Confessing your feelings to someone can be quite tricky. After all, you never know what the outcome could be.
So, we asked experts to give us their insights on how to tell someone that we like them.
Dating Expert at DatingScout.com
Don’t make a big deal out of it
Before confessing your feelings, you would most likely 100% overthink things first. You would worry about ruining friendships, things going wrong, or even make a really cheesy scenario just like in the movies.
The thing is, you shouldn’t be too dramatic about it. Once you decide to tell what you feel to the other person, don’t freak yourself out that you end up chickening out of it.
Just know that you will either get a date or just continue as friends. Don’t set yourself up to fall. Having feelings for the other person is completely normal. Be mature about it. They either feel the same or they don’t. Life goes on.
Just take a deep breath, be direct, and confidently say what and how you feel about the person you like. The great way to convince them is to sound confident and sure.
Otherwise, how would you convince them if you, yourself, do not sound like you believe what you are actually saying? Plus, they are more likely to respond to you if you are upfront with what you want. Be brave and be transparent.
Wait for the right time
It’s always better to pour yourself out to another person at the right moment with the best timing. Make sure that what you’re feeling is true before you dive headfirst into telling them that you like them. Remember that there is no such thing as perfect timing, just the right one.
Love confessions do not require the grandest dates or the best poems, but a heart that is ready to accept whatever response their special someone might have after telling them how they truly feel.
Keep it natural
It will be very tempting, but there is no need to rehearse every line. Doing this will only make you stutter and grasp for the next word when you get nervous.
Keep it natural. You know what you want to say by heart. Just be clear about your intentions. After saying what you feel, you need to tell them your intentions to avoid misunderstandings and confusion. The simpler you keep it, the better.
Make them feel comfortable
As you confess, never make your special one feel like they are being cornered. Give them time to think about it. If you are rejected, accept defeat gracefully. Do not risk losing your friendship over a rejection. Show that you respect their decision so there won’t be a cloud of awkwardness the next time you see each other.
Lisa K. Stephenson
Author | Dating Coach | Entrepreneur | Public Speaker
Telling a crush you like them can be a nerve-wracking experience, but why does it have to be? For all species whether man or woman, this can simply be due to a fear of rejection. But here is a list of surefire ways you can overcome this fear and find yourself in the arms of the one you like.
Exuding confidence is number one on this list because although many people say they are, they aren’t. Showing how confident you are does not mean you have to be arrogant, this can mean that you are not desperate, nor are you afraid of rejection because you are confident enough to know that if things do not pan out the way you have anticipated then it is not the end all to be all. The last thing you want to do is tell a crush how you feel, only for the feelings to not be reciprocated and then you grovel.
Admitting your emotions should be coupled with understanding and learning your emotions first. A person who is in-tuned with themselves emotionally can articulate their feelings fairly easy, which in turn almost always leads to a happy and successful union should the two of you find yourselves on the same page amorously.
Confidence and self-awareness meet friendship. It is important that you never allow yourself to expect anything from anyone who is not obligated to you in any form or fashion. Expectation, as they say almost always, leads to disappointment.
Telling someone you like them, does not mean they should feel obligated to return the feelings. Be confident in knowing that they may not feel the same, however, you can find someone else. Also, have enough self-awareness to know that you are articulating your emotions correctly and without threat.
Laying it all on the table leaving no room for misinterpretation or omission. This is the second layer of your emotional defenses that you will want to be conscious of, being honest means you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable and sometimes, well, almost all of the time that is all it takes.
Let it go, a person with too much pride will never acquire their wants in life especially when it comes to seeking out companionship. I have heard many stories of guys feeling too prideful, waiting for a woman they find attractive to approach and speak first giving off some form of indication they are first interested.
Now men are hunters and if you do not hunt, you cannot capture any rewards. Women on the other hand, when seeking out your crush, do not allow yourself to play it cool and stand on the sidelines; many stories of relationships have begun with women approaching men.
Therapist and Relationship Expert
Communicate beyond language and words
There are so many ways to communicate beyond language and words and that is with energy! If you like someone and want them to know – you can try these energy techniques:
- Smile with your heart, and with your eyes and hold the pose. The eyes are the window to the soul and can say what is often hard to say. If you keep your attention on the person you care about- they will silently get the message. They will feel it and know that you care.
- Find out what the person loves. Let’s suppose you know the person loves a certain coffee, you can bring them a cup one day. This shows that you are thinking of them and that speaks volumes. When you go that extra mile and you are truly listening, the person will feel touched and will take notice. Really listening and really hearing what someone likes and cares about – is the best way to communicate that you are interested.
Related: How to Show Someone You Love Them
- Don’t talk about yourself. Ask the person you care about how they are and be interested in what they think and feel. Too often we say words and ask questions and rush through that, so the conversation can get back to you. Stop talking and be interested in the other person.
- Stop the small talk and go right to what matters most to them. “I read your article, or you are so talented at …..” Be authentic and stop the games. If you hold the energy of truth and integrity- it will carry and reach the person you like.
Clinical Psychotherapist and Relationship Expert
It is such an exciting part of the progression of a relationship to reveal that your feelings have grown. To reveal that you’re so interested that you’re willing to reveal your like. There is a lot to be said for the classics.
Notes and just saying it never goes out of style. Simplicity in something that can be so complicated is often be appreciated. Grand gestures are cool, and for some, they’re a standard. However, I always recommend people set a standard they’re willing to keep up and make sure you don’t raise the emotional stakes too quickly.
Say it in person
Here are a few basics tho… If you’re going to say it, say it in person. It will sound like I’m talking to teenagers but you’d be surprised. Say it where you can look them in the eyes. See how they feel and know how to proceed. None of this phone call or sending a friend business.
If you’re shy.. it’s time to move forward. Who knows? it might be worth it. If you’re expressing in writing, use a pen and paper. Write it in your handwriting. Sometimes life, deployments, and employment make timing complicated. That’s okay, but you give a receipt. There is a lot to be said for a stamp and a letter.
I send countless text messages. I do not even have to think about them anymore. However, it takes me 5 months to go through a page of stamps. If you want to do it right .. in text form.. go old school.
Say the words you want to convey
Make sure you actually say the words you’re trying to convey. Get to the point and complete the thought. At the end of the conversation, you should not be left thinking “I think they know how I feel.” If you think you know how you feel you did it wrong. If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.
After you’ve put that out there pay attention. Nothing wrong with saying it and hearing it back. Other than the awkward, there’s nothing wrong with saying it and hearing that it’s not going to happen.
There is however something very wrong with saying it, hearing that it’s not reciprocal, and then not respecting their answer. Sometimes you soldier up and walk away. If you do that right you’ll find that sometimes grace and time can change people’s minds.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you like someone but not be compatible with them?
Yes, it’s possible to be attracted to or interested in someone but still not be compatible with them in the long run.
Compatibility is a complex and multi-faceted concept involving many different factors, including shared values, life goals, communication styles, and personality traits.
Even if you feel a strong sense of chemistry or connection with someone, it’s important to take the time to assess whether your personalities and lifestyles are compatible in the long run.
Ask yourself if you share similar values and priorities, communicate well and understand each other’s needs, and are willing and able to work through conflicts and challenges together.
Suppose you find that you’re not compatible with someone you like. In that case, it’s important to communicate honestly and respectfully with them about your concerns.
Try to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding, and be willing to listen to their perspective as well.
Remember that compatibility cannot be forced or manufactured and that it’s okay to acknowledge when a relationship isn’t working.
By communicating honestly and respectfully, you can minimize the risk of hurt feelings and maintain a sense of integrity and authenticity in your relationship.
Should I tell someone I like them if we have a language barrier?
If you and the person you like have a language barrier, it’s important to find a way to communicate effectively and connect despite the language differences. Consider finding a common language or using a translator if necessary.
If you decide to express your feelings, be clear about your intentions and ensure the person understands what you want to say. Remember to be patient and respect their language abilities and comfort level.
Should I tell someone I like them if we have cultural or religious differences?
Cultural or religious differences can add a layer of complexity to romantic relationships.
Suppose the person you like comes from a different cultural or religious background. In that case, it’s important to respect and understand their beliefs and traditions. Consider how these differences might impact your relationship and be open to learning more about their culture or religion.
If you decide to express your feelings, be clear about your intentions and make sure the person understands that you’re willing to work with them to overcome any cultural or religious differences that may arise.
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