Getting into new relationships and going on first dates with someone new can be quite challenging for some people.
You’re not really sure if they’re serious and want to date you exclusively or not.
Here are some telling signs that he wants to date you exclusively, as discussed by experts.
Professional Matchmaker | Dating Coach, LUMA Luxury Matchmaking
He set future plans and schedules
If the person you are dating starts bringing you up-to-date with their schedule, you may be on to a keeper. This means that he or she is really opening up to you. Not only are they diminishing their privacy by giving you access to this information, but it also implies an amount of self-imposed accountability.
It’s like saying, “I have nothing to hide from you and I have no issues with you knowing where I am.”
When someone starts to include you in their upcoming plans, whether it be day trips, weekends, or even just making plans to meet up for lunch, they probably see some sort of future with you and might be looking for a relationship.
He is not bothered by relationship history
This should be cleaned up. People who are ready for a new relationship don’t hold on to a ton of baggage from their past relationships. They also shouldn’t be bitter about their exes.
You should be with someone who is mature and can treat their ex well and talk respectfully about them. While keeping their boundaries and building with you to the point of becoming exclusive.
Your connection goes beyond the superficial
You share the same core values, ideas, and ways of thinking. You genuinely like each other’s personalities and can’t get enough of being around each other. And you also see yourself building with each other and life taking you in the same direction.
He introduces you to family and friends
If someone is introducing you to their family, friends, or people that they are close to in general, it is a good sign they see things becoming exclusive.
They are bringing you into their world and introducing you to people that are important in their lives because they are assuming you will soon be part of that elite group of people. They want to intertwine the people in their lives with you because they are counting on you being around in the future.
He is curious about you
Someone that is interested in you and eager to make things exclusive will be genuinely curious to learn more about you. Your wants, likes, dislikes, past, what you want to do with your future, and everything in between.
This is because they see things going the distance and knowing more about you will allow them to better prepare for accommodating and integrating you into their life.
He makes time for you
This is one of the more obvious signs because it is accurate. If someone is interested in making things exclusive with you, they will show you by making time for you no matter how jam-packed their busy schedule might be.
You will find that they are around more often, constantly making plans with you and trying to be around you as much as they can. They won’t be able to get enough of you.
Charese L. Josie, LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker | Owner and Founder, CJ Counseling and Consulting Services
When you are in a relationship, knowing exactly where that relationship stands and the goals for the relationship should not be a secret.
He tells you
If you are in a relationship, you should know the status of your relationship. When the person tells or asks you about being exclusive, it’s at that moment for you to provide a direct and clear response. It is also a clear sign of the person’s intention to be exclusive.
The relationship is public knowledge
Men who want exclusively are very clear about their intentions and feelings about you. He will tell you, his friends and family about your relationship and make it publicly known that you two are together.
He is consistent
Men who want to be exclusive are consistent in their behaviors in the relationship. He provides clarity of his intentions with the relationship when he calls or send text messages on a consistent basis. If he initiates some type of interaction with you daily, he is showing that you are a priority in his life.
He is transparent
The man who wants to be exclusive will never leave you guessing. It’s not because you have to ask; it’s because he willingly shares about his day, other important people in his life and his thoughts. You will not feel like you have to guess and of course, you will not feel intimidated to ask simple questions.
Let’s face it; social media is the concrete statement of the status of your relationship. If he posts statuses mentioning your name, your picture and includes pictures and outings of you two together, he wants to date you exclusively. He is telling the social media world that you are his and he is not ashamed to tell anyone who may be watching.
Exclusivity is a big deal for an emotionally healthy man.
He lets you meet key stakeholders
When he introduces you to his family, best friends, and even kids, this means he’s considering you exclusively and feels you are the wind in his wings.
He provides an invitation to holidays
When he asks to spend Xmas, Hannukah with him… this means he considers your essence, your heart, your gifts a priority in celebrating the Holidays and wants to literally gift you with his time, energy and resources.
He tells you
Emotionally healthy men don’t play games. They know what they want and they’re not afraid to ask. He will literally tell you that he sees you, the real you. He will say he’s a better man with you in his world. He will have authentic conversations about kids, values, money, monogamy, future, etc with you. He asks you to take both your profiles down.
The bottom line is an emotionally unhealthy man will want you to be exclusive right out of the gate.
He can’t handle competition, he wants to ‘feed’ of your energy and begin manipulating your mind by telling you way too soon that you are the goddess he’s been seeking for lifetimes.
However, a healthy man who wants to date you exclusively will take his time and make you feel seen, safe and honored.
He will respect you with including you in his inner world. His words and actions are congruent. And in his presence, you exhale.
Millenial Dating Coach
Men communicate their feelings primarily through action. So if you want insight into how a man feels about you, pay attention to how he acts. Here are some sure-fire signs that he thinks you’re worth the commitment:
He introduces you to his friends and family
He’ll only make the effort to introduce you to the people who matter to him once he’s decided that you matter to him. Pay attention to his intent to introduce you to the people he cares about. A red flag is when he tries to hide you from them.
He contacts you every day
You shouldn’t have to wonder if a man is thinking about you. Most men will let you know by checking in on you. A man who values you as a potential partner knows that if he doesn’t hold your attention, someone else will. So he makes it a point to let you know he cares. Plus, he’ll be thinking about you so much that he can’t help but stay in touch!
He often invites you to stay the night
A man’s bed is his sacred space once the deed is done. So if he has a habit of inviting you to stay the night, it means he wants more than just sex. On the other hand, if he seems uncomfortable with the idea of you staying, then run and don’t look back!
He suggests dates that require leaving the house
A man’s level of investment is measured by the level of effort he puts into seeing you. If your dates constantly consist of Netflix and Chill, then there’s a good chance he doesn’t want anything serious with you. But if he tries to get creative with date ideas, or even lets you choose, then you know you’ve found a keeper.
He wants to know if you’re seeing anyone else
You can be sure that if a man is sniffing around to see if you’re seeing anyone else, then he’s in it to win it. It may not be easy for a man to be vulnerable with you and tell you that he wants a commitment, but if he’s trying to find out whether you have other prospects, then that’s your cue.
Founder & Managing Member, A Good First Date, LLC
When a man wants to move ahead, there are obvious signs. In my experience both personal and professional, when a guy falls, he falls hard. If you’re in the same space, pay attention and you may have found your match!
He makes an effort
Actions speak louder than words and in the case of dating, that couldn’t be truer. If he wants to progress the relationship, he will get on his phone and make a reservation, pick out his favorite spot or ask where you want to go. It’s easy to sit on the couch and text and text and text. But he will want to see you, not just a picture of you.
He pays attention
That meeting that you’re nervous about or the argument with your friend…he’ll remember. You will get a text or a call with specific questions because he cares about you and he’s looking out for your best interests.
You’ll get responses within a reasonable time and they will hopefully either help you through a tough spot or just make you laugh.
He gets you
It’s easy for a guy to be attracted to you for your looks but when he’s attracted to you for you it feels different. Maybe you’re really passionate about music or particularly driven, tenacious.
He will pick up on those things and give you compliments that are unique to you. Why? Because he is taking the time to get to know you. He legitimately likes spending time with you.
He introduces you to his friends and family
He wants to show you off! He talks about his friends and expresses how excited he is for you to meet them. It could be a casual first encounter and when you’re together he pays attention to you.
A more formal sign is an invitation to a work or family event. He wants to make you a part of his life and he’s testing the waters, hoping that you’ll pass.
If you want to date him exclusively and he’s showing these signs, then reciprocate and let him know that he’s on the right track.
It may not look like an explicit conversation, but be responsive. When anybody, man or woman, takes a risk and really exposes how they feel they’re being vulnerable. During this period, developing trust and communication will help the relationship grow.
Licensed Professional Counselor | Writer, Insurantly
When dating, it is best to have honest communication between partners. This would include straight forward conversations about what each person wants in a relationship as well as exclusivity. However, not all people are comfortable having this conversation, and the wondering can drive a person crazy.
So how do we, as women, know when our guy wants to “make it official?” There are certain signs, and mind you, they are not always foolproof, that indicates that he’s ready to be exclusive.
He changes his online status
In this age of technology, changing relationship status on Facebook carries a lot of weight. If he changes his status, he is telling the world that he is committed. If he has dabbled with online dating, deleting the apps and profiles is another sign.
He lets his family and friends know
Letting his family and friends know that he is dating, you can indicate his desire to be exclusive. Casual dating partners are less likely to take the time to introduce one another to the significant others in their lives.
Building off of this, if he wants to introduce you to those important people, things are definitely pointing towards his desire to be in this for the long haul. Making plans to spend holidays together can also be a sign.
He makes decisions and commitments
Making decisions and commitments to one another can also be a sign. Buying a pet, moving in together…anything that further blends your lives can be a way that he shows you that he is ready to be exclusive.
Dr. Christopher Ryan Jones
Clinical Psychologist | Relationship & Sex Therapist | Member, American Psychological Association
Many people, regardless of gender, are nervous when it comes to relationships. After all, no one wants to get hurt. So, when it comes to starting a relationship or advancing a relationship to the next level, sometimes “actions speak louder than words.”
- Even though the person might not say they want to be “exclusive”, it doesn’t mean that they don’t want to be. For example, if he’s spending a lot of time with you, to the point where he wouldn’t have time to go on any other dates, you’re probably the one he wants.
- If a guy begins to change his reaction to you interacting with other guys, this is a definite sign that he wants to take the relationship to a more exclusive level.
- There could also be some less direct verbal comments as well, such as the guy could ask you questions such as, “Whose girl are you?” or “Are you my girl?” These are ways a guy can feel out where you are in the relationship before he puts himself on the preverbal limb and risks rejection.
Certified Mental Health Consultant, Enlightened Reality | Relationship Expert
Sometimes it’s really obvious and effortless – other times, the signs can be more subtle.
He focuses on you
Some of the more subtle signs include the fact that he may be planning dates for your months in advance; he values and listens to what you’re saying and actively participates in conversations. These are all signs that he’s invested in your relationship and you alone.
Talking about himself isn’t always a sign he’s a narcissist. It could be that he’s trying to open up and share parts of himself with you. Allowing you into his world, showing you his favorite movies, books, or foods are common signs that he enjoys spending time with you and wants to share his passions with you. Hanging out in a group, whether with his friends or yours, can be fun, but no one-on-one time leaves little room for intimacy.
These signs are just that, signs. But it’s also possible to misread signs, so it’s best if you do see certain signs to open up and ask him. It’s a great validation for him too that you’ve picked up what he may have put down.
Rosalind Sedacca, CLC
Dating & Relationship Coach, Women Dating After 40 |
Author, 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50, & Yes, 60!
Partners who love you enough to want to date you exclusively will talk to you in a different way than more casual dating partners
When you make a request, they will frequently say, “It’s my pleasure,” That statement means I am doing this FOR you because I WANT TO. It gives me the joy to help you, accommodate you, be there for you or support you in ways you deserve.
He cares about you and your feelings
Their behavior is not about “shoulds” or “obligations” or “rules” for being a partner. It’s about wanting to do something for you because they love you and love seeing you happy.
Listen to how your partner speaks to and about you. Pay attention to their behavior around you. That will clarify whether they value you enough to want to move to an exclusive relationship. That makes all the difference in the world.
Holistic Marriage & Family Therapist | Owner, Wisdom Within Counseling
He will pay for your dinner at a restaurant
This is not going to McDonald’s and buying you a one-dollar burger. This is taking you to a cloth napkin, low lit, romantic restaurant and paying for your $50 meal.
This is a sign that your date wants to take care of you, and he is showing you that he could potentially treat you really well in the future and help you feel supported in life.
He will tell you openly he is not seeing other people
If your date brings up this conversation, this can be a sign they want to date you exclusively and are looking for you to talk about your dating goals.
Freelance Copywriter | Social Media Manager | Author, Maroon in a Sky of Blue
This is the biggest giveaway when looking for signs if he wants to date you exclusively. Multiple studies conducted by psychologists as early as 1968 reveal that if he engages and maintains constant eye contact when in conversation with you, implicitly means that he is keen in an exclusive, long term relationship.
The position of his feet also tells a story.
When you’re standing or sitting on opposite sides of a table, notice which direction his feet are pointing. According to experts, his feet will always point in your way when he is engrossed in a conversation with you.
Another sign could be if he introduces his friends to you fairly quickly.
Amica Garber, an expert in relationships for TruthFinder, says, “If someone can visualize a long-term, exclusive relationship with you, they’ll probably want to introduce pretty quickly. Likewise, he would want to meet your friends and family. Once he starts mixing and matching social circles, it does denote that he is only interested in you.