Usually, when someone likes you, that person will make it obvious and may even tell you directly.
That’s why it can be a bit confusing when you think a guy is attracted to you, but you’re not a hundred percent sure because he’s never told you or he’s giving mixed signals!
Worry no more. Here’s how to tell if a guy secretly likes you but is trying to hide it.
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Shirley Baldwin
Entrepreneur | Certified Transformational Life Coach | Author, Get What You Want from Your Man
Trying to figure out if a guy is secretly attracted or not is almost the same as trying to figure out if he outwardly likes you. There may be a few tweaks though. Here are some signs that he really does want to be more than friends:
- He wants to spend time with you. Guys don’t just spend time with someone that they’re not in some way interested in.
- He stares at you a lot. But then when you make eye contact, he turns away.
- He asks you a lot of questions about yourself, your friends, family, likes, dislikes, etc. He’s feeling you out to see if you might be interested in him too.
- He initiates contact. Whether it’s a text, Snapchat, call or showing up in person. He always beats you to it.
- He isn’t dating anyone else but may act like he finds others attractive. This is mostly to see if you like him but also to let you know he’s into others.
- He is quick to defend you from others.
- He gets close to your friends and family.
- He calls you his best friend.
Take some notice. Why is this guy still hanging around? How does he always know what you want, or need to hear? It’s because he’s there for a reason!
Related: How to Tell If He Loves You But Is Scared
If a man is attracted to you but hiding it, you’ll recognize that he’s got an interest in you.
He might talk to you and flirt with you but then he’ll pull away
This kind of “come here, go away” game can kind of get started with men that are feeling attracted to you but aren’t confident in themselves.
They give you a lot of mixed signals and sometimes they might overly tease, or they might just actually ignore you
Whatever the spectrum is that they are on they will really create confusion. The best thing you can do is remember that the egg doesn’t chase the sperm and let him come out of hiding on his own if he chooses to. Whatever you do, don’t chase him!
Related: How to Tell if a Guy Is Confused About His Feelings for You
Adina Mahalli
Certified Mental Health Consultant, Enlightened Reality | Relationship Expert, Maple Holistics
He asks questions
If he’s asking you a lot of questions but he hasn’t mentioned that he likes you, it could be a sign that he’s attracted to you but trying to hide it. Either he’s looking for any excuse to talk to you or he’s trying to subtly get to know you better, but whichever way you look at it, there’s some definite interest there. That being said, if he’s asking you technical questions like if you could pass him the salt, don’t get carried away and assume he’s madly in love.
Body language can speak louder than words when it comes to relationships
If he’s leaning in to hear you speak when you’re in a quiet setting or he’s standing closer than necessary when you’re in the elevator, these are signs that he’s attracted to you but hiding it. Turning his body towards you is another indication that he’s trying to connect with you without openly expressing his feelings.
Related: The 10 Best Books on Body Language
Frequently Asked Questions
What are some nonverbal cues that a man is attracted to you but is hiding it?
One of the most common signs is prolonged eye contact. If you catch him staring at you and he quickly looks away when you notice, he may be trying to hide his attraction.
Another sign is if he tends to mirror your body language. If you lean forward, he may lean forward too. If you cross your legs, he may be doing the same. These are all indications that he’s subconsciously trying to connect with you.
Another nonverbal clue to watch for is if he fidgets or is nervous around you. For example, this may mean tapping his foot or playing with his hair. These actions may indicate that he feels nervous or anxious around you because he’s attracted to you. Also, he may pay more attention to his appearance around you by adjusting his shirt or fixing his hair.
Can a man hide his attraction to you if he’s already in a relationship?
It’s possible for a man who is already in a relationship to hide his attraction to you. However, it’s important to remember that this behavior isn’t acceptable and can be a red flag for the health of his current relationship.
If a man is attracted to you but hides it because he’s already in a relationship, he may try to keep his interactions with you a secret or limit them to non-romantic situations. He may also avoid physical contact with you or keep conversations strictly professional.
If you suspect a man is attracted to you but is hiding it because he’s already in a relationship, it’s important to take a step back and consider the potential consequences.
Pursuing a relationship with someone already committed to someone else can hurt and damage everyone involved. It’s best to share your feelings honestly and directly with him and let him decide for himself how to proceed.
What should I do if I want to pursue a relationship with a man who is attracted to me but is hiding it?
If you’re pursuing a relationship with a man who is attracted to you but is hiding it, the first step is to try to create opportunities for the two of you to spend more time together.
This can help him feel more comfortable and confident expressing his true feelings. Try to plan activities or outings that the two of you can enjoy together, such as going out for coffee or to the movies.
If you’re unsure if he’s interested in you romantically, you can hint that you’re open to a relationship or would like to spend more time with him. However, it’s important that you respect his feelings and boundaries.
If you’re interested in him but aren’t sure how he feels about it, it’s also okay to have an honest conversation with him about your feelings and see how he responds.
Try to approach the conversation with kindness and empathy, and be prepared to listen to his perspective as well.