During the process of divorce, many new things are going to start opening up to you during the process. Intense emotions come flooding, new methods of communication become critical, and suddenly your time is spent differently than before.
Professionals call a divorce process a journey – and it is just that – a long journey within the depths of your being, moving towards redefining priorities for the next chapter of your life.
When going through the process or journey of divorce, you will likely start gathering information to help you get through it. When it comes to your reading list, there are dozens of helpful books that will keep you on the path of self-discovery and healing.
Many of the books I will recommend were published decades ago yet remain just as powerful in principle and practice. Some books aren’t even about divorce at all, rather about healthy relationships and healing energies for a successful future.
Following is a list of 10 books covering a variety of divorce and non-divorce related topics that will help you get on the path to healing.
As you go through this process of exploring a new reality for yourself and your children, my goal is to ensure you are as prepared as possible for the next great relationship that will come into your life, however, and whenever that happens. It’s time to pick up the pen and be the amazing author of the next chapter of your life.
Here’s a great place to start:
Table of Contents
- 1. Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After
- 2. A Fresh Start – 111 Affirmations to Make This the Best Year Ever and Create the Life you Want
- 3. Why People Don’t Heal And How They Can
- 4. Healing After Loss
- 5. Transcending Divorce: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart
- 6. The Soul of Money: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Life
- 7. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
- 8. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance
- 9. The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness & Peace
- 10. The Game of Life and How to Play It
by Katharine Woodward Thomas
Woodward’s 5-step guide will help you to look at breaking up in a whole new way. This book offers practical advice, heartfelt stories, and tangible steps towards healing.
What I appreciate about this book is that, especially for parents who are living with divorce, the path towards creating a happily-even-after life will build healthy two-address homes for the kids. These principles will help you understand the true path towards avoiding that bitter end in favor of flourishing for both parties.
Even if your ex-spouse isn’t following this guide at all, take the high road and learn what’s possible.
by Karen Carrington
Carrington’s book will leave you wishing you could go meet her out for coffee to share in her love and laughter as she helps you navigate the next chapter like the best, insightful friend you want to have.
Her book will make you laugh and cry, and most importantly, will help you reflect on what’s important to you as you move towards your own fresh start in life. What I love most about this book is the call to become passionately aware of yourself in the process of divorce recovery.
This book was published in 1997, and while it’s been around for more than 30 years, what I love about this book is the empirical data around healing.
Myss analyzes the development of the human consciousness on a global scale, offering insights into all sorts of healing practices inside and outside of divorce. This book is not specifically about divorce, but those going through one will find a proven path to healing.
This pocket guide offers 365 daily meditations and intentions to help people who are working through grief. The end of a marriage is something most people are grieving, no matter how long it lasted.
I believe in the power of daily rituals, and this is a great place to start that daily practice of being conscious of the loss in your life and learning how to move gracefully through it.
by Alan D. Wolfelt
Referred by professionals as a quintessential guide to getting through a divorce, Wolfelt’s book will help you to integrate your experience of divorce into your life, even if you don’t want to. Many people are faced with an unwelcomed divorce situation.
This book offers ten touchstones with actionable next steps to help you come to terms with the situation and transcend it. My favorite is Touchstone Five: “Recognize You Are Not Crazy.”
This book dives deep into the divorce process, covering a relatable spectrum of circumstances.
by Lynne Twist
Second only to emotional turmoil, finances are one of the most important pieces of a divorce. Twist’s book is NOT about divorce recovery at all, in fact, it is about how to transform your relationship with money in general.
I highly recommend this book to anyone suffering financially or feeling a state of emotional deficit following divorce. Women’s income falls 41% on average after divorce, which is more than twice as much as men’s.
Money is a critical topic, and after reading this book, you will learn that money is energy and, more importantly, how to get in the flow of abundance around money, no matter the situation.
The Gottman Institute has done decades of research on relationships, but why are we talking about a book on making marriage work in a divorce context? The answer is two-fold.
First, you may be looking back and wondering what more you could have done to make things work. Take this data from the experts who have actually studied couples and developed tangible theories around important concepts like “the four horsemen.” You may look back on your previous marriage differently with this information.
Second, and most critically, we are physiologically wired for human connection, so even though the previous marriage didn’t work out, you will more than likely be in another relationship at some point.
The divorce rate is even worse for second and third marriages, and part of that is because we’re not talking about what makes a marriage work in the first place. This book, or anything by John Gottman, is indispensable for anyone wanting a healthy relationship.
I have to admit, I read Grit during my marketing career in a traditional corporate job and didn’t think about it at all when I was going through my divorce.
Recently, while working with clients, I revisited Duckworth’s powerful book on success as a way to slightly shift the lens of healing for people going through divorce.
What I remembered then is that success in business or in life really isn’t about luck or talent at all; it’s about grit. We all need the components of Grit to help us succeed in the next chapter after divorce.
Published in 2002, this book offers a pocket guide to reflections and meditations around the topics of forgiveness, lovingkindness, and peace.
Many people going through divorce are working on the tricky business of forgiveness – both for their ex-spouse, and for themselves.
Focusing on forgiveness can be painful at first. Use this guide as a gentle entry point into the daily practice of forgiveness. Internal peace is possible again, even after divorce.
Originally published almost 100 years ago (yes, in 1925), this book has changed lives across generations. I constantly am surprised by how many people have not ever picked this one up.
The principle of the book is simple, and Shinn was a pioneer in preaching that you get back from the world what you put into it. The concepts of energy and living in abundance have been studied and analyzed from much more contemporary authors.
However, this classic brings a feeling of nostalgia that I think is healing in unique ways.
I’ve heard many intelligent people say that time heals all wounds, and I have to say I don’t fully agree. Time helps us get past things, yes, but what’s really healing is what we do with that time. It’s important to deliberately look at your journey through divorce as a time for personal growth, introspection, and a new perspective.
Finally, wherever you are in your divorce process, know that you are not alone.