In this article, you’ll discover how to let go of the past and move on so you can lead the life you desire.
Keeping (in your life) things that hold you back is nothing less than giving up your power:
- Power to make good decisions,
- Power to connect with the right people (for you),
- Power to follow your dreams and passions.
When you don’t give up on some things, you’re, in fact, letting go of other things that could be more important.
I lost my father unexpectedly. Never before that day, I thought there is any probability for that to happen …ever. I felt crushed; and for the next five years, I couldn’t let go of his dreams and the what ifs. Instead, I give up on my dreams. You see? We have limited time, and we can’t fit in everything we want to do. So, better prioritize wisely!
Here you have Five things to Give up, Why and How to Let Go of the Past and Move On
1. Let go of self-blame, judgment, guilt
It is easy to blame, judge, and feel guilty after the fact.
It is easy since you understand now and see all the consequences. However, you’ll never know how many times you did right because in those situations nothing bad happened. You know the saying “bad news travels fast”? When you’re doing something wrong, most times you’re taxed for it; yet, when you’re doing good, rarely (or after a long time… if ever) find out!
Be less self-conscious and be more confident. You are doing the best you know how at each moment in time. Judging your former self with the knowledge and skills you have today is unfair. These phrases should be something you hang on your wall, so you never forget them:
JUDGING your former SELF with the knowledge and skills you have today is UNFAIR.
You are doing the BEST YOU KNOW HOW at each moment in time.
Letting go self-blame, judgment, and guilt is a must, not an option. Forget the past…that past that keeps you stuck; forgive yourself not because you need excuses, but because you need to build a future instead of crying for whatever happened in your life so far. Know that you’ll always find your way!
If anyone tells you: “stop comparing yourself to others” most likely you’ll do it anyway.
Our mind works by making comparisons and statistics.
When you buy a house, to guess its value, you’re comparing it to other similar homes. Is it not? When you have to take a decision, you make a statistic in your mind about the success of each action you took in the past in a similar situation.
Yes, you compare yourself to others to know your value and worth, which is not a bad thing in itself and you can’t avoid it entirely (it’s our nature). Nevertheless, what if you stop comparing yourself to excessively high standards? What if you compare yourself to other people just a bit higher than you are today with the sole purpose of knowing what to improve?
I have many clients that ask me: “How to move on from the past when I feel I’m not good enough? When I feel I’m nowhere near to where I should be compared to those around me?”
When you feel like that too, pay attention to the way you compare yourself to others, and here you have
The characteristics of productive and useful self-comparisons:
First, give it a purpose. Comparing things you can’t change about yourself (like physical traits, for example), it’s useless and detrimental to your self-esteem. Yet, it could be useful to grade a skill that you want to refine.
Second, take into account your history, locations, opportunities. Is it fair to value yourself in comparison to someone coming from privilege and wealth if you had none of those things? When had to work hard and long for every little thing you achieved?
Third, compare similar things. For instance, apple and oranges can’t be compared. Both are fruits and tasty, and the commonalities end there; beyond that, it’s a matter of subjective opinion. A doctor can’t be compared to a chef. Both are useful in their own rights.
3. Let go of lying yourself and strive to handle the truth
Lying to yourself is like stealing your own hat (being too optimistic, sometimes, it’s a trick your mind might pay on you). It makes you waste time and energy on solving imaginary problems and situations. Successful people deal only with the truth because, no matter what that truth might be, it comes with many ways and options for resolution.
First, accept things as they are and acknowledge the facts.
Second, trust and empower yourself with the confidence that you can successfully overcome any obstacles and solve any issues – you have done it so far! Have you not? Haven’t you been tested and challenged throughout your life and come out victorious each time?
Third, when things get tough, remind yourself that there is no difficulty without a solution and it’s just a matter of finding it because it’s there: relax and then, look closer!
4. Let go of regrets
If anyone is searching for a way to get stuck in the past, unable to move forward and live a fulfilled life, regrets are the fastest way to do it.
Have compassion for yourself. No one is perfect, and no one can predict the future. Thus, it is only natural (sometimes) to make mistakes, lose opportunities, and miss chances.
- Whatever information or knowledge you receive, it has to come at the right time; you must feel prepared even for the good things.
(Just think of this)Has it happened to you to read a book, for example, and to find it useless? But, then, years later, when you reread it to discover that is the most inspiring book ever?
- If you really must regret some things, regret the things you CAN change; change them; then, forget the past and move on.
(Just think of this) Has it happened to you be that angry and have that monumental outbursts that you come to regret before even finishing it? Change your way of dealing with anger and then forget your regrets.
Remember: when you’re making a positive change in your life, inadvertently, changes how you feel about past too.
5. Let go of one past victory or failure
Success is a journey paved with many trials and errors, triumphs and failures, learning and discoveries.
Don’t allow one past victory or failures to hinder your success.
Educate yourself about the ways you can achieve what you want in life and keep on moving.
Give up on those 15 minutes of glory or fiascos from the past; they shouldn’t determine the course of your life because to be happy, fulfilled, and lead an extraordinary life requires accomplishing many ordinary things.