We say that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. If we take a flower (as an example), it looks completely different in different eyes. Looking at the same flower, humans, insects, dogs, and cats see a different flower; different colors, different vibes, different pleasure. If we go a bit further, each human perceives that flower differently.
The same goes for whatever else you look at, including yourself. If you’re looking at yourself through the lenses of others only, you’ll never get to see your true self. Then, how can you love what you don’t know?
Give yourself an ‘undivided perspective’ of who and how you are. That means to:
- Know yourself better
- Accept and walk beyond your limitations that you cannot change
- Make YOUR opinion about yourself the most relevant one
- Applaud your successes
- Forgive your failures
- Offer yourself compassion and understanding
We live in a society of extremes. Not that we all became overnight somehow extremist, but what is paraded in front of you are only the extremes.
Take as an example, J.K. Rowling. She’s the epiphany of that extreme. She’s given as an example of how persistence and perseverance can make you (extremely) successful. Yet, no one ever tells you about the other tens of thousands of writers that do their best, persist and persevere, but never succeed… as if their effort doesn’t count…
You only get to see, and hear about, the extremes: good-hearted people (heroes) opposite to the wicked ones. No one seems to be interested in the ordinary. However, most of us are ‘the ordinary’.
Value yourself by your own standards; compare yourself to your former self, not to others; embrace who you are today so you can be better tomorrow (if you want to be).
Most people who try desperately to be perfect, do so because fear they will not be loved if they are not perfect. Do you feel the same? Do you think you must be perfect to love yourself? Or, do you love yourself only when you’re perfect?
Isn’t that a paradox?! To abandon yourself when you need the most your unconditional love and acceptance?
Discover in this article, 12 of the best books on loving yourself and learn how, why, and what determines self-love.
Table of Contents
- 1. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are – Brené Brown
- 2. Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It – Kamal Ravikant
- 3. Madly in Love with ME: The Daring Adventure of Becoming Your Own Best Friend – Christine Arylo
- 4. Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha – Tara Brach
- 5. Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe the World – William H. McRaven
- 6. Spirit Junkie: A Radical Road to Self-Love and Miracles – Gabrielle Bernstein
- 7. Choosing ME Before WE: Every Woman’s Guide to Life and Love – Christine Arylo
- 8. How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t: 14 Habits that Are Holding You Back from Happiness – Andrea Owen
- 9. How to Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People): Spiritual Advice for Modern Relationships – Lodro Rinzler, Meggan Watterson
- 10. Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance – Rosie Molinary
- 11. Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person – Shonda Rhimes
- 12. Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers – Dr. Karyl McBride, Ph.D.
We cannot easily escape comparing ourselves to others. It’s human nature. We make statistics and comparisons to define the value of everything.
However, the cruelest comparison you can do, it’s comparing yourself to what you think you should have become. Life is full of unexpected events, turns of circumstances, and many challenges.
Learn how to forgive yourself for not becoming (precisely) who you wanted to be. Feel that you’re enough as you are right now; that’s your ground level from which you can build a new dream for the future, a new aspiration, the best version of yourself.
Read this book, and discover how to move on from what you believed you must be, and embrace who you are.
Can you count how many times you said: “I hate myself because […]”? What about saying “I love myself because […]”?
We need to have a reason for whatever we do in life. Read this book, and discover what’s the reason why you should/ you can love yourself unconditionally.
What of the two next sentences do you think can have the most positive result?
“I’m worthless” or
“I haven’t done so well today, but I’m learning”?
Loving yourself is an act of kindness and acceptance, not selfishness.
Self-love doesn’t depend on how successful you are or how much you give to others. This book helps us cultivate and sustain the habit of self-love for a lifetime.
Tara guides us in healing the shame and fear that bind our hearts.
Life is sometimes tough, other times challenging. Sometimes you manage to rise to the bar, other times you don’t. But there is no situation when you should abandon yourself. Lack of self-love can you feel like your best friends left you in the ditch when you needed their support the most.
Stand up and show up for yourself, and life gets easier and more enjoyable.
Your belief system is not based on facts as your fears are not based on facts. You can change fear into courage; you can turn a limiting belief into an empowering one.
Read this book and discover how you can be the hero of your life, love yourself more, and become a self-assured person.
Most women use the verbs must and should more often than any other. No matter the situation, if they allow themselves to use the verbs (I)want and (I)desire, petrifying anxiety kicks in. Then, they lose themselves in caring for others, forgetting to be alive.
Read this book, and come back to life. After all, it is yours!
This book is a treasure for anyone who wants to overcome:
- Negative self-talk,
- Being too self-conscious,
- Suffering from the imposter syndrome
- Self-criticism, self-sabotage, and approval seeker
- Allowing yourself to be left behind
Do you feel pressured to improve yourself? This book gives you the tools to improve your life because you, you are good enough.
“I was not born for happiness, or I only knew the pain that precedes it and the sadness that follows it?“ (Emil Cioran, philosopher)
That is a quote that could summarise how your soul must be feeling if you allow one past bad experience to shave the way you love.
Discover in this book, how to get free from the loveless prison you made for yourself.
“You are beautiful no matter what they say.”
Funny story, in my early 30s I put on almost 40 pounds in less than six months. No one said anything, no one gave me dirty looks… except one person. That person was a seriously overweight friend. You know the saying “you must be one to know one”?
That story is funny and sad. Funny, because of “a tiny piece of a broken pot, laughs at the broken pot”. Sad, because that friend (most probably) wouldn’t have seen my “uprising” without struggling with the same battle.
Does it make you uncomfortable to say, feel and think “I love myself”? As if that’s an affront to your modesty?
Learn from this book, how to get comfortable loving, appreciating, and accepting yourself.
There is no such thing as a perfect human…that’s fine! If for no other reason, if we were all perfect, the world would be a sad, boring, and loveless place.
Do you feel you have lost something you have never had? If you grew up with a loveless mother, most probably, you don’t talk about it. Not because it’s your fault, but because most people judge you for telling the truth, your truth.
Those around you can’t even comprehend how is possible that your mother can be different than theirs.
Among all the relationships people have in life, the relationship between mother and daughter, by definition must be loving, attentive, and caring. That’s supposed to be the first example (for the daughter) of how unconditional love feels.
Can you love yourself if your own mother never loved you? Yes, you can. It can take you a long(er) journey to get there, but when you arrive there, you’ll feel free for the first time in your life.