There are three things we do every day and yet almost never see the importance of educating ourselves about how to master them.
These three things are:
- and Negotiation.
Most people who don’t have these skills as a requirement for their job might think there is no need to master them.
However, improving these three skills is a safe road to a blissful and happy life (for yourself and those you love).
Willingly or not you are influencing others. Willingly or not you’re communicating something all the time. Willingly or not you must negotiate to get what you want (not only from others but yourself as well “put down that cake!”).
Discover in this article 17 of the best negotiation books and learn how to get what you want without losing your self-respect and appreciation.
How can failing to negotiate could make you lose self-respect? (failing to negotiate not failing to get what you want)
Every time you say “yes” to things your mind screams “say no” you enter the self-punching circle (“I’m weak, I’ll never be enough, I hate myself”).
The same goes if you get a “yes” that you know people don’t feel comfortable with and would do whatever to get out of that agreement (“I’m a bully, a bad person, no one will work with me in the future”).
Yes, there are people that are not apologetic for taking what they want at the expense of others. However, the price they pay for what they get exceeds its value. (If nothing else, no one likes them.)
So, do you want to become a skilled negotiator in your professional or personal life? Check out the following negotiation books.
Table of Contents
- 1. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In – Roger Fisher, William L. Ury, Bruce Patton
- 2. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ – Daniel Goleman
- 3. The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal Save The Relationship and Still Say No – William Ury
- 4. Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It – Chris Voss, Tahl Raz
- 5. Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life – Stuart Diamond
- 6. Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People – G. Richard Shell
- 7. Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most – Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher
- 8. Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High – Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
- 9. Negotiating Your Salary: How To Make $1000 a Minute – M.A. Jack Chapman
- 10. Secrets of Power Negotiating, 15th Anniversary Edition: Inside Secrets from a Master Negotiator – Roger Dawson
- 11. Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts (without Money or Muscle) – Deepak Malhotra
- 12. Ask For It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want – Linda Babcock, Sara Laschever
- 13. Women Don’t Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation–and Positive Strategies for Change – Linda Babcock, Sara Laschever
- 14. The Only Negotiating Guide You’ll Ever Need, Revised and Updated: 101 Ways to Win Every Time in Any Situation – Peter B. Stark, Jane Flaherty
- 15. The Book on Negotiating Real Estate: Expert Strategies for Getting the Best Deals When Buying & Selling Investment Property – J Scott, Mark Ferguson, Carol Scott
- 16. Create a Great Deal: The Art of Real Estate Negotiating – Tim Burrell
- 17. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk – Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
1. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In – Roger Fisher, William L. Ury, Bruce Patton
Almost whenever you’re face to face with someone you have a negotiation with that person:
- The subject of your conversation
- Where to take dinner
- How the meeting should end
Learn from this book how to negotiate (step-by-step) in every situation, business, day to day life, and family environment.
2. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ – Daniel Goleman
“Emotional intelligence” is not your typical negotiation book. This is a book that can teach you how to negotiate with yourself, deal with your emotions, and use them as your primary force to move forward.
Related: 23 Best Books on Emotional Intelligence
If there is an area in your life that you must be the master of your emotions that’s, certainly, negotiation – from stopping yourself to engage in unhealthy behaviors, to dealing with your spouse, children, and coworkers, you need to know how to put your best emotional foot forward.
How could you negotiate if your emotions are choking you and you can’t even speak? Or allowing your anger to lower your intelligence? Not to mention, your vanity (being) on the driver seat…
3. The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal Save The Relationship and Still Say No – William Ury
Are you a yes person or a no person? Saying “no” to everything can kill your opportunities; saying “yes” to everything can put you in a lot of trouble. So, you must find your balance and learn how to be assertive so that you can say (without fear) a meaningful yes or a confident no.
Would you be surprised to discover that most people struggle to say “no” more than saying yes?
Read this book and find out how to negotiate what you want and say no when you must.
4. Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It – Chris Voss, Tahl Raz
In any negotiation, there is a point where a yes can look to you as bad as a no. That point is one step beyond the lowest you wanted to achieve.
When we talk about negotiation most times we see it as a compromise. Chris Voss tells you in this book why and how compromise is not a real negotiation.
A real negotiation, especially for a happy marriage, is not based on finding the middle ground but finding a path for each party involved to feel satisfied and happy.
5. Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life – Stuart Diamond
Most statistics say that the majority of us are not happy in their workplace. Doesn’t that sound sad? We spend most of our day at work. Therefore, the quality of your work relationships has a substantial impact on your well-being.
If life feels like a tug of war, maybe it’s time for you to discover how you can change that.
You see? Any relationship you have is a constant negotiation.
Sometimes we don’t negotiate because we fear that the quality of what we get will not be the same; that any future complaint can be blocked whit “it was on ‘a discount’ for a reason; you didn’t pay in full, so don’t complain; you didn’t give me [that] either, so don’t complain.”
Read this book and discover how to overcome that fear and negotiation your way to success.
6. Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People – G. Richard Shell
Negotiation is like a game of chess; you use a strategy and sometimes that strategy requires to sacrifice the Queen so you can push forward a pon and transform it into another Queen.
We tend to overvalue what we pay attention to the most. If your focus is always on your queen, you might lose all your pons and lose the game.
Focus on your purpose, not the process of getting there. You must sacrifice your queen, a knight or a bishop? So be it!
Are you feeling you’re offending someone if you negotiate a good deal? What about your purpose?
Be more self-disciplined because that almost never allows you to take your eye from the ball.
For most of us, everyday negotiation feels like a difficult conversation. Because of that, knowing how to have difficult conversations is a must for improving your negotiation skills.
However, your negotiation skills are not the only ones that could benefit greatly from finding your courage and speaking your mind; your social skills depend on it as well.
Read this book and discover how you can be courageous/ confident instead of avoiding dealing with others.
Are you prepared emotionally and logistically to communicate with your partners when stakes are high? Or do you feel pushed in a direction or another by others?
Improve your mental toughness so that you can stay true to who you are, take decisions based on your morals and values, feel free to say what you want, and have the courage to say a confident ‘no’ or a meaningful ‘yes’.
9. Negotiating Your Salary: How To Make $1000 a Minute – M.A. Jack Chapman
Do you negotiate your salary or settle for what is offered to you?
Those who don’t negotiate their salary see it as something that can’t be negotiated. They have this perception that it’s something unchangeable.
Read this book and discover when, how, and why you should negotiate your salary.
“Secrets of Power Negotiating” is the book you might need to improve your negotiation skills. Find out how to negotiate:
- Over modern technologies (email, messaging, phone)
- Reading the body language of your partners
- Translate the hidden meanings in any conversation
- With partners from a different culture or background
- Using proven strategies
Does it happen to you to negotiate something, get what you want, and still feel afraid to say yes and seal the deal? You are not alone.
Many of us have this conundrum “why, oh why, didn’t I say yes?”
The answer is quite simple. Yes is a commitment and ‘no’ feels like self-protection. But do you, really protect yourself by not taking a commitment? Sometimes you do and sometimes…
The fear of success is equally petrifying as fear of failure. However, the most significant difference between the two is that you might not even know you’re afraid of success. It doesn’t sound logic; “How could I be afraid of becoming successful when it’s something that I really want?!”
Taking a commitment can be scary. You want to be likable, you want people to see you as a good person, you want to be able to keep your word. Taking a commitment can sometimes feel like you jeopardize all that, but it’s a must for becoming successful.
If you’re a woman and your job description doesn’t say anything about negotiation, most probably you take things as they come.
There are two main reasons why women don’t negotiate in their day to day life. Those reasons are:
- At the emotional level, you assume no one will ask you a higher price than the value of what you want. So it seems only fair to pay the asking price.
- If you see negotiation as a fight, a war, most likely feel the need to step down because it is not gracious for a woman to pick up fights and engage in conflicts.
Read this book and discover how to overcome whatever it is that stops you to negotiate, improve your negotiation skills as a woman, and become fearless.
Everything in life is negotiated, under all conditions, at all times. From asking your boss for a raise, to asking your significant other to take out the garbage, to buying or selling a product or service, most of us are involved in negotiations to one degree or another for a good part of any given day.
The Only Negotiating Guide You’ll Ever Need, Revised and Updated outlines the critical elements you need for a successful negotiation and reveals the 101 tactics to use in any high stakes business deal, or in everyday life occurrences.
No negotiation is about winning (it), but getting closer to what you want.
If you step away from what you want (a house) is painful (emotionally) for a few days. If you give in and pay more than you feel comfortable, it’s painful for years.
Is like leaving behind an abusive relationship “no one will love you” “So be it! I’ll love myself now, and we’ll see what the future brings.”
For most of us, negotiating for the house we buy is the most significant negotiation ever. Therefore, you must know how to negotiate to buy a house so that you can enjoy it as a home.
16. Create a Great Deal: The Art of Real Estate Negotiating – Tim Burrell
The Art of Real Estate Negotiating will greatly increase your success in putting deals together and it creating deals that close more gracefully.
You will learn the Principles to follow, the Rules to employ (or break), the Tools you need to succeed and the Tricks to recognize so you will not get fooled.
Want more negotiating power? You will learn how to get it. You will get the training you need to succeed at Win-Win negotiation, and learn how to Win-Lose negotiate when you need to. Create a Great Deal gives you what you need to create more real estate deals that are greater than you can imagine.
17. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk – Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
If you have children, negotiation is your middle name.
In a family environment, the negotiation sits on “how do you expect me to do […] if I have to […]?” It’s not about compromising, but collaboration. Compromise makes both parties feel resentment, especially if the promised reward doesn’t happen and most times it doesn’t…
Discover how to negotiate with your children, how to listen more, so they listen to you as well. Learn how to deal with your emotions, make to be your choice of how you respond outwards opposite to uncontrolled anger or frustration.
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