Relationships | Dating

How to Tell If a Man Is Attracted to You but Hiding It (26 Signs + Expert Insights)

By Erika Maniquiz
Updated on

Do you have a feeling that a cute guy at work or school might be interested in you, but he’s too shy to make a move? It’s a common situation that many of us have found ourselves in at one point or another.

When a man is attracted to you but hiding it, it can be tough to know where you stand. That’s why we’ve put together this guide to help you recognize the signs so you can start to piece together his true feelings.

So, are you tired of playing guessing games and want to know once and for all whether he’s into you? We’ll show you how to do just that.

He Makes an Effort to Talk to You

When a man is attracted to you, he’ll find ways to communicate with you on a daily basis. This could be through text messages, phone calls, or even social media interactions. He might send you a “good morning” text or ask about your day.

It’s important to note that these conversations don’t always have to be deep or meaningful. Sometimes, he might just share a funny meme or a story about something that happened to him. Just see that he’s consistently making an effort to maintain a connection with you.

As we talked about earlier, this is one of the top signs that a man is interested in you, even if he’s not ready to fully express his feelings. So, if you find yourself chatting with him every day, it might be a pretty good indication that he’s into you.

He Finds Reasons to Be Near You

Have you ever noticed that he always seems to be nearby? Whether it’s at work, school, or social events, a man who is attracted to you will find reasons to be near and around you.

For example, he might volunteer to help you with a project at work or offer to walk you to your car after class. These small gestures allow him to spend more time with you and create opportunities for interaction.

I mean, it’s not like he’s going to come right out and say, “I want to be close to you because I like you.” Instead, he’ll find subtle ways to make it happen. So, pay attention to how often he’s around and whether it seems like he’s going out of his way to be near you.

His Attention Is Focused on You

When you’re together, if it feels like you’re the only person in the room, it’s a strong sign that he’s attracted to you. When a man is interested, he’ll give you his undivided attention, even if he’s not ready to express his feelings verbally. Here’s what this might look like:

  • He maintains eye contact with you when you’re speaking.
  • He asks follow-up questions and shows genuine interest in your thoughts and opinions.
  • He doesn’t get distracted by his phone or other people around him.

This level of focus shows that he’s invested in getting to know you and values your presence. When you’re together, everything else fades into the background.

He Wants to Spend Time With You

When a man is attracted to you, he’ll make it a priority to spend time with you. This doesn’t necessarily mean grand gestures or elaborate dates; it could be as simple as grabbing a coffee together or going for a walk in the park.

Pay attention to how often he initiates plans with you and how eager he is to make them happen. If he’s always the one suggesting activities and seems genuinely excited to spend time with you, it’s a good sign that he’s interested. I mean, think about it—we all make time for the things (and people) that matter to us, right?

He Invites You to Hang Out (Just the Two of You)

As I mentioned earlier, a man who is attracted to you will want to spend time with you. But there’s a difference between group hangouts and one-on-one time. If he’s constantly inviting you to do things with just the two of you, it’s a clear indication that he wants to get to know you.

This could look like:

  • Suggesting a movie night at his place.
  • Inviting you to grab dinner or drinks after work.
  • Planning a day trip to explore a nearby town together.
  • He picks cozy places, maybe a bit romantic, but keeps it light.

The key here is that he’s making an effort to create situations where you can spend quality time together without the distractions of other people or responsibilities. It’s a chance for him to focus solely on you and see if there’s potential for something more.

He Gets Jealous When You Mention Other Men

Jealousy is a strong emotion that can be hard to hide, even for men who are trying to play it cool. If you notice that he gets a bit tense or uncomfortable when you mention other men in your life, it’s a pretty clear sign that he has feelings for you.

This jealousy might manifest in different ways. He might:

  • Become quieter or more withdrawn when you bring up the other person.
  • Ask a lot of questions about the other guy, trying to gauge your relationship with him.
  • Make subtle (or not-so-subtle) jokes about the other man, possibly putting him down in some way.
  • Try to steer the conversation away from the other man and back to your connection with each other.

He wants your attention and affection, and the thought of you being interested in someone else can be tough for him to handle, even if he’s not ready to admit his feelings outright.

My personal take on this is that a little bit of jealousy can be kind of flattering, as long as it doesn’t cross the line into possessive or controlling behavior.

He Doesn’t Mention Other Women

He’ll likely avoid talking about other women in a romantic or sexual context. This is because he doesn’t want you to think he’s interested in anyone else, and he wants to keep the focus on your connection.

Consider this: If he constantly mentions other women he finds attractive or shares stories about his past relationships, it might make you question his interest in you. On the other hand, if he steers clear of these topics, it shows that you’re the one he’s focused on.

Of course, this doesn’t mean he’ll never mention other women at all. He might talk about female friends, colleagues, or family members. But the key difference is that he won’t discuss them in a way that suggests romantic interest or compares them to you.

He Listens Attentively When You Talk

One of the most significant signs that a man is interested in you is the way he listens when you speak. When you’re talking, here are a few signs to look for:

  • He maintains eye contact with you while you’re speaking.
  • He asks follow-up questions or shares his own thoughts on the topic.
  • He remembers details from previous conversations and brings them up later.
  • He nods along and reacts to your words with facial expressions or verbal cues.

These are clear indications that he’s genuinely interested in getting to know you better. Think about it—how often do you give your full, undivided attention to someone you’re not interested in? Probably not very often, right?

He Values Your Opinion and Asks for It

There’s something special about being asked for your opinion; If he regularly turns to you for your thoughts on everything from important life decisions to small daily choices, it suggests he’s not only interested in you but also trusts your judgment. 

He shows that your opinions matter to him through:

  • Decision-making: He doesn’t make any major decisions without seeking your thoughts.
  • Daily dilemmas: Even for the small stuff—like which movie to watch—he’s all ears for your choice.
  • Debates and discussions: He loves hearing your take on things, maybe even changing his mind based on your arguments.

He Asks Questions and Shows Genuine Interest

Building on the previous point, a man who is attracted to you will ask you questions—and not just surface-level stuff like “How was your day?” but deeper, more meaningful questions that show he wants to know you. For example:

  • He might ask about your passions, hobbies, and goals in life.
  • He’ll be curious about your thoughts on various topics, from the serious to the silly topics.
  • He’ll want to know about your family, your childhood, and the experiences that have shaped you.

I think this is one of the most revealing signs of attraction because it shows that he’s invested in you as a person. He wants to know your story, your quirks, and your desires because he’s drawn to you, even if he’s not yet ready to tell it directly.

"If he’s asking you a lot of questions but he hasn’t mentioned that he likes you, it could be a sign that he’s attracted to you but trying to hide it. 

Either he’s looking for any excuse to talk to you or he’s trying to subtly get to know you better, but whichever way you look at it, there’s some definite interest there. 

That being said, if he’s asking you technical questions like if you could pass him the salt, don’t get carried away and assume he’s madly in love."

— Adina Mahalli | Certified Mental Health Consultant, Enlightened Reality | Relationship Expert, Maple Holistics

He Remembers Small Details About You

Okay, can I just say that this one is my personal favorite? There’s something so incredibly sweet and touching about someone remembering the little things you’ve shared with them.

When a man is attracted to you, he’ll make a mental note of the details you share, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. This might include:

  • Your favorite color, food, or movie.
  • A funny story you told about your childhood pet.
  • The name of your best friend or the town where you grew up.
  • That you prefer tea over coffee or that you’re allergic to peanuts.

He Flirts and Teases You

Flirting and teasing are classic signs of attraction, and even when a man is trying to hide his feelings, these behaviors might slip out. Pay attention to the way he interacts with you—does he playfully tease you about your quirks or habits? Does he make flirty jokes or comments?

Now, it’s important to note that not all men flirt in the same way. Some guys might be bold and direct, while others are more subtle and understated in their approach. But regardless of his style, if he’s consistently finding ways to flirt with you and get a laugh or a smile out of you, it’s a good sign that he’s attracted to you.

He Compliments You

Who doesn’t love a good compliment? When a man is attracted to you, he’ll likely find ways to express his admiration for you, both in terms of your physical appearance and your personal qualities or achievements. For example:

  • He might tell you that you look beautiful or that he loves your outfit.
  • He’ll praise your intelligence, creativity, or sense of humor.
  • He’ll congratulate you on your successes at work or in your personal life.
  • He’ll appreciate you for your kindness, compassion, or other positive traits.

These compliments show that he’s paying attention to you. Of course, it’s important to note that some compliments are not okay. If his compliments feel generic, insincere, or overly focused on your physical appearance, that might be a red flag.

But if his compliments feel specific, heartfelt, and balanced between appreciating your looks and your inner qualities, it’s a good sign that his attraction to you is true.

He Makes Eye Contact and Holds Your Gaze

Eyes are incredibly expressive, and they can tell you a lot about how someone feels about you. When a man is attracted to you, he’ll likely make an effort to catch your eye and hold your gaze during conversations. This might look like:

  • Locking eyes with you across the room and smiling.
  • Glancing at you frequently when you’re in a group setting.
  • Maintaining eye contact during one-on-one conversations.
  • Holding your gaze for a beat longer than strictly necessary.

It’s worth noting that some people are naturally more comfortable with eye contact than others. But in general, if he’s making an effort to connect with you through his gaze, it’s a good indication that he’s attracted to you, even if he’s not quite ready to say it out loud.

He Goes Out of His Way to Help You

When a man is attracted to you, he’ll want to show you that he cares about your well-being and happiness. One way he might do this is by going out of his way to help you, even when it’s not strictly necessary or convenient for him.

This could manifest in various ways, such as:

  • Offering to carry your heavy bags or packages.
  • Bringing you soup and medicine when you’re sick.
  • Helping you move furniture or tackle a home improvement project.
  • Giving you a ride when your car is in the shop, or you’re running late.

I think this is one of the most heartwarming signs of attraction because it shows he wants to be there for you and help you in any way he can. It’s a way of showing that you’re a priority to him, even if he’s not quite ready to express his feelings directly.

He Responds to Your Texts Promptly

In today’s digital age, texting has become an important form of communication, especially in the early stages of a relationship. When a man is attracted to you, he’ll likely make an effort to respond to your texts promptly and keep the conversation going.

Now, I’m not saying he’ll always reply within seconds or drop everything to text you back. We all have lives and responsibilities outside of our romantic interests. But if you consistently notice that he’s quick to respond to your messages and keep the conversation flowing, it’s a good sign that you’re on his mind.

Pay attention to the content of his texts as well. Does he ask you questions about your day or your thoughts on various topics? Does he send you funny memes or pictures that remind him of you? These are all subtle ways of showing that he’s invested in you.

He Tries to Impress You With His Accomplishments

Any guy would want to present himself in the best possible light. One way he might do this is by sharing his accomplishments and successes with you to impress you and show you what he’s capable of.

For example, he might casually mention a big project he’s working on at his job or talk about a recent adventure he went on with his friends. He might share stories about his athletic prowess or his musical talents.

Remember: There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogant bragging. If he’s constantly putting others down to make himself look better, that’s a red flag. But if he’s simply sharing his successes and passions with you, he wants you to see the best in him.

He Can’t Help but Smile Around You

Have you ever noticed how his face lights up when you walk into the room? Or how he seems to be grinning from ear to ear whenever you’re together? This is one of the most unmistakable signs of attraction.

When we’re around someone we’re attracted to, our bodies release feel-good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, which can lead to an urge to smile. It’s like our facial muscles can’t help but express the joy and excitement we feel in that person’s presence.

Of course, some people are naturally more smiley than others, so it’s important to consider the context and the individual. But if you consistently notice that he is beaming whenever you’re around, and his smile seems genuine, it’s a pretty strong sign that he’s feeling the attraction vibes.

He Mirrors Your Body Language and Gestures

Mirroring is a subconscious behavior that we often engage in when we’re attracted to someone. It involves mimicking the other person’s body language, gestures, and even speech patterns as a way of establishing rapport and connection.

So, if you notice that your guy is consistently mirroring your movements and mannerisms, it’s a good indication that he’s attracted to you, even if he’s not ready to say it out loud. For example:

  • When you laugh, he laughs along with you.
  • When you cross your legs, he crosses his legs.
  • When you lean forward, he leans forward too.
  • When you use a particular gesture or phrase, he starts using it too.
"Body language can speak louder than words when it comes to relationships. If he’s leaning in to hear you speak when you’re in a quiet setting or he’s standing closer than necessary... these are signs that he’s attracted to you but hiding it. 

Turning his body towards you is another indication that he’s trying to connect with you without openly expressing his feelings."

— Adina Mahalli | Certified Mental Health Consultant, Enlightened Reality | Relationship Expert, Maple Holistics

He Introduces You to His Friends or Family

Being introduced to his friends and family is a big step. When he takes this step, it means he’s comfortable enough with you and sees a potential future where you blend into other important aspects of his life.

Key moments to be aware of include:

  • The type of events: He’s bringing you to personal, not just public or casual, gatherings.
  • The follow-up: His friends or family seem to know about you already, which means he talks about you.
  • The ease of introductions: He does it naturally as if it’s second nature for him to have you among his peeps.

He Laughs at Your Jokes (Even the Bad Ones)

When we laugh together, we create a sense of shared joy and connection that can be incredibly bonding. If your guy is always cracking up at your jokes, even the ones that fall a little flat, it’s a sign that he’s completely into you. Look out for how:

  • His face lights up with a grin whenever you start to tell a joke like he’s already anticipating the punchline.
  • He’s your biggest fan and cheerleader, even when it comes to your most cringe-worthy attempts at humor.
  • He remembers your jokes and references them later, showing that he’s always paying attention to what you say.

He Makes Jokes About Liking You

Have you ever noticed how he seems to slip little jokes or comments about being into you into your conversations? Like, he might teasingly say something like, “If I were your boyfriend…” or “Watch out, you might make me fall for you if you keep being so charming!” These playful remarks could be his way of hinting at his attraction without coming right out and saying it.

I think this is a clever tactic because it allows him to test the waters and see your reaction without putting himself too far out there. If you respond positively or even joke back with him, it gives him the green light to keep exploring that flirty dynamic.

But if you seem uncomfortable, he can always play it off as friendly banter and avoid awkwardness.

He Finds Excuses to Touch You Briefly

Touch is a form of nonverbal communication, and when a man is attracted to you, he might find subtle ways to make physical contact, even if he’s not ready to make a bold move. This could be as simple as:

  • Brushing your arm or shoulder as he reaches for something.
  • Touching the small of your back as he guides you through a crowded room.
  • High-fiving you or giving you a playful nudge when you make a joke.
  • Hugging you hello or goodbye, even if it’s not strictly necessary.

He Checks You Out When You’re Not Looking

Okay, this one might be a little harder to spot, but if you catch him sneaking glances at you when he thinks you’re not paying attention, it could be a major sign of attraction. Think about it—when you’re into someone, it’s hard not to admire them.

So, how can you tell if he’s checking you out? Here are a few clues:

  • You feel his gaze on you, even when you’re not directly interacting.
  • He compliments your appearance or notices when you change something about your look.
  • His friends or other people in the room seem to notice and maybe even tease him about it.
  • You catch him quickly looking away or pretending to be focused on something else when you turn towards him.

Now, it’s worth noting that there’s a difference between appreciative glances and creepy staring. If his looks feel respectful and admiring, that’s a good sign. But if he’s leering at you or making you feel uncomfortable, that’s definitely not okay.

He Seems Nervous in Your Presence

When we’re around someone we’re attracted to, our bodies can go into “fight or flight” mode, releasing adrenaline and other hormones that can make us feel jittery, anxious, or even a bit sweaty.

This is especially true if we’re trying to hide or suppress those feelings, as the effort to appear calm and collected can sometimes backfire and make us seem even more nervous. Some common signs of nervousness to look out for:

  • Sweating or trembling.
  • Blushing or appearing flushed.
  • Fidgeting with hands or objects.
  • Stammering or tripping over words.
  • Avoiding direct eye contact or darting eyes.

He Gives You Mixed Signals, Sometimes Overly Teasing or Ignoring You

Okay, this one can be a bit frustrating and confusing, but hear me out. Sometimes, when a guy is attracted to you but not quite ready to make a move, he might send some mixed signals that leave you scratching your head.

One minute, he’s all flirty and attentive, the next he’s aloof and distant. What gives? Well, there could be a few reasons for this hot-and-cold behavior:

  • He’s not entirely sure what he wants yet, so his behavior is a reflection of his inner confusion and ambivalence.
  • He’s trying to gauge your interest and see how you react to his teasing or distance so he can calibrate his approach.
  • He’s nervous about his feelings and doesn’t want to come on too strong, so he overcompensates by pulling back sometimes.

If you find yourself in this situation, my advice is to pay attention to the overall pattern of his behavior, not just the individual moments of warmth or coldness. As we’ve talked about before, attraction can make people act in all sorts of confusing ways.

But if your guy consistently sends mixed messages and leaves you guessing about his intentions, it might be time to have an honest conversation about where you stand—or to focus your energy on someone who’s a little more direct and decisive in their feelings.

"He might talk to you and flirt with you but then he’ll pull away. This kind of “come here, go away” game can kind of get started with men that are feeling attracted to you but aren’t confident in themselves.

They give you a lot of mixed signals and sometimes they might overly tease, or they might just actually ignore you. Whatever the spectrum is that they are on they will really create confusion. 

The best thing you can do is remember that the egg doesn’t chase the sperm and let him come out of hiding on his own if he chooses to. Whatever you do, don’t chase him!"

— Dr. Sherrie Campbell | Psychologist | Author, But It’s Your Family

More Insights from the Expert

“Trying to figure out if a guy is secretly attracted or not is almost the same as trying to figure out if he outwardly likes you. There may be a few tweaks, though. Here are some signs that he really does want to be more than friends:

  • He wants to spend time with you. Guys don’t just spend time with someone that they’re not in some way interested in.
  • He stares at you a lot. But then, when you make eye contact, he turns away.
  • He asks you a lot of questions about yourself, your friends, family, likes, dislikes, etc. He’s feeling you out to see if you might be interested in him, too.
  • He initiates contact. Whether it’s a text, Snapchat, call or showing up in person. He always beats you to it.
  • He isn’t dating anyone else but may act like he finds others attractive. This is mostly to see if you like him but also to let you know he’s into others.
  • He is quick to defend you from others.
  • He gets close to your friends and family.
  • He calls you his best friend.

Take some notice. Why is this guy still hanging around? How does he always know what you want or need to hear? It’s because he’s there for a reason!”

— Shirley Baldwin | Entrepreneur | Certified Transformational Life Coach | Author, Get What You Want from Your Man

Frequently Asked Questions

Why would a man hide his attraction?

There could be many reasons. He might be afraid of rejection, lack confidence in himself, unsure of your feelings, or worried about complicating a friendship.

Sometimes, personal or professional circumstances might make him hesitant to reveal his feelings openly.

What should I do if I’m also interested in a man who seems attracted to me but won’t say it?

You can reciprocate his subtle behaviors to let him know you’re also interested. Be engaging, open, and warm during your interactions.

If you feel comfortable, you can take a more direct approach and communicate your feelings. This might give him the confidence to open up about his own feelings.

Could he just be friendly without romantic interest?

Yes, some behaviors, like being helpful or engaging in conversation, could just be signs of friendship. It’s important to look for patterns and multiple signals rather than relying on a single action before drawing any conclusions about romantic interest.

Can I ask him about his feelings directly?

Yes, if you’re comfortable with a direct conversation, it’s perfectly okay to ask him about his feelings. However, be prepared for all possible responses, including the chance that he might not be ready to share or his feelings may be different from what you expected.

How long should I wait for him to reveal his attraction before moving on?

It depends on your personal comfort level and situation. Consider how much his potential feelings matter to you and how this state of uncertainty affects your well-being.

If you feel you’ve given enough time and the ambiguity is causing you distress, it may be healthy to consider moving on.

Final Thoughts

It’s never easy to tell if someone is hiding their feelings, but paying attention to these signs can help. From the way he talks to you to the way he acts when you’re around, there are plenty of clues that can help you see how he really feels.

But remember, every guy is different, and not everyone will show their attraction in the same way. What you can do is trust your gut and don’t be afraid to take things slow. If he’s truly interested in you, he’ll find a way to let you know when he’s ready.

Until then, enjoy getting to know him better and see where things go!

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Erika Maniquiz

Erika Maniquiz is a certified teacher and librarian with a Library and Information Science degree. She cherishes the calm moments reading books as much as the dynamic discussions she has in her classroom. Beyond her career, she is a fan of Kdrama and loves Kpop's lively beats.