How to Improve Your Personality (28 Actionable Tips)

Everyone wants a sparkling personality. Sure, it sounds great, but what does it really mean? Well, it’s about how we carry ourselves, how we talk, listen, and even how we laugh.

We’re all works in progress, and sometimes, a few tweaks here and there can make a big difference in how we connect with others and see ourselves. Improving your personality isn’t about changing who you are—it’s about shining a light on the best parts of you and learning a few new tricks to add to your social toolbox.

In our fast-paced world, being able to communicate well, stay cool under pressure, and be genuinely nice counts for a lot. It can open doors in your career, make your daily interactions smoother, and just make you feel better about yourself.

Cultivate a Positive Mindset

Who doesn’t like hanging out with someone who sparks joy in the room? That’s the magic of having a positive mindset—it’s contagious! Remember, your vibe attracts your tribe. By keeping a sunny disposition, even when clouds loom, you can shape your personality into one that lights up a way for others, too.

Now, I’m not saying you have to be all smiles all the time; let’s be real, we all have our days. But there’s a trick to turning that frown upside-down: practice gratitude.

Maintaining a positive mindset doesn’t mean ignoring the not-so-great stuff—it means tackling it with a “can-do” spirit. Next time life throws a curveball, take a deep breath and say, “Challenge accepted!”

Develop Empathy

Empathy is like a bridge that helps you connect with others on a deep level. It’s about feeling what someone else is feeling and seeing things from their perspective. When you develop empathy, you don’t just hear what someone is saying—you actually feel it, and this makes your interactions richer and more meaningful.

Start simple.

Pay close attention when someone is talking to you. Notice not just their words but also their expressions and gestures. Someone might say they’re okay, but their tight smile or anxious taps might tell you there’s more going on.

Also, try stepping into their shoes for a moment. Think about how you would feel if you were in their situation. This doesn’t mean you have to solve their problems, but understanding and acknowledging their feelings can go a long way. Sometimes, all a person needs is to feel understood and not alone in their journey.

Honing in on this trait can turn your personality into a magnet for good vibes and good friends. People dig that quality where you just ‘get them,’ you know?

Practice Active Listening

Active listening is much more than just nodding along while someone else talks. It’s about really tuning in—your phone is out of sight, and your attention is not on tomorrow’s to-do list.

We all love to feel heard. By mastering active listening, you become that person everyone wants to talk to, not because you have interesting stories but because you make them feel their stories are worth telling. Plus, you’ll be surprised at how much you can learn when you really listen.

Work on Your Communication Skills

Good communication is key, not just at work but in every part of your life. Think of it this way: how you say things can make a world of difference in how people perceive you. It’s one thing to know a lot, but it’s another to share that knowledge in a way that’s clear, friendly, and engaging.

• Start by focusing on clarity and conciseness. Whether you’re writing an email or chatting with friends, get to the point and stay on track.
• Next up, pay attention to your tone. It’s not just what you say; it’s how you say it. Your tone can convey respect and understanding, or it can do the exact opposite.
• Practicing often. Like, really. Chat with strangers, give a toast at a party, or perhaps start a podcast! The more you practice, the smoother you’ll get.

Lastly, remember that good communicators are also good listeners (yep, it ties back to the active listening we talked about earlier). So, as much as you practice speaking, practice listening too.

It’s a two-way street, and being good at both makes you someone everyone enjoys talking to (and listening to!).

Be More Open to Feedback

It might not always be what you want to hear, but feedback can help you get better. When someone gives you advice or tells you how you could do something better, they’re actually doing you a favor. Think of it as insider info that can help you polish up your personal style.

• Firstly, try not to take feedback personally. Easier said than done, right? But here’s the thing: feedback is about your actions, not about you as a person. Separating the two can help you accept feedback more graciously.
• Secondly, ask for specifics. It’s hard to improve if all you know is that you “need to be better.” Specific feedback can give you actionable points to work on.

And when you do get feedback, act on it. Nothing says “I’m taking this seriously,” like making changes based on what you’ve been told. Plus, it lets people know they can come to you with honest thoughts, making your relationships richer and more authentic. Win-win, huh?

Show Genuine Interest in Others

Showing interest makes people feel valued, and that’s something they’ll always remember about you. But how do we make sure it’s genuine?

Well, for starters, really listen when someone talks to you (notice a theme here?). Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Instead, engage with what they’re saying.

Ask follow-up questions that show you’re really tuned in. It’s like, instead of just saying, “Cool story,” you go, “What happened next?” or “How did that make you feel?”

Then, remember the details. If someone told you they were nervous about a job interview, check back later and ask how it went. It shows you care enough to keep that info in your head amidst everything else.

And finally, give compliments, but keep them real. Don’t just throw out a “Nice shirt” every time you see them. Genuine compliments about their actions or choices can really boost their day and improve your bonds.

Express Gratitude Through Actions

Saying “thank you” goes beyond good manners—it’s like leaving little breadcrumbs of happiness for others to find.

When you express gratitude through your actions, it not only boosts your mood but also brightens the day for those around you. It’s like sprinkling a little sunshine wherever you go.

One powerful way to do this is to take the time to write thank-you notes—yes, good old-fashioned handwritten notes! Whether it’s for a gift, a kind deed, or even a professional favor, a personal note can make a big impact. It shows you cared enough to put pen to paper, which is pretty rare these days!

Alternatively, returning the favor or paying it forward can also be an amazing expression of your gratitude. If someone helped you out, look for an opportunity to help them or someone else. Keep that goodwill train rolling!

"Gratitude helps us to connect more fully with our current experience and amplifies our positive emotions. When we focus on what we're grateful for, it becomes easier to be kinder to ourselves and others, strengthening our relationships, health, resilience, and overall well-being.

Beyond just the social and personal improvement that comes from gratitude, there are also career benefits as grateful people have been shown to invest their time and energy wisely, putting extra effort into goals that lead to success later on.

When faced with difficult choices, they also make better decisions, being more open-minded, persistent, and creative when following the best course of action.

Grateful people are also less likely to give up in the face of failure, meaning they're more inclined to persevere until they achieve their goals (for instance, by studying harder or practicing more)."

— Dr. Carly Claney, PhD | Licensed Clinical Psychologist | Director, Relational Psych

Smile More Often

Flashing a genuine smile not only makes you more approachable but also creates a ripple effect that can brighten up any room. When someone smiles at you, doesn’t it just naturally tug the corners of your mouth upwards? Smiles are contagious like that.

And you know, smiles do some pretty nifty work on the inside, too. Smiling can actually trick your brain into a better mood. When you smile, your brain releases feel-good neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin.

And remember, your smile is a gift that costs nothing but can mean everything to someone who might need a lift. So when you’re out and about, why not throw a smile at strangers you meet? Whether it’s the barista who makes your coffee or someone you pass on your morning walk, your smile could be the highlight of their day.

Engage in New Experiences

Stepping out of your comfort zone is like trying a new flavor at your favorite ice cream shop—it could turn into your next top pick. Trying new things adds layers to your personality, like adding sprinkles, chocolate chips, and a cherry to your sundae. It makes you more interesting not just to others but also to yourself.

Each new adventure is like a new color on your personality palette. You might stumble upon a hobby that becomes a passion or strike up a conversation about an adventure that leads to a new friendship.

And let’s be honest, being the “been there, done that, got the t-shirt” person at a party is pretty cool. So, lace up those shoes and step out the door.

"Even if it's going to a new place, a long hike, or eating out by yourself, it doesn't have to be extraordinary as long as it pushes you out of your comfort zone and gives you an opportunity to meet people.

No book or occupation can beat having your own experiences; without it, you're just dipping into someone else's world without building your own.

Build on your skills; there's nothing like realizing you're good at something."

— Anthony Martin | CEO & Founder, Choice Mutual

Expand Your Interests

Ever noticed how people with diverse interests always have the coolest stories to tell? That’s because each new interest adds a layer to who they are, making their personality richer and more vibrant. Plus, it’s just fun to learn new stuff!

Every new interest works like a personal ad showcasing the fascinating features of your personality. And as you get better at these new hobbies, the confidence that comes with those skills makes you shine brighter in the eyes of others and yourself.

Learn to Manage Stress Effectively

Life comes at you fast, and sometimes, it feels like you’re juggling hot potatoes. Stress management is about learning to put those potatoes down before you get burned.

Finding ways to stay calm and cool makes you someone people can lean on, someone who’s steady in a storm. This quality is not just good for you; it’s an attractive quality that boosts how people see you.

• Recognize when you’re stressed. Is your heart racing? Are you feeling overwhelmed? That’s your cue.
• Take a timeout. Even just a few deep breaths can turn the volume down on your stress levels.
• Find what soothes you. Is it a walk, a favorite song, or maybe doodling on a piece of paper?

Sure, it’s easier said than done, but as you get the hang of this stress-busting setup, you’ll find your personality becoming as inviting as a stress-free zone sign. Plus, you’ll be setting the gold standard for keeping cool, and let’s be honest, we could all use a little more chill in our lives.

Exercise Regularly to Improve Your Mood

You’ve heard it a million times: exercise is good for you. But did you know it’s also good for your personality?

Regular physical activity releases dopamine and endorphins, often referred to as your brain’s “feel-good” neurotransmitters. It’s like giving your mood a dose of sunshine, no matter the weather. When you feel better, you act better—it’s as simple as that.

You don’t need to go extreme; even a 30-minute walk, a quick jog, or some yoga can make a huge difference. The goal is consistency. Making exercise a part of your daily routine can transform it from a chore to a delightful habit that you actually look forward to.

When you’re the kind of person who’s regularly active, you bring an energy that’s infectious. People see you as a go-getter, someone who’s full of life. And guess what? That kind of energy is like a magnet. Before you know it, you’re not just in better shape physically; your personality is looking pretty fit, too.

Develop a Habit of Reading

Reading is like a workout for your brain, and a well-exercised brain makes for an interesting, well-rounded personality.

It doesn’t matter if you’re into novels, biographies, or the back of a cereal box—reading opens up new worlds and gives you a bunch to talk about. Plus, soaking up those words on the page (or screen) can make you a whiz at trivia night.

Not only does reading enhance your knowledge, but it also improves empathy. Getting lost in a character’s world helps you understand different perspectives. Next time you’re chatting with friends, you’ll be the one dishing out the fun facts and interesting stories.

Love Your True Self

Loving yourself might sound like advice from a cheesy self-help book, but trust me, it’s foundational for a magnetic personality. It’s all about embracing who you are—quirks and all—and not being swayed by every gust of opinion or trend.

Now, this doesn’t mean you think you’re perfect—nobody is. It’s about giving yourself high-fives for your wins and not being too harsh when things don’t go the way you expected.

The more you appreciate your unique mix, the more others will, too. So go ahead and rock those metaphorical (or literal!) bright red shoes that say, “This is me, and I’m awesome.”

Related: How to Be True to Yourself (21 Ways + Expert Insights)

Mind Your Manners

Good old-fashioned manners never go out of style and they play an important role in making impressions that last.

• Start with the basics: please, thank you, and you’re welcome. These little words can make interactions smoother and more pleasant.
• Being polite also includes being punctual, attentive, and respecting personal space—all signs that you value the other person’s time and presence.
• Good manners extend to digital spaces, too. Remember to be just as courteous in texts and emails as you would be in person. A prompt and polite reply can make all the difference.

Minding your manners is like sending out a vibe that you care about the people around you. It makes you someone who’s a pleasure to be around, someone with a personality that sticks in someone’s memory for all the right reasons. So, keep it courteous, keep it kind, and watch your social stock soar.

Work on Your Body Language

Your body can shout without ever saying a word. It can show confidence, openness, or even boredom—so it’s worth paying attention to what you’re not saying out loud.

Additionally, be mindful of your facial expressions, as they can significantly influence social interactions. A scowl can say, “Stay away,” even if your words are welcoming. Practice maintaining a neutral or positive facial expression, especially in professional or unfamiliar social settings. This kind of awareness can really boost your personal and professional relationships.

Be Assertive, Not Aggressive

Assertiveness is about expressing your needs and opinions confidently and respectfully without stepping on toes. It’s a Goldilocks zone of communication—neither too passive nor too aggressive. Being assertive shows that you respect both yourself and others, which is a cornerstone of a strong personality.

Start by clearly stating your needs or opinions without being apologetic. For example, “I believe…” or “I would prefer…” are assertive ways to express yourself. It’s also crucial to stay calm and composed, even when discussions get heated.

When assertive, it’s important to listen as much as you speak. This balance demonstrates that you value others’ viewpoints as well, which can foster mutual respect. By practicing assertiveness, you not only stand up for yourself but also create a space where open and honest communication is encouraged.

Develop Your Sense of Humor

A good laugh can work wonders, and having a sense of humor is like having a key to everyone’s good side. It’s not about cracking jokes every minute or trying to be the class clown; it’s about seeing the light side of life and sharing a chuckle whenever you can.

When people think of you, you want them to remember the good times and laughs you’ve shared. That sort of positive association? It’s pure gold for your personality. It’s a sprinkle of charm that can turn even the dullest moment into a highlight reel.

Dress Appropriately for Different Occasions

They say clothes make the man—or woman—but it’s more than just wearing fancy threads. Dressing appropriately is about showing that you understand the vibe of each situation.

You wouldn’t wear a tuxedo to a picnic, right? Finding that perfect outfit for the occasion says, “I get it, and I’m here for it,” and people respect that.

Choosing the right clothes for each setting can be a powerful way to show that you’re thoughtful and attentive to social cues. Plus, when you look good, you often feel good, and that confidence is a winner when it comes to personality.

Learn Your Strengths and Acknowledge Them

Knowing what you’re good at is like having an ace up your sleeve. When you’re aware of your strengths, you carry yourself with a certain ease that people can’t help but admire. It’s the difference between trying to fit in and standing comfortably in your own shoes.

Take some time to reflect on past successes and identify the skills or qualities that helped you achieve them. Was it your ability to lead a team, your knack for solving complex problems, or perhaps your creative thinking? Recognize these strengths and wear them proudly—not arrogantly, but confidently.

You can also ask friends, family, or colleagues for their perspectives on your strengths. Sometimes, others see things in us that we might overlook.

Once you’ve identified these strengths, actively look for opportunities to use and develop them further. This proactive approach not only enhances your personal growth but also boosts your overall morale and effectiveness in various aspects of life.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Stepping out of your comfort zone is a bit like venturing into the unknown—it can be a thrill and, yes, a bit scary. But it’s also one of the best ways to grow. Challenging yourself with new experiences can invigorate your life and reshape your personality in surprising ways.

Every time you do something that pushes your boundaries, you expand the edges of who you are. It can lead to new friendships, opportunities, and a wealth of new tales to tell. Your personality will thank you for the zest you add to it with each new leap into the unknown.

Treat Everyone With Respect

Treating others with respect is the golden rule for a reason. It’s about valuing others, whether it’s the person delivering your mail or the CEO of your company.

Always aim to be polite, even in challenging situations. This means keeping your cool when things heat up. Using kind words and maintaining a calm demeanor can diffuse tension and lead to more constructive interactions.

When you’re the person who’s known for treating everyone well, your reputation gets a glow-up. It becomes part of your personality—a part that people remember and talk about in the best way. It’s simple: when you dish out respect, you become someone that others not only like but also look up to.

Ask How Others Perceive You

Sometimes, we need a fresh set of eyes to see things clearly, especially when it comes to understanding ourselves. It’s like when you try on an outfit—you want someone else to tell you how it looks. It’s the same with your personality.

Feedback from others helps you know what you’re doing right and what you may want to improve. The key is to listen and be ready to consider their words without taking anything too personally.

Being open on how others see you can often lead to positive changes. Plus, it shows you’re the kind of person who cares about growing and being your best self.

We Must Face Our Grief and Trauma

Life’s tough moments need to be faced head-on. It’s hard, it hurts, but working through tough emotions stops them from popping out when you least expect it. By dealing with what’s dragging you down, you can find peace and become a more rounded person.

Here are a few steps to start dealing with these tough emotions:

• Acknowledge how you feel and know it’s okay not to be okay.
• Reach out for help if things feel too heavy.
• Give yourself time. Healing doesn’t happen overnight.

Dealing with your emotions head-on can free you from past burdens and make your personality shine. It’s tough, but it can make you feel lighter and ready to face the world more positively.

Set a Goal for Something You Would Like to Change

Everyone has that one thing they’d like to change about themselves. Maybe you want to get better at time management or start exercising more. Having a goal gives you direction and purpose.

Aiming for a personal change and making it happen adds a layer of confidence and satisfaction to your personality. It’s something to be proud of, something that says, “I set my mind to it, and I did it.” And that’s a great look on anyone.

Choose the Right Circle of Friends

The people you hang out with can really influence your mood and how you see the world. It’s important to have friends who support you, lift your spirits, and encourage you to grow.

When choosing friends, look for people who share your values and interests but can also challenge you in healthy ways and push you to be your best self. It’s okay to be picky about who you spend a lot of time with.

If someone constantly brings you down or makes you feel bad about yourself, it might be time to rethink that friendship. You want friends who make you laugh, think, and feel good after hanging out with them.

Remember, truly good friends are those who want the best for you and will be there through thick and thin. These relationships will help strengthen your personality, making you feel more confident and positive about who you are.

Stay Warm and Kind to Others

Keeping a warm and kind attitude is like having a cozy campfire that people want to gather around. It’s about making a little extra effort to show others that they matter.

• Greet people with a smile. It’s a small thing that can make a big impact on someone’s day.
• Be generous with compliments. Not flattery, but genuine, “Hey, I noticed the great job you’re doing” kind of praise.
• Lend a hand without being asked. It shows you notice others and care enough to help.

The warmth and kindness you offer don’t just make others feel good—they also come back to you and shape the way others see you. Your personality becomes associated with positivity and support, and that’s the kind of reputation that can really enrich your life.

Be Opinionated (But Don’t Be a Know-It-All)

Having strong opinions can show that you’re knowledgeable and passionate, which are great traits for your personality. However, it’s important to express your opinions in a way that doesn’t make others feel inferior or shut down their own views.

Sharing your thoughts should invite conversation, not end it.

• Listen first, then speak. This shows that you respect the views of others, even if they differ from yours.
• Balance confidence with humility. Be proud of your ideas, but be ready to learn something new, too.
• Know your stuff, but also know when to admit, “I didn’t know that!”

When you strike that balance, your personality gets more depth. You become known as someone who stands for things but is also open-minded—a person who adds value to discussions without shutting down other voices. That’s a character trait most people admire and welcome.

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Excerpts from the Experts

Some people are charismatic, magnetic, and seem to glow, while many others come across as dull, downtrodden, and just plain grumpy with personalities like fingernails on a chalkboard. Why is this?

We are all made up of energy, and energy comes in the forms of many different levels of vibrations. If someone seems to “have it all” in the areas of friends, wealth, health, happiness, peace, etc., they are described as high-vibrational beings.

On the flip side, when we encounter people who are constantly grouchy and angry and do not exude any qualities of health and wellness, they are described as vibrating on lower frequencies.

If a person wants to improve their personality, they must improve their vibrational frequency.

All of the aforementioned tools and tactics can be used individually or together to really elevate a person’s vibe; however, maybe the easiest and most powerful way to begin the practice of improving your personality would be to walk each day in gratitude.

“Gratitude is the attitude.” We hear this saying so often, but it is most certainly trite and true.

Gratitude is ten times more powerful than any other emotion and ignites the entire universe to start working in your favor. It is easy to do, and it is effective. We can always find something to be grateful for.

The bottom line is if you want to improve your personality, you can do this by adding a variety of rituals into your life that elevate your frequency, so from the inside out, you glow and exhibit a more tolerable persona.

— Shayna Meyer | Founder and Creator, The Enjoyment Method

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Frequently Asked Questions

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Final Thoughts

Improving your personality is a journey, not a sprint. It’s all about taking small steps and being patient with yourself. Remember, the fact that you want to grow says a lot about who you are. Stay true to yourself, and keep at it.

So, give these tips a try. Smile a little more, listen a bit closer, and show some kindness around. Before you know it, these small things will become a big part of who you are. And trust me, both you and the folks around you will notice the difference. Now, go out there and let your awesome personality shine!