How can you tell if a man is already in love with you?
We asked experts to share their insights to help us figure out the answer to this question.
Dating and Relationship Expert, Dating Scout
He isn’t afraid to become vulnerable with you
Men are taught to be stoic and to push down their emotions. Vulnerability isn’t something that men like to feel. Some would go through years not bothering to face their feelings and actually address their issues. There are times when they brush away any encounter that actually push them to confront their own emotions.
So, if a guy shows you his vulnerable side no one usually sees, it’s a clear indication that he is comfortable with you. He trusts you enough that he can show emotional fragility and you won’t judge him for that. That level of comfort and trust speak of a deep bond between you.
He wants you to get to know important people in his life
He is eager to show you the real him by letting you inside the core of his social circle. He invites you to close friends and family events and introduces you to everyone.
When he is open about the current status of your relationship to everyone, except that he is really into you and is serious about you.
He’s always finding ways to “hang out”
Men don’t usually mind who they are hanging out with. But, when the invitations to spend time together are being frequent, chances are high that they are falling for you.
They will always look for different ways to keep you interested in going out like to go have dinner together, watch a movie, or try that new pub he saw. It will always be a new thing every day just to have a moment with you.
He is bringing you home
This is what every woman is excited about (and what every man is not so excited about) — meeting the parents. If he asks you to come home with him on Thanksgiving Day to meet his family and experience his childhood, then you are the real deal, girl! And if his mom tells you: “You’re the first girl he ever brought home,” then that certainly is a jackpot.
I know what you’re thinking — that these only happen in movies. Well, no. A man wouldn’t bring a woman home if he is not serious about having a long-lasting relationship with her.
Michelle Fraley, MA, WPCC
Relationship Coach | Professional Matchmaker, Spark Matchmaking
Here are some of my thoughts on the signs a man is falling in love:
Allocation of time
Time spent is one of the biggest indicators that someone is falling in love! Time is our most precious asset and how one uses their time can say a lot about what they value most.
If a man takes time away from other activities that he enjoys such as hobbies, work, family or friends in order to spend more time with you, that is a pretty clear sign that he is falling in love.
When you are spending time with your man and it is obvious that he is both able and willing to shut out the world around him, that is another good indication that he is falling in love.
If he tends to get tunnel vision and ignores other stimuli in the environment, including his phone and other women, while hanging with you, he may just be in love!
If his family, friends, and co-workers often tell you about how much your man raves about you and they seem to know a lot about how amazing you are, that is a good indication that he is falling in love.
Also, social media posts on Facebook and Instagram are the modern-day equivalent of yelling from the mountaintops, so if he often posts photos and stories about you or your relationship he may just be in love!
When a man is falling in love, he will often tolerate activities and people he does not really enjoy in order to spend more time with you or show how much he supports the things you care about. Tolerating someone or something to make you happy is a good indication that he is falling in love!
A hallmark of loving someone is wanting them to feel good. If your man does what he can to make your life easier without being asked, he may just be falling in love.
A man who is truly in love will go out of their way to support their partner in both big and small ways that may make your life just a little bit easier. These little gestures are a sure sign of love.
Certified Addiction and Trauma Therapist | Spiritual Healer
Men fall in love differently than women do. The woman will gladly welcome it, embrace it, and be excited about it. It will change her whole world. A man, on the other hand, will hesitate, think, ponder and in the depth of his soul – be frightened. They might not even know when to say the words, “I love you.” This is because men live in their rational mind and love lives in the heart.
Working with men for over 20 years on their healing- a common theme is this “I hate to feel. I am afraid of it.”
He makes a plan with you
He phones you, moves his calendar for you and makes plans with you often. He will not want you to getaway. He will make time for you and this is a big sign that he is falling.
He is concerned with things about you
He will start to become concerned about where you go, who you go out with and what men were in your past. All at once, your male history will be of great interest to him. He is now vulnerable by falling in love so he is looking for a way to be safe. What if he falls and he loses you?
This is terrifying to him and he might never admit it. He will just change his behavior and become a man who is out of character- wanting to be with you all the time and leaving his friends for the weekend.
He wants to meet your family and he wants you to meet his
When the family starts to be involved you know that he has long term plans. He would never ever introduce you to his mom unless he thought it was serious. The family is a sure sign that he is taking it to the next level.
Falling in love is terrifying to a man but when they fall – they wish there was a safety net. Yet they know there isn’t and they jump anyway. When they land, they hope that the woman is ready because they risked their most valuable possession- their freedom.
Transformational Relationship Coach | Author | Speaker
He prioritizes your needs more than his own
I think the most important sign that a man is developing deeper feelings for someone is their choice to start prioritizing the needs and wants of someone else, as it makes them happy to do so.
I am not talking about people-pleasing or trying to keep them happy so they don’t leave you, but genuinely feeling happy because the other person feels good and you do things to make that happen.
Once we have moved away from the initial falling in lust part of the relationship, the falling in love becomes a way of feeling that centers around the happiness you feel just being in someone else’s company. And I mean just being in their company. Not necessarily doing anything, just the contentment you feel when they are around.
There are many signs that we can be ‘falling in love’ that are negative, inauthentic and based on a maladaptive relating pattern, but that is an entirely different scenario.
Licensed Mental Health Counselor | Certified Dating & Relationship Coach
From my experience working with singles, here are the signs a man is falling love:
- He uses the term “we” when making future plans.
- He can’t get you out of his mind and will send you texts or call just to hear your voice.
- He can’t wait to show you off to his friends and family.
- He is open and shares his “authentic” self with you, expressing his emotions and vulnerable side.
- He is there when you need him because he is genuinely concerned for your welfare.
- He treats you truly special and as a priority in his life.
- He’s hooked on more than romance and will spend lots of evenings just holding you in his arms.
- He shows how much he appreciates your individuality and autonomy, making you feel he’s also a “good friend.”
When a guy is “smitten” and in love, he will make you feel comfortable and safe being around him. There is no need to push or force things, as things flow easily.
Celebrity Matchmaker | Relationship Expert
It’s the little things that make a difference, and the gradual small details that will let you know a guy is falling for you.
- He shows interest in your hobbies, and perhaps he takes up tennis or golf because he knows you enjoy playing. Plus, it’s something that you can do together.
- He joins your book club or other groups that you like spending time with.
- He’s considerate. For example, in the winter he fills your car with gas so you don’t have to stand in the cold to do it.
- He introduces you to the important people in his life (like his parents and friends), but most importantly his children if he has any.
- He doesn’t like it when you speak of your ex-boyfriends, he doesn’t go crazy but would prefer not to hear about them.
- He makes an extra effort to remember things about you like your favorite flavor of ice cream and/or brings you your favorite bottle of wine or flowers for no reason. He requests your song from the DJ at the club or remembers the day you met or other types of romantic gestures.
Relationship Coach | Founder, The Big Fling
In my professional and personal experience, there are four main signs a man is falling in love.
Checking in/texting for no apparent reason or motive
This indicates the person he’s falling for is top of mind and that checking in is a priority. A quick “hello”, “thinking of you…”. It could be a number of messages. The point is that he’s texting for no reason other than to implicitly say that he’s falling in love.
He introduces you to friends
This is a message to both the person and the broader social circle that there’s someone new in town. Additionally, an introduction to friends allows the man to showcase his “with friends” personality and demeanor. It’s a way of further opening up to the person he’s falling in love with.
When a man is around a person he’s falling in love with, the body language is open and embraceable. It communicates that the man is ready to welcome someone into his heart.
He goes out of his way to do something that the person he’s falling in love with is interested in
It could be an activity that requires little to no planning or buying something the person loves. The possibilities are endless.
The point is the man prioritized showing the person he’s falling in love with that he listens, cares, and wants to take part in whatever the person’s interested in. This, perhaps more so than any sign, is a huge indication that a man is falling in love.
Certified Mental Health Expert | Family Care Professional, Maple Holistics
His body language will tell it all
You’ll notice a special look on his face whenever he’s with his partner or talking about them. You’ll also see him constantly putting his arm around his partner, as a way to achieve closeness while also protecting them.
A man in love will also start expanding his interests
He won’t only be interested in sports or video games, but he’ll also want to get more involved in whatever his partner likes. And similarly, he’ll start to think more critically about issues that he never considered before.
For instance, he might have never considered himself a feminist but might start rethinking things once his girlfriend talks to him about the issue more.
Relational Leadership Coach | Faith-Based Healer | Spiritual Mentor
As a relationship coach and love expert, here are some signs that a man is falling in love:
He remembers the little seemingly insignificant details about your life
Like how you put a mixture 2/3 of vanilla creamer and 1/3 of hazelnut creamer in your morning coffee, or how you’re a sucker for rescued puppies, or that one time you embarrassingly spilled cranberry sauce all over Aunt Susie at Thanksgiving dinner…
He pursues you
When a man is falling in love, he goes above and beyond to make sure you know how much he cherishes you. He plans thoughtful dates he knows you’ll love, he’ll text you random sweet things throughout the day to remind you how much he cares, and he plans future events for the two of you to do together because he sees you in his life for the long haul.
He wants to introduce you to the people closest to him
A man falling in love wants the other people he cares about to love you too, and he will include you in things that involve the closest people to him. He sees you as part of that future!
He will do things totally out of his comfort zone because he knows it brings you joy
Spending the day baking a pineapple upside-down cake for grandma, going to yoga class with you, trying salsa dancing, or watching a chick flick probably wasn’t on his own to-do list.
He is open and genuinely expresses his emotion with you
When a man is falling in love, he trusts you and a part of his heart opens in a way that leads to vulnerable expression. If he’s sharing the deepest parts of his heart with you, he’s falling in love.