Being cheated on by someone you never expected to betray you can be incredibly painful. It’s normal to be angry, confused, frustrated, and feel lost — you might even question your self-worth — pushing you to think about every possible reason why they chose to hurt you.
Being in this loop of overthinking is normal in this situation. However, it can be overwhelming and cause more damage to your mental health unless you break the loop.
According to experts, here are effective ways to stop overthinking after being cheated on and start the healing process:
Dr. Kimberly Parker, LCSW, PhD
PhD Candidate, Psychology | Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Healthy Mind Counseling & Nutrition, LLC
Racing thoughts can plague your mind, taking you down the rabbit hole toward more emotional and physical stress.
So, why do we overthink after infidelity, and how does one stop, you may ask? When you initially find out that your significant other has been cheating, most people are flooded with mixed emotions.
Infidelity can cause:
- Acute stress
- Low self-esteem
Whether you decide to stay in the relationship or leave, ruminating is a natural process. Now, it becomes a problem when it affects these areas:
You start to show signs of losing interest in tasks you once loved, panic attacks, paranoia, nightmares, racing thoughts, an outburst of crying, and the list can continue.
Insomnia/Hyposomnia, migraines, psychical pain in different areas of the body, Sexual dysfunction, high blood pressure, gut biome issues, other gastric issues, overeating and not eating enough to nourish your body, and even skin outbreaks.
Neglecting your belief system, losing your faith in what once grounded you, and even feeling lost with not knowing life’s direction.
Infidelity can cause issues in future relationships if one has not healed from the past. One may find themselves blaming “all men or all women” because of one’s personal experience.
This can cause one to subconsciously create sabotaging behaviors in future relationships. It causes one to be on a loop of destructive patterns when you have not healed.
If you decide to stay in the relationship where infidelity took place, then both parties would need to commit to therapy. If you stay in the relationship may not last, as the overthinking creates the “What if” factor. You may believe that the person who cheated is still in contact with the third party.
These are questions you may ask yourself after infidelity:
- “What did I do for he/she to cheat on me?”
- “Something must be wrong with me.”
- “Is he/she not attracted to me anymore?”
- “Why did I not see the signs earlier?”
If you decide to leave the relationship and there are no children involved, then cut all ties with this person. When you are moving forward in your life, close the old chapter, and start working towards self-love.
Working towards healing and remembering having ruminating thoughts, in the beginning, is normal. Your brain is trying to process the actions that caused a shift in your life.
The brain and body connection are working in overdrive to process your thoughts and feelings. When there is a disconnection between them due to this stressful event, the brain is trying to come to a solution to why this event took place.
What to do to stop overthinking about it:
Journaling can help you process your thoughts
Journaling is highly effective because it helps your brain to process your thoughts, feelings, and even visuals attached to the emotional trauma of cheating. This helps your body/spirit responds to your inner self.
I want you to converse with the emotions that you are feeling and write them down. I want you to know that the infidelity isn’t your fault.
If you are made to feel that way, then you are in a relationship with someone who disregards accountability. So, ask yourself, “Do you want to spend your life with someone who isn’t accountable, dismisses your feelings, and does not think about how you would feel if they were to be unfaithful?”
Engage in positive affirmations with meditation
I suggest going to therapy, if possible, treating themselves to new ideas and ventures, self-help videos, and engaging in positive affirmations with meditation.
Cheating can leave one feeling as if they cannot trust people, having negative feelings towards oneself and others, and even poor self-esteem. The more one incorporates positive distractions, the less rumination about your ex and the cheating.
Have a conversation with yourself in the mirror
Here is another exercise to help with overthinking, having a conversation in the mirror with yourself. My clients have reported that this exercise has been very empowering. You can do this exercise while conversing with your feelings.
Set a standard within yourself
Setting a standard within yourself is your boundaries, knowing what you deserve for yourself and in a relationship.
Remember, if the thoughts impact your daily life activities, seek therapy to help you navigate through this painful ordeal. It’s time to regain your power and create a new path to healing.
Rich Heller, MSW, CPC, ELI MP
Relationship Coach, Rich in Relationship
If you’ve been cheated on, it can be difficult to stop overthinking about it. You may feel like you’re constantly replaying the event in your head, wondering what you could have done differently.
To help you move past this difficult time, here are a few tips to stop overthinking after being cheated on:
Acknowledge your feelings; don’t try to suppress them
The first step to getting over being cheated on is to acknowledge your feelings. You may feel angry, hurt, or betrayed. All of these emotions are valid, and it’s important to let yourself feel them.
If you try to suppress them, they’ll eventually come out in unhealthy ways.
Talking to someone can help to provide perspective
Sometimes, it helps to talk to someone about what happened. This could be a trusted friend or family member, a counselor, or even a support group.
Talking to someone can help to provide perspective and can help you to feel less alone during this difficult time.
It’s important to take care of yourself when you’re dealing with being cheated on. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly. Spend time doing things that make you feel good, such as reading a book or taking along bath.
Create a distraction to take your mind off of the situation
When you’re feeling overwhelmed by your thoughts, it can help to create a distraction. This could be anything from watching a movie to playing a game. Anything that takes your mind off of the situation can be helpful.
Practice mindfulness to calm your mind and gain perspective
Mindfulness can help you to be more aware of your thoughts and feelings. When your thoughts start to spiral, take a few moments to focus on your breathing. Pay attention to the sensations in your body and the present moment. This can help you to calm your mind and gain perspective.
By following these tips, you can start to stop overthinking after being cheated on. It’s an incredibly difficult situation to deal with, but it’s important to remember that you will eventually be able to move on from it.
Forgiveness is the best route for our own mental well-being
Forgiveness is the key here. Forgiveness is for our own health and well-being. We don’t do it for the other person. Whether we stay in the relationship or end it, forgiveness is the best route for our own mental well-being.
Forgiveness can be a difficult and complex process, but it is often seen as an important aspect of mental and emotional well-being.
Forgiveness does not necessarily mean:
- You have to forget what happened.
- You have to continue to be in a relationship with the person who wronged you.
Rather, forgiveness is about letting go of resentment and anger towards someone who has caused you harm and choosing to move forward in a more positive and healthy way.
There are several potential benefits to forgiveness, including:
Improved mental and emotional health
Holding onto anger and resentment can be emotionally draining and may contribute to negative feelings and behaviors, such as anxiety and depression.
Forgiveness has been linked to improved mental and emotional well-being, including:
- Lower levels of stress and anxiety
- Increased feelings of happiness and contentment.
Improved physical health
Forgiveness has also been linked to physical health benefits, such as lower blood pressure and improved cardiovascular health.
Forgiveness can help to repair damaged relationships and improve communication and trust. This can lead to stronger and more fulfilling relationships with friends, family, and partners.
It is important to note that forgiveness is a personal choice, and it is unnecessary to forgive someone if you do not feel ready or comfortable doing so.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to do what is best for you and make decisions that align with your values and what you need to feel safe and fulfilled in your relationships.
Dr. Mitra Ray
Research Biochemist | CEO and Co-founder, rREST Inc
Being cheated on in a relationship isn’t a fun place to be. There are so many ways we can react.
What happens when you start to overthink the fact you were cheated on? And what if you can’t figure out how to stop overthinking?
You want to react in a better way, but your thoughts are on a treadmill, and you cannot get off. Life can get overwhelming pretty fast when you cannot pay attention to anything else but the fact that you were cheated on. You need relief from your thoughts, and you need it fast.
Do a guided meditation
Here is a step-by-step meditation to get off the overthinking treadmill:
Change your physiology; that is, the physical state of your body functions like your breath, your heartbeat, etc. The meditation itself can take no more than 5 to 7 minutes, and it can give you back your hours and days.
Step 1: Change your breathing to calm your nervous system quickly.
- Inhale in twice quickly through your nose, and open your mouth a longer exhale.
- Inhale quickly twice through the nose, exhale open mouth.
- Inhale quickly twice, exhale open mouth.
- Inhale twice, exhale.
- Repeat once more.
- You may feel a slight shift already towards relief.
- (Stop at anytime if you start to feel lightheaded, and go to the next step)
Step 2: Ground down.
- Now close your eyes and focus on breathing through your nose for about 3 to 4 breaths (breathe smoothly from here, without the double inhale).
- Notice if your breath is slowing down or not. No need to change your breathing, just notice it.
- To help you control your focus, imagine you have a volume dial in your brain.
- Let your thoughts be noise, and imagine turning that dial down to 50%. Notice how it gets quieter.
- Try lowering it to 25% (pause). Now try to turn it down to 0.
- Practice with your attention dial until it’s quiet enough that you can focus on your breathing for 3-4 breaths in a row.
- (Pause for 15 seconds when recording or reading).
- Once your focus is steady, shift your attention to your tailbone.
- You can put your hands on your tailbone to help with your focus.
- Now, imagine a chord of light from your tailbone going all the way down, down, down to the center of the earth.
- See if you can bring a gentle smile to your face.
- Keep your focus on this movement of light down to the center of the earth for another 3 to 4 breaths.
- If your mind starts to drift, gently bring back your thoughts to your grounding without judgment.
(Pause reading for about 15 seconds when recording)
Step 3: Breathe into your heartspace.
- Now, reverse the flow. Bring that light back up into your heart space and breathe with your focus on your heart.
- You can put both your hands on your heart to help bring your focus there.
- Take several breaths there and imagine the air swirling around your heart with every inhale.
- Remember to smile.
- If your mind drifts, gently bring back your thoughts to your heart space.
- (Pause reading for about 15 seconds if guiding or recording)
Step 4: Focus on something that is easy to love and appreciate.
- While breathing through your heartspace, mouth closed still, focus on something that is easy to love and/or appreciate. It can be a memory, an object, a person, or an activity. Maybe it’s a sunset, or your favorite place in nature, or a pet.
- This part is very important: Keep your focus here for at least a minute.
- Your smile should come more naturally now.
- If your mind drifts, gently bring back your thoughts to your heart space and something that you can easily love and appreciate.
- (Pause reading for about 1 minute if guiding or recording)
- You have opened up your heart now with love and appreciation. Keeping your heart open, proceed to the next step.
Step 5: Bring your attention now behind your third eye.
- Now bring your attention to your third eye. You can put one hand on your forehead if you like. Take a breath.
- Direct your attention to inside your brain, behind your forehead.
- Imagine you are now in your Higher Mind, the wiser part of your brain that can observe your life with clarity.
- Imagine a cord of light connecting your higher mind to your heart.
- Visualize the light flowing easily up and down this cord, connecting the two. Maybe it’s a circular cord that is flowing information between the two.
- Imagine the flow of light allows perfect harmony between your heart and mind.
- Keep breathing slowly as you imagine the connection between your heart and higher mind increasing.
- (Pause reading for about 15 seconds if guiding or recording)
Step 6: Focus on other loves in your life.
- Now think of 5 other loves in your life.
- They can be other people you like to enjoy spending time with.
- They can be other activities you like to do.
- With a connected heart and mind, you now have more time to explore other loves in your life.
- Take a deep breath and notice how you feel. It could be peacefulness, excitement, or happiness.
- Lean into these better feelings and let them flow through you as you breathe.
- (Pause reading for about 15 seconds in guiding or recording)
- Now slowly wiggle your fingers and toes and open your eyes.
Step 7: Journal about your other loves.
- The first time you do this meditation, journal these other loves in your life.
- With each meditation, feel free to edit or add to this list.
This “meditation” is very powerful
This meditation is going to help you find your center again.
The first part is designed to ground you in the present and help you find clarity about where you are now. The second part teaches you to shift your attention to things that serve you, so you can notice more of them in daily life and move forward from being cheated on.
Do this meditation once a day. When you feel confident that you’ve moved on from overthinking being cheated on, you can continue to do the first part of this meditation up until the part about finding other loves in your life.
If we expect to function and succeed in today’s hectic and complex world, we all have so much to gain from learning the healing powers of meditation and mindfulness.
This practice can not only help you get past your current challenge — it can go way beyond that and help you become a more powerful person.
When we rehash the past in our overthinking, our brain has no bandwidth to be present to the life that is happening around us. Learning to be present in the moment is one of the most powerful tools one can learn in life.
If you find yourself getting wrapped back up in overthinking throughout the day, take a moment to close your eyes and bring your attention right behind your eyes. Feel the cord of light constantly keeping you connected down into the earth, and imagine turning your attention dial down for all the things that aren’t serving you.
Grounding yourself and focusing on your breath, and putting a simple smile on your face as you do so, will bring you into your body and into the present moment. The more you practice this, the more you will see your life improving on so many levels.
You have the opportunity to use this breakup to release the bondage of overthinking anything!
We are never present when we are thinking about the past or the future. Focusing on your breath is your fastest access to coming into this moment. Learning how to connect to the earth, connect to your heart and connect to your Higher Mind can make you Superhuman.
Sometimes we don’t notice changes without a way to reflect back on those changes. Journaling how your life changes so you can look back and see your progress can help you stay motivated to remember to meditate more as a daily practice.
This whole process is going to feel weird at first because you’re teaching your brain to pay attention to new things. If you feel like quitting, that’s your brain resisting change because it wants to conserve energy because building new thought processes requires energy.
Just remember, you are the boss of your brain, and spending energy on grounding down is more productive than wasting energy overthinking your relationship challenges. With practice, every day will get easier as you become accustomed to refocusing your attention and being present.
Make a recording of these steps on your phone, so you can do your own guided meditation with it, or ask a friend to slowly read and record for you.
You should immediately feel better after this guided meditation, so it is well worth the effort to record it for the best results. Words inside parentheses need not be recorded.
One final note:
If you try this meditation for several days with no relief, you may need a trained coach to help you release your blocked emotional energy.
This is usually because of neuro-emotional patterns stuck in the subconscious mind from childhood, and trained professionals can help you release this energy for good.
Director, Personal Farewells
When your partner cheats on you, it can be difficult to know how to react. You may feel overwhelmed with hurt and betrayal or, conversely, completely numb. The urge to overthink the situation is natural and understandable, but it can also lead you down a destructive path.
If you want to move forward and regain control of your life after being cheated on, here are some steps that you can take:
Take time for yourself
When dealing with being cheated on, taking the time to do something for yourself can be an effective way of easing your mind.
Whether dedicating time to a hobby or indulging in a spa day, giving yourself space to focus on activities that make you feel good and bring joy will help alleviate feelings of overthinking.
When you are feeling overwhelmed, allowing yourself the opportunity to unplug from your normal routine and make time for yourself is essential — commit to putting your physical and mental well-being first by blocking off time for self-care. This includes doing activities you enjoy and feeding your body nutritious foods.
The steps we take toward our personal growth will have a ripple effect in healing overworked minds after being cheated on.
Talk to a professional for practical strategies to manage your thoughts
If the urge to overthink persists, it may be beneficial to speak with a therapist or counselor who can help you through this difficult time. A mental health professional will provide an objective perspective on the situation and can offer practical strategies for managing your thoughts more effectively.
Additionally, they can provide emotional support as you navigate the healing process.
Practice mindfulness to stop the cycle of overthinking
It’s normal to overthink after being cheated on, but it can hurt your mental and emotional state. One of the most effective ways to stop this vicious cycle is practicing mindfulness.
Mindfulness is about paying attention to the present moment with an open and non-judgmental mindset. When we don’t cling to our thoughts, it allows us to gain perspective and reduces our tendency to overanalyze situations.
Practicing mindfulness may involve yoga, meditation, or simply taking a few moments out of each day to pause and observe how you’re feeling without reacting or trying to change anything immediately.
By allowing yourself the time and space to process your grief, anger, disappointment, or other emotions in this way, you can start to build resilience and reframe your outlook so that negative thoughts don’t spiral into a perpetual cycle of rumination.
Engage in healthy activities
Being in the aftermath of being cheated on can cause you to overthink and question your self-worth. To combat this, it’s important to engage in healthy activities that can distract you and take your mind off the situation.
This can include simple things like going for a walk or taking a yoga class, listening to calming music, or enjoying some of your favorite hobbies.
On a deeper level, it’s also beneficial to seek professional counseling or support groups. They can provide an outside perspective to help you cope with being cheated on and outsmart any unhealthy thinking patterns.
Finding small ways to gain control over what you are currently going through can lead to greater peace of mind and make it easier for you not to remain stuck in a cycle of destructive thoughts.
Be gentle with yourself; don’t be afraid to express how you feel
It’s normal to experience a range of emotions after being betrayed by someone close to you. Be gentle with yourself, and don’t be afraid to express how you feel, whether talking openly with friends or family or writing it down in a journal.
Giving yourself permission to acknowledge and accept your emotions is the first step toward healing.
Distract yourself from self-doubt and internal reflection
Being cheated on can be an incredibly traumatic experience, and it’s natural to feel like blaming yourself afterward. The truth is, your partner, not you, chose to cheat.
As hard as it may be, remind yourself that you deserve better, and if your partner is willing to betray you, then they’re not worth your mental energy.
To stop overthinking in this situation, try redirecting your focus to more productive activities such as exercise or hanging out with friends, which will distract you from self-doubt and internal reflection.
Take stock of the things that make you unique and strong — you don’t need someone else’s approval, nor do you have to constantly worry about how their actions could hurt you.
Overall, if you want to stop overthinking after being cheated on, start by recognizing that it wasn’t any fault of yours and isn’t a reflection of who you are or your value as a person.
Work on forgiving your partner
Forgiveness may seem impossible in the wake of infidelity, but it is essential for your emotional well-being. Holding on to anger, resentment and bitterness will only cause more suffering for you and your partner. Work towards forgiving them, if not for their sake, then for yours.
By following these steps, you can start to take back control of your life after being cheated on. Remember that although the process may be painful, healing is possible — so focus on taking care of yourself, processing your emotions, and rebuilding a positive future for yourself.
Aura Priscel De Los Santos
Clinical Psychologist | Specialist, Health Canal
It’s hard to stop overthinking after finding out you’ve been cheated, but here are some tips you can put into practice to manage these thoughts:
Accept what happened
It’s hard to think about being cheated on, but it’s something that happened, and you have to learn to accept it. Accepting the fact does not mean that you deserve it, but it is a way to close a cycle and move forward.
Lean on family and friends
There are family and friends who will help you and give you support. Tell them how you feel and let those people support you. Sometimes it’s good to let off steam with someone to express feelings since it’s a way of taking a load off yourself.
Explore new environments
Give yourself the opportunity to go to new places and focus your mind on activities that generate diversity and well-being. Sometimes overthinking comes because we focus too much on one thing and don’t take the time to do others.
Work on yourself
Focus on yourself, practice activities such as meditation to manage those thoughts that cause you discomfort in relation to being cheated on, go to therapy if you feel that it is something that you cannot handle on your own, play sports and try to enjoy everything you do.
Write how you feel
Journaling is a good way to externalize those thoughts regarding being cheated on. Writing how you feel helps you get to know yourself better, analyze the thoughts you have, and see if it’s really worth thinking so much about something that happened and over which you have no control.
Live in the present
Many times, when you focus on thinking that you were cheated on, you may forget to live your life. You can, without realizing it, create and experience beautiful memories with people who do love you and value you for who you are.
Allow yourself to enjoy what you are doing today; it is not something easy, but if you try every day, you will see how little by little you begin to think less about cheating and more about living your life.
Be kinder to yourself
Sometimes without realizing it, you may think that it was your fault that they cheated on you and that you did not do enough, being in constant discomfort due to these types of thoughts.
Instead of generating this type of thought, think that you deserve someone who treats you with the love you deserve and while that other person arrives, give yourself a lot of love and affection.
Be compassionate with yourself, love yourself, stand in a mirror, and highlight all your qualities.
Stay away from people and situations that can influence negative thoughts
Without realizing it, you may be surrounded by people or things that make you think of cheating regularly. If necessary, stay away for a while — you don’t have to be around things or people that only cause you more discomfort and delay your recovery process.
Senior Editor, Tandem
If you, at times, suffer from anxiety, as I do, it’s hard not to overthink. You might constantly question yourself. Did you remember to thank the waitress? Did you pay all your bills on time this month? Do you have enough gas to get to work?
Whether you have anxiety or not, many things can cause us to overthink. But what if you are overthinking because you feel betrayed? How can you stop overthinking after being cheated on?
Remember that you need to move forward and not back
Did you decide to end the relationship due to infidelity?
Overthinking what has already transpired will not do anything but possibly make you mad or upset. Did you opt to stay in the relationship but are dwelling on the past? Then you won’t be able to move into the future.
This means that regardless of your chosen path, you should focus on what you can do to move forward and put the past behind you.
Forgive your partner and yourself
Everyone makes a mistake or two at some point. Unfortunately, some mistakes are bigger than others. As this will also help you to move forward, make a conscious effort to forgive your partner.
Even if you are no longer with them, you don’t want to harbor feelings of resentment. If you stay together and don’t forgive them, you might turn into a kettle that boils over when you least expect it. Remember to also forgive yourself. This could be for not seeing the situation, not acting sooner, or just for feeling bad.
Do things that make you happy
Instead of sitting around, which will give you ample time to overthink, keep busy and active doing the things you love or enjoy. This will help keep your mind off the negative, which should make you happier. You can exercise, which will help you get healthier.
You can take up a craft, enabling you to make and give gifts to others. Participating in things that make you happy will also help you forget the reason you were previously overthinking.
Be good to yourself
If you like facials, massages, or manicures and pedicures, indulging yourself by being pampered is a great way to stop overthinking. Do what you can to pamper and take care of yourself.
Just because your partner did something they should not have doesn’t mean you need to remain miserable.
Do you find that your overthinking is disrupting your daily life? Sometimes even doing the above won’t be enough to get yourself to stop overthinking.
It might be time to reach out to a professional counselor. They can help you come to terms with your thoughts, feelings, and situations. Before you know it, you won’t be as prone to overthinking any longer.
Founder, Parental Queries
It was a regular day like any other when I found out my significant other cheated on me. This happened back when I was in my college. I felt so betrayed, hurt and angry all at the same time. It wasn’t easy to process what had happened as none of this seemed real. I was taken aback and felt utterly helpless.
After days of feeling this way, I was done. I decided to take back control and stop overthinking the situation. I could finally move on with my life and become strong again.
I did a few things to stop overthinking after being cheated on:
Acknowledge your feelings
It is essential to acknowledge your feelings and let yourself feel whatever you feel. Whether it’s sadness, anger, or guilt, expressing your emotions out loud can help reduce the stress of overthinking.
Accepting these feelings will help you move forward in life. I remember taking a few days off work, going to the park, and letting it all out.
Redirect your thoughts to shift your focus
When I was overwhelmed with thoughts about what happened between my partner and me, I found redirecting my thoughts very helpful.
Keeping a journal helped me get all my negative thoughts on paper, allowing me to refocus on something else instead of ruminating on the past. Doing things like reading a book, going for a walk outside, or listening to music are also great ways to shift my focus away from the pain of the situation.
Seek support from friends and family
Reaching out for help during difficult times like this is essential. Talking with friends or family about what happened can help you process your emotions and gain some perspective on the situation.
Support groups are available online or in person to provide a safe space to talk about your feelings and advise coping with cheating.
Looking after yourself is essential when managing stress and anxiety after being cheated on.
Professional EFT Practitioner | Founder, Tapping School
It is very common for negative thoughts to take place while dealing with betrayal.
The pain associated with being cheated on by someone you loved with all your heart is unbearable. However, overthinking only gives rise to other problems that can include depression and anxiety.
It is better to find some useful ways to deal with your thoughts.
Accept that you cannot control everything
It is easier said than done, but this can help you move on and heal in a better way. Thinking about why your partner cheated on you or what the problem is on your part isn’t going to be of any benefit. Accept that this happened, and you have to go with the flow.
Give yourself positive affirmations that things only change for the better, and it’s better to break up with a partner than deal with infidelity during later stages in your life.
The process will definitely take some time, but the pain will eventually become bearable, and in some cases, it will even fade away.
Director, Bankless Times
Being cheated on can be a painful and traumatic experience, and it’s natural to have a lot of thoughts and emotions in the aftermath. However, overthinking can make it harder to heal and move on.
Here are some tips for how to stop overthinking after being cheated on:
Let go of thoughts about the past or future
Try to focus on the present moment and let go of thoughts about the past or future. That can help you feel more grounded and reduce the tendency to ruminate.
Seek support and work through your feelings
Talk to a trusted friend or family member, or consider seeing a therapist to process your emotions and work through your feelings.
Engage in self-care
Take care of your physical and emotional well-being by getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Set boundaries with the person who cheated on you
It can be helpful to set boundaries with the person who cheated on you, limiting contact or setting clear expectations for the future.
Try to reframe your thoughts
When you find yourself dwelling on negative thoughts, try to reframe them more positively or neutrally.
For example, instead of thinking, “I will never be able to trust anyone again,” try thinking, “I have been through a difficult experience, but I can learn to trust again in the future.”
Find healthy ways to cope
Find healthy ways to cope with your emotions, such as writing in a journal, practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation, or engaging in physical activity.
It’s important to remember that healing and moving on after being cheated on takes time, and giving yourself space and grace to work through your feelings is okay.
It’s also important to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist if you need it.
Kenneth Dylan Lam
Businessman and Tech Enthusiast, IblockCube
One of the worst emotions a person may possibly go through is being betrayed or cheated on.
This one action from the other person plunges you into a maze of complicated feelings and thoughts that consume you fully and break you into pieces. And often time leads to overthinking.
Below are tips on how you can stop overthinking:
Find out the reasons behind the situations that lead you to start overthinking
Everyone has a unique way of processing their feelings and ideas. So, in order to identify the precise cause of your problems, you must look deep within yourself.
This may seem like a no-brainer. You can claim that you are overthinking as a result of being duped. But occasionally, there may be more profound causes for your psychological condition. Healing would not occur without addressing the situation .
Understand that it has nothing to do with you
People frequently begin to feel unworthy after being cheated. They might even believe it is their fault, as was already mentioned. This is obviously a damaging way to see the situation.
You should firmly believe that you are unrelated to your partner’s conduct. Recognize that anyone might have experienced this. Even the most devoted, giving, attractive, and gifted individuals can experience it.
Accept what happened and focus on the present moment
Do you have any doubts about your relationship with your partner? Are you mentally going over the exchange to try to figure out what went wrong?
After a relationship, a lot of people reflect on the interactions and events they share with their spouse — experiences partners have had while attempting to understand what is happening and how their relationship is evolving in that direction.
However, it is neither healthy nor productive to constantly go back to the past and analyze every second you spend with your partner.
You should strive to look to the future and try to concentrate on the positives in front of you, not the problems behind you, rather than living in the past and reflecting on the past.
Think about what you want and take good care of yourself
It’s crucial that you make the final decision on how to live your life if you wish to move on after infidelity.
Do you intend to split from your partner? Do you want to strengthen your bond and work to recreate your former union?
No matter what advice you receive from others, including your partner, there is no right or wrong answer to these important concerns. You must act in your own best interests and trust your intuition.
It’s crucial to learn to appreciate and care for yourself during these trying moments in your life when you’re dealing with challenges and setbacks.
Never be afraid to request for help
Asking for help from those around you is not anything to be afraid of if you wish to recover from being cheated. You may feel alone if your partner betrays you. Nevertheless, once this occurs, you shouldn’t be reluctant to get in touch with friends and family and spend time with those who are concerned about your well-being.
Additionally, you shouldn’t be reluctant to seek out a qualified expert who can assist you in creating a unique plan for coping with your new normal. Having more encouraging folks in your corner will only make it simpler for you to see the light; you don’t have to handle this on your own.
Commit to a regular self-work process
The goals of self-work are self-awareness and self-worth. This is especially important for those who have ingrained feelings of poor self-worth stemming from their early years or from previous relationships.
Founder, Solution Scout
Use mindfulness to start rebuilding your confidence
To say my last relationship ended badly is an understatement. Being the last to know you’re cheated on is never easy, and it left me feeling empty, betrayed, and terrified of ever trusting someone again.
I was so consumed with thoughts of what went wrong, what I could have done differently, and how I could have avoided being taken advantage of that I couldn’t focus on anything else.
My overthinking left me with a never-ending cycle of fear and negative thinking that was so overwhelming that I was willing to try anything to break out of it. That’s when I decided to try mindfulness techniques to help me stop overthinking after being cheated on.
I started with simple breathing exercises I picked up in a vipassana class. When I feel my thoughts spiraling out of control, I take a few deep breaths and focus on breathing. This helped me to stay present and regain my focus.
Finally, I started to challenge my irrational thoughts. Whenever I felt like I was obsessing about the past, I would ask myself why I was overthinking it. Then, I would focus on the facts and try to come up with a logical explanation that allowed me to move forward with my life.
Mindfulness helped me break free from the cycle of negative thoughts and start rebuilding my self-confidence. I’m no longer held back by the fear of being taken advantage of, and I’m taking steps to live a happier and healthier life.
Editor, Archic Furniture
After being cheated on, it’s normal to feel betrayed, uneasy, and overwhelmed. It can be common to find oneself going over certain events or analyzing particular behaviors, but doing so can also result in anxiety and chronic overthinking.
Fortunately, there are numerous strategies for putting an end to overthinking after being cheated on and creating strong, lasting bonds:
Find out reasons why you keep overthinking
It’s crucial to consider carefully why you’re overthinking. After adultery, it could seem like a no-brainer question, but overthinking can also be caused by underlying issues or a trauma response in progress. You can learn how to quit overthinking by grasping the details.
Find people you trust to lean on for support
When you’re feeling low, rely on your friends and family for support. When you are going through a difficult moment, especially when trying to regain your confidence and sense of worth after a toxic relationship, social support is crucial.
Develop a habit of being mindful
The symptoms of anxiety, stress, depression, PTSD, and emotional reactivity can be lessened by developing a habit of being mindful. Try to keep aware of your surroundings and concentrate on the things you can manage right now.
When you feel overwhelmed, calm down, use relaxation techniques, and take things one day at a time.
Try out starting over in a new environment
Giving yourself a setting that makes you feel like you’re starting over will assist you in entering a different frame of mind and open the door to more effective coping strategies.
This environmental shift might be dramatic, like moving to a new home or going on a long trip, or it can be subtle, like moving furniture around in your home.
Work on yourself and practice positive self-talk
A little self-love and encouraging words can go a long way. Overanalyzing and intrusive thoughts frequently result in negative self-talk and pessimism, both of which can worsen your mental health. Giving oneself love and encouraging words is very important.
Even while it may seem strange to begin telling oneself these things, doing so can greatly you in your emotional recovery and regulation.
Develop new routine
Your mind may concentrate on developing new, constructive neural pathways when you establish new patterns.
When you’re dealing with insecurity, low self-esteem, depression, and/or anxiety, starting something new can be difficult. As a result, involving your social and personal support networks may be very beneficial.
Marketing Manager and Founder, Twibi
If you are struggling to stop overthinking after being cheated on, there are several strategies you can try:
Talk about your feelings with friends and family
One important step is to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist, as talking about your feelings and experiences can help you process your emotions and gain perspective.
Focus on the present moment
It may also be helpful to practice mindfulness and focus on the present moment, as overthinking often involves ruminating on the past or worrying about the future.
Engage in activities that help you relax
Engaging in activities that help you relax, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies, can also be beneficial in reducing stress and anxiety. It may also be helpful to establish healthy boundaries and set limits on how much time and energy you spend thinking about the situation.
Build a strong support system
Finally, try to refocus your attention on self-care and building a strong support system, as these can help you feel more grounded and resilient.
It may take time to heal and move forward, but with time and effort, it is possible to stop overthinking and find ways to cope with the challenges you are facing.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why am I overthinking so much about my partner cheating on me?
It’s natural to experience overthinking after being betrayed by someone you trusted. Infidelity can cause a profound disconnection in a relationship and shake your sense of safety and security. Overthinking is the mind’s attempt to process and make sense of a traumatic experience.
However, it’s important to recognize when your overthinking patterns become counterproductive and interfere with your ability to heal and move forward.
Can overthinking after being cheated on affect future relationships?
Yes, overthinking after being cheated on can impact future relationships as it can lead to a lack of trust and insecurity. It’s important to work through these thoughts and emotions to prevent them from negatively impacting future relationships.
Seek help from a therapist or counselor to work through deeper emotional issues and learn healthy coping mechanisms to prevent these thoughts from impacting future relationships.
Is it okay to take some time apart from my partner after being cheated on?
Yes, it’s okay to take time away from your partner after they’ve cheated. Time away can allow both partners to process their feelings and thoughts and work on healing and rebuilding trust. It’s important to set clear boundaries and expectations for the time away and to be open about your feelings and intentions.
Is it normal to have ups and downs in the healing process after being cheated on?
Yes, it’s normal to have ups and downs in the healing process after being cheated on. Healing isn’t a linear process, and it’s normal to have good days and bad days. It’s important to take care of your emotional well-being and seek help from loved ones and mental health professionals if necessary.
With patience, effort, and a willingness to work through the emotions and thoughts associated with infidelity, it’s possible to heal and move forward toward a healthier and happier relationship.
How can I learn to trust again after being cheated on?
Rebuilding trust after infidelity is a process that requires time, patience, and commitment from both partners. Here are some tips to help you rebuild trust:
Communicate openly: Building trust requires open and honest communication. Encourage your partner to express their feelings and be transparent about their actions.
Be patient: Trust cannot be built overnight. It may take time for you to rebuild a sense of security and trust in your partner.
Take responsibility: If you’re the one who cheated, it’s important that you take responsibility for your actions and show a willingness to make amends to restore trust.
While there is no quick fix for overthinking after you’ve been cheated on, with patience, self-compassion, and the support of loved ones, you can navigate this difficult experience and come out stronger.
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