What Type of Woman Is an Alpha Male Attracted To?

What is an alpha male? Some say this is used to describe a man who’s a natural-born leader. Other men want to be him, believing that many women want to be with him. But he may be picky when it comes to choosing his partner.

Here are specific types of women that an alpha male is attracted to:

Sabine Saadeh

Sabine Saadeh

Author, Trading Love

A woman who validates her existence through kindness, not through worldly possessions

The whole experience begins with a human being’s desire to experience the awful magnitude of standing on the edge of a cliff and imagining what it would be like to leap into the abyss.

The alpha male is the man that conquers that glimpse of another world of consequences.

He is ultimately fearless and incredibly cunning. These characteristics make him the most attractive king in the jungle; all the women dream of him, desire him, and seek him out.

Games and calculations are deployed in an ever-competitive environment to catch that alpha male. Only this man knows what he wants exactly and can see through juvenile play-offs.

A grounded, free-spirited woman

The alpha male is usually attracted to a free-spirited woman that is grounded. This means he is attracted to a woman with an actual life instead of a lifestyle.

She would be a person that validates her existence through kindness and not through worldly possessions.

A woman with the ability to possess altruistic activities

What dignifies her is the fact that she has the ability to possess altruistic activities and instill them in her daily life.

He is attracted to her natural disposition of being free from short-term emotional shackles and social burdens, yet is grounded enough to understand that life has boundaries that should be respected.

Related: How to Deal With Someone Who Doesn’t Respect Boundaries

A woman with patience and perseverance to handle downturns

After all, a man becomes an alpha male after encountering many hurdles and successfully overcoming them; that is why he would be wild about a woman that understands what that feels like.

A woman who is pleasant enough to counter his compulsive nature

He wants a woman with a character that naturally emits pleasantness where his compulsive nature can find solace in, while she allows him to lead her and protect her, infusing his environment with a soft feminine energy.

An alpha male is looking for the connection between a man and a woman that turns them into a powerful dynamic couple that would develop into a special relationship that lasts a lifetime.

Amber Lee

Amber Lee

CEO and Certified Matchmaker, Select Date Society

He is attracted to women with confidence

An Alpha male is typically the most confident guy in the room, and he is naturally going to be drawn to a confident woman. When you carry yourself with confidence, you will catch his eye.

Dress like a confident woman, walk with a good posture and make eye contact.

Women with feminine personality traits

Alpha men are attracted to their opposite: the feminine female. Alpha men love women who wear dresses, heels, and take pride in their appearance.

Alpha men are also attracted to feminine personality traits. They are drawn to women who are warm, caring and nurturing.

A woman who allows him to lead

Alpha men want to take the lead—so if you’re going to attract an Alpha man, you need to allow him to lead. Alpha men are not attracted to women who need to be the decision-maker.

If you are both strong-willed and insist on being in charge, the relationship will never work. An Alpha male needs his partner to be comfortable following as he takes the lead.

Someone who’s supportive

An alpha man is typically ambitious and focused on achieving, so he needs a strong support system. He needs someone who will be there to listen to him, encourage him, and be his biggest cheerleader along the way.

Alisha Powell, PhD, LCSW

Alisha Powell

Licensed Clinical Social Worker | Therapist, Your Life Professors

She has strong intuition and a sense of self

An alpha male is attracted to an alpha female but his criteria for her is different than he has for himself. An alpha male prides himself on being superior to others.

Whether it be his height, wealth, intelligence, or looks, there’s something he brings to the table that others don’t have and he looks for something that is rare in a woman he’s interested in.

  • She needs to be at the top of her game as a woman.
  • She is beautiful and takes care of herself in ways the enhance her natural beauty.
  • She embraces a healthy lifestyle—cooks meals that make him think twice about getting fast food.
  • She doesn’t have to live by every word he says but she is cooperative and easy going.
  • She embraces her emotions but doesn’t weaponize them against him.
  • She is less concerned about her career and more interested in creating a warm and inviting atmosphere that helps him recharge after a long day.
  • She enjoys making others smile.
  • She is able to navigate seamlessly through various social circles.
  • She has strong intuition and a sense of self.

Chrysanthi Themistokleous

Chrysanthi Themistokleous

Relationship Coach and Content Creator, Dating Advisors

A woman who has her life together

Everyone can appreciate an active lifestyle from their partners. A woman who looks after her health and physical appearance shows that she is both independent and confident.

Alpha males tend to gravitate towards a woman who has her life together and loves to give a man the thrill of the chase. A stubborn woman won’t take an argument lying down either, which, for some men, gets their blood pumping.

It’s easy to assume an alpha male would be interested in a woman who will challenge him both on a physical and emotional level, but that’s not always the case. Some of them like to go for the opposite side of the spectrum.

Having a woman who doesn’t match an alpha male’s lifestyle enhances his masculinity. Not every argument has to turn into a fight. In fact, a woman who is more emotionally dependent will likely be the peacemaker in the relationship.

A “beta” woman, in this case, is doing a much better job at retaining her relationship with the alpha male than an aggressive “alpha” woman.

A more traditionally feminine woman

Sharing interests with your romantic partner set a common ground where the two parties can bond in their relationship with one another.

The similarities one shares with their partner are often the things that keep them together during those rough patches. However, like many things in the world, there is some truth in the “opposites attract” saying.

An alpha male is often described as the epitome of masculinity, so a more traditionally feminine woman inspires strong feelings of attraction in them.

So, what’s a “feminine” woman like? Well, this often varies based on each person’s culture as well as biological and social factors. A “feminine” woman is commonly described as sensitive and expressive, in touch with her feelings. An hourglass figure and long hair are also physical attributes that pertain to femininity.

A woman who triggers their “hero” instinct

There’s no woman out there who likes to feel like a damsel in distress, but you’d be surprised how much men gravitate towards a woman in need.

This is especially true if you are a woman who is perfectly capable of taking care of yourself; it boosts their confidence and makes them feel useful and needed.

If you want to trigger the “Hero” instinct of the alpha male, all you need to do is show him that you trust him enough to ask for help on something important.

Of course, you don’t have to put yourself in a compromising position.

  • If he is an athletic man, you could ask for his help moving things around the house.
  • If he is more tech-savvy, you can ask his opinion on your next laptop.

These usually open up opportunities to invite them out; it could be something simple like treating them to a meal to say “thank you.” Make sure you let them know you appreciate their help, too, as that will make them feel accomplished and more likely to offer their help in any future situations.

Dr. Brenda Wade

Brenda Wade

Clinical Psychologist | Relationship Advisor, Online For Love

They look for the “mother type”

Some alpha males are looking for the “mother type” and want a loving, caring, gentle, compassionate person who doesn’t challenge their ego and allows them to be the “Captain of the Ship.” Their partner is viewed and treated more like a “Deckhand.”

Other alpha males want their partners to be in control of themselves and their own lives and do not want to be in a relationship with someone who needs a lot from them.

They want to be able to sit down, put their feet up and let their partner take over for a while so they can take a break and renew their energy. Someone who always needs to be in charge gets tired and needs a break, especially when alpha males are at home.

They need nurturing and downtime. However, when it comes to sex, alpha males like to dominate and be in charge. They can be rough and wildly passionate.

Finding balance

In any kind of relationship, people are always seeking some balance.

When dealing with a controlling partner, one of the oldest tricks in the book is the person who pretends to be submissive but is actually making decisions and making things happen when the other person isn’t looking.

Related: 25+ Warning Signs of a Controlling Partner

I can attest to this, as my Dad was a very busy and controlling person in business, but when he came home at night, my Mother ran the ship, and it was tight!

If you don’t take a break, life will break you. I strongly recommend that alphas take a break because alphas are more likely to have health issues if they don’t. If you find you are with someone that needs to be in control all of the time, you are not with an alpha; you are with a control freak.

Nancy Landrum, M.A.

Nancy Landrum

Relationship Coach | Creator, The Millionaire Marriage Club

They can either be attracted to a softer woman or to a strong, independent woman

Alpha males can be drawn to various types:

  • Some may be attracted to softer women who appreciate their strength.
  • Others may admire and feel challenged by a strong, independent woman.

My experience

An alpha male can be self-directed, self-confident, and a leader in his field. Those qualities may or may not be associated with physical strength and competence.

My husband Jim had all of the first qualities but was not a beefy, physically strong man. His first wife was very ill off and on with a rare disease. He lessened her stress as much as possible by overseeing their finances and being the only breadwinner. He also avoided conflicts that might upset her and cause another hospitalization.

After my first husband died, I took on all the responsibilities of parenting two baby boys and managing my household. After a few years of being a single mom, my sister said to me, “You are too independent. What man would want you?”

It took about two weeks of contemplation before I decided, “If I have to pretend to be someone I’m not to please a man, I’d rather be single forever.”

A few years later, a mutual friend introduced me to Jim. We became friends, had fun dates, and slowly fell in love. He said he admired my capabilities and welcomed a woman that could be more of an equal partner to him.

We loved, learned, and eventually worked together. He never flagged in his belief in my intelligence and gifts. Without his belief and encouragement, I seriously doubt I could have accomplished even half as much as I have with my life.

I’m forever grateful that we were never competitive with each other. I was not a threat to his “alpha maleness” but rather a compliment to his considerable intelligence and abundant accomplishments.

Samantha Gambino, Psy.D.

Samantha Gambino

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

A female who’s selfless to a fault

The alpha male is drawn to attractive, intelligent, and kind women. Their women are also successful, but usually not more successful than them.

The alpha male can be pretty insecure under their charismatic, charming outer shell. Therefore, they need a female who is selfless to a fault. The alpha male’s needs will always come first, so they need a woman who is willing to put her needs on hold and prioritize his needs.

A female who is always ready to sacrifice her own needs often struggles with insecurity and self-doubt. While she appears strong and confident on the outside, she may have difficulty prioritizing herself on a much deeper level.

She may unconsciously dismiss her own needs in the service of the alpha male.

Susan Trombetti

Susan Trombetti

Relationship Expert and Matchmaker, Exclusive Matchmaking

She certainly needs to be accomplished

When it comes to alpha males, many people feel that he is looking for another version of himself. As a matchmaker, I can tell you that isn’t always true.

Alpha males are looking for the entire package, but they need to consent to him or be a bit more passive because they believe they are the decision-makers.

Alpha males are also evolved enough to know it should be give and take, so a person who can hold their own and stand up to him simultaneously is the perfect partner because they tend not to take other people’s feelings into account too much.

This person certainly needs to be accomplished, but as in any relationship, it’s very important to have someone kind and caring because they need to be the better half for the extended relationships with people where he lacks people skills.

Understand that alpha males make snap decisions over illogical things. It could be your eyebrows, and I say this from experience. Nothing is wrong with your eyebrows, but he may not like them dyed or microbladed. Maybe it’s Botox and fillers he doesn’t like.

A woman who presents a bit of a challenge

You need to be able not to fall into his life at first but maintain your own equilibrium and present a bit of a challenge for them to feel like they want to move forward.

This is not some version of The Rules book, but what I observe as a matchmaker. Don’t be swept off your feet but maintain your sense of self why you evaluate before you wonder where the real you went.

Sunil Bhuyan

Sunil Bhuyan

CEO, The Lost Gamer

Strong, confident, and independent women

Alpha males are often attracted to strong, confident, and independent women. These women know what they want and aren’t afraid to go after it. These women are usually self-sufficient and don’t need a man to care for them.

They also have a strong sense of self-worth, making them attractive to alpha males.

Women who are down-to-earth and have a good sense of humor

The type of woman an alpha male is typically attracted to is down-to-earth and has a good sense of humor. These women are usually easygoing and enjoy spending time with friends and family.

Women who are classy and have a good sense of style

A lot of men find women who are classy and have a good sense of style attractive. These women know how to dress well and make an impression, which can be very alluring to a man.

They also know how to carry themselves with confidence, which is another quality that many men find attractive.

Physically attractive women

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as the type of woman an alpha male is attracted to can vary depending on his individual preferences.

However, some alpha males may be drawn to physically attractive women, have a toned physique, and exhibit qualities such as confidence and intelligence.

Sameera Sullivan

Sameera Sullivan

Relationship Expert, Sameera Sullivan Matchmakers

A man who is confident, headstrong, competent, and is self-aware, sure of what he wants, and who goes for it, qualifies as an alpha male. One who is at the top of the social hierarchy.

What is an alpha male’s type?

Confident and headstrong women

First and foremost alpha males prefer confident and headstrong women. Insecure and indecisive women are a big turnoff for them as they cannot rely on them.

Related: 10+ Signs of Insecurity in a Woman

Women who are loyal

Secondly, they expect loyalty as anyone would from their girlfriend but for alpha males, it is a must.

Intelligent women

Intelligent women are also another tick in the box in an alpha males checklist. Alpha males expect their women to stimulate them intellectually and are someone they can have logical conversations with.

Purpose-driven women

They also tend to prefer women who have the drive and are driven towards a purpose as they would themselves be.

Michelle Devani

Michelle Devani

Founder, LoveDevani

Women who are attentive to their needs and encourages them

Alpha males are those who act according to their masculinity and are dominant in society. Based on my observation, there are certain characteristics that Alpha males are attracted to girls.

Here are the following:

  • Feminine. Being a feminine lady entails bringing out your gentler, nurturing side. This also suggests you’re more docile or subservient. It encourages them to rule you and take care of you.
  • Supportive. You must observe an alpha guy for clues of what he enjoys. Since they are confident in decision-making, trust his confidence in that part of the relationship. Alpha males appreciate a lady who is attentive to their needs and encourages them.

Daniel Sathyanesan

Daniel Sathyanesan

Founder and CEO, Winden

He seeks out an equally talented partner

The world of CEOs and the high-tech industry is filled with “Alpha” types, and I can tell you from personal experience that the most talented men tend to seek out equally talented partners.

While short-term relationships and flings sometimes don’t have to be based on anything more than physical attraction, the spouses of the CEOs I keep in touch with could easily run their own companies—and some actually do.

In relationships, people want to have things in common—and being an “Alpha” is an outlook on life. It’s part ambition, part work ethic. In partners, we’re looking for people who understand us and can relate to our drive.

Leslie Radka

Leslie Radka

Founder and Hiring Manager, Great People Search

A cheerfully confident woman who matches his wit

This man is the type that is dormant, loves taking charge, and can influence others to agree with his will. He is very charming, and basically, every lady wants to be around him.

He is loud, confident, and does not care what others think about them.

The alpha male will be greatly attracted to the cheerfully confident woman who matches his wit. This is the kind of woman who is easy to talk to, and that makes friends easily. The fact that this woman is happy with herself greatly attracts the alpha male to her.

An intelligent woman will also attract an alpha male. Intelligence is key to this natural-leader man because he feels he can easily connect with such a person. They can make uncommon jokes and share a private moment of laughter because the woman has high antennae for intelligence.

The he-alpha also loves an elegant woman with whom he can show off to his friends during social interactions because it boosts his ego and satisfies the need to be held in high regard.

Point worth noting

While the alpha male will be attracted to a woman with qualities above, it is worth noting that he will only approach her if he feels secure that the woman will not steal his shine.

Naturally, this man loves thriving and being the center of attraction. He is dominant, and a woman likely to challenge that in him stands no chance of being chosen among many.

Therefore, despite being attracted to that type of woman who almost matches his qualities, alpha males mostly end up settling with less dominant and less conspicuous women where personality is concerned.

Grant Polachek

Grant Polachek

Head of Marketing, Squadhelp

Women with a vision and a hint of stubbornness

Strong women who have their goals set and a vision to work for are key to an alpha male’s heart.

These are essential qualities an alpha guy looks for in his girl:

  • Persistence
  • Passion
  • Patience


  • Confident women who are assertive about their needs and wants in life are attractive.
  • A hint of stubbornness and strong women are admired because these are the traits of an alpha male, and they search for the same in good amounts in their other halves.

Lisamarie Monaco

Lisamarie Monaco

National Independent Life Insurance Agent, Insurance For Burial

A woman who has mad serious goals

The type of woman that an Alpha Male is attracted to is a woman who is strong, focused, determined, organized, and who has some seriously massive goals.

He will feed off that great energy and want more and do better on every level of life. When he sees that she doesn’t need a man or can do her own thing, that is attractive to him.

Family life, home, and work level

When a woman can balance family life, home, and work-life well, that is sexy to the Alpha Male. The key to any relationship is to be one within first, be happy, strong, committed to yourself, and then add another human to that; you come together with great balance.

Related: How to Live a Balanced Life? What Does it Really Mean?

Happiness within you first

You can not expect anyone else to make you happy. You have to be happy within yourself first. A strong independent woman who has this beautiful trait attracts the Alpha Male, as he wants the same thing. Another human enhances your happiness.

Janet Coleman

Janet Coleman

Co-Founder, The Consumer Mag

They are often drawn to strong, independent women

Alpha males are the most confident, powerful, and successful men in society. They are often leaders, although not always. Alpha males also do not always pair up with a female alpha mate.

These guys typically prefer who they want and go after them. They know what they want and how to get it, so there is little doubt about what type of woman an alpha male is attracted to.

Confident, independent women

Alpha males are often drawn to strong, independent women who can be their equals in both workplace and home life.

These men often lead at work and prefer capable women who can do the same alongside them at home. This type of woman is likely to be an equal partner to an alpha male because she is smart enough to understand her partner’s needs as much as she needs him.

They may even be more attracted to this type of woman because they know she will remain with them if they have difficulty making money or holding down a job.

She won’t need him for financial security but rather as a partner and companion. Alpha males tend to be very driven; they like partners who understand that drive and are willing to support it by fulfilling their roles in the relationship or marriage.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is the concept of the alpha male harmful to men?

The alpha male concept can harm men if it reinforces negative gender stereotypes or promotes toxic behavior. For example, if the idea of being an alpha male is associated with aggression, dominance, or lack of empathy for others, it can be damaging to both the individual and those around them.

It’s important to remember that there is no one right way to be a man and that masculinity can take many different forms. Men who feel pressured to conform to a particular image of the alpha male may struggle with self-esteem, mental health, or relationship issues.

On the other hand, some men find the concept of the alpha male empowering and use it to develop self-confidence and assertiveness.

It’s important to recognize that each person’s experience is unique and that there is no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to issues of identity and self-expression.

The key is to approach the alpha male concept with a critical eye and a willingness to challenge assumptions and stereotypes.

By promoting healthy, respectful behavior and rejecting toxic or harmful attitudes, men can develop a positive and empowering sense of masculinity that benefits themselves and those around them.

Can women be alpha females?

The alpha male concept is often associated with men, but there is no reason why women can’t also exhibit alpha traits. An alpha female is typically defined as a confident, assertive woman who takes charge in social situations.

Like the alpha male, the concept of the alpha female can be controversial and reinforce negative gender stereotypes. However, it’s important to remember that women have the right to express themselves in ways they find authentic and empowering.

If you’re a woman who feels drawn to the alpha female persona, there are many ways to cultivate the qualities associated with that.

Focus on building self-confidence, assertiveness, and self-awareness, and practice setting clear boundaries and communicating your needs and desires.

Remember that being an alpha female doesn’t mean being aggressive or domineering. Rather, it’s about embodying qualities like self-confidence, leadership, and respect for others.

By staying true to yourself and cultivating these qualities, you can develop a fulfilling and empowering sense of femininity that will benefit you and those around you.

How can I become an alpha male?

The idea of becoming an alpha male appeal to many men, but it’s important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach.

The qualities that are typically associated with alpha males, such as self-confidence and assertiveness, can be developed over time through practice and self-awareness.

One way to become more confident is to focus on your strengths and successes. Take time to think about what you’re good at and what you have accomplished so far in your life. This can help you build a positive self-image and feel more secure in yourself.

Another key aspect of alpha male behavior is assertiveness. This means that you’re willing to stand up for yourself and clearly communicate your needs and boundaries.

Practice being assertive in your daily interactions, whether at work or in your personal relationships. Start small and build up to more challenging situations as you feel more comfortable.

It’s important to remember that being an alpha male doesn’t mean being aggressive or domineering. True alpha male behavior is characterized by confidence, assertiveness, and respect for others.

If you strive to embody these qualities in your interactions with others, you’re well on your way to becoming the best version of yourself.

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

As you found this post useful...

Share it on social media!

We are sorry that this post was not useful for you!

Let us improve this post!

Tell us how we can improve this post?