Have you ever wondered if you’ll ever settle down and tie the knot?
Here are the signs that suggest you will never get married, according to therapists, relationship experts, and more:
Table of Contents
- 1. You would rather not be a team player
- 2. You prefer not to have someone counting on you, for your attention or help
- 3. Your career is likely to always be your priority in life
- 4. You are happy to spend evenings alone
- 5. You do not want to have children
- 6. You are not sure you believe in the institution of marriage
- 7. You would rather not have the responsibility of being a partner and all that entails
- 8. You recognize that you do not easily share
- 9. You prefer to travel alone
- 10. You prefer to sleep alone
- 11. Sex isn’t all that important
- 12. You are non-traditional
- 13. The logistics of a marriage certificate ruin the romance for you
- 14. You want to protect your wealth
- 15. You are not willing to compromise
- 16. You are a free spirit
- 17. You value your career over your relationships
- 18. You are not willing to be vulnerable
- 19. You have trust issues
- 20. You don’t believe in monogamy
- 21. You are full of bitterness
- 22. You fail to take responsibility of your personal growth
- 23. You don’t believe in the idea of marriage
- 24. You have no desire of being married and wants to enjoy life alone
- 26. You have unrealistic expectations
- 27. You’re the cat person
- 28. Your expectations are too high
- 29. You’re afraid to online date
- 30. You think it’s just a piece of paper
- 31. You like being alone and prefer your own company
- 32. You don’t like to answer to someone as you have to do in a marriage
- 33. You march to the beat of your own drum
- 34. You value your freedom
- 35. You have different priorities
- 36. You believe that marriage is not a fairytale with a happy ending story
- 37. You have commitment issues
- 38. You still enjoy your bachelor’s life
- 39. You haven’t find the right one yet and you don’t expect to
- 40. You’re not into weddings
- 41. You have major trust issues
- 42. You are contented with where you are in your life right now
- 43. You are independent
- 44. You have heard of horror stories about marriage
- With all due respect, there are no “signs that you will never get married”
- Frequently Asked Questions
Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, Ed.S., LMFT
Marriage & Family Psychotherapist | Author, “A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage: The Essentials for Long-Lasting Togetherness“
There are definite characteristics or behaviors that suggest a person will never get married.
Here are the ones that I believe tend to be the critical ones:
1. You would rather not be a team player
Your personality and ease with your life suggest that you are quite independent – for example, you have chosen the kind of work and career that allows for you to be your own boss.
To be a good team player takes energy and effort in collaboration, and a desire for the team to be the best it can be – some thrive on working together. Others find it laborious.
“Bear in mind that marriage can only work as a team effort, as a team sport of sorts.”
2. You prefer not to have someone counting on you, for your attention or help
It feels suffocating. You may have grown up, unfortunately, with adults that you eventually learned not to count on – they had their issues – so you became good at taking care of yourself. It feels better for you when others take care of themselves too.
3. Your career is likely to always be your priority in life
You have done all the right things to have a great career – good education, continuing learning to stay on top of your field, and working all kinds of hours that you deem necessary, whatever it takes. You cannot imagine where you would find the time for other priorities.
4. You are happy to spend evenings alone
You enjoy your own company. And you have friends that you’ll spend time with periodically. You also have a family full of aunts and uncles, and cousins getting married and having babies, and your immediate family is always planning the next gathering. There is enough going on for you.
5. You do not want to have children
You’ve never really liked babies or toddlers – you’ve done enough babysitting to know that about yourself. You have never seen yourself as a mother. And the world doesn’t really need everyone adding to population growth.
6. You are not sure you believe in the institution of marriage
Marriage is also another part of life that you’ve seen enough about to know that it isn’t for you. Divorces all around. Friends continually having issues while living together, then when married, then when the kids come, it never stops.
“You do have to truly believe in the institution of marriage.”
7. You would rather not have the responsibility of being a partner and all that entails
You have had your experiences over earlier years and never felt that being in a relationship was really worth it. Guys wanted too much of your time, it often seemed it was only about sex, they didn’t understand you and your goals, and they cheated on you. Seems there is too little for too much work.
Given your independent nature, the thought of sharing money, as one example, would be a difficult step for you to take.
“Be sure to share your dreams with each other regularly.”
9. You prefer to travel alone
You love the freedom of travel, and you never really feel alone. You like meeting new people in different places and moving at your own pace when away. And you even enjoy eating alone.
10. You prefer to sleep alone
The men you’ve shared a bed with occasionally seem to always have disrupted your life. And your sleep!
“On the subject of sleep, always try to go to bed together – even when you are mad at each other, even if you’ve been fighting all day, and even if you know that you can’t make everything perfect before bedtime.”
11. Sex isn’t all that important
You like sex now and then, but it’s never really been all that great. And more importantly, you do not want to be required to make it a priority with a partner.
Lastly, “You must put your spouse first at times. Make a sacrifice. If you cannot, marriage just isn’t for you.”
Luxury Matchmaker & Relationship Expert, Select Date Society
12. You are non-traditional
You create your own path in life and don’t follow traditions or conform to social norms. You could definitely commit to a partner, but you would rather be like Oprah & Stedman than have a traditional marriage.
You may picture spending your life with someone, but not as husband and wife.
13. The logistics of a marriage certificate ruin the romance for you
You are a hopeless romantic and being in deep love is more important than marital tax breaks or combining finances. You dread the idea of becoming “a married couple” with no passion.
14. You want to protect your wealth
You’ve worked hard to amass financial security and you don’t want to jeopardize that. Prenups are not appealing to you, so you would rather share your life with a partner than have a husband or wife.
15. You are not willing to compromise
Marriage involves a lot of give and take, and you are just not willing to compromise. If you want to move to Belize next year, you don’t want to have to consult with your spouse before making plans.
16. You are a free spirit
You love change and you hate the idea of “settling down.” You don’t like staying in one place too long and you thrive in new environments. You tend to change jobs, friends, hobbies, and where you live often.
17. You value your career over your relationships
You may be a passionate entrepreneur with big dreams of changing the world. You may dream of dedicating your life to politics, finding a cure for cancer, or leading a non-profit. Whatever your career aspirations, they are more important to you than a relationship will ever be.
18. You are not willing to be vulnerable
Marriage requires vulnerability. You have to be willing to let someone get closer to you than anyone else ever has before. If you have trouble letting your walls down, marriage may not be for you.
19. You have trust issues
You believe that everyone cheats and you are not willing to trust anyone. When you’re in a relationship, you drive your partner away with false allegations. You won’t allow anyone to truly know you intimately, because you are unwilling to let your guard down.
20. You don’t believe in monogamy
You don’t see yourself in a monogamous relationship, so marriage doesn’t appeal to you. You are happiest when you are in a non-committed or non-traditional relationship.
Christian Life Coach and Author
21. You are full of bitterness
Bitterness is one of the number one reasons people who may have a desire to marry will remain single. Bitterness causes a person to put up a wall to block others out.
Bitter people are often negative in their thinking and refuse to resolve the issue(s). Instead, they justify their reasons for being bitter especially because their negative thinking and beliefs attract the negative people they complain about.
This re-enforces a negative cycle of disappointment and continued bitterness where the person often fails to take responsibility for becoming free from his own bitterness. Bitter people would be wise to invite someone in like a therapist to help them to get to the root of the issue.
22. You fail to take responsibility of your personal growth
A person who will never marry is one who fails to take responsibility for his personal growth and outlook in life. This person unknowingly practices deflection where nothing is her responsibility.
Instead, she blames others for where she is in life. She places the responsibility for her happiness and wholeness on others instead of taking responsibility for these things herself.
People are pushed away by someone who doesn’t take responsibility because it’s difficult to get along with such a person. It creates an imbalanced relationship where the other party has to walk on eggshells to be at peace with such a person. This is extraordinarily unhealthy and most will run from this sort of person.
23. You don’t believe in the idea of marriage
Not believing that marriage is something within our reach can cause us to act as if marriage is not within our reach. There is a proverb that says, “So a man thinks so is he.” This means that in a sense, we can create our own reality by what we believe and what we disbelieve. We have to believe that marriage is something that can happen for us and carry ourselves as such in a consistent manner.
An example of this can be a person who has gotten free from the above bitterness and lack of responsibility. Intaking responsibility for where we want our future to go; we need to hang around those who believe we can get married and who will encourage our faith in this area.
This will help us to keep a positive and hopeful attitude and to carry ourselves like it will one day happen for us.
A person who believes it will one day happen for her will take steps of faith in that direction. She will be open to meeting new people, going out to places where people are, and making new friends that can lead to more than friends.
24. You have no desire of being married and wants to enjoy life alone
While many people want to be married; there are just some people who do not wish to be married. Some people are really good with doing life alone. This is okay as long as the single individual has other healthy relationships that provide a support system in his/her life.
Sometimes we expect everyone to desire marriage depending on the culture we’ve grown up in, but it’s okay if someone doesn’t desire marriage.
26. You have unrealistic expectations
Finally, unrealistic expectations can also be a reason for a person to never marry. It’s important to have our negotiables and non-negotiables when looking for a partner. Some people just have unrealistic-negotiables.
These are things in a partner that are intolerable such as the potential partner must be rich or make six figures, must be a certain height, or work a certain type of job. These are things that just aren’t as important and the money thing can change overnight.
Instead of being so rigid about a particular dollar amount; financial stability and security can be a more realistic focus along with a hard work ethic.
I always recommend for singles to look for someone who shares similar values as theirs because that is the most important.
Having someone with great character provides greater security for the relationship because it increases the trustworthiness of that individual. These should have the greater emphasis when it comes to expectations and these should be what we look to build a relationship on.
Relationship Expert | Creator, The Divorce Case | Author, “Female. Likes Cheese. Comes with Dog.: Stories About Divorce, Dating, and Saying I Do”
27. You’re the cat person
Do you have more than two cats and wonder why you’re single? I’m all about pets, and sure, owning one shows you’re a responsible adult, but if there’s no room for a partner in the bed then you may wind up looking at a cozy future of funny cat videos on YouTube instead of doing the deed most nights.
If you prefer tomcat conversations over human ones, this could work out in your favor.
28. Your expectations are too high
If you go into every relationship expecting your partner to score perfect 10’s in every category (humor, sexual performance, intelligence, job security, etc), then you better go ahead and upgrade to the DashPass by DoorDash for many solo nights in.
Lowering or letting go of your expectations and accepting flaws in a partner can allow you to not only find the right person for you but also allows you to be more confident in your own insecurities. The shallow end is for kids to play. Last time I checked, you were an adult – right?
29. You’re afraid to online date
If you’re one of these people that still believe in meeting people the old-fashioned way, I get it. I miss the days of going to a bar and checking out someone from across the room, hoping they’d come over and say hi.
Unfortunately, we live in a world that a) is going through a pandemic and b) is very technologically focused. Change is hard, at any age. You have to be willing to embrace it and try or you’ll just continue to wonder why you can’t find a love like others on Bridgerton.
You don’t believe in marriage
Seems obvious, right? Eh, kind of. A lot of people like to boast that they “don’t believe in marriage” as an excuse not to get married to a specific person, only to turn around and marry the next person they date.
In fairness, though, there are those out there who don’t believe in all the marriage whoopla at all. Maybe you’re one of them! No need to be embarrassed. Embrace life and relationships sans ring.
Matchmaker | Owner, Exclusive Matchmaking
You hate obligations and commitment. Some people do and just need not be committed to someone else. It doesn’t make someone a bad person, but just noncommittal to most people’s way of life.
30. You think it’s just a piece of paper
Lots of people believe this and go on to learn the hard way that it affords you legal protections for you and your loved one and health care. It’s more than a piece of paper, and it means something when someone is willing to declare their love in front of their family and friends.
31. You like being alone and prefer your own company
There is nothing wrong with it. Better to feel this way and not marry than to constantly push your partner away.
32. You don’t like to answer to someone as you have to do in a marriage
You always need to discuss big purchases, navigate the holidays, and must invest enough time in your relationship when married. If you hate these things, you probably won’t be getting married.
33. You march to the beat of your own drum
Its sort of like you aren’t traditional, but you set the pathway for your life and maybe it’s about your career, family, friends, and casual, romantic relationships than marriage.
If you don’t want children, you might never marry
For some, there is no point even though others think nothing of having a child with just one parent, others believe it should only be within a marriage. If they don’t want them, they don’t care about marriage.
When you are not a traditional person
Institutions such as marriage aren’t meaningful to you, to begin with. Chances are, it’s not the priority in your life as much as it is with others, so there’s plenty of people that live together in long-term relationships.
Dating Expert, Dating Scout
34. You value your freedom
There are people who learned to be independent and live on their own. Living on your own, making decisions on your own, doing things on your own—these are just some things that you enjoy as an independent person.
You get used to this without to the point that you are not willing to give it up anymore to give way to a committed relationship, more importantly, marriage.
35. You have different priorities
Both of you may believe that starting a family is on the list, but you disagree when it comes to marriage. Weddings are usually expensive and time-consuming so one of you would want to let it go.
There may have been disagreements on which priorities and milestones to take next. If this is the case, you should have a serious talk and make decisions together and be open to compromises.
As a relationship expert, I consider marriage, not a big deal. It is everyone’s decision whether they would be happy to tie the knot or not.
That’s why it’s essential to listen to what your mind and heart desire. These combinations will tell you to favor the life you want that doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.
That being said, here are some lists of the signs that you will never get married:
36. You believe that marriage is not a fairytale with a happy ending story
Marriage is every girl’s dream, thinking that walking down the aisle is the answer to a happy life. However, marriage is a different idea for you. It doesn’t sound like you are bitter, but for you, marriage is not the solution.
37. You have commitment issues
It is not a bad thing to consider about it. Honestly, you are not meant for marriage if you can’t vision being with someone.
38. You still enjoy your bachelor’s life
You want to live your life to the fullest. You enjoy traveling and partying without worrying that you may hurt someone’s feelings. That’s why you think that it is better to end up single with no commitments.
Digital Marketing Executive, Zevo Health
Some people think that every person’s final purpose is to get married and start a family, but there are people who choose a different path in life. These are the kind of people who doesn’t need to get married to feel whole. We all have our reasons and recognizing signs and understanding what you want in life is crucial.
So, what are the signs that might tell you that you will never get married? Here are a few of them:
39. You haven’t find the right one yet and you don’t expect to
You don’t need to be with someone to feel whole. So, if you’ve never had a real relationship, there might be a chance that you are not just wired that way.
40. You’re not into weddings
You don’t like a grand gesture of showing your love to someone. You don’t appreciate the expensive price tag that comes with having a wedding.. After all, you believe that a grand wedding doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage.
41. You have major trust issues
You’ve been burned a lot of times and you find it hard to trust your whole life to someone.
42. You are contented with where you are in your life right now
You are happy about where you are right now. You know that marriage may change a lot of things in your life. You might have to move to a different country or switch to a different job after marriage. You can’t afford to give it all up for someone.
43. You are independent
You are fine on your own. You appreciate the time you have for yourself and you don’t like worrying about someone other than yourself. Marriage would mean that you have to give up your freedom. No, thanks.
44. You have heard of horror stories about marriage
You probably know someone who has suffered because of marriage and you don’t want to go through the same pain. While it’s unlikely for that same thing to happen to you, you just can’t leave it to chances.
You don’t want kids
Contrary to what other people think, not everyone wants kids. You just don’t see yourself capable of raising a child.
It’s not selfish thinking this way. In fact, it’s better to be honest about it than bear a child you can be responsible for. Of course, you don’t have to get married to have kids, but having this kind of perception id a red flag when talking about marriage.
You don’t believe in monogamy
You can’t bring yourself to commit to one person for the rest of your life.
You are not a traditional person and you don’t intend to be
Sure, you respect people proving their love and commitment by getting married, but you don’t see any difference from the commitment of unmarried couple. Love and trust is the foundation of a strong relationship, not a marriage contract.
You don’t believe in the institution of marriage
Whether it didn’t work out for your parents or you just don’t believe that a marriage contract would do you any good, it’s fine. To each his own, they say.
Rebekka Grun von Jolk, Ph.D.
Economist, Dateconomics | Author
With all due respect, there are no “signs that you will never get married”
People often worry they might never get married, because they compare their own age with their parents’ age at marriage. But that is a futile comparison because in most countries, and definitely in America, the age at first marriage has been rising for several decades.
So we are/will be likely older at our marriage than our parents were at theirs. First marriages at or after age 50 are more and more frequent.
Similarly, many people worry that ‘nobody marries anymore’ when looking at the statistics and seeing that the overall share of married people in the population goes down.
But the two trends are the same really: people marry later in life, and with life expectancy rising less than the marriage age, people are married for a shorter part of their lives than before.
Overall, a smaller share of the population is married, right now, as a snapshot in time. But most people still marry. In America, the likelihood to get married, at all, at least once in your life, is about 90%. That is very high.
If you want a popular person that got married relatively late in life, think Kamala Harris. She married shortly before her 50th birthday, for the first time.
More important than when you marry, is that you marry the right person. You will be happy about every year you waited when you finally meet the right one. Talking from experience here.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does being single mean that you will never get married?
Not necessarily. Being single doesn’t mean you’ll never get married, and being married is no guarantee of lifelong happiness or fulfillment. Many people choose to remain single, and that’s perfectly fine.
However, if you want to get married, there are things you can do to increase your chances of finding a suitable partner, for example:
• Engaging in activities that match your interests and values. This can help you meet like-minded people who have similar goals and priorities.
• Taking the time to reflect on your needs, desires, and deal-breakers in a relationship. This will help you figure out what you want in a partner and avoid settling for less than you deserve.
• Working on your communication skills. Effective communication is essential to a healthy relationship. That’s why practicing active listening, assertiveness, and empathy can be helpful.
• Being open to new experiences and people. Sometimes the best relationships come in unexpected places or with people you may not have considered before.
What if I want to get married but have never been in a relationship?
If you want to get married but have never been in a relationship, it can be helpful to focus on developing your social skills and expanding your social network. Some possible ways to do this are:
• Joining clubs or organizations that match your interests. This will help you meet new people who share your passions and values.
• Volunteering or getting involved in your community. This way, you can build relationships while giving back to others.
• Taking up a new hobby or trying something new. This can help you meet people outside your social circle and broaden your horizons.
• Seeking support from a therapist or coach. They can help you overcome obstacles to building relationships and develop strategies for building connections with others.
Can you still have a fulfilling life without getting married?
Absolutely! Marriage isn’t the only path to happiness, and many people choose to remain single or prioritize other aspects of their lives. It’s important to remember that everyone’s definition of fulfillment differs, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Some potential ways to lead a fulfilling life without getting married include:
Pursuing your passions and interests. Whether it’s traveling, pursuing a career, or engaging in hobbies, doing what you love can give you a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Building strong friendships and family relationships. Close relationships with friends and family can give you support, connection, and love.
Volunteering or giving back to others. Helping others can give your life meaning and purpose.
Practicing self-care and self-improvement. Taking care of yourself physically and mentally can make you feel happier and more fulfilled.
Setting and achieving personal goals. Working toward personal goals, whether related to your career, education, or personal growth, can give you a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.
What if I feel pressured by society or family to get married?
It isn’t uncommon to feel pressured by society or family to marry, but it is important to remember that the decision to marry should ultimately be yours alone. Some ways to deal with the pressure of getting married are:
• Setting boundaries with family and friends. Let them know that while you appreciate their concern, you must make decisions about your life and relationship status.
• Communicating your feelings and concerns openly and honestly with those who are pressuring you. Help them understand where you are coming from and why marriage may not be your priority right now.
• Focusing on your own goals and priorities. Remember that your life and happiness ultimately depend on you, and it’s important to focus on what brings you fulfillment and joy.
• Surround yourself with supportive people who respect your choices and values. A strong support system can help you feel more confident and empowered in your choices.
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