Every couple has their own story of how long it took for them to realize that they had already found “the one.”
So the question is, how long does it take for a man to know he wants to marry you? Let’s have a look at these experts’ insights:
Certified Relationship Coach |
Author, In the Paint, How to Win at the Game of Love
There is no set time for a man to fall in love with and marry a woman
However, these 5 indicators have to be met. I felt my wife was going to be my wife the first time we met and we have been married 22 years, but I wasn’t ready to follow through until these questions were answered.
- When the energy level you give off is at another level, it will make your sexual attraction so intense. The majority of the time, men will always be sexually attracted to their spouse, but when the energy that is created when you’re together is so right, he will want to share his life with you and be vulnerable to get hurt.
- When your values align with his. He wants to feel that you are going in the same direction before he will be ready to make a full-time commitment.
- When he can take responsibility for the relationship. He will be responsible for half of the relationship. He won’t look to blame you for the petty things that happen in any relationship.
- When he feels that he knows who you really are. Men are simple, they want to know who they are marrying.
- When he can feel love and respect for who he is. These are huge and the final piece to the puzzle. If a man can feel accepted for who he is and loved despite his shortcomings can really make the difference to thinking he wants to marry you, to know that he does.
Relationship Expert, Mantelligence
Getting married is a daunting decision to make. It’s a move that can change someone’s whole life. It’s not something that men take lightly. So, if you have ever wondered how long it takes a man to know he wants to marry you, there is a simple answer.
The simple answer is that it depends on man to man
There are a lot of factors that a man considers when deciding if he already wants to marry.
Men will not jump into marriage unless they think that they’re financially prepared for it. Getting married will cost a lot starting only at the proposal, and will become more as time goes by.
You don’t know, but maybe he’s already saving up to propose to you. It will usually take men years of saving up before they can consider that they’re ready for marriage.
A man will consider his compatibility with you before he knows that he wants to marry you. He will make sure that the person he will spend his life with is someone he shares his values and principles with.
Usually, it takes men around six months to a year to see how compatible he is with the person he’s dating.
A man will want to know your flaws before he decides if he wants to marry you. He needs to know if he can live with you for the rest of his life despite the flaws that you have. He will need to know if he can accept them.
Sometimes, it takes a man a year or more to figure out the flaws in a woman.
But, it can take other people longer to show the “real” them, including their flaws. It will depend a lot on what situation is thrown at your relationship for your man to see how you react to different circumstances.
These factors greatly affect how long it takes a man to know if he wants to marry you. This is why the length of decision-making differs from man to man because some factors take other people longer to see and decide on.
Dating Expert, DatingRelationshipsAdvice.com
There’s no right time for a man to decide that they want to marry you
In fact, there isn’t a time or period to consider at all. Some ended breaking up even after years of dating while some wedded even when they were together for less.
When there are no ifs and buts
You can say a man wants and will marry you when there are no ifs and buts. No more of those lingering “what if she’s not yet the one” and “we make a good team, but I’m not sure if this will last forever.”
Everything—career, circumstances, feelings—falls into place.
When he feels peaceful about growing old with you
The length of time varies for every person. Some men are already sure about marrying their partner early in the relationship, while others want to grow into the relationship first before popping the question. However, their common denominator involves the feeling of peacefulness towards the woman.
Before diving into marriage, any man—or person for that matter—will consider the negative side of things. No relationship is perfect and most couples will always have a problem or two as boyfriends and girlfriends but if a man accepts everything with peacefulness in his heart, you’ll know that he’s sure about marrying you.
When you’ve managed to overcome a huge problem together
There are no perfect relationships. Every couple will experience the bad side of being together in one way or another, but a couple grows strong if they can choose and want to preserve their relationship despite everything.
If you’ve done this with your partner, this can be a time when he pops the question to you.
Three years seems to be the sweet spot for a lot of our customers
When most of the male clients who’ve come in for engagement rings talk to me about their soon to be fiancée, they usually say they’ve been dating for about 3 years before they decided to pop the question.
For some of our clients who have found love again, tend to pop the question much sooner and some wait a bit longer. I just think it’s great to remember that men would definitely know if they want to marry you but there is no time limit on when it should happen, in a healthy relationship.
Psychiatry Resident, Dalhousie University
Six to 7 months
Research has indicated that the average North American man takes 6-7 months to conclude if the person he is dating is marriage material to him.
This low number may come as a shock to many people who are in unmarried relationships lasting years, which can happen for several reasons.
In some cases, a couple may have met at an inopportune time to marry because of age, school, finances, or other obstacles, so they put off marriage until a better time – even if the man has already concluded he wants to marry his partner eventually.
Sometimes, a man may put off proposing because he feels it’s not socially acceptable to propose so soon, or he is afraid of being rejected as a consequence of moving too fast.
In yet other cases, someone may put off proposing because he has fears about things not working out, as a result of either active relationship conflict, disappointment in his own past relationships, or as a result of watching other people’s relationships ending.
He may not trust his desire to marry his partner at first, so he waits to see if anything changes in the relationship.
Whatever the reason for the delay, men typically know after about 6-7 months of consistent dating in optimal conditions whether or not they have found “the one”.
Unfortunately, sometimes the conclusion is no, they definitely cannot see themselves marrying the present partner, but they may stay in the relationship for several years to meet their own needs.
If that is a possibility, communicating openly is important; an early break-up is better than realizing you’ve been led on for years by someone who never saw it ending in marriage.
Tal Mandelbaum, Msc
Social-Organizational Psychologist, Choosing to Connect
It only takes two dates for a man or woman to know if they want to get married
When you meet a person for the first time, you get all the information you need in order to know if this person is for you.
It takes some awareness, but the truth is, we get a whole lot of information from just meeting someone and talking to them for an hour or two. A second date is a good way to validate your initial knowing.
When you think back, you might be able to see that sensations and knowing you experienced when you first met past partners, were heralds of what came afterward.
Often we are tempted to date someone for months and months, only to finally listen to what our inner knowing tried to tell us right from the start!
So what do you need to look for on that first date?
Check your physical impressions
How do you feel about this person’s company? Are you attracted to them? Does it feel pleasant? Do you feel that you want to be there?
Your body knows a lot that your mind may not be acknowledging, so try to notice what your body is telling you.
Look for anything common between the two of you
Secondly, as you listen to your date speaking of her life, do you feel that you want to be part of that story? Are there similarities in how you grew up, in your background, tastes, and habits? This is important because a shared basis makes life together so much easier and more harmonious.
It is also important to assess if you have shared goals. Do you both want the same things in life? Are you interested in spiritual development? Do you both want children? If you find that there are big differences in these bigger goals, you know it’s not for you.
Look for signs
Random words you hear, written signs you read, a song played in the restaurant you are sitting at, a peculiar smell…anything that comes into your consciousness and seems relevant can be a sign.
This is not an exact science, but be open to receiving information from your environment- the reality is always speaking to you!
Animals can know if a partner is right for them by simply sniffing their urine. Though we humans don’t have such an internal laboratory to help us know if we are genetically compatible with another person, we can develop the ability to know everything we need to know about a relationship when we just meet them.
It may take some practice, but it will save you a lot of time and effort. Ultimately, learning to listen to your instincts and intuition will be well worth it!
Relationship Expert, Dating Pilot
The duration varies from man to man.
Every man who is in a committed relationship is different, therefore knowing the exact duration it takes a man to know when and if he wants to marry will also vary.
In order for a man to know when he wants to marry, he must first want and be ready to get married. If a man has been dating his girlfriend for five years but has not tied the knot yet, then, he may not be ready to settle down or he may not believe in marriage altogether.
If his girlfriend’s wishes are to get married but her boyfriend hasn’t shown signs of interest, then they both should address what their individual relationship goals are for their relationship.
If the man is ready to settle down, then he will be dating with the purpose of turning a serious long-term relationship into marriage.
At this point, it is much easier for a man to determine whether the woman he is dating is “the one”. Knowing that he wants to marry “the one” can be within the first six months to a year of dating.
Editor and Content Ambassador, Romantific
Each person has its own time frame.
When we’re talking about marriage, we mean spending the rest of our lives with that special someone. It’s one of the biggest decisions any of us have to make and that requires a significant amount of time before finally having a firm resolution.
In fact, it took my best friend 6 years before he popped the question to his college sweetheart. But despite the fact that we all have our own time frames, studies show that on average, it takes around 6 months or 172 days before a person is sure that they want to marry their special someone.
But of course, it’s up to the dudes when they’ll pop the question. And they can be categorized into two types based on just how long before they decide to get shackled.
The “love at first sight” type.
There are just some men, although a very uncommon breed, who immediately wants to get married to someone that they just met very recently.
They’re the ones who simply know that that girl is the one and don’t want to waste their time waiting for the right moment to get married. And most often, these men are those who are so ready to finally settle down with someone.
The “let’s get to know each other first” type.
Now, this type consists of men who are either unsure when it comes to the topic of marriage or the ones who want to make sure that they’re making the right decision.
In short, they are not risk-takers. They require months, even years before they are sure that the girl is the one.
Relationship Expert, Feely Feelings
After the honeymoon phase
Generally, the first 3 months of a relationship is known as the “honeymoon phase”, when there is an importance of manners and making a good impression.
It’s usually during the next phase when our true identity makes an entrance. Our less than perfect traits may become more visible, and we’ve let our guard down.
This is typically when a man will confirm or reject the notion of marriage. Either he can’t deal with those traits, or he can, and it will often take 3-5 negative experiences to decide.