The signs that a man is secretly attracted to you are not always obvious.
So here’s a list of more than 30 different ways he might show interest in you, according to dating and relationship experts.
Table of Contents
- Sign #1: He’s nervous around you
- Sign #2: The physical contact is obvious
- Sign #3: He stands closer to you than he normally would if he’s just being friendly
- Sign #4: He gets jealous
- Sign #5: He can’t take his eyes off of you
- Sign #6: He becomes overly chatty
- Sign #7: He’s vying for your attention
- Sign #8: He’ll stare at you and look away as soon as you make eye contact
- Sign #9: He’ll become more self-conscious
- Sign #10: He’ll find ways to talk to you
- Sign #11: He’ll make you laugh
- Sign #12: He tells you personal details about himself
- Sign #13: He will have an open body posture around you
- Sign #14: He repeats what you do
- Sign #15: He’ll blush when you are around
- Sign #16: He is always available to meet you
- Sign #17: He is responsive to messages
- Sign #18: He’s engaged during conversations
- Sign #19: His body language won’t lie
- Sign #20: He showers you with too many compliments
- Sign #21: He jokes a lot when he’s around you
- Sign #22: He is flirting with you
- Sign #23: He does acts of service
- Sign #24: Noticeable social media behavior
- Sign #25: He’s always around
- Sign #26: He always laughs at your jokes
- Sign #27: He goes out of his way for you
- Sign #28: Look at where his feet are pointing
- Sign #29: He starts getting self-conscious
- Sign #30: He mirrors and mimics your gestures
- Sign # 31: He’s into you if he makes you coffee without even asking
- Gather some courage and ask him face-to-face
- Frequently Asked Questions
- What should I do if I suspect that someone is attracted to me?
- Is it possible for someone to keep their attraction hidden?
- Can attraction develop over time even if there are no initial signs?
- What if I’m not sure if I’m attracted to someone who seems interested in me?
- What if I suspect someone is attracted to me, but I’ve no romantic interest in the person?
Dating and Relationship Coach | Co-Founder, Black Book Basics
Here are a few signs I’ve recognized:
Sign #1: He’s nervous around you
Men turn into shy little schoolboys around someone they’re interested in. Fidgeting, stammering over words, nervous ticks, and blushing—some purely can’t hide the fact they have a crush on you.
Sign #2: The physical contact is obvious
Any chance they can get to touch you, they will. Putting their hand on the small of your back while opening the door for you or gently placing their hand on your shoulder while showing you something on your computer, they will be touchy with the one they have eyes for.
Sign #3: He stands closer to you than he normally would if he’s just being friendly
Four feet is common for the workplace, church, and for the bottomless pit called the friend zone. If they broach the four feet space, they definitely think about you as more than a friend.
Sign #4: He gets jealous
If she mentions another guy, he’ll have an unnerved or disheveled look on his face if he’s jealous. Or he’ll start prying for information about this new guy.
Sign #5: He can’t take his eyes off of you
You’re filling up your water bottle in the break room, and they almost suffer from third-degree burns as they spill coffee on themselves because they were eyeing you up and down.
Sign #6: He becomes overly chatty
Some men are overly chatty around women they’re attracted to. They can’t stop talking! Their nerves are getting the best of them, and they can’t bite their tongue. They’re a total chatterbox.
Sign #7: He’s vying for your attention
He’ll be doing extra things he wouldn’t do for anyone else, acting different, putting a higher premium on her attention. He’ll treat her like she’s slightly better and more interesting than everyone else.
Love Coach | Founder, Tantra Love Coach Miami
Men can be very different to understand. They often don’t show too many signs to display that he’s attracted to you. After all, they don’t want to be creepy and want to have things under control. But if you see this sign in a man when he’s near, you can almost guarantee that he’s secretly attracted to you.
Sign #8: He’ll stare at you and look away as soon as you make eye contact
It’s one of the most noticed traits in a man who likes someone. They will stare at you for a long time, but as soon as you make eye contact, he’ll turn his head or look away. He’ll do it just to avoid being creepy and awkward. But deep inside, chances are he’s secretly attracted to you.
Sign #9: He’ll become more self-conscious
If a man likes a girl, he tends to become more self-conscious around her. He’ll try to be the best version of himself. He’ll react to the finest details. Most often, guys won’t take care of themselves.
But when he’s attracted to you, he’ll probably follow a skincare routine, dress nicely, have a good vibe. After all, he’s trying to get your attention. He’ll fix his hair too often and adjust his posture constantly.
Sign #10: He’ll find ways to talk to you
This is a huge deal. Guys only talk to someone who they really need to or want to. If he’s constantly talking to you whenever he’s getting a chance, it’s a sign that he’s attached to you. He’ll be very nice when talking and agree with you more.
He’ll use comforting vocabulary when talking to you. He uses heart emojis and other things that signify that he might like you. But don’t assume he likes you just because he uses sweet emojis and talks to you nicely. There should be other signs as well with this sign to make sure he’s really attracted to you.
Sign #11: He’ll make you laugh
If you pay attention, you’ll notice that he cracks jokes quite often to make you smile. It might happen that he laughs at your jokes when nobody else does. He would do everything in his power to impress you.
Sign #12: He tells you personal details about himself
Guys usually don’t share personal details with others. After all, they have to maintain that manly and masculine attitude. If he shares his personal details with you, it’s a clear sign that he is attracted to you.
They may even share their flaws or setbacks but in a slightly casual way. They’ll also try to keep the conversation going by asking you things about yourself.
Sign #13: He will have an open body posture around you
A person reveals a lot of things about them and their feelings subconsciously without knowing through body language. Having an open body posture means he’s interested in you and open to your suggestions.
If they have their legs uncrossed, it can be a strong indication that he likes you. Also, check to see if they make eye contact with you or if their palms are unturned — these show open body language. This rule applies to both men and women.
Sign #14: He repeats what you do
If a guy is secretly attracted to you, he’ll copy your body posture, Hand gesture, and head movement. For Example, if you tilt to your right, he’ll also tilt to the right. This is a subconscious sign that he’s attached to you and imitates what you do.
Sign #15: He’ll blush when you are around
We can control our emotions in almost every situation, but we always mess up when it comes to that one special person. But you can always notice the rosy cheeks when he is shy in front of you. And the more self-conscious he becomes about it, the more he starts to blush.
If these signs are present in a guy, there is a great chance that he’s secretly attracted to you. He’ll try everything to make you happy. He’ll move mountains just to get your attention.
Always remember a man who truly loves you would always understand and respect you.
Dr. Brenda Wade
Clinical Psychologist | Relationship Advisor, Online For Love
When you sit down, do you notice when he looks your way? Are you starting to wonder if he is interested in you? Maybe he is; perhaps he is not.
Here’s a “cheat sheet” that may gauge whether he is attracted to you.
Sign #16: He is always available to meet you
A man who likes you will make himself available to you. If the answer is yes, each time you ask him out for coffee or lunch, it’s obvious he may be attracted to you.
Sign #17: He is responsive to messages
This can be through text, Facebook, Instagram, email, or whatever. This is a good litmus test; if he always responds quickly to your messages, he likes you.
Sign #18: He’s engaged during conversations
As you carry on a conversation, pay close attention to his mannerisms for clues on his level of interest. If he’s feeling you, he will be very attentive and engage during the conversation.
Sign #19: His body language won’t lie
One’s body language doesn’t lie. So if he includes prolonged eye contact, lots of smiles, leans towards you, and gets closer into your personal space, he may be physically attracted to you.
Related: Why is Body Language Important?
PR Manager, My Speech Class
When it comes to interacting with the male gender, one has to look out for signs for virtually everything because most guys aren’t forthcoming with their intentions. Only a select few make their intentions known.
So you may think this guy is secretly attracted to you, but how can you really tell if you don’t pay attention to how he behaves around you and the things he says. If any of these signs seem familiar to you, then he’s secretly attracted to you.
Sign #20: He showers you with too many compliments
When a guy showers you with too many compliments every time he sees you, from how you wear your hair to the color of your dress to how you smile, then this is a sign.
Guys don’t go about complimenting just anyone; they’re deliberate about who they compliment and how they compliment.
Sign #21: He jokes a lot when he’s around you
If he jokes a lot when he’s around you like he would when he’s hanging out with his guys, then he’s attracted to you. This goes to show that he’s comfortable being around you. The jokes may not be so funny but seeing you giggle and laugh at his jokes, and funny faces makes him more attracted to you.
Sign #22: He is flirting with you
This sign can be very confusing because you’re unsure if he’s flirting for fun or getting your attention. Whichever one you think it is, just play along to see his reaction.
If he maintains strong eye contact with you when he’s talking to you or casually holds your hand or waist, he is secretly attracted.
Sign #23: He does acts of service
Does he always offer you a helping hand? Is he always available when you reach out to him? Does he show up like Superman whenever you need help? Then this is a sign that he’s secretly attracted to you.
How many guys do you know will leave what they’re doing or cancel their plans to come over to assist you? Not many.
Does he constantly like all the pics you post on Instagram, leaving comments with the rose, heart, or love-struck emoji or flirting with you in the DM? Then he’s attracted to you.
You’ll be surprised to know that some guys make sure the notification for your social media posts are turned on so that they can stay up-to-date on what you post. If he posts you on his social media on your birthday with a cheesy caption or on his Snapchat stories, the dude is really attracted to you!
At the end of the day, if you’re not comfortable with any of his advances, you can simply avoid him or ignore him. However, if you’re feeling him, give him a chance and have fun!
Relationship and Style Editor, Galtelligence
When we start liking someone, we can feel overwhelmed that we try to keep the feelings at bay as much as possible. So, when someone likes us, it’s the same for them. However, no matter how much one person hides their attraction, some signs will give the interest away.
Here are three signs he’s secretly attracted to you:
Sign #25: He’s always around
If you notice that he’s always wherever you are, he’s always there; then it can be a sign. He finds ways to be around you, so it’s natural that you always see him around. Even if there seems to be no reason for him to be where you are, and he’s there, it’s clear as day. He likes you.
Sign #26: He always laughs at your jokes
Sometimes, our jokes can be a hit or miss. Deep inside, we know when our jokes are corny. But when you notice that he always laughs at your jokes, even when they’re not even good, then he’s attracted to you, alright. Let’s admit it. We won’t laugh if the joke isn’t funny unless we’re into them.
Sign #27: He goes out of his way for you
If he goes out of his way and makes an effort to do things for you, there’s no more apparent sign. We only go out of our way for the people we care about.
Appreciate these signs when you notice them, but it’s always better to ask upfront to be sure. Seeing the signs isn’t always a certain way to know. Enjoy your positive moments with the guy, and make sure to make lasting memories.
Life Coach | Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief, The Best Ever Guide to Life
Men express themselves differently. Some are more transparent, while some prefer to be more discreet and direct. Whatever it is, there are generally some universal tell-tale signs that suggest he might be attracted to you. Watch out for his body language.
Sign #28: Look at where his feet are pointing
He may act uninterested and aloof. Still, you get a certain vibe that he is drawn to you. It may be because you feel that his body is always inclined to face your direction, and that is usually signified by his feet and legs. When you two are interacting with a group, see whether his feet and legs are pointing towards you.
Sign #29: He starts getting self-conscious
When you enter the room, does he suddenly get unusually quiet? Does he seem distracted and stops midway in his sentence? Perhaps you notice that he’s starting to preen his hair. Yes, those are signs that he might like you.
Sign #30: He mirrors and mimics your gestures
You and him are part of a group zoom meeting; you started to yawn, and then you noticed he started to yawn too. Perhaps you folded your arms. Across the screen, you see him do the same.
Mimicking someone’s gestures is a subconscious impulse that indicates the amount of attention being paid, even if it’s not outwardly obvious.
CEO & Founder, Home Grounds
It may have taken me some time, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized what signs I use to show someone that I am attracted to them, which apply to many individuals as sure signals that someone is into you.
Sign # 31: He’s into you if he makes you coffee without even asking
This one, for me, is a no-brainer. Coffee is the ultimate love language. If he’s waking up early to start brewing a pot of coffee before you’ve even woken up, then you know for sure he likes you. Bonus points if he brings you the coffee in bed along with breakfast.
When he likes you, he’ll know exactly the way you like your coffee and will have paid close enough attention to not have to ask twice.
If he’s attracted to you, he doesn’t hesitate to introduce you to his friends.
This may seem like an obvious one, but if he is willing to introduce you to his friends early on, you will get a sense that he is proud of you. Be wary of a guy who either doesn’t have friends or claims they are never available to meet up. You want to be with a guy who is ready to show you off.
Creative Manager, Home Garden HQ
There are things in life that we badly wanted but are unsure if it’s the right thing to get our hands into. But when we’re presented with signs, our perspective changes and hope is planted, just as like getting to know if a guy is secretly attracted to you.
While getting him to ask you out is not yet an option, you’re only left with finding the signs that he’s into you. As someone who used to be a bachelor, I know exactly how to know that we’re attracted to a girl—secretly.
Gather some courage and ask him face-to-face
Looking for hints will only prolong the process, and you shouldn’t bet on your gut feelings nor your guessing ability either. To be precise, your best shot here is to gather some courage and then ask him face-to-face.
Why look for some signs or clues if he’s secretly into you when you can quickly confirm it yourself? When you asked him head-on, there’s no more guessing game.
Right away, you’ll definitely find out whether your hunches are true or he’s just not really into you. Based on my past experiences, dropping some hints never led me to let a girl realize that I’m into her secretly. But there was once a time that I was really flattered when one girl just asked me directly if I’m attracted to her.
You girls need to understand that men just love being asked out as much as you do. So if you’re really into a guy and want to speed things up, asking him how he feels is one surefire way to get things smoothly.
That being said, you need to understand that men are just naturally not good at expressing their feelings towards the opposite sex. But the good thing is, they’re definitely not good at hiding it either. No matter how shy or stupid, a guy is, there will always be a sign for you to look on.
But if you’re really not good at spotting those signs, then your last resort would be to ask him directly. With it, there will be no more guessing at all.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do if I suspect that someone is attracted to me?
If you think he’s attracted to you, the best thing you can do is tell him honestly how you feel and wait to see how he responds. However, if you’re interested in exploring a possible romantic relationship with someone who is attracted to you, here are some possible next steps:
• Try spending more time with the person in casual situations, such as group outings or coffee dates.
• Flirt back or return their compliments without overdoing it or embarrassing them.
• Ask them questions about their interests, goals, or personal life and actively listen to their responses.
• Initiate physical contact in a way that feels comfortable and appropriate for you, such as a hug or touching their arm during the conversation.
• Be mindful of your feelings and boundaries, and don’t feel obligated to pursue a relationship if you’re not interested.
• Be prepared that the other person may not feel the same way or may not be ready for a relationship.
Yes, it’s possible for someone to hide their attraction from another person because they’re socially anxious, afraid of rejection, or afraid to express themselves. If this is the case, it’s important to take things slowly and understand that the person may need time and space before they can fully express their feelings.
Can attraction develop over time even if there are no initial signs?
Yes, it’s entirely possible for attraction to grow and develop over time, even if there are no immediate signs of romantic interest. Sometimes people are unaware of their own feelings or may be hesitant to express them for various reasons, such as shyness, uncertainty, or fear of rejection.
What if I’m not sure if I’m attracted to someone who seems interested in me?
It’s okay to take some time to be clear about your own feelings before deciding whether to enter into a relationship with someone who seems attracted to you. Here are some strategies you can use:
• Think about your own values, priorities, and goals and consider whether the person aligns with them.
• Pay attention to how you feel around this person and whether you enjoy spending time with them.
• Consider your past experiences with relationships and whether you have any patterns or habits that might influence your decision.
• Talk to trusted friends or family members who know you well and ask their perspectives on the situation.
• Be honest with the other person if you’re unsure, and let them know you need some time to think things over.
Remember that it’s perfectly normal to feel unsure or hesitant when it comes to matters of the heart. Take things at your own pace, and don’t feel pressured to make a decision before you’re ready.
What if I suspect someone is attracted to me, but I’ve no romantic interest in the person?
It can be difficult to deal with a situation where someone is attracted to you, but you don’t feel the same way. Here are some tips on how you can handle this situation with grace and kindness:
• Be honest and direct with the other person about your feelings, but also be respectful and empathetic. Let them know that you appreciate their interest but that you don’t see them in a romantic way.
• Avoid leading them on or giving mixed signals, such as flirting or accepting invitations to go on a date.
• Try to maintain a friendly and cordial relationship, but also watch your boundaries and avoid raising false hopes.
• Give the other person space and time to process their feelings; don’t expect them to immediately turn off their attraction to you.
• Don’t feel guilty or responsible for the other person’s feelings, but do your best to be compassionate and understanding.
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