How to Validate Someone’s Feelings (33 Tips)

We all know the feeling of wanting someone to truly understand us. Validating someone’s feelings can help them feel understood and supported. It shows that you care about what they’re going through.

In this article, I’ll share simple ways to validate someone’s feelings. These tips are easy to follow and can improve your relationships with friends, family, and colleagues.

Can small changes in how you talk really make a big impact? Let’s find out!

Listen Without Interrupting

When someone is sharing a heavy load, just listen. Don’t cut them off, don’t check your phone, and don’t start planning what to say next.

Let them talk, and you be the one to catch every word. Stay quiet and show with your face and your nods that you’re right there with them. Your job isn’t to talk; it’s to make sure they feel heard.

Example: If a friend tells you about their bad day at work, don’t interrupt. Just listen, nod, and let them vent before you respond.

"Active listening encompasses being fully present, asking open-ended questions, and rephrasing back what the person shared with you. The point of active listening is to try to understand their perspective of what is going on... 'You said you are feeling stressed about work. Can you tell me what is stressing you out at work?'"

— Elena Duong, Psy.D. | Licensed Psychologist, Blooming Wellness Psychotherapy, Inc.

Pay Full Attention to Them

Give someone your complete focus when they’re upset. Face them, turn off distractions like your phone or TV, and focus only on what they’re saying.

You’re not just there to hear them but also to feel with them, and they should know that nothing else is getting in the way.

For instance, when your brother starts to talk about struggling at school, put your phone away, look him in the eyes, and don’t let anything disrupt this moment.

Say Things Like “That Sounds Really Tough”

It helps people feel understood if you use phrases like, “That sounds really tough.” You’re not solving their problems; you’re acknowledging that they’re going through a hard time.

It’s a way of saying, “I hear you, and it’s okay to feel the way you do.” Simple words like these can be a big support.

Tell Them, “I Can See Why You’d Feel That Way”

When someone is upset and they spill their guts to you, say, “I can see why you’d feel that way,” to show you get it. It’s like giving a thumbs-up to their feelings, telling them it makes sense to be upset.

You’re not brushing off their worries; you’re standing in their shoes for a sec. This is about understanding, not about agreeing with everything they say.

Example: Your friend is bummed about not getting that job. You say, “I can see why you’d feel that way,” and just like that, they know you understand their disappointment.

"One big key is worth repeating: Believe the feelings of others... Nobody chooses emotions, so there's no sense in blaming people for them just because you don't personally want to go there."

— Ginelle Krummey, MA, LCMHC, NCC | Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Founder, Growth Point Collaborative Counseling and Group Facilitation, PLLC

Repeat Their Feelings Back to Show You Understand

Listening is great, but sometimes, saying back what you’ve heard can show you really get it. It’s like repeating an order at a drive-thru to make sure you’ve got it right.

You take what they’ve said and rephrase it casually, letting them know you’re on the same page. It helps the other person see you’re actually paying attention. More than that, it can help the person hear their own feelings out loud, which is pretty powerful.

For instance, your sister says they’re frustrated about being stuck at home. You respond with, “It sounds like you’re feeling really cooped up and it’s getting to you.”

"An accurate reflection of what was expressed can go a long way. Try to reiterate what was said; you can even use the same wording. Saying something like: 'I hear how difficult it is for you that X happened, and how that is making you feel ABC,' while filling in the blanks with your loved one's own words can be extremely affirming."

— Yana Lechtman, Psy.D. | Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Choosing Therapy

Let Them Know It’s Normal to Feel How They Do

Telling someone it’s normal to feel a certain way is like handing them a “Don’t worry, you’re not weird” card. It’s reassuring to hear that others would feel the same in their shoes.

You’re saying, “Hey, anyone would be freaked out if that happened.” This can take some weight off their shoulders. They don’t have to feel strange or alone just because they’re having big feelings.

"Help your loved one not to feel alone in their experience. Reflect with them that their emotions are normal and understandable: 'Anyone would have reacted similarly in your situation…' or 'I would also feel Y if I were in your shoes.'"

— Yana Lechtman, Psy.D. | Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Choosing Therapy

Assure Them It’s Okay to Have Those Feelings

When someone is feeling down or upset, it’s key to let them know it’s totally fine to feel that way. Assuring them can lift a bit of that guilt they might have about their emotions.

It’s like saying, “Hey, what you’re feeling is allowed here.” You’re creating a safe space for every emotion on the spectrum.

Example: Your cousin is upset after a breakup. You can ease their mind by saying, “It’s completely okay to feel sad about this.“

Tell Them, “Your Feelings Are Valid”

Validation is like the emotional equivalent of giving someone a high five for their feelings. This makes them feel seen and heard without judgment.

It’s a strong statement that can significantly boost their confidence in expressing their emotions. They’ll likely feel more at ease and open around you.

Speak Softly and Kindly

The tone of your voice can make a big difference when you’re trying to comfort someone. Speaking softly and kindly conveys care and gentleness, which can be very soothing.

It makes the conversation feel safe and non-threatening, encouraging deeper sharing. Even if what you’re saying is simple, how you say it can change everything.

For instance, your roommate is stressed about exams. A calm, “Want to talk about it?” can help them feel more relaxed and ready to share.

Show That You Care and Understand

Showing that you care and understand means going beyond just listening — it’s about really connecting with what they’re going through. Your actions and words should reflect your genuine concern.

When people feel understood, they feel supported and less alone. This can make a big difference in how they cope with their emotions.

Example: When your friend is feeling nervous about moving to a new city, just sitting with them quietly can say more than words.

"If someone is sagging their shoulders, crying, or behaving in a reckless fashion, we can ask about their feelings. This shows curiosity and empathy. 'How are you feeling?' or 'Is something upsetting you?' are simple ways to invite others to share their emotions and show recognition of their experience."

— Sara Makin, M.S.Ed., NCC, LPC | Founder & CEO, Makin Wellness

Make It Clear That Their Feelings Are Important

Letting someone know their feelings are important is like giving their emotions a VIP pass. You’re letting them know that what they feel is valued and has a special place in the conversation.

It’s not just about saying their feelings are important; you’ve got to make them feel it’s true. By paying attention and responding with care, you’re putting up a big sign that says, “Your feelings matter here.”

For instance, your colleague is overwhelmed with work. Just saying, “I can see you’re really swamped. Let’s sort out these priorities together,” reinforces that their feelings are a priority, too.

Accept Their View, Even If You Don’t Agree

Accepting someone’s view doesn’t mean you have to agree with it. Think of it like nodding when someone tells you their favorite ice cream flavor. You might not feel the same, but you can acknowledge that for them, it’s the best.

This creates a respectful space for them to express themselves without fear of getting shot down. It’s all about respect and openness, not about changing your mind or theirs.

Example: Your brother loves loud music, while you prefer silence. Saying, “I get that loud music is your thing,” acknowledges their preference, even if it’s not your jam.

"We don't have to agree or disagree with someone's emotional reaction to understand and validate their experience; the feelings are true regardless of what we think of their causes."

— Sara Makin, M.S.Ed., NCC, LPC | Founder & CEO, Makin Wellness

Show Empathy Through Your Body Language

Your body can speak volumes about how you feel, and the same goes when you’re trying to show empathy.

• Leaning in slightly shows you’re engaged.
• Keeping your arms uncrossed says you’re open to what they have to say.

By mirroring their expressions a tad, you’re saying, “I’m right there with you.” Keep your body relaxed but attentive; it’s like your posture’s giving them a nod, saying, “Go on, I’m listening.” Your body language should whisper, “I get what you’re going through.”

"By following along with their story and making eye contact or facing them physically, we can help them feel heard. The body language of the listener is so important in feeling validated, as it can show interest and compassion or boredom and disgust."

— Sara Makin, M.S.Ed., NCC, LPC | Founder & CEO, Makin Wellness

Keep Gentle Eye Contact

Eye contact is a bit like a soft handshake for the heart; it connects you without saying a word. Keeping a gentle and steady gaze shows you’re interested and focused on them. It’s not a staring contest, though.

You want to keep it comfortable, letting your eyes say, “It’s alright, I’m here with you.” For instance, while your little cousin talks about being bullied, maintaining calm eye contact can give them the sense that you’re a safe person to open up to.

Ask Questions to Get a Better Understanding

When you ask questions, it’s like you’re opening doors for them to say more about what’s on their mind. They’re meant to gently invite more conversation, not to grill them for details.

By asking the right questions, you’re showing that you’re interested in the deeper layers of what they’re telling you. It’s saying, “Hey, I want to get the full picture so I can understand better.”

Example: Let’s say your neighbor is venting about a stray cat they’ve started feeding. You might ask, “What does it feel like, having this new furry friend around?” to show you’re really digging into their experience.

Give Them Plenty of Time to Talk

Giving someone plenty of time to talk shows that you’re not rushing them and that you genuinely want to hear everything they have to say. This patience can make them feel more relaxed and open.

For instance, when a friend is talking about their recent breakup, let them speak without interrupting. This helps them feel valued and understood.

Make Them Feel Safe to Share Feelings

Make sure the person talking to you knows that their feelings are safe with you. They need to feel assured that their emotions are welcome and won’t be dismissed or ridiculed.

You’re there to listen and understand, not to pass judgment or share what they’ve told you with others. This sense of trust and security encourages them to be honest and open.

Example: If a coworker is hesitating to discuss their stress, saying, “This is a safe space, you can share anything,” can help them feel more comfortable. They’ll feel less scared to open up about their feelings.

"You can encourage them to engage more with statements such as 'How did you feel after that?' or 'Why do you think that happened.' These types of open-ended questions help the person feel safe and validated in how they feel and can continue to share with you."

— Adelle Kelleher | Dating Coach and Founder, Coaching Hearts Consulting

Make Sure They Know They Aren’t Bothering You

It’s critical to let someone know that sharing their feelings with you isn’t a problem at all. You want them to understand that you are available and willing to listen, whatever the situation might be.

Assure them that they have your permission to speak freely, and you’re not just squeezing them into your busy day. This encouragement can be a huge relief for someone who might be holding back because they fear they’re a burden.

Example: Your colleague seems hesitant to talk about their feelings after a team conflict. Assure them by saying, “I’ve got time, don’t worry — I want to hear what’s going on with you.”

Use Their Name to Make It More Personal

Using someone’s name during a conversation can instantly make the interaction feel more personal and engaging. It’s a simple trick, but it shows that you see them as an individual, not just another face or story.

When you address them by name, it’s a subtle cue that you’re connected and focused on them alone.

Thank Them for Trusting You

Thanking someone for trusting you acknowledges the courage it took for them to open up. This simple act of gratitude shows that you respect their vulnerability.

It also strengthens your bond by reinforcing trust and appreciation. They’ll feel more comfortable coming to you in the future.

Example: After your neighbor finishes sharing concerns about their health, say, “Thank you for telling me about this. I’m here whenever you need to talk.”

Just Be There for Them

Sometimes, the best way to validate someone’s feelings is to just be there for them. Your presence alone can provide immense comfort and support. You don’t always need to have the right words or solutions; your company matters most.

Being there shows that they’re not alone in their experience. It’s about providing a sense of stability and reassurance.

Keep What They Say Private to Build Trust

When someone shares their feelings, they’re often in a vulnerable place. Respecting their privacy reassures them that their trust in you is well-placed.

This also encourages them to open up more in the future. Confidentiality is key in maintaining a strong, supportive relationship.

Example: Your cousin confides in you about their relationship troubles. Reassure them by saying, “What you’ve shared stays between us, no matter what.”

Understand That Their Experience Is Unique

Every person’s feelings and experiences are as individual as they are. You shouldn’t compare their situation to anyone else’s or assume you know exactly how they feel because their emotions are their own.

Knowing that you see their feelings as special can make them feel validated and respected. Remember that what may be a small deal to you could be significant to them, and that’s okay.

Praise Their Courage in Being Open

Opening up about personal feelings takes guts, and when someone does it, letting them know you admire their bravery can be really uplifting. It’s giving them a solid thumbs-up for their willingness to be vulnerable.

When you recognize their bravery, it not only celebrates their strength but also encourages them to keep communicating.

Example: Your friend finally tells you about their anxiety. Just say, “I’m proud of you for opening up — it takes a lot of courage to share that.”

Always Support Them the Same Way

Providing consistent support shows that you are reliable and trustworthy. Consistency in your reactions and availability reinforces trust. It ensures that they know what to expect from you each time they open up.

This steady support makes them feel secure and valued. Knowing you’ll always be there for them in the same supportive manner is incredibly reassuring.

"Now that you have confirmed that you understand the feelings being shared with you and have normalized this person's experience, this is your opportunity to help or simply connect with this person in their feelings. An example of how you might do this is: 'What does support look like from me?'"

— Bethany Webb, LCSW-C | Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Grounded Roots Therapy and Consulting, LLC

Create a Welcoming Space for All Feelings

Creating a welcoming space for all feelings means encouraging openness without judgment. It involves fostering an environment where they feel safe to express any emotion.

A welcoming space shows that all feelings, whether happy, sad, or angry, are valid. This acceptance helps in building a strong, trusting relationship. They’ll feel more comfortable sharing their true emotions with you.

Example: When your roommate begins to tear up while discussing a stressful day, you pull up a cozy chair, offer a comforting smile, and say, “You can tell me about it, no matter how tough it gets.”

Encourage Them to Speak Freely About Feelings

Giving someone the green light to talk openly about their feelings can be a real game-changer for them. It’s like swinging the door wide open and saying, “Come on in!”

Let them know that with you, there are no wrong feelings or off-limits topics. It’s about giving them the freedom to express their emotions, any which way they come out.

Show You Care in Little Ways

Small actions can be like silent cheerleaders for someone’s feelings, shouting, “I care!” in a way words can’t. It’s those little kind gestures, like:

• Remembering to ask follow-up questions.
• Sending a quick text to check-in.

You don’t need to make grand gestures; the simplest acts of kindness show you remember and care about their feelings. It’s the daily “How are you?” with real interest behind it that often counts the most.

Keep Telling Them Their Feelings Matter

Reinforcing that their feelings matter helps them feel validated and important. It’s crucial to remind them that their emotions are significant and deserve attention.

Consistently telling them this helps build their confidence in expressing their feelings. It shows that you genuinely value their emotional experience. They’ll feel more secure and understood knowing their feelings are important to you.

Always Be Truthful With Your Responses

Honesty is key when responding to someone sharing their feelings. They’ve trusted you enough to be genuine, and they deserve that same honesty in return. This doesn’t mean being harsh; it’s more about being genuine in a caring way.

If you can’t relate to what they’re saying, it’s okay. What matters is that you’re truthful in your responses while still showing you respect their feelings.

Example: Your friend tells you about a problem and asks if they’re overreacting. You might respond, “I haven’t been in that situation, but I can see it’s really bothering you.”

Be Understanding But Not Overly Pitying

It’s good to be understanding when someone shares their problems, without tipping into feeling sorry for them. They want support, not someone to feel bad for them.

Sympathy is a warm pat on the back, not a sorrowful look. It’s about recognizing their struggles and standing with them. Aim for a response that says, “I get this is hard for you,” without implying “Poor you.”

Remind Them You’re Always Ready to Listen

Let the people in your life know that your door’s always open for them to come and chat. It’s like having a welcome mat laid out; they should feel they can step forward any time.

Whether they have big news or just need to vent, you want to be their go-to person. Frequent reminders that you’re ready to listen reinforce your role as a reliable listener. It’s a way to say, “Drop by anytime with whatever’s on your mind.”

Example: You tell your roommate as they head out, “If the day gets rough, we can talk about it when you get back.”

Let Them Know They’re Not Alone

When people are going through a tough time, reminding them they’re not by themselves can be a lifeline. It’s important to get the message across that they have someone in their corner.

They should feel they are part of a team, a cozy duo, rather than a solo act. Even when they’re dealing with personal issues, knowing someone else is there and willing to stand with them can make all the difference.

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Frequently Asked Questions

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Final Thoughts

Feelings matter, and we all need to feel understood sometimes. Just listening and showing you understand can make someone’s day. Validating their feelings shows you truly care.

Try these steps next time someone comes to you with their worries. You’ve got what it takes to make them feel supported. It’s a great thing to do, and it’s not that hard.