Living with insecurities and low self-esteem can have a negative impact on almost every aspect of your life. It makes you question
- Who you are.
- What you stand for.
- Your decisions.
- If people love and like you for who you are, or if they have a hidden agenda.
- Your value, your self-worth, and if you’ll ever be good enough.
Suffering from insecurities can stop you from improving your talents, skills, and reaching your full potential; it prevents you from becoming who you truly are.
Discover in this article, 14 of the best books on overcoming insecurity so that you can live your life to the fullest and be more courageous and authentic.
Table of Contents
- 1. Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It – Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D.
- 2. Sabotage: How Insecurity Destroys Everything – Trinity Jordan
- 3. Tame Your Emotions: Understand Your Fears, Handle Your Insecurities, Get Stress-Proof, And Become Adaptable – Zoe McKey
- 4. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff . . . and It’s All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life (Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Series) – Richard Carlson
- 5. The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety – Alan W. Watts
- 6. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are – Brené Brown
- 7. When It’s Never About You: The People-Pleaser’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Health, Happiness and Personal Freedom – Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D.
- 8. Almost Already: Insecurities, Failures and Other Fun Things Nobody Likes to Talk About – Jonathan Tony
- 9. Free of Me: Why Life Is Better When It’s Not about You – Sharon Hodde Miller
- 10. The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It – Valerie Young
- 11. Love Me, Don’t Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment and Building Lasting, Loving Relationships – Michelle Skeen PsyD, Wendy T. Behary, LCSW
- 12. So Long, Insecurity: You’ve Been a Bad Friend to Us – Beth Moore
- 13. So Long, Insecurity Teen Edition – Beth Moore
- 14. I Need Your Love – Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead – Byron Katie, Michael Katz
1. Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It – Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D.
If you feel insecure in your relationships, no matter how your loved ones alter their behavior, will not make you feel better.
The road to trusting others starts by trusting yourself first. The key to feeling secure in a relationship (of any kind) is in your mind, not in the actions of others.
Read this book and learn how you can overcome relationship insecurity.
Allowing yourself to feel insecure is like allowing yourself to be imprisoned by others’ thoughts and feelings.
Break free! Learn how to overcome insecurity and develop self-confidence.
Feeling insecure is self-sabotage; it prevents you from becoming the best version of yourself. It stops you from taking advantage of your positive points, emphasizing instead your not so positive aspects.
3. Tame Your Emotions: Understand Your Fears, Handle Your Insecurities, Get Stress-Proof, And Become Adaptable – Zoe McKey
Can, feeling insecure serve a purpose? Sometimes it does, but most times, it just puts you down.
Momentary insecurity can make you strive to do better. However, prolonged insecurity can make you a slave.
Any creature on this planet has a powerful ability– the ability to adjust.
Yet, feeling insecure is diminishing your ability to adapt and face whatever life puts in front of you (creating the perfect ground for manipulators to take advantage of you).
Know yourself better so that you can walk with confidence and have peace of mind.
4. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff . . . and It’s All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life (Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Series) – Richard Carlson
Do you ever wonder why so many people allow themselves to worry? Feel insecure? Be crushed under the weight of worries and insecurity?
It turns out that worrying and feeling insecure gives you a false feeling of control.
Awareness is a beautiful thing. Yet, used to make horrible scenarios about the future can drag you down, making you unable to move forward.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff is a life-changing book and a classic in the self-help books genre. It will show you how to stop being insecure, how to handle stress, and reduce anxiety through small daily changes.
What do you think you see is not always what’s in front of you. Sometimes we see only what we choose to see, what’s convenient.
Feeling insecure taps into your selective thinking and seeing.
When you feel insecure ask yourself this simple question:
Are you better prepared to face what you believe is true (something negative)? Or adjust to the truth (something positive)?
You might be surprised how stubbornly people try to confirm what they believe. “I’m not good enough, and I can prove it!” “I’m sure my friends will fail me; just wait and see.”
6. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are – Brené Brown
Insecurity can make you feel like a pigeon walking in circles; not flying, not raising its beak from the ground, not ever seeing the sky.
Do you know what you want from life? But your insecurities are stopping you from getting it?
Most people who don’t live a blissful life, don’t know what they want. However, those suffering from insecurities know exactly what they want but are too scared to pursue that something. Because of that, life can seem a never-ending frustration.
Behind every person, there is a story. What is your story?
Your behavior and actions are shaped by the stories you’re telling yourself. Get to live a confident and content life by changing your narrative.
7. When It’s Never About You: The People-Pleaser’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Health, Happiness and Personal Freedom – Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D.
When you feel insecure, are you aware that makes you say “yes” way too often? Have you been hypnotized to believe you are not loved if you’re not perfect?
Change that belief; hypnotize yourself always to see yourself as you are (unique and precious). Those who really love you, don’t love you less if you say no. Those who really love you, love you, even more, when you give them the opportunity to show the best side of themselves.
8. Almost Already: Insecurities, Failures and Other Fun Things Nobody Likes to Talk About – Jonathan Tony
If you’re reading this article, presumably you feel insecure, and you’re searching for a way to change your mind.
Read this book and do just that in a fun and enjoyable way. You see? Those things we take too seriously, lower our intelligence (momentarily).
Is it fun to feel insecure? Probably never. But also, probably never have you thought of breaking free from the spell of feeling insecure laughing at it.
Imagine how easy your life can be if you change what you’re telling yourself when you feel insecure. “I always plan to do a good job; if you’re not satisfied, it means you have a different plan.”
The person with whom you exchange words most often is yourself. Insecurities are coming from that dialogue, not from who you are or what you can or cannot do.
Feeling insecure is a trick that your mind plays on you. However, have you ever thought about the fact that you’re not the only one absorbed (most of the time) in thoughts about self?
Insecurity makes you believe you’re a wizard “I know what you think about me; you don’t like what you see…” Funny thing though, the person in front of you is thinking about oneself; questioning their own behavior, appearance, and how they seem to you.
You like to read (consciously) others mind and body language, concluding what they think? Not what they think in general, but what they think about you… Oops, they don’t think about you, they think about themselves!
10. The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It – Valerie Young
Have you ever felt like, “I’m in over my head and they’re going to find out”? If so, you’re not alone.
Millions of successful people around the world secretly believe that they are not as bright or capable as others think they are and live in fear of being found out.
These feelings have a name — it’s called the impostor syndrome. Fortunately, there is a cure.
11. Love Me, Don’t Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment and Building Lasting, Loving Relationships – Michelle Skeen PsyD, Wendy T. Behary, LCSW
This book is a must-read for anyone who suffers from insecurities.
Feeling insecure most likely has its roots in your childhood. Being a parent is the toughest job in the world. One must balance the attention they give to themselves and the attention and love they gave to their children.
Perhaps your parents are good people, but they didn’t know how to manage that balance, and you’ve been left with that petrifying feeling that no one will be in your life for too long.
Plus, your memory of the past might be corrupted by your sensibilities as a child.
Your life, inadvertently or deliberately, is influenced a great deal by what you see around you. How could you not feel insecure (at least sometimes) when the society seems to value only those people who seem polished and flawless? …as if you (or anyone else) ever could be perfect…
Learn how to think positive so that you can choose easily where your attention goes.
What is more relevant to you: How you look or how you feel?
What is more important to you: Leading a blissful and simple life or being admired by others?
14. I Need Your Love – Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead – Byron Katie, Michael Katz
We cannot underestimate the power and value of feeling connected, being surrounded by people who love, respect, and appreciate you. However, overvaluing the love of someone who doesn’t love you back, can lead to self-destruction.
A successful marriage doesn’t sit on needing each other, but on completing each other, collaboration, and mutual respect.