindset, and our mindset determines our success.

Shawn Breyer

Shawn Breyer

Owner, Breyer Home Buyers

A good self-esteem will allow you to believe in yourself enough to take chances for your future, whether you are asking your boss for a raise, applying for your dream job, starting your own business, or asking out the person you’ve been crushing on for a few months.

Without building up your small wins that build your self-esteem, you will not make progress in your life that’s important for fulfillment.

Frequently Asked Questions

How does self-esteem develop?

Self-esteem develops through a combination of factors, including your upbringing, personal experiences, and social environment. From an early age, the way you are treated by others and how you perceive yourself contribute significantly to your self-esteem. 

Positive reinforcement, encouragement, and a sense of belonging all foster healthy self-esteem. As you grow, achievements, personal growth, and overcoming challenges also help build self-esteem. Remember that self-esteem is a continuous journey and not a destination, so you should always strive to nurture and maintain it.

Is self-esteem related to self-confidence?

Yes, self-esteem and self-confidence are closely related, but they are not the same. Self-esteem refers to your overall sense of self-worth, whereas self-confidence is your belief in your abilities to handle specific situations or tasks. 

A person with high self-esteem typically has a strong sense of self-worth, which in turn can lead to higher self-confidence in various aspects of life. However, it is possible for someone to have high self-esteem but still lack self-confidence in certain areas.

What are some common causes of low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem can stem from various sources, including:

Childhood experiences: A lack of love, support, and encouragement during childhood can contribute to low self-esteem in adulthood.

Negative self-talk: Persistent negative thoughts about oneself and self-criticism can lead to a diminished sense of self-worth.

Social comparison: Constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling inadequate can erode your self-esteem.

Perfectionism: Setting unrealistically high expectations for yourself and being overly critical of your own performance can result in low self-esteem.

Traumatic experiences: Abuse, bullying, or other traumatic experiences can leave lasting emotional scars and contribute to low self-esteem.

Can self-esteem change over time?

Yes, self-esteem can change over time. It is not a fixed attribute and can fluctuate depending on your life experiences, the environment you’re in, and the people you surround yourself with. 

Self-esteem is not static and can be improved with conscious effort. You can nurture and improve your self-esteem by working on personal growth, building a supportive network, and focusing on self-care.

Can self-esteem be too high?

While having a healthy self-esteem is essential for well-being, self-esteem can be too high. Overly high self-esteem may lead to narcissism or an inflated sense of self-worth, which can negatively impact relationships and overall happiness.

A person with excessive self-esteem might have an unrealistic perception of their abilities and may not be open to constructive criticism, hindering personal growth. Striking a balance between healthy self-esteem and humility is key to maintaining a positive sense of self-worth.

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