When it comes to relationships, one of the most important things you can do is develop patience. After all, being able to weather the ups and downs with your partner is key to sustaining a long-term relationship.
But what does it take to be patient in a relationship?
According to experts, here are helpful ways to be patient in a relationship, especially when things are not going the way you want them to:
Being patient is not easy, especially when you care deeply about someone and want the relationship to progress.
Perhaps you have been dating for a while, and you feel ready to take things to the next level, but your partner is content with taking things slow. Maybe you are eager to start a family, but your partner wants to wait a few years.
Learning to be more patient can be difficult, but it is an important skill to develop if you want your relationship to last.
Here are a few tips for how to be more patient in a relationship:
Understand that everyone moves at their own pace
We all move through life at our own pace. It’s important to remember that not everyone experiences things in the same way or at the same time. Just because you are ready for something does not mean that your partner is too. Try to be understanding and respectful of where they are at.
Don’t try to force them into anything
If you try to force your partner into doing something they’re not ready for, it will only backfire and create tension in the relationship.
Instead of pushing them, have an open and honest conversation about your feelings and why you feel ready for whatever it is you want (e.g., moving in together, getting married, having kids, etc.). If they’re not on the same page as you, be willing to compromise and meet in the middle.
Talk about your expectations for the future
It can be helpful to talk about your hopes and dreams for the future so that your partner knows what you want long-term. This way, they can either start getting on board with your plans or let you know from the beginning that they’re not on the same page as you.
Either way, it’s important to communicate openly so that there are no surprises down the road.
Distract yourself when you feel yourself getting impatient
When you start feeling impatient, try distracting yourself by focusing on something else entirely.
Go for a walk, read a book, call a friend — do anything that will take your mind off of whatever it is you’re feeling impatient about. The more you can focus on other things, the less patient you’ll feel in general.
Practice mindfulness meditation
Mindfulness meditation is an excellent way to learn how to be more present at the moment and less focused on the future. The goal of mindfulness meditation is to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment or attachment.
If you can learn how to do this, you’ll find that it becomes easier to be patient because you’re not as focused on what’s going to happen next. Instead, you’re able to simply enjoy whatever it is that you’re doing at the moment.
There are plenty of mindfulness meditation apps available that can help you get started with this practice. I recommend Headspace.com or Calm.com.
Patience is essential for any long-lasting relationship. It can be tough to be patient, especially when you care deeply about someone and want things to progress.
However, by understanding that everyone moves at their own pace, talking about your expectations for the future, and practicing mindfulness meditation, you can learn to be more patient in a relationship.
Give these tips a try next time you’re feeling impatience starting to creep up.
Colleen Wenner-Foy, MA. LCMHC-S, LPC, MCAP
Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor | Founder and Clinical Director, New Heights Counseling and Consulting LLC
Part of learning to be patient involves learning how to listen well.
To do this, you need to practice being attentive and empathetic. Learn to pay attention to others without interrupting them. This requires you to slow down your pace and focus on what the other person is telling us. Those involved in the relationship with you will feel valued and respected.
Accept the flaws of others
Nobody’s perfect, and those in a relationship with you will have flaws they may not even know about. If you can accept these flaws, then it will make it easier for you to forgive them when they do something wrong.
Patience is all about accepting things as they are. It doesn’t mean you condone their behavior or agree with it. It means that you understand that people are imperfect and that we all make mistakes.
Be willing to compromise
It takes two to tango. You cannot expect someone else to change if you don’t want to change yourself. In a relationship, you should work out compromises so both parties can get what they want. In exhibiting patience through compromise, you show respect for the other person.
Avoid taking everything personally
Relationships are complex, and it’s easy to let your emotions get the best of you. If you find yourself getting angry, think before reacting.
Seek to understand and try to see the situation from the other person’s point of view. When you let negativity get to you, you’re more likely to make a mistake. Stop, breathe slowly and deeply, thinking before you say something that will hurt someone else.
Be open to new ideas
Relationships are dynamic, and your willingness to accept new ideas and ways of doing things will help you stay connected.
Keep an open mind, and don’t close yourself off to new possibilities from those in a relationship with you. Your willingness to learn will also help you grow as a person.
Humanistic and Existential Psychotherapist
Be aware of your “negativity bias”
In order to be patient in a relationship, I think we have to be aware of our “negativity bias.” As humans, we are wired to scan the environment for threats. This frequently happens in relationships, where we naturally seek out the negative and tend to overlook the positive.
Awareness of our negativity bias is crucial to practicing patience in our relationships.
It can be helpful to bring awareness to any negative thoughts and frustration that come up with your partner and be curious about when it is a legitimate issue with your partner or your own internal struggles projected onto your partner.
Related: How to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts?
Practice healthy and effective communication
Effective communication is incredibly important to patience in a relationship. Healthy communication can allow us to sort through our thoughts and emotions with our partner, as well as create opportunities for repair (and re-connection) when any ruptures arise.
When we are able to express what we are feeling and better understand our partner’s perspective, this can lead to us naturally having more patience in the relationship.
I often encourage individuals to look for what their partner is doing right (and verbalize that to them), as well as focusing on creating positive assumptions about them rather than negative ones.
Patience in a relationship often starts within. Relationships are often mirrors for us, so it is not uncommon for our partner to be a reflection of some of the imperfections that exist within us, especially when those areas feel intolerable or unacceptable.
This often leads to us projecting our own frustration, anger, fear, etc., onto our partner.
This is also natural because, typically, our partner represents a safe and secure attachment figure, so there can be a tendency to take advantage of them in this way, which often leads to taking them for granted.
This is also why self-awareness is critical to healthy relationships and patience with our partner.
Self-awareness does not mean we are invulnerable to our own blind spots and defense mechanisms, but when these issues do come to the surface, we can pause before reacting or circle back to a conflict and take ownership over our own role in the dynamic.
When we can self-reflect, show curiosity about our own internal world as well as our partner’s, and work towards effective communication, patience will likely come much more easily in relationships.
Nicole Kleiman-Reck, MA, LMHC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, Choosing Therapy
Patience can be hard for everyone, especially in our significant relationships. This is most likely due to being most comfortable in these relationships.
Most people feel bad after impatience gets the best of them, so I will share three actionable tips on how to be more patient in relationships:
Accept your flaws and accept your partner’s flaws
First, accept your flaws and accept your partner’s flaws. We all need to give up the idea of perfection and instead be on the lookout for the perfectly imperfect person that is by our side.
Look for the things they do well since we are not naturally inclined to do this. It can bring on a positive perspective which will be helpful in the long run.
Express impatience when someone is impatient with us
Second, learn to deal with impatience. It’s natural to express impatience when someone is impatient with us. But you can control how you express your emotions relating to frustration.
Give your partner breathing space and then tackle the issue after you both are in a better headspace.
A break can be 30 minutes when you both decide to do something you enjoy — it should not be time to fester about what is frustrating, as this will not allow you to optimize the reasons for taking a break in the first place.
Listen; let your partner speak
Finally, remember the art of listening. Listen as if your job depended on it. It is hard to do when angry, but a simple trick is to just breathe. Put your agenda to the side for a short time to let your partner speak.
It is good to pretend you are a journalist, just asking questions and not getting defensive or reactive. This is the best way to really look for another viewpoint/perspective, and an open person is usually a more patient person as well.
Give yourself a minute to absorb what you heard and then respond.
Overall, remember that listening is important if you want to be listened to. Being patient in a relationship exists in the space between what you feel and how you react — it is all about choosing to respond as your ideal self, which always feels good!
Creative Psychotherapist | CEO and Principal Art Therapist, Indigo Therapy
Patience is important in all relationships, whether this is family relationships, friendships, or work colleagues — the ripple effect of poor relationships, no matter which ones, can rock your foundations and disrupt all other aspects of your life.
If you have acknowledged there is a problem, through discussing this and sitting with this discomfort, you can be open to compassion and empathy within the relationship, which is key to solving any problems.
Think about why you aren’t being patient or being less patient than you would like
To start with, try to think about why you aren’t being patient or being less patient than you would like. Being able to admit that you aren’t being patient is the first step to finding the root of the problem.
Once you have done this, you can begin the next steps of focusing on how to solve the problem.
Due to the world we live in, we are all used to instant gratification, and although this is a hard trait to lose when it’s all around us, if you are aware of this, it will allow you to be more understanding of the situation.
For example, are you getting annoyed because your partner doesn’t respond to you fast enough whilst they are away? Everyone is different and has different communication styles.
From the start of your relationship, make sure you communicate clearly on:
- What makes you feel comfortable.
- What you’re not happy with.
- What you need from your partner.
Once this has been established, you can use this as a framework for your relationship. Sometimes, if you find yourself getting upset or annoyed, take yourself back to this conversation and think about whether you are being reasonable with your frustration.
Be patient with yourself; do self-reflection
Another conscious effort you can make is to be patient with yourself. Often we hurt those closest to us because we feel comfortable.
Are you losing your patience with your partner because you’re unhappy about something else, for example being stressed at work? Whatever it is, take a moment to look inwards. The common phrase “Look after yourself before others” is a cliché for a reason. You can’t possibly be patient with others if you’re not looking after yourself.
Try to also be aware of your expectations and how realistic these are, your listening skills, and how empathic you are. These three things are all so important in a relationship.
You’ll never be able to understand how someone else is feeling, but you can try to see things from their perspective, and in order to do this, you need to be a good listener.
Listen to what your partner is saying, take some time to digest this information and try to understand it.
When it comes to realistic expectations, this is linked to looking inwards:
- Are you asking for reasonable things?
- Is there a deeper issue you’re not addressing, either in or out of the relationship, which is causing these frustrations?
There are many ways to improve patience within a relationship, but ultimately it comes down to communication and self-reflection.
Amber Weiss, M.A., NCC, LMHC
Licensed Psychotherapist | Founder, Transformative Mindset
Take the time to really get to know your partner
Make time for each other by asking questions about your partner’s interests and background.
Learn about how they react to situations and share with them the same. This will allow them to get to know all of you. Although this takes time, it is important to embrace that time together as it is useful for your relationship and will help you grow.
Communication is key; be coherent and clear
We have heard this time and time again. In this case, good communication embodies listening and conversational skills. Being able to communicate effectively gets rid of miscommunications. Share what is on your mind, and try to be as coherent and clear as possible.
Listen to your partner
If you are feeling impatient, hear them out. Listen to their why and have them listen to yours. Using listening skills highlights patience and shows that you are present.
Compromise and be able to shift perspectives
Compromise in a relationship reveals patience in another way. Working to come to a solution that benefits everyone requires time and energy resulting in a positive outcome for both parties. Work on viewing the situation from your partner’s perspective as you push for yours.
Set goals together
Setting goals allows you to create meaning and purpose in your relationship. However, goals require shared time and teamwork. Patience is tested with time, but you will likely reach the goals when both individuals are invested!
Be patient with yourself
Focus on progress, not perfection. We all learn at different paces, but it is important to be self-aware of our needs.
Challenge yourself to develop and live as we learn most from experience.
Accept your partner for who they are
Accept your partner’s past, support their present, and encourage their future as you want them to do for you. Unfortunately, life is not always black and white. You must accept all parts of your partner!
Ellie Borden, BA, RP, PCC
Registered Psychotherapist | Certified Life Coach | Clinical Director, Mind By Design
Don’t rush your relationship; enjoy the journey with your partner
All good things don’t happen in a day.
Patience is an incredibly important aspect of a healthy relationship but can be a difficult virtue to maintain at times. Patience is important because it shows caring and consideration to and for your partner. Thus there are some things you should keep in mind when trying to be more patient with your partner.
First, don’t try to rush the good things.
When in a relationship, especially one that is new, it can be easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of something great and try to push for more at an accelerated pace.
Try to remember that no matter how fast you try to push the relationship, love will not form any faster. Instead, enjoy the journey with your partner and where it takes you. Progress your relationship at a pace you are both comfortable with, and show patience in getting to know one another and forming a bond.
You may find that love will grow where it is most nurtured, and putting in the effort to truly get to know your partner will develop into a long-term, healthier relationship.
Be empathetic and take time for yourself
Practice your patience when it is most needed. When you get into an argument or disagreement with your partner, this can be the best time to show how patient you can be and see its benefits.
Instead of jumping to conclusions about your partner’s behaviors or immediately saying the first wrong thing that comes to mind, take a deep breath and think it through.
If needed, be patient and ask for some time to think alone before returning to the conversation. Coming back with a clear head and being ready to communicate openly will provide the best results for getting what you both need.
Demonstrating empathy toward your partner during these times can also be a show of patience. We often only think about ourselves when we are angry or sad with our partner, but showing empathy and understanding about their feelings can be validating and benefit your relationship.
Learn to be patient with yourself; understand that there will be setbacks in everything you do
Another way to become more patient in your relationship is to become more patient with yourself.
This can be the hardest thing to achieve since we often do not consider ourselves when trying to be patient. But, by understanding that what you want and need in life will not turn up right away, you will feel much more satisfied with where you are and the progress being made.
Set realistic expectations and timelines for yourself, understand that there will be setbacks and breakthroughs in everything you do, and you will be demonstrating patience. If you can do this for yourself, your relationship will be better for it.
All relationships begin with the self, so if you want to be patient with your partner, it will be easiest to achieve if you can do it for your own sake first.
People don’t come with instruction manuals
Unlike that shiny, new electronic gadget or exercise equipment you just unwrapped, when we’re invested in a relationship with another person, we can’t simply press a few buttons to get the automated responses we expect or desire.
By definition, being in a relationship presupposes that the individual parties are distinct human beings with unique perceptions, thoughts, and responses developed throughout a lifetime of various experiences, values, and opinions in addition to how the person feels at the present moment.
Naturally, it would be so helpful if our friends, relatives, and coworkers came with specific instruction manuals or YouTube videos so we could simply understand what to do when the other person feels agitated or what to expect when another person is anxious.
People are not always in the same place at the same time
Since relationships are based on multi-directional communication, at the same time we are trying to figure out, manage, or communicate with another person, we are simultaneously filtering and responding to a barrage of incoming stimuli.
Additionally, we are processing all of this information based on our unique experiences, expectations, values and how we are feeling.
For example, sometimes, when a person is hangry — hungry, angry, and tired — chances are that they might be more irritable than if they were well-rested, satiated, and in a great mood.
So while everyone is busy processing all this information, it’s logical that we often might not be in sync with another person at any given time.
Proven strategies to access patience
Sensory overload exists, and our individual ways of processing information and experiences are distinct from each other. In these situations, patience can be a healing salve.
Appreciating and accessing patience cuts through the noise to help both parties reach a place of connection, calm, and balance within themselves and between each other.
Here are several successful strategies to access and strengthen patience in relationships:
Ask yourself questions to help gain perspective
It can be most helpful to ask yourself the following questions when another person isn’t showing up or responding precisely the way you’d imagine:
- Can I separate the words or behavior from the person? If I can do this, I can address how I feel about the words or the behavior without having to make a complete attack on the value and validity of the person.
- Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said right now?
- Will this problem or irritation bother me a week, a month, or five years from now? Often asking yourself this question gives you some perspective on the situation.
Don’t be a mind-reader or expect others to know what’s on your mind
When you get activated, it’s helpful to take a few deep breaths to restore yourself to calmness before saying what’s on your mind in an honest and straightforward way without resorting to being snarky or accusatory.
Related: 9 Ways to Relax and Calm Your Mind
It’s easier to access patience when we understand where the other person is coming from or what they are experiencing at this time. Try to listen with an open mind in the same way you’d want someone else to respect and listen to you.
Don’t engage in the blame game
Sometimes we can feel depleted, agitated, or vulnerable for no good reason. Other times, we can get triggered or traumatized by something that happened to us in our past.
In either situation, when we feel depleted, agitated, or vulnerable, it’s so easy to go on the attack and start to blame someone else.
Blame is an ill-fated distraction tactic that never restores a person to happiness because saying negative, hurtful things to another person will probably make you feel worse.
Good things come to those who wait; be honest and vulnerable in your relationship
Here’s a popular L.O.V.E. acronym: Let Others Voluntarily Evolve. We know that coddling a child or grown-up prevents them from self-discovery and the dignity of personal accomplishment and growth.
When we are committed to being honest and vulnerable in our close relationships, we create psychological safety to let another person share setbacks, challenges, triumphs, and small victories with us in a safe space.
With patience and goodwill, when we let others voluntarily evolve and show that same level of acceptance for ourselves, we nurture and nourish strong and healthier relationships.
Show acceptance of and tolerance for differences and limitations
Relationships grow organically as the individuals involved get to know each other well, adjust to the differences between them, and develop a couple culture. Along the way, couples often have big decisions to make about where their relationship is going and what to do together.
Organic growth, versus a forced pace, requires applying the character quality of patience.
What is patience?
Patience is maintaining steady awareness and control of your thoughts and responses while waiting for or seeking an outcome. It is also controlling your words and actions while willingly and calmly taking the time to respond to difficult, inconvenient, hurtful, delaying, or troublesome situations.
How do you practice patience?
You practice patience effectively when you:
- Listen attentively, stay aware, hold back a hasty or angry reply, think before speaking, and respond in a calm and level-headed way
- Work carefully through a task that has many steps, going at an even pace or waiting for someone else to do the same
- Appreciate and even enjoy the moment without agitating for it to move forward
- Show acceptance of and tolerance for differences and limitations in others
- Tolerate a delay, waiting alertly and calmly for what is in motion to unfold or for difficulties to be resolved
- Take calm and appropriate actions as needed to move something forward
- Accept calmly and with a positive and hopeful attitude what you cannot change
- Allow yourself and others the time, attention, and practice needed to develop character strengths, learn new skills, accomplish tasks, and give effective service to others
- Participate in relationships and life circumstances as organic processes, adjusting to gradual growth and development
- Maintain quiet, steadfast hope and intention for positive outcomes, trusting that matters will come together in the best way possible
Consult with professionals when patience is unwise
As your relationship grows, you will naturally look for the red and green flags that tell you whether the relationship is healthy and viable for the long term.
If you are seeing significant red flags, especially if there is abuse or extreme selfishness (potentially an indicator of narcissism), then patiently waiting for a partner to change may put you in physical or emotional jeopardy.
If you are in doubt about whether to be patient or get out, consult with professionals and those who care about you to determine a wise course of action.
Author | Speaker | Coach | Founder, Relating Academy
Follow a behavior change pattern
Our relationships offer a mirror into ourselves. If we are not patient in our relationship, we are more often than not also not patient with ourselves. Becoming patient in a relationship follows the same behavior change pattern as any behavior change pattern.
Here are the five stages:
Precontemplation: You’re oblivious to how your patience level affects those around you
At this stage, you are completely unaware that your patience level is a problem. Others may have noticed it around you, but you are oblivious to how it affects those around you.
Contemplation: You are weighing the pros and cons of changing your behavior
Now that you’re aware, you’d like to have more patience. You are most likely weighing the pros and cons of changing your behavior. After all, behavior change is usually not easy.
The reason it’s not easy is that our brains are wired for comfort; we are wired to seek out the familiar. For our ancestors, “familiar” was safe.
However, we are not our ancestors. We are like ships — we are safe in the harbor, but that is not what ships are built for. We are meant to sail out.
Preparation: You start to research ways to change your behavior
You have decided. You do want to be more patient around your partner, not only for them but also for yourself.
You are probably starting to research ways to change your behavior — perhaps you’re listening to podcasts, reading books, talking to your therapist, or looking into the world of psychedelic healing.
Action: Your new self makes the new decision repeatedly until your brain is rewired
This phase requires willpower and something I call the Frankl pause. The Frankl pause is the moment between stimulus and reaction.
Your old self used to have no pause. You’d just react! Your new self has a micro-second of a pause, which turns into a second, which turns into enough time to make the new decision. Your new self makes the new decision repeatedly until your brain is rewired for this new way to be the default.
With consistency, this phase typically lasts 3 to 6 months. When it gets difficult — and it will — continue to choose the new way of the new you. The strategy is to remember why you’re doing this in the first place. What is your motivation for this change?
Maintenance: You’ve experienced the benefits of being patient, and you choose it over repeatedly
Your new behavior is now a stable companion in your life. Yes, you may have the instinct to react quickly from time to time, but you’ve now experienced the benefits of being patient, and you prefer the new way. You choose it over and over again.
Changing a limiting behavior, such as being impatient, is like building any muscle. Start small, keep track of why it’s an important change and never give up. You cannot fail if you do not give up.
Dr. Ketan Parmar
Psychiatrist and Mental Health Expert, ClinicSpots
Accept that patience is essential
Patience is an integral part of any healthy relationship. It takes time to get to know someone and form a strong bond, so it’s crucial to have the patience necessary to cultivate the connection you desire.
This can be difficult, but it will pay off in the long run if you are willing to invest your effort. Additionally, having patience allows for disagreements or arguments to be handled more calmly and with less hurt feelings.
Practice active listening
Active listening is a communication skill that requires patience and attention. When your partner is speaking, ensure you give them your full focus.
Do not interrupt them; allow them to finish their thought. When you are able to listen without judgment or assumptions, your partner will feel valued and heard. This also gives you the opportunity to practice patience.
Take time for yourself
Taking time away from your partner can benefit both of you.
Having space allows each person to address their own needs and recharge their batteries. This may help reduce stress levels and create a more calming atmosphere in the relationship, leading to fewer arguments and better communication overall.
Taking care of yourself is vital because it gives you enough energy and patience in order to be present with your partner when needed.
Focus on the positive
When times get tough, it’s helpful to focus on the positive aspects of the relationship.
This could include anything from how your partner makes you laugh to how they are always there for you when you need them. This can be a great way to stay motivated and remain patient during difficult times in the relationship.
Communication is key in any healthy relationship, including discussing patience and setting expectations with each other. If one partner is expecting more than what the other can give, it could lead to disappointment or hurt feelings which can then cause arguments.
Make sure that any issues regarding patience are discussed openly, so both partners understand their needs and limits.
Patience plays an important role in developing strong relationships, but it’s not always easy.
Remember to practice active listening, take time for yourself, focus on the positive aspects of your partner and communicate openly with them in order to cultivate a healthy and patient relationship.
Patience is an important part of any relationship. When couples are patient with one another, they can better understand each other’s thoughts and feelings. It also helps them to be more understanding and compassionate towards one another.
Here are some tips on how to stay patient in a relationship:
Find out what triggers your impatience
Take a moment to reflect and identify which situations cause you to be impatient in the relationship. Maybe it’s when your partner is running late or doesn’t pick up right away when you call.
Once you know what triggers your impatience, try to be more mindful by pausing and taking a deep breath before responding.
Related: 7 Ways to Live a Mindful Life
Be mindful of your expectations
It’s easy to set unrealistic expectations for your partner and then become frustrated when they don’t meet those expectations. Instead, try to be understanding and open-minded about their limitations and embrace the unique qualities that make them who they are.
Disagreements are normal
When it comes to being patient in a relationship, it is necessary to remember that disagreements are normal — even healthy.
If arguments arise, it’s crucial to be honest and open about your feelings and remain calm and respectful. Listen actively to what your partner has to say and consider their perspective before responding.
Express yourself in a healthy way
Take a few moments to pause and think through how best to express yourself in a healthy way that can help encourage productive dialogue.
When it comes to difficult conversations, it’s often best to keep the matter of discussion more focused and avoid bringing up unrelated past issues.
Take a break and approach problems with a clear head
In moments of frustration, deep breathing or taking a few moments for yourself can help you maintain your composure and approach problems with a clear head.
Taking a break before responding can help you remain calm and be more open to understanding your partner’s point of view.
Work together to compromise
It is also important to remember that, at the end of the day, if there are differences between partners, it doesn’t mean that one is right and one is wrong. Both parties can work together to compromise and come up with a solution that works best for both of them.
Dr. David Seitz
Medical Director, Ascendant Detox
Communicate openly and honestly with your partner
Open conversations help to build trust and understanding in a relationship. Talk about how you feel, what you need from your partner, and why patience is so important to you.
Take time for yourself
Self-care is essential for maintaining healthy relationships. Taking regular breaks to do things that make you happy, whether it is reading, listening to music, or spending time with friends, can help to keep your stress levels down and give you the patience you need when dealing with difficult situations in your relationship.
Don’t take things personally
It’s easy to be hurt by a comment or action of our partner, but it’s important to remember that people don’t always express themselves in the best way.
Try to be understanding and realize that your partner is not intentionally trying to hurt you.
Remain positive and show that you still care
When things get tough, it’s important to stay positive and show your partner that you still care about them despite any disagreements or arguments.
Acknowledge the good times you have together and focus on the things you appreciate about each other.
Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes
Patience is a skill that can be developed over time, so practice it! Take deep breaths when you feel frustrated, and try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. This will help you better understand their perspective and foster more patience in the relationship.
Senior Editor, Tandem
You’ve probably heard, “Patience is a virtue.” This is believed to have originated in poet William Langland’s “Piers Plowman” from 1360 AD. That was almost 700 years ago, but some things never change.
Patience still is a virtue, especially when it comes to relationships. You can no longer think only of yourself when you have a partner because the things you say and do will frequently affect your mate.
Sometimes, however, you won’t agree with them and might start feeling impatient. This is not the only reason to feel this way, but we should all learn how to be patient regardless of the reason why.
But how can we be patient in a relationship?
See their point of view
If you are looking at an issue only from one side, it might cause you to lose your patience. Seeing the situation from another perspective might enable you to take a step back and give the other person more time.
Accept them as they are
In an ideal world, we would love every aspect of our partner and wouldn’t want a thing about them to change. This isn’t the world we live in. But instead of trying to change your partner, accept them as they are. It will make it easier for you to be patient.
Breathe, just breathe
You might be wondering how you can be more accepting, but simply breathing is a great way to do this. While you might want the other person to speed up, they might want you to slow down. Take a breath and remind yourself that patience now will be worth it later.
Become a better listener
When you listen to what your partner is saying but don’t hear their message, you aren’t doing either of you any favors. Make sure when you are talking to each other that you really hear them and absorb the message they are conveying.
Choose your words wisely
You don’t want to merely talk to your partner. You want to communicate with them. They should understand you the same way you are trying to understand them.
When you have conversations, choose your words so that your messages don’t get misconstrued.
Sometimes being patient is easier said than done. If you are typically inpatient, you aren’t going to become incredibly patient in a snap. It will take some time and work, but you can get there if you try.
Aura Priscel De Los Santos
BA in Clinical Psychology | MA in Higher Education | Clinical Psychologist, WonderBaby
When two people come together in a relationship, it can be one of the most fulfilling experiences a person can have. It is an opportunity to connect deeply and support one another through both good and bad times.
However, true connection depends on so much more than just two people
sharing experiences; it also requires communication and empathy.
Consider your partner’s feelings
Every relationship involves conflict, but how you respond to that conflict will determine if your relationship succeeds or fails.
It’s perfectly normal to only think about how your partner’s reactions affect you. After all, you are highly aware of your own feelings!
For example, if your partner does something that bothers or upsets you but is unaware that they have hurt you, you may respond negatively and not realize that they don’t even understand why you are upset.
When they don’t immediately apologize or become defensive, this can just solidify your hurt feelings leaving you feeling even worse.
The problem in this situation was that you couldn’t relate to your partner’s point of view, and thus you may have attacked them, causing them to respond in kind. When one partner takes the time to truly understand what their partner is feeling, it creates an environment of deep understanding, trust, and respect.
Empathy helps us see beyond our own perspectives and enables us to better care for our partner’s emotional needs.
It encourages open dialogue, allowing both parties to make themselves understood without fear of judgment or ridicule. In this way, empathy plays an essential role in helping relationships stay strong and healthy over time.
Without it, we may never have the opportunity to fully explore the beauty of being connected deeply with another person.
When you allow yourself to consider your partner’s point of view and empathize with their feelings, you can better understand their reactions and are less likely to feel bad about how they respond.
When you understand why your partner reacts in a certain way, you can be more patient and even think of ways to improve the situation instead of allowing things to get worse.
Remember: Don’t react immediately when faced with a reaction that you
consider offensive or makes you feel bad. Take the time to think about
the causes of your partner’s reaction and how this information can help
improve the situation for both of you.
Communicate how you feel assertively
Communicating with your partner is an essential part of any relationship. Without it, misunderstandings, assumptions, and other problems can arise, leading to difficulties that might otherwise have been avoided.
Good communication requires being open and honest with each other and listening to one another’s perspectives. It can also help partners to better understand and appreciate each other’s needs and feelings, allowing them to build trust and intimacy in their relationship.
In couple relationships, problems are solved by talking but assertively. For communication to be assertive and for there to be a solution, both must speak from a position of being open to solving problems and not intending to blame the other.
When the conversation focuses on finding fault, it is doubtful that there will be a solution, and neither will feel peace.
Being assertive means listening to your partner when they are speaking, not looking for someone to blame, assuming responsibility in the relationship, and deciding to forgive.
When the above is put into practice, it will always be easier to solve problems and communicate effectively.
Elizabeth Sarah Larkin
Writer, American Folk Magazine
When it comes to relationships, one of the hardest things to do is be patient. Whether you’re waiting for your partner to be ready for a commitment or trying to work through a difficult issue, patience is key.
Here are a few tips on how to be patient in a relationship:
Communicate openly and honestly with your partner
One of the most important things you can do in a relationship is to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. This means being honest about your feelings, needs, and wants. It also means being willing to listen to your partner and try to understand their perspective.
If you’re honest with each other, it’ll be easier to be patient with each other.
Make sure you’re on the same page
Before you can be patient with each other, you need to make sure you’re on the same page. This means having honest conversations about your relationship goals and expectations.
Once you know where each other stands, it’ll be easier to be patient with each other.
Be willing to compromise
In any relationship, there will be times when you have to compromise. This doesn’t mean you have to give up what you want, but it does mean that you’re willing to negotiate and find a middle ground. If you’re not willing to compromise, being patient with each other will be hard.
Don’t try to change your partner
One of the biggest reasons why relationships fail is because one person tries to change the other.
If you’re not happy with who your partner is, it’s important to talk to them about it. But trying to change them will only create tension and resentment.
It’s important to accept your partner for who they are.
Have realistic expectations
It’s important to have realistic expectations in a relationship. This means understanding that your partner is human and imperfect. They’re going to make mistakes, and they’re not going to be able to read your mind. If you can accept your partner for who they are, it’ll be easier to be patient with them.
When it comes to being patient, one of the most important things is to be understanding. This means trying to see things from your partner’s perspective and having empathy for their situation. If you can put yourself in their shoes, it’ll be easier to be patient with them.
Don’t give up
Even when it’s hard, it’s important to never give up on your relationship. If you truly care about each other, you’ll find a way to work through the tough times. They say that patience is a virtue, and it’s true. But it’s also worth it.
Teen Wellness and Family Therapist
Take time to know one another
While it can be a struggle in a relationship to want more from your partner, it is important to understand that growing together is a process. Also, there is no definite timeline for anyone’s relationship unless you put a timeline on your relationship.
At the beginning of the relationship, each partner should get to know one another and have fun with the dating process. We are a microwave society and want to post the hashtag “bae goals” or “relationship goals” as soon as possible, but do we really know each other?
This leads to how to be patient; the best things to do are to take time for yourself to know yourself and to explore your goals in life.
For some people, this means traveling while in a relationship and spending time with friends as you are also building your relationship. It is important to have other interests while in a relationship so that you are not rushing to fill your time with the relationship.
It is okay; taking your time to define and identify the right person for you to build a relationship with is a process and not an instant fix for being alone.
Parenting Content Specialist, HiJunior
Being patient in a relationship is one of the most important aspects, yet it can be difficult for some people to master. Patience helps you learn to listen and understand your partner’s unique perspectives. It also allows you to address relationship issues without getting into unnecessary arguments or fights.
Patience creates an environment where both partners can express their feelings openly and honestly without fear of judgment or criticism. Patience also has psychological benefits.
It reduces stress, increases self-confidence, and strengthens relationships over time. As our relationship grows, patience will help us maintain that connection and avoid getting stuck in a rut.
If you’re struggling to remain patient, here are some tips for getting started:
Take a few deep breaths before responding to your partner, and practice mindfulness at the moment. Practicing mindfulness in a relationship can be challenging, but it’s well worth the effort.
Mindfulness is about being present and taking the time to understand yourself and your partner.
Talk through disagreements with respect and understanding. No relationship will ever be free of conflicts, but it’s important to handle them in a respectful and understanding way. The relationship can become stronger if you and your partner can talk about issues calmly without getting angry or defensive.
Be aware of any triggers that create stress and take steps to manage them actively. Talk openly and honestly about any frustrations or issues that may arise in order to resolve them together.
Let go of past resentments or grievances
Make a conscious effort to let go of past resentments or grievances. Holding onto past resentments and grudges can be hard work. It’s natural to want to make sense of hurtful experiences, but sometimes it can do more harm than good in the relationship.
You may feel frustrated or angry towards your partner over things that have long since passed, which won’t help you move forward.
Celebrate each other’s successes, no matter how small. It’s easy to get caught up in our accomplishments and forget that others need recognition and appreciation.
Celebrating each other’s successes helps:
- Strengthen relationships
- Build patience
- Promote mutual respect
Show gratitude for the relationship every day. Whether expressing your appreciation for each other or simply taking a moment to recognize how your relationship has strengthened over time, showing gratitude can make a huge difference in strengthening the bond you share.
By practicing patience in our relationship, we can learn more about one another, foster better communication, and create a healthier relationship dynamic. Ultimately, this will help both partners grow and deepen the relationship in the long run.
It may take some time to get used to, but with patience, you can create a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.
Remember that relationship dynamics are constantly changing; be flexible and open-minded
Lastly, it’s important to remember that relationship dynamics are constantly changing and evolving. Patience is essential for allowing partners to be flexible and open-minded as their relationship grows and changes.
With patience, you can stay connected, keep communication lines strong, and ultimately create a relationship full of understanding and respect.
Patience in a relationship is the biggest key to success and having a good relationship. Regardless of any misunderstanding, or anything else with the relationship, keeping the peace is achieved only by patience.
Apply patience in a relationship; there are several ways to do it. Below are some:
Don’t be obsessed
Whether you are right about your decision, don’t obsess and fight with your partner in the relationship because that will only create problems and not solve problems for a relationship.
Most people become obsessive when they are violated or see bad deeds if there is no root cause, and most people do not accept what is not the cause for that.
Don’t get angry
Anger means not talking to your partner over a minor issue, such as breaking a promise. Partners shouldn’t patronize anger as this is the biggest cause of bad relationships, especially for couples.
To prevent a bad relationship from happening, try to calm down whenever your partner is angry and try to make it an enjoyable event to maintain the relationship for a long time. This means creating a funny moment when it is about to start can be the best solution.
Related: What is Anger Management?
Patience is indeed a virtue, but no one said it’s easy either. Patience will test the fortitude of any relationship, but there are tricks to becoming more comfortable as time progresses if you follow a few simple tricks:
Focus inward, not outward; improve yourself
The more you focus on others, the more discontent and consumed you will be with their behavior. Therefore, focus on yourself instead for the time being and identify things that are in your power to change.
If your attention is focused on character traits you’d like to change in yourself or personal development you’d like to improve upon, your ability to become more patient with others will increase because you’re not consumed with changing them but improving yourself.
Invest for the future; respect begets respect
If you believe patience is expected, you’ll likely become frustrated and discontent. Rather, think of patience as something you need to give so that the same level of respect is extended to you by others in the future.
When you extend a lifeline of time to others, you shift your attention to investing for the future rather than cashing in on the present with frustration. That doesn’t guarantee that tomorrow will turn out as you prefer, but it helps you cope by quelling impatience.
Take a step back and look at the big picture
It is far too easy to look at circumstances in a vacuum and become impatient. Therefore, take a step back and evaluate the situation from a 40,000-ft lens to calm your emotions and gain proper perspective.
Sometimes, frustration can boil over when all your focus and attention is on one specific detail: Time.
So rather than get lost in translation with details, look at the big picture instead, and you’ll breathe easier as you fight to extend more patience in your relationships.
Focus on being more understanding
Patience feels like something that is often out of our control. Therefore, flip the script and focus on being more understanding with others by putting patience on the back burner.
That’s not to say patience is unimportant. It simply means you’re focusing your attention on others’ needs (understanding) rather than how their time-delaying behavior impacts you(impatience) first and foremost.
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